CHAPTER 27
While I'd been pretty confident in telling Seth that Dante had likely skipped town, I nonetheless stopped by his shop the next day. It had never been very prosperous looking to begin with, but now the signs of abandonment were clear. The neon PSYCHIC sign was gone. The blinds were also gone, showing a room even barer than before. The FOR LEASE sign on the door was probably the most telling clue that Dante was gone for good.
In the wake of what had happened with Seth, it was hard to know what to think about Dante. My heart almost didn't have the energy for it. I had cared about him, absolutely. He'd suited my decadent phase, and despite his blackened soul, there were parts of him that were likeable. And above all, it appeared that he'd cared about me, misguided or not. I wasn't happy about the deal he'd made with Grace, but I was glad he hadn't been there to face Jerome and Mei's punishment. No one deserved that, not even Dante. I hoped wherever he was, he'd try to start a new life-maybe one that could lighten his soul a little. I well knew, however, that humans with damned souls rarely recovered.
Later that evening, I drove over to Capitol Hill. Peter and Cody were hosting a cocktail party to celebrate Jerome's return, though I half-suspected they simply wanted to drink away the sorrows of losing the sun.
"How can we celebrate Jerome being back when he's not even here?" Tawny wanted to know. She was back to her normal, Amazonian blond self and was holding her martini glass in a precarious way. Peter couldn't take his eyes off it.
I was nursing a gimlet out of politeness. The vampires had gone out of their way to get Grey Goose and fresh lime, but truthfully, I was a little burned out on alcohol. It seemed like I'd been perpetually drunk these last four months. I was not burned out on cigarettes yet, but I was trying very hard to break the habit once more.
"Jerome's got plenty to keep himself busy," I said. "We're just drinking in his honor. "
"But he is staying, right?" asked Cody.
We all turned to Hugh. Like the rest of us, Hugh'd had his abilities restored, and I'd honestly expected him to be a lot happier having his imp vision back. Instead, he seemed very serious, and I could have sworn he was watching me when I wasn't looking.
"Yep. He and Mei schmoozed the corporate guy pretty good and pulled in enough favors to get backing from others. Cedric and Nanette both swore up and down that no one else was better qualified to run Seattle than him. "
"Nanette finally caved, huh?" I swirled the ice around in my glass. "Of course, knowing Jerome owes her now probably makes her feel secure in her territory. "
Cody shook his head. "Still. Grace went through an awful lot to try to pull this off, between the Canadians and all the wheeling and dealing. And Dante. " He shot me an apologetic look that I waved off.
"I don't know," said Peter. He finally seemed convinced that Tawny wasn't going to ruin his upholstery. "She's a middle management demon with so-so power. Doing what she did-seizing the opportunity when she thought Jerome looked weak-was probably the closest she'll ever get to ruling over an area like this. "
"What do you mean? Would she be stuck forever? Never have her own domain?" asked Tawny, frowning.
"She might have eventually gotten assigned control of some nonexistent town in middle America, but I doubt much more. " Hugh still looked oddly speculative. "Clearly, she didn't want to. Neither does Mei, from the looks of it. "
"So much for it being better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven," I said, pleased with my own wit. "Of course, I think we're going to see a lot more in Mei's career. She might be so-so in power, but she's got a plan. "
"Have you noticed how she's a lot less scary alone?" asked Cody.
"It was the matching clothes," said Peter sagely. "When they dressed alike, it was too much like those girls from The Shining . "
More laughter and conversation ensued, though I eventually grew quiet and simply listened. Maybe I could be the life of the party, like Seth had said, but this group could do okay without me. I took a certain amount of contentment by being back with them and having our lives returned to normal-such as they were. I could never be human again, but these were the people I wanted to be damned with.
At one point, I got up to trade my empty glass for water and discovered Hugh had followed me into the kitchen. He still looked troubled. The others were laughing and talking, providing cover for our conversation.
"What's going on?" I asked. "I thought you'd be happy. "
"I am, I am," he said. "Believe me, I am. God, that was miserable. "
I couldn't help a smile. Hugh had hit his stride with being a lesser immortal. He was past the novice stages of Cody and Tawny and could fully reap the benefits of his position. However, he wasn't old enough to have acquired all the jaded centuries Peter and I had. Out of all of us, I didn't doubt that Hugh had suffered the most.
"Then what's going on?"
He hesitated, and again, I was struck by how out of character he was behaving. "Georgina, has Seth done anything. . . bad lately? Rob a bank? Cheat on taxes?"
"Of course not," I said, more confused than ever.
"Has he. . . or well. . . did he do anything, uh, bad with you?"
To my chagrin, I blushed. You'd think nothing would make a succubus self-conscious, but I still tried to maintain that line between my private and business sex lives. My silent response was enough for Hugh.
"Fuck. "
"What?" I asked. "We did it when I was in stasis. I didn't take any of his energy. I didn't shorten his life. And we haven't done it since Jerome came back. It's over. He's back with Maddie. "
Hugh raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"I realized how impossible it was for us and convinced him to go back to her. I really laid on the guilt. " Just mentioning what had happened made me ache all over again.
"I'm sure you did," Hugh said dryly.
"What do you mean?"
"Georgina. . . " He sighed. "There's no easy way to explain this. When I first met Seth, his soul was like. . . a supernova. It lit up a room. That guy had such a generous spirit, it was insane. "
Had.
"And now?" The answer was slowly creeping in on me.
"Now, there's a shadow on him. A stain on his soul. He cheated on Maddie with you. . . and is back with her, keeping that from her. . . "
The room started swaying, and I forced myself to focus on Hugh. "What we did, it wasn't sleazy. We are. . . were. . . in love. It was sweet-that is, it meant something. "
"Maybe it did, sweetie. Maybe the planets aligned when you made love. But regardless of what happened between you, he wronged her-and he feels it now. That sin is darkening his soul. "
"How dark?" I asked, my voice almost a whisper now. "If he were a hit by a car right now. . . "
Hugh's face was both hard and sad. "He'd head right to Hell. "
"Oh my God. " I collapsed back against the counter. "I didn't think. . . didn't realize. . . "
Since I hadn't been a succubus, I hadn't been thinking like one. I hadn't worried about shortening his life or exhausting him because there was no need. While I'd known we were both deceiving Maddie and had felt a fair amount of guilt over it, I'd never considered it in terms of damnation. I'd turned off that part of my life, the part of being a succubus that counted and tallied souls-the main part of my job.
Which was stupid of me. Humans didn't need us to sin. They did it all the time on their own and did just as good a job-if not better-than we could. I didn't have to be a succubus to make Seth sin. I could have been any woman, any woman he'd had an affair with. Sin was subjective, too, and different people would feel it differently. For someone like Seth, doing what he did would leave a harsh mark-and me making him feel guilty about it hadn't helped.
"This is worse," I said. I laughed, but it was the kind of hysterical laughter that could segue to tears at any moment. "It would have been better if we'd had sex when we were dating. I'd have taken years off his life, but his soul w
ould have stayed pure-and that's what matters in the long run. Instead, I was so adamant about refusing to do it. . . and now look. Look what I did. "
Hugh caught my hand and squeezed it. "I'm sorry. "
"Is there. . . is there any way he can undo it?"
"You know the answer as well as me. Sure, he can eventually swing the pendulum the other way. But it's hard. Very hard. "
"He's a good person," I said stoutly.
"Maybe, but that may not be enough anymore. "
"He'd need a deal with God," I muttered.
I stared at the floor, studying the tiles absentmindedly. What had I done? How could I have been so stupid? Had I been so blinded by love and lust that I'd been oblivious to the principles that had dictated my immortal vocation these long centuries?
"Georgina," Hugh said hesitantly. I looked at him. "There's something else. . . just a heads up. You know this as well as I do. When upright people screw up like this. . . they do try to rebound in their way. The guilt's got to be eating him. People like that try to do things to make up for it. Rash things. Something tells me he'll be like that. "
"Thanks for the warning," I said. "Though I can't imagine he'd do something that could make this any worse. "
The imp cut me a look. "Sweetie, he's human. Don't underestimate him. "
Hugh was right.
The next day, I went to the condo builder's office and talked more in-depth with the real estate agent that handled their sales. We chatted for a while and talked numbers, though I still couldn't shake the feeling that I was doing this without thinking it through. The pictures were nice, the floor plan was nice, and the options were nice. Yet, I didn't know if this was just some impulsive reaction to the ups and downs in my life.
Then, when he took me to the unit itself and showed me the balcony, I knew. It was a beautiful day, one that wasn't true summer yet but could give us enough hope that winter was just about finished. Puget Sound was deep blue, and the downtown skyline gleamed in the sun against a cloudless sky. To the west, the Olympic Mountains were visible for the first time in over a month, their peaks still heavy with snow. As often happened with this kind of weather, people turned out in droves, treating it like it was high summer. Families came out, shorts came out. This part of Alki didn't have a true beach-that was at a park a little farther down-but the water was still just a stone's throw away from my building, separated only by the small road and narrow strip of grass. I watched the waves break against the shore and realized this was where I needed to be.
"I want to make an offer," I told him.
I knew Maddie would want to know, so I made sure she was the first one I told when I ended up back in Queen Anne later that night. It was early evening, my last day before returning to a real full-time schedule, and I swung by the store to catch her and tell her. Only, she sought me out first, with news of her own.
"Georgina!"
I'd barely entered when she grabbed my arm and pulled me off into the cookbooks. "Hey," I laughed. "Glad you're in a good mood. I've got news. "
"Me too!"
Her face was radiant, and after all that had happened, it made me happy to see her like this. I couldn't help a return grin. "What's up?"
She glanced around covertly, then lowered her voice. "You were right. "
"About what?"
"About Seth needing time-about him being preoccupied. "
Oh lord. He'd finally slept with her again, now that things had ended with us. I can't say I was happy to have this news delivered to me, but for her sake, I was at least glad she could stop worrying.
"Wow, that's great, Mad-"
"He was waiting to propose!"
She shot her hand up to my face so quickly that for half a moment, I thought she was going to punch me. But, no, there was no impact-unless you counted the brilliant glitter of the engagement ring dazzling my eyes.
"Oh my God. But it. . . it's so soon. . . "
"I know," she said, breathless from her excitement. "I can't believe it. And I mean, yeah, we've only been going out for about four months, but Seth says we can have a long engagement, that he just wanted to commit things between us. "
Of course he did. When upright people screw up like this. . . they do try to rebound in their way. The guilt's got to be eating him. People like that try to do things to make up for it. Rash things. How could I be surprised? I'd become a succubus because I'd cheated on my husband and been caught. I'd sold my soul in an effort to blot that act out, to make him and everyone else I knew forget me. Why was this any different?
"You don't think. . . " Maddie turned uneasy, once more seeking my approval and advice. "You don't think it's too fast, do you? Have I made a mistake? I mean, even if we wait awhile for the wedding. . . "
I kept smiling. "It's fine, Maddie. There's no time frame that's set for everyone. If it's what feels right to you, then you've got to do it. "
Her grin lit back up. "Oh, thank you. I'm so glad to hear you say that. I mean, I said yes, and I've been excited. . . I just didn't want it to seem like I was rushing in. " She glanced back down, admiring the ring. I realized something.
"It's a diamond. "
She gave me a curious look. "Of course. Why wouldn't it be? Most engagement rings are. "
Last year, I'd teased Seth about getting married, and he'd said that if he ever did, he'd give his bride-to-be a ruby because he thought diamonds were ordinary, and getting married was extraordinary.
I stared into the stone's glittering facets, puzzled. "Did you pick it out? Had you told him you wanted a diamond?"
"Nope. It had never come up. He just got it for me. Why?"
I shook my head and tried to look happy for her. "No reason. It's beautiful. Congratulations. " I turned to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow. "
"Georgina, wait. "
I paused and looked back.
"What was your news?"
"Wh-oh. Yeah. I'm buying the place in Alki. "
"Seriously?" I swear, she almost seemed more excited about that than the engagement. "When will it be done?"
"July. "
"Oh, wow. That's great. You could have such great summer parties. "
"Yep. Let's hope it gets finished on time. "
She sighed happily and gave me a quick hug. "Isn't this a great day? Good news for both of us. "
"Yeah," I agreed. "Great. "
I walked home, too stunned over the engagement news to process it much. Considering Hugh's prediction, there wasn't much to process. I'd convinced Seth that he and I were a fantasy, that he needed to settle into reality and take what good he had with Maddie. Seth had believed me and tried to make it up to her-make it up to himself, even-with this hasty engagement. He was not a rash person usually, but the extreme circumstances had turned him into one.
My phone rang about half a block from the store. I could recognize Vancouver's area code by now, but I didn't know the number. For all I knew, Evan wanted me to smuggle them some spray paint across the border. To my relief, it was Kristin.
"Hey," I said. "How's it going?"
"Fine. Well, better than fine. Great actually. " There were a few awkward seconds of silence. "Me and Cedric. . . we're. . . "
The first spark of enthusiasm I'd felt in a while leapt up in me. "Really? You guys are a. . . thing?"
"Yeah. " There was wonder in her voice, like she could hardly believe it. "He told me that you were the one who said that he should go out with me. "
"Oh, well. I. . . just suggested he was looking in the wrong places. "
"Georgina, there is no way I can thank you enough for this. " Her voice was brimming with emotion, something I wouldn't have thought possible of the businesslike imp. "This is. . . I've wanted this for so long. Loved him for so long. And he never noticed me until you made him just pause and look. That's exactly how he said it too. That he'd been so busy chasing everything else that he'd never seen what was in front of him. "
She laughed. "Most would say us damned souls don't deserve anything. "
"We're like anyone else, deserving both good and bad. I'm not sure being damned has anything to do with it. "
She was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke again, her voice was low, almost hard to hear. I actually stopped walking and stepped off down a side street to get away from the din of traffic.
"It's funny you mention that," she said slowly. "Because. . . well, I did something for you. " I suddenly had an image of Tim Horton's donuts showing up on my doorstep.
"Er, that's really not necessary. I didn't do that much. "
"You did, though. To me, at least. And so. . . I wanted to do something just as big for you. I, uh, went and looked at your contract. "
I caught my breath. "What?"
"We've had a lot of paperwork to file, and I managed to work in a corporate trip. "
"Corporate trip" was a nice way of saying she'd visited the inner offices of Hell.
"Kristin. . . if you'd been caught. . . "
"I wasn't," she said proudly. "And I found your contract and read it. "
I'd come to a complete stop now. The world around me didn't exist. "And?"
"And. . . nothing. "
"What do you mean nothing?"
"I mean, there's nothing wrong with the contract. I went over and over it. Everything's in order. "
"It can't be! Niphon was trying so hard to mess with me. . . to get me recalled. Hugh was certain it meant he was trying to shift attention from the contract. "
"I don't know about any of that," said Kristin, sounding truly sympathetic. "All I know is what I read. You sold your soul and took on standard succubus servitude in exchange for every mortal you knew forgetting who you were. That sound right?"
"Yeah. . . "
"That's what it said. All the language was exactly as it should be. "
I didn't really have any response, so I gave none.
"Georgina, are you still there?"
"Yeah. . . I'm sorry. I just thought. . . I'd been so certain. . . " It had been a foolish hope, that maybe somewhere there was a loophole for me. But then, I seemed to fall for those things all the time, just like I had with Nyx's dream and the impossible chance of getting pregnant while in stasis. I was as naïve as Dante had said. "Thanks. I really appreciate you looking. "
"I'm sorry you didn't get what you wanted. If there's anything else I can do for you-that doesn't involve breaking into records-let me know. "
"Thanks. I will. "
We disconnected, and I stared bleakly at my surroundings, at the quiet residential block I'd stepped off onto. "There is no way," I said out loud, "that this day can get any worse. "
A rustle behind me made me jump, and I spun around. I had thought I was alone and now felt like an idiot getting caught talking to myself. I saw no one, though. Then, a bush by the sidewalk twitched a little. I took a few steps toward it and knelt down. Yellow eyes peered out at me, followed by a piteous meow. I made the clicking sound that's universal to cat owners, and after a few moments, my observer emerged.
It was a cat, a very scraggly one-and a cat I was pretty sure I'd seen before. It was smaller than Aubrey, maybe younger, and I could see its ribs poking out underneath the fur, which was matted and dirty. When I petted the cat's head, I noticed a dry texture to the fur that often indicated fleas. The cat seemed unsure of me-but not enough that it ran away. It mostly seemed curious for now, like it was trying to figure me out-and maybe score some food.
Which was fine, because I was trying to figure it out too. Clearly, this cat had no owner, or if it did, that ownership needed to be revoked. I studied its yellow eyes and every frail line of its body. The cat looked so different and yet. . . I was certain it was the one. And in a musing that was worthy of Carter, I suddenly wondered if the universe might not be done with me after all.
I let the cat sniff my hand a bit longer, and then I reached out and picked it up. It was a she. She didn't fight me as I held her to my chest and walked home. In fact, she started purring. Maybe she knew me. Maybe she was just weary of fighting all the time too.
When I shouldered open my door, Aubrey's head immediately jerked up from where she'd been napping. She made no noise, but all the fur on her back stood on end as she studied our new visitor with narrowed eyes. Roman, lying on the couch as usual, also studied us. He looked at the cat, taking in her orange and brown patched coat. Then, he looked up and met my eyes. I'm not sure what he saw, but it made him smile.
"Let me guess. That's a tortie. "
"Yes," I agreed. "This is a tortie. "
Succubus Heat Page 27