She spoke of the women she’d grown up with, how cross Brelisha always seemed to be, the opposite of Siena who always had a soft lap and softer words for a little girl who was always getting into trouble. Of the time when she talked Cara into sneaking out of the Haven after dark to watch a lightning storm and they both ran home screaming when lightning struck so close they were knocked down.
She told him of her Songquest, how she had fasted for days and then stumbled into the cave where her spirit guide appeared to her. In a faraway voice she told him about finding the claw that was her sonkrill, how the beams of light came out of the depths of the cave and joined with the light that was within her. It was something she had never told another, but it seemed right and she did not hesitate. When she was done she showed him the scar on her arm, where the rock lion clawed her, though he did not look.
She talked and the day passed, but Shorn never replied. He seemed to pay no attention and did not look when she presented her sonkrill to him or showed him the scar, but she had a feeling that he heard more than he let on, that he was in fact clinging to her words. And why wouldn’t he? He had lost everything. The bedrock he had built his life on had shifted and he had no idea what to believe anymore. It hit her then—
The two of them were not so different.
At that moment she made her own vow to him, to match what he had made to her. I will not fail you, Shorn. I will stay with you, whatever happens, and together we will find the light again.
He gave her a sharp look then, as if he had heard and she found herself wondering if she’d said the words aloud accidentally. But when he saw her looking at him he turned his face away and after that she kept her words inside, leaving what she had said to sink in, hoping they could bring some nourishment to the parched recesses of his heart.
Thirty-seven
Rome and Tairus stood on the wall above the main gates, watching as Qarath’s army marched out of the city. Though it was before dawn, it looked like most of the city had turned out to watch the army’s departure. The large square just inside the city gates was packed. The city watch had their hands full keeping the crowd back so that the soldiers could pass through. The crowd was oddly silent. There was an anxious feel in the air. Men stood with dour looks on their faces. Women clutched their children close. The threat was growing by the day and their army was leaving. Who would protect them now? Were they being abandoned?
“Don’t leave!” a woman yelled suddenly.
As if her words broke an invisible wall, other voices rose as well.
A man climbed up on the statue that stood in the middle of the square. “They’re running away!” he yelled. “Leaving us to be slaughtered!”
The ripple of voices became a flood, more people crying out in fear and anger. Scuffles broke out in the crowd.
“You better say something to them,” Tairus said. “This is going to get ugly fast.”
Rome began yelling for silence, but it did no good. His voice was lost in the din. The roar of the crowd grew louder. Rocks flew through the air, struck the column of soldiers. Nervously, the soldiers’ hands went to their weapons.
It might have all fallen apart right then in a frenzy of fear and blood had not the Tenders at that moment emerged from the narrow street that led into the square from the rest of the city. At the sight of them the crowd grew still, every eye fixing on the FirstMother, who rode in the lead.
She rode out into the center of the square, followed by two dozen Tenders, all on horseback. Behind them came their guards, one for each Tender, all of them mounted as well, their white cloaks billowing behind them.
Halfway across the square the FirstMother stopped and surveyed the crowd.
“Do not be afraid,” she said. Her voice was loud and clear in the stillness. “It is not the way of Xochitl to wait passively for the enemy. We are carrying the fight to him. We march to face Kasai, the greatest of the evil one’s minions. We will destroy him and his army and then we will return and do the same to Melekath!”
She threw up her fist and the crowd began to cheer. Just like that the ugly tension bled away.
“That was close,” Tairus said. “I thought…”
“I did too. I should have known they would be afraid. I should have told them what it is we are doing…” Rome’s words trailed off and his thoughts went to Quyloc. Quyloc would have known this would happen.
Where was Quyloc now? Had he left the city? Was he even still alive?
At that moment the future looked very bleak. Always in the past he had overcome every obstacle the world threw at him. He’d survived Rix’s attempt to have him killed. He’d survived the Gur al Krin. He’d taken the crown.
But that was with Quyloc at his back. Now his old friend was gone and he felt lost. What madness was this, that he march his army so far on the slimmest of hopes? Why not stay here and wait for Kasai instead?
“Well, look who’s here,” Tairus said.
Rome turned. Quyloc was mounting the stairs, the rendspear in his hand. He hurried over and had to resist the urge to grab his old friend in a hug when he got to the top. Quyloc hated being touched.
“You made it!”
Quyloc’s smile was faint, but it was there. “Is there room for one more on this march?”
“Of course there is.” Rome realized he had a huge, silly grin on his face but he couldn’t seem to stop it. Lowering his voice so no one else could hear he added, “I can’t tell you how glad I am to see you.” He eyed his friend. Quyloc still looked wan, thinner than he should have been, but the blackness he’d been carrying the day before seemed to have dissipated. “You look different. What happened?”
“I purged the venom. I broke the hunter’s hold on me.”
“How did you… Forget it. There will be time for that later. I’m just glad you’re here.”
“Not as glad as I am.” Quyloc looked down at the crowd. It looked quieter now, calmer. The Tenders were just passing through the gates. “It never occurred to you to speak to them, did it?”
Rome shook his head. “I had too many things on my mind. It just slipped away from me.”
They stood in silence for a while, watching the soldiers pass through the gates and down the road to the west. Finally, the last company appeared, several hundred strong, their armor flashing in the sun. Feathers and plumes and flags flew everywhere. Their horses were proud, expensive animals, their weapons the finest quality. Behind them groaned a wagon train bulging with the accouterments of wealth and accompanied by a small army of servants.
“So you let the nobility come?” Quyloc asked.
“Atalafes caught up to me last night. He was angry at being excluded. I told him they could send whoever they wanted but since they have no official rank they’d be subject to the orders of even the corporals.”
“I bet he loved that.”
Rome smiled. “It was the best part of my day. I also told him if they didn’t keep up, they’d be left behind.”
“Most of that crap won’t make it through the first day,” Tairus observed. “What do they think this is, a picnic?”
“I assume you put them in the rear on purpose?” Quyloc asked.
Rome chuckled. He couldn’t believe how much better he felt, now that Quyloc was here. “I thought eating a little dust would help them learn some humility. You should have seen Atalafes when I told him that. I didn’t know a person could actually turn purple.”
“Are you okay now? Is the venom gone?” Rome and Quyloc were riding side by side, Qarath several miles behind them.
“Yeah.”
“How?”
“I saw the stablemaster bleed snake venom out of a horse. It gave me an idea. I went back to the Pente Akka last night.” Quyloc told him the rest of what happened.
“It attacked you?” Rome said in disbelief. “The more I hear about that place the worse it sounds. Are you sure you got it all?”
“I cauterized the wound with water from the river. I think that took care of i
t all.”
“I thought you said touching the water there nearly killed you last time.”
“It did.”
“So how come you were able to touch it this time?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m stronger now.”
“But now you’re done, right? You never have to go back there again?”
“I wish that were true.” Quyloc swatted at a horsefly that was buzzing around his horse. “But I think I have to go back.”
“Why?”
“The hunter has already almost trapped me twice. This last time it got me when I was sleeping. What’s it going to try next?”
“Maybe it’ll give up now.”
Quyloc gave him a dark look. “It’ll never give up. It will just try again and again and eventually it’ll get me.”
“So you’re going back and try and kill it.”
“What else can I do?”
“Do you have a plan?”
“Not yet. But I’m working on it.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“There is. But you’re not going to like it.”
“Name it. I’ll do anything.”
“If it traps me there, and I can’t get back, kill me.”
“Quyloc—”
“Promise me, Rome. You don’t know what it’s like there. I don’t want to be trapped there. Who knows how long that thing could keep me alive? Beyond that, I don’t want to be the one responsible for shredding the Veil.”
Rome took a deep breath. “I wish you’d never gone to that place.”
“I know how you feel, believe me. But we need this spear. I’m not sure yet if it will work, but I have an idea how I can use it on Kasai.”
“What is it?”
Quyloc shook his head. “Not yet. Let me think about it some more. I will tell you what I think we can do about King Perthen.” Quickly he outlined his plan.
Rome whistled when he was done. “Your spear will do that?” Quyloc nodded. “I think it’s a great plan. I have to confess, I’ve been worrying about what I was going to do about that old bastard. There’s no way he’s going to be reasonable.”
Thirty-eight
“I’m starving,” Donae said. It was afternoon and she and the other Tenders were riding with the army.
“You can’t be. You just ate.”
“It doesn’t feel that way. It feels like I haven’t eaten in days.”
Owina sighed. She knew how Donae felt. “It’s not you, it’s your sulbit. You know that, right? You’ve spent so much time lately melded with it that you’re having trouble distinguishing between what you are feeling and what it is feeling. Remember, the FirstMother warned us of this.”
“I know,” Donae said sullenly, “but I still feel hungry. When do you think we will be able to feed them?”
“Probably not until the end of the day. The macht wants to move fast.”
“I hope I can control it that long. It keeps trying to feed on my horse.”
“Be strong. You can do this. You’re in charge, not it.” Owina tried to sound confident, but the truth was that she was having the same difficulty and, looking around at the other Tenders, she could see that she was not the only one. Karyn’s face was screwed tight with concentration. Bronwyn was riding along with her eyes half closed and hadn't said a word for hours.
“Maybe I should let it have just a little from my horse,” Donae said. “Just to settle it down a little.”
“No,” Owina said sharply. “You know that’s a bad idea. You must never give in. The sulbit must always know you are in control.”
“Donae!”
The little woman looked up guiltily. “What?”
“I felt that!” Owina hissed. Just ahead, Bronwyn had come out of her contemplative state and was looking back. “I know what you’re doing!”
“I only took a little. I’m…I mean it’s so hungry.”
“It doesn’t matter how much you took. You can’t give in to it at all.” Owina was starting to wonder if the FirstMother had made a mistake, allowing Donae to accompany them on this march. She knew the FirstMother was desperate for as many Tenders as she could bring to the war, but Donae just wasn’t all that strong.
“I’m sorry,” Donae said mournfully. “It won’t happen again.”
Bronwyn reined her horse in close. “Did you do what I think you did?” Donae nodded. “If you do it again, I will report you to the FirstMother.”
“You wouldn’t really do that, would you?”
“I would and I will.”
Donae lowered her head.
By the time they stopped, a couple hours after dark, Owina was engaged in a constant battle with her sulbit. The creature was hungry and it never stopped trying to get her to feed it. By early afternoon it had attached itself to her wrist. Over and over her arm muscles twitched with the desire to lower her hand and press it to the horse’s neck. Eventually she had to give up holding the reins and ask the guard assigned to her to take them and lead her horse. Then she could focus completely on controlling her sulbit.
By late afternoon all the Tenders except Bronwyn and the FirstMother were having their horses led by the guards so they could focus on their sulbits. The horses grew increasingly skittish and one of the Tenders nearly fell off when her mount snorted and jumped suddenly. The guards were almost as nervous as the horses. Haris, the one leading Owina’s horse, rode as far from her as he could, holding onto the very end of the reins.
When the macht called a halt, Owina was so grateful she thought she would cry. Donae actually was crying, both arms clamped tightly across her chest.
The FirstMother turned her horse around to face them. She looked tired and her bald scalp was sunburned. “Let’s go feed them. Leave your horses with the guards. We don’t want the animals any more nervous than they already are.”
Wearily the Tenders dismounted, careful to keep their sulbits away from the horses. The guards led the horses away, the men just as eager as the animals to get away from the sulbits.
The Tenders followed the FirstMother back along the road toward the small herd of shatren the herders had driven along behind the army all day. All along both sides of the road the soldiers were making camp. Only a few were building fires. Most were just throwing their blankets down and lying down. The shatren were at the very rear of the army, already spread out and grazing beside the road.
“Bring us one,” the FirstMother told one of the herders. The man bowed and ran off, shouting to the others.
Soon he was back leading one of the shatren. He tried to hand the lead rope to the FirstMother, but she told him to keep hold of it. His eyes grew large and he stood back as far as he could while still holding onto the rope.
The Tenders crowded around the animal and put their hands on it. Their sulbits scurried down their arms and clamped onto the beast, which gave one startled bawl as they began to feed, then went quiet. The animal’s eyes glazed over and it began to shake. Once it went to its knees, the frightened herder let go of the lead rope and backed away, rubbing his arms.
In less than a minute the shatren was dead. Owina stood up slowly. Some of the stolen Song tingled within her and she felt surprisingly better. Most of her aches and all of her exhaustion were gone. She felt like she could get back on her horse and ride for hours more. It was clear the other Tenders felt the same. Donae was actually smiling.
Then she looked down at the dead shatren and a sense of guilt settled over her. Was this what she had become, killing in order to sustain herself? What had she come to, that killing could make her feel so good? How was she to reconcile this with the Tender oath to preserve all living things, especially since she was of the Arc of Animals?
As they walked back to where their guards were preparing their camp, she spoke of her guilt to Karyn.
“I feel the same way,” Karyn said, “but I think we need to look at it this way: people kill animals to eat them all the time so they can survive. How is what we did any different? At least the sh
atren did not suffer. It was less painful for the creature than a knife across its throat.”
Owina could not argue with her reasoning, but still she lay awake for some time that night, unable to completely shake the sense of guilt she felt.
“That was a rough day,” Rome said. “I haven’t felt this old in a long time.” He stretched and his back cracked. He and Tairus were sitting by a small fire on a flat spot on top of a small rise in the middle of the camp.
“You’re telling me,” Tairus replied with a groan. “I thought the horse was supposed to do all the work.”
“At least we made it almost as far as I thought we would. We’ll have to keep up this pace if we want to reach that first food cache in three days.”
“Let’s just hope it’s there,” Tairus said sourly, pulling off one of his boots and rubbing his foot. “If it’s not this is going to get a whole lot harder.”
“It’ll be there,” Rome said, more confidently than he felt. “There are enough villages and farms in the area and the men I sent out have enough coin to buy whatever they need.”
“You’re probably right. It’s the caches in Karthije territory that I should be worrying about.”
“That’s your problem, Tairus. You worry too much. We’ll cross that river when we get to it.”
“And you don’t worry enough. You know what a miserable bastard King Perthen is.”
“I know. But surely he has word of what Kasai is doing. Karthije is lots closer to Kasai’s army. That has to make some difference.”
“Keep telling yourself that. And while you’re at it, remind me what happened to the two emissaries you sent to him, you know, the ones that didn’t return?”
Rome sighed. “I know.”
“How are we going to handle him?”
“Quyloc and I have been talking. He has an idea.”
“You mind sharing it with me?”
“Not yet. We’re still working on it.”
“I hope it’s a good one. My money says we’re going to show up outside Karthije tired and awful hungry. There won’t be a lot of room for error.”
Guardians Watch Page 29