And, of course, Netra, who Cara missed every day. The pain of her leaving was still sharp. Cara dealt with it by talking to her. She did it every day, imagining the two of them sitting somewhere peaceful like the bench under the mesquite trees behind the Haven. In her imagination Netra listened carefully and laughed often while Cara told her everything that had happened since she’d left. Cara never allowed her hope to dim. Netra would return some day, when she had done what she needed to do. All this ugliness would end and the two of them would again sit under the trees and talk.
The morning was crisp and almost cold and Cara shivered in her robe. It was surprising how cold her head was without hair and it took real effort to avoid touching her scalp, yet again, to see if her hair really was gone. She wondered briefly why the Tenders needed to cut their hair to fight Melekath, but decided quickly that it was not important. The FirstMother must know what she was doing. It was Cara’s job just to go along and do what she was told.
As the women made their way through the streets, people came out of their homes. Many just stood and stared and Cara shivered again, for there was such fear and desperate hope in their faces. Others began to follow until there was quite a crowd behind them. Almost on its own her hand moved to the metal Reminder that hung around her neck. When she and the others from Rane Haven finished changing and went to get their heads shaved each of them had had the Reminder hidden under her robes. Whereupon Anouk had told them that they did not have to hide who they were any more and they were to wear them proudly.
Now she wasn’t so sure. The look in the people’s eyes, like starving dogs circling a wounded deer, was frightening. They were desperate, and that desperation was fixed too closely on Cara and the other women. Tenders who wanted to grow old peacefully did not flaunt what they were. Too much hostility still lurked beneath the surface. She began to slip the Reminder back into her robes.
“It’s not like that anymore,” the Tender beside her said. It was the same hungry-eyed woman who had spoken to her at breakfast. “They know we are all that stands between them and Melekath.”
Slowly, Cara released the symbol and nodded. She still felt uncomfortable, but as they continued through the city streets she saw that the woman was right. No angry words were directed at the Tenders. None in the crowd sought to hinder them in any way. She saw men removing their hats and lowering their heads, women curtsying, even people falling to their knees, hands reaching up in supplication.
The crowd following them had grown quite large by the time the Tenders arrived at their destination, a square near the edge of the city. A number of buildings along one side of the square had been razed and a large, stone building was being erected in their place. Even this early, workmen were already swarming over the site, climbing ladders, hurrying along scaffolding, pulling on ropes that wound through pulleys, raising blocks of stone into the air. She stared at it wide-eyed for a moment, unsure what it all meant, then realized this must be where the carts laden with stone she and her sisters had seen the day before were headed.
The Tenders arrayed themselves in a double line in front of what was going to be the front entrance to the building. Behind them was a simple wooden platform with steps leading up to it. The FirstMother climbed the steps to the platform as the guards who had accompanied them fanned out to form a barrier between the Tenders and the growing crowd.
“Wonderful, isn’t it?” the hungry-eyed woman next to her said. Cara found herself wishing the woman would leave her alone. “Can you imagine? All this for us! And to think only a short time ago we lived in dirt and were spat on by trash.”
Cara edged away from her somewhat, though she tried to be discreet.
“It was right here, in Seafast Square, that the FirstMother, Mulin and Perast faced a monster from the sea and destroyed it.”
Cara gaped at her without replying. A monster from the sea? How was that possible? Surely the woman was exaggerating.
As the sun peeked over the horizon, the FirstMother began to speak. She spoke of the coming darkness and of the Tenders who stood between the people and Melekath. The crowd grew larger and Cara began to understand why the guards were there.
There was a hunger in the crowd, as if it was a single animal that crouched before them. But no animal could exude such desperate, frightened energy. This animal had a great need and it was a need that only the Tenders could satisfy. What made the animal terrifying to Cara was wondering what would happen if the Tenders could no longer supply what it needed. She had a sudden image of the crowd surging forward in a massed wave, tearing the few women who stood before it into pieces as it sated its fear and its need on their blood. She fell back a half step. The meager guards would be able to do nothing.
There was a hand on her elbow. It was the hungry-eyed Tender. “Don’t be afraid,” she said. “Isn’t it wonderful?”
After the service Cara found herself beset by the Tender again as they were standing in a loose group, waiting to return to the estate. She was an odd woman, only a few years older than Cara. One shoulder seemed lower than the other, as if something heavy had fallen on her when she was a child. But oddest of all was her gaze. The way she fixed her eyes on Cara was almost voracious. It was as though she could draw Cara in with her gaze and devour some essential part of her, something she lacked that Cara could supply.
“My name is Adira,” she said, taking hold of one of Cara’s hands in both of hers and not letting go. “I came from Talkir Haven, near Veragin.” She said the names as if she expected Cara to recognize them. Cara shook her head. Adira frowned and continued, “Veragin was a cursed city. They worshipped Gorim.”
“I’ve never been to Veragin,” Cara said. “I’ve never been anywhere until we came here. I only got here yesterday.” She realized she was babbling, but the woman’s stare made her uneasy.
“Just as well,” Adira said, still fixing her with that intense stare. “Everyone’s dead there. It was only the justice they deserved.” She gave Cara an odd, sly smile.
“Everyone in the city is dead?” Cara stuttered.
Adira snorted. It might have been a laugh. It was hard to tell. “Every one of them. People think it was some kind of disease, but I think Xochitl did it to punish them for worshipping a false god.”
Cara stared at her in horror. “I can’t believe the Mother would do such a thing. What about the children?”
Adira shrugged. “Too late now. All dead.”
Cara pulled her hand from the woman’s grasp and looked around for someone to help extricate her from this conversation, but she saw none of the women from Rane Haven.
“Everyone on the wrong side is going to pay now,” Adira continued. “We’re going to make sure of that. That’s why Xochitl gave us these.” She reached into her robe and pulled out her sulbit, held it up to Cara’s face.
Uneasily, Cara took a step back. The thing was the size of Adira’s thumb, its color the dirty white of old snow. It had no eyes or mouth that she could see. It squirmed there in Adira’s palm.
Adira’s eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong?”
“I just…I’m a little afraid of it is all.”
“Aren’t you a Tender? You said you were a Tender.”
“I am.”
“Then what are you afraid of? Xochitl wants us to have these so we can kill her enemies. The Protector says so.”
Cara nodded, her eyes fixed on the thing. Something about it made her profoundly uneasy.
Adira thrust it in her face again. “Touch it. Prove you’re not afraid of it.”
Cara reached out with one hand, trying not to let it shake, and touched the sulbit with her fingertip. It was smooth and soft, and just a little bit cold. She relaxed a tiny bit. It wasn’t so—
The thing recoiled under her finger, rearing back like a snake about to strike, revealing a tiny, open mouth. Cara jerked back with a cry.
Adira frowned. “What’s the matter with you?”
Cara was trembling all over. “It tried…it tr
ied to bite me!”
“Ridiculous,” Adira replied, looking at it closely. “It hasn’t moved at all.”
Cara stared. The thing was motionless as before, its smooth surface unbroken by eyes or mouth. “I guess I imagined it.”
“You’ll see once you get yours. You’ll love yours just as I love mine. It talks to me, you know. I can hear it inside.”
“Okay,” Cara said. She didn’t know what else to say.
The call came to line up for the walk back to the estate. As she moved away, Adira whispered, “I think we’re going to be friends. I like you.”
Five
“So you probably have a lot of questions,” Velma said. The Tenders from Rane Haven were gathered around her on the grounds of the Tender estate.
“What, exactly, is a sulbit?” Karyn asked, peering nearsightedly at her. “I have never come across any mention of them in all the books I have read.”
Velma frowned, her nose wrinkling. She scratched her sunburned scalp. “I should have known you’d ask that one first,” she said ruefully. “The truth is I don’t know. I’ve wondered the same thing myself. All I know is that you go up into the ruined temple in old Qarath and Lowellin is there and he pushes you beyond and then this black thing wraps around you and takes you to the River and that’s where you get your sulbit. It’s some kind of creature that lives in the River.” She paused and looked at them uneasily. “Does that help?”
“I have even more questions than before,” Bronwyn said.
“Oh dear,” Velma said. “I knew I should have had Anouk do this. She’s lots better at it than I am, but the FirstMother has been saying I need to be more involved or what kind of second-in-command am I so I thought…”
“Who is Lowellin?” Donae asked.
“He’s the Protector,” Velma said, nodding vigorously. She seemed happy to be asked a question she could answer.
“The Protector? From the Book of Xochitl?” Karyn asked.
“The same one. He’s come to get us ready to fight Melekath.” Velma’s smile disappeared and she looked down. “Though I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. I’m really very bad at controlling my sulbit.”
“Can we see your sulbit?” Bronwyn asked.
“Of course. Here it is.” Velma reached inside her robe, then frowned. “Where did it go?” she murmured. She started patting herself down. “I know it’s here somewhere, I can feel it, it’s just, it moves sometimes and oh, this is so embarrassing…” She patted her left arm and her face lit up all at once. “Here it is!” She reached into her sleeve and pulled it out triumphantly. “That’s a bad sulbit,” she told it. “Hiding from me like that.”
The other Tenders all moved closer to get a better look at the thing but Cara stayed back. Touching Adira’s sulbit had been enough for her for one day. As if thinking of the odd woman summoned her, she looked off to the side and saw Adira standing by one of the rough wooden barracks, staring at her. Cara turned away.
“Was it scary, going to get it?” Donae asked. The small woman was looking at Velma’s sulbit with horrified fascination.
Velma looked around to make sure no one was listening, and lowered her voice. “I was terrified. I thought I was going to faint.” She put her sulbit back inside her robe. “But I’m afraid a lot, so that probably doesn’t mean anything. The FirstMother says I need to stop acting like such a baby.”
Donae shivered. Owina patted her on the arm. “It’s okay,” the older woman said. “I’ll come with you if you want.”
“Oh, the Protector doesn’t allow that. You have to go alone.”
Donae gave Owina a stricken look. “I’m sure it’s perfectly safe,” Owina told her.
“As long as what happened to Lenda doesn’t happen to you,” Velma blurted out, then clamped her hand over her mouth.
“What happened to Lenda?” Donae fairly shrieked. “Who’s Lenda?”
“I’m sorry,” Velma babbled. “I’m not supposed to talk about her.”
“I think it’s too late for that,” Bronwyn said sternly.
Velma looked all around, then lowered her voice to a whisper. “Lenda was—is—a little simple, you know? Like a child in a woman’s body. She just couldn’t handle her sulbit and it…it…” She broke off. “I shouldn’t have said anything. You shouldn’t worry. You’ll all be fine.”
“What happened to her?” Bronwyn said. Her voice was calm but authoritative and Velma melted under it.
“It took control of her. She ran away.”
The women of Rane Haven stared at each other, grappling with the implications of her words. Donae spoke first.
“I want to go back to the Haven!” she wailed.
“Nonsense,” Bronwyn said. “It’s too late for that.”
“But I don’t want one of those things controlling me.”
“It’s not like that,” Velma said. “You can do it. If I can, you can. Believe me. It’s just that…well, they don’t know how to move around when they first come out of the River. The Protector says it’s because they don’t have bodies there. So when they want to do something, like when they’re hungry, they try to get you to do it. But you’ll learn how to control it, just like I’m learning. You just have to be firm. It’s hard when you first wake up but most of the time it’s okay.” She stared at them earnestly, willing them to believe.
“What happens when you wake up?” Donae asked.
“It’s nothing, really. When you’re still sleepy and not really there yet sometimes your sulbit can make you do things. But don’t worry, because mostly they just want to feed on your Song.”
“They feed on your Song?” Donae shrilled.
“It’s just because they’re hungry. They’re always hungry. That’s why we feed them every day and as long as you do and you learn to control them it’s really not much of a problem.”
“I don’t want something that’s going to try and eat me during the night!” Donae said, her eyes very large.
“Your sulbit’s not going to eat you,” Velma reassured her. “It would have to be much bigger and stronger before it could do that.”
“They’re going to get bigger?”
“This isn’t going well at all. Forgive me. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Back to what you said before,” Karyn said. “I take it to mean there’s some kind of mental link between you and your sulbit.”
“I guess. At least, I can feel it there, in the back of my thoughts. In some ways it’s really kind of comforting, like a friend who’s always there.”
Donae didn’t look convinced at all.
“There’s other good things too,” Velma added. “I can hear Song all the time now, and I never could before. I can go beyond easily. I can’t really take hold of a flow and fire a Song bolt yet, but one of these days I’m sure I will.” She didn’t actually sound sure to Cara, more like she was trying to convince herself.
“What is Song bolt?” Karyn asked. She was clearly fascinated by all this.
“It’s when you bleed Song off a flow and then let it build up until you can shoot it at something, kind of like a little lightning bolt. The Protector says we’re going to use them on Melekath.” She looked around at all of them. “Does that help? You’re not still frightened, are you?”
Most of them shook their heads but Donae said, “I still am. I don’t feel any better at all.”
“Stop being a child,” Bronwyn told her sternly. “You’re a Tender, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Donae said meekly.
“This is a war. It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s going to be hard. It’s going to be frightening.”
“Okay.”
“But you have us. We’re all here with you. We’re all going to help you.” She looked at the rest of them. “Aren’t we?”
“Of course we are,” Owina said, and the rest echoed her.
“I just don’t want to go first,” Donae said.
“I’m sure you won’t have to,” Owina said.
“I want to go first,” Bronwyn said. “I’m excited.” Cara wasn’t surprised by that. Bronwyn had always been bold and confident. She was like Netra in that, just not as rebellious.
“It looks like some Tenders are going to feed their sulbits,” Velma said. “Let’s go watch. You’ll learn a lot.”
They walked over to where a group of Tenders were standing around a bull shatren. A tall, dark-skinned woman was in charge of the group.
“That’s Mulin,” Velma said softly. “She was one of the ones who killed the sea monster. Her sulbit is already very strong.”
Mulin pointed to one of the Tenders and said, “You first.”
The woman, plump with red hair, walked up to the bull hesitantly.
“Remember, don’t let your sulbit feed until I say to,” Mulin said. “This is an excellent opportunity to exert control over your sulbit and teach it who is in charge. Begin when you’re ready.”
The red-haired woman took her sulbit out of her robe and held it in the palm of her hand. It was quite small, hard for Cara to see from where she stood. Though it didn’t move, it seemed to her that she could feel it become suddenly alert.
“Move your hand until it is only a couple of inches away, but no closer.”
The red-haired woman moved her hand closer, closer.
“That’s enough,” Mulin said.
At first Cara thought the red-haired Tender didn’t hear her because her hand kept drifting closer. But then she saw the strain on the woman’s face and knew she was having trouble.
“Fight it,” Mulin said. “Remember that you’re in charge.”
The woman’s hand shook and she bit her lip. Still her hand drifted slightly closer. She put her other hand on the bull and with a great effort managed to pull her hand back a couple of inches.
Guardians Watch Page 5