“You don’t have to explain Nikki,” he said against my mouth. “I love you.”
I didn’t say I love you back I just hugged him, wondering if I did love him still.
The ride back home from the shooting range was relatively quiet no surprise there. I actually welcomed the silence still reeling from what took place. I overheard Jack tell Anthony how the last fifteen minutes of my session was like watching my father. Fifteen minutes was all it took to gain the respect of the President of Satan’s Knights affirming that I was, in fact, my father’s prodigy.
I sat in the passenger seat of the truck staring at my hands. I could still feel the gun in them the adrenaline was still coursing through my veins. I didn’t know what to think about what had happened back there. It was like some higher force overcame me almost like a natural instinct. It was scary to know that something I didn’t think I was capable of came so easy to me.
“Victor told me you and Nikki went out last night,” Anthony said shocking the hell out of me and pulling me away from my darkened thoughts. It took me a moment to process that he had actually initiated a conversation.
“Yeah, we went out for a few drinks.”
“Did you learn anything?” he asked eye on the road ahead of him. He was like a goddamn statue.
Were these people kidding me? They made it like they were training me to be a soldier fighting in a cold war.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I suppose so. We weren’t there very long before Nikki wanted to leave.”
“Nikki wanted to leave?” he let it stir for a moment. “That’s unusual.”
“She seemed tired of it all,” I said, remembering that she had been upset with the drug scene. “There were a lot of drugs in there.”
He gripped the steering wheel tightly while stealing a quick glance in my direction. “Anyone approach either of you?”
I didn’t even know what he meant by that. “Excuse me?”
“Did someone approach you to buy?” he asked sounding impatient.
“No,” I shook my head. “Nikki went to the bathroom and ran into some girl who was ripping lines. She asked Nikki if she wanted any but we left after that,” I paused, watching as his grip tightened even more. “She was upset when we left. She asked me if I was into drugs and claimed that she was dead against the whole drug thing because of what happened between you and Adrianna.”
“She told you?”
He almost came to a complete stop which was fucking scary as shit since we were on the Garden State Parkway. The cars behind us sounded their horns. We were going to fucking crash all because I mentioned Adrianna. This day was shaping up to be a nightmare. First, I have an emotional meltdown and now I was going to crash talk about walking in my parent’s footsteps.
“Jesus Christ! No, she didn’t tell me. Ant either pull the fucking car over or drive the damn thing!” I shouted. A Mack truck honked its horn as it passed us the trucker shouting obscenities out his window as he drove alongside us. Anthony slowly veered the car onto the shoulder.
He climbed out of the car slamming the door behind him before punching the roof of the car. Talk about a loose cannon that man needed a fucking leash or something. I rolled my eyes. Against my better judgment, I followed him out of the car. I should’ve let the animal throw a tantrum on the side of the road. I could’ve made a video and that shit would’ve gone viral, but instead, my curiosity got the best of me and I decided it was now or never. If I wanted to know, what the hell had gone on between him and A now was the time to do it.
“Mind cluing me in on why I was almost road kill?” I asked nonchalantly as I leaned against the car.
“No,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Well, that’s too fucking bad because I’m not getting back in that car with you until you start talking,” he raised an eyebrow, looking at me. He was probably going to leave my ass on the side of the road.
“It’s none of your business,” he growled.
“No, I suppose it’s not but be a friend I lost my shit in the shooting range and could use a distraction,” I said granting him a hopeful glance.
“I don’t give a fuck what she told you anyway,” he said getting in my face.
I raised a single eyebrow as I stared into his cold eyes. “Getting pretty bent out of shape for someone who doesn’t give a fuck.”
“You looking to get your teeth knocked out Mike?” he spat through clenched teeth. His fists curled at his sides.
“It would give me an excuse to get those veneer’s I’ve been wanting,” I rolled my eyes and pushed against his bulky chest. He didn’t budge. I kicked off the car and used both my hands to this time. I don’t know if he just gave up or if I actually succeeded in moving the beast. I was going to go with the latter I could use the boost of confidence. I wiped my hands on my jeans before crossing my arms against my chest and showing Anthony who was the boss. Or the boss in training. I was hightailing it to the nearest liquor store if I ever made it home.
Anthony bent his head, releasing an exasperated breath. I watched him carefully his shoulders slumped in defeat as if he was surrendering in a war. He lifted his head slightly to meet my cautious stare.
“There was a time when you and I would tell each other everything,” I tread lightly gauging his reaction. He didn’t appear so vicious anymore. “I’m pretty sure I told you the first time I rubbed one out.”
“Mike…,” he shook his head. “Let’s not go there, yeah?”
“The point is we aren’t strangers Ant. I used to be your best friend. It wasn’t my choice to end our friendship. My old man died and well, I was fucked, I’m still fucked. Probably even more now than ever before, but I’m here now,” he just stared at me blankly. I don’t know what I was expecting, but maybe a nod something just to let me know I wasn’t standing on the side of a highway trying to be a good friend for no fucking reason.
“I was there. I watched as you and A danced around one another for years and while we were real young, I was still able to see that there was something between the two of you. I thought we were too young for that shit, but I knew it was inevitable. I even wondered if I would be a third wheel when it happened,” I paused watching as he swallowed. His eyes drifted towards the highway, but he didn’t look like he was going to shoot me so I continued, “I would think about you guys every now and then. For fuck’s sake, I remember you telling me you had taken her virginity,” he shoved his hands into his pocket, his head miles away as I spoke. It was as if my words were bringing him back to a different place and time. “You were so fucking scared that Victor was going to find out,” I held back my chuckle reminiscing of a time when he dragged me all over Brooklyn trying to buy a bulletproof vest with the money he had won in a game of C-low.
“Anyhow, I come back and I’m completely dumb fucked because I would’ve sworn on my old man that you two would’ve been married with a kid or two but instead you look like you hate one another.”
Anthony turned his gaze to me abruptly. “I don’t hate her. I could never hate her that woman owns me,” he combed his fingers through his hair roughly.
“What happened to the two of you?” I asked, feeling sorry for him. It was so evident that he loved her still, his love burning in his somber eyes.
“I fucked up Mike,” he shook his head. “When you have everything, you have everything to lose and that’s exactly what I did. I lost everything because I was a greedy fuck. I had the most beautiful, fun loving girl who looked at me as if I was the answer to all her dreams and all I gave a fuck about was climbing the ladder of power,” he laughed bitterly at himself. “I like to blame Vic but the truth is it was all my fault,” he patted my shoulder. “It’s a long story man, but you’re right, we probably would’ve been married and Luca would’ve been mine,” he closed his eyes for a moment before sighing heavily. “Thanks for being a friend.”
I didn’t push him anymore feeling guilty that I had ripped open his wounds, allowing all the pain he harbored to break fr
ee. There was something missing and something inside me told me that whatever it was ran deep that this missing piece of the puzzle was the main artery that all the valves connected to.
He stepped around me climbing into the driver’s seat of his truck. I followed his lead making myself comfortable in the passenger seat securing my seatbelt in case we had any other emotional breakdowns and prayed for this day to end.
Chapter Nine
Mondays were my day off the salon was closed so I usually used the day to take care of my errands. However today I didn’t even want to move from the couch. Rico surprised me last night, taking me to my favorite sushi restaurant and a movie afterward. He was really trying I’ll give him that. He apologized to me again at dinner even tried to embrace my friendship with Mikey asking me if I thought he was grasping the whole nightlife scene. He offered to talk to him if I thought it would help him. Rico was a prominent figure in the club scene headlining the hottest clubs. He was even offered a gig at this year’s upcoming music conference in Miami so any insight he could provide Mikey would probably be helpful. I thanked him for the offer, but we both knew that I wouldn’t mention it to Mikey. He would never accept Rico’s help.
I tried to enjoy Rico’s efforts tried to be the girl that once was completely taken by the man in front of me, but in the back of my head, I kept wondering what Mikey was up to. My fingers betrayed me itching to text or call him. I actually had to turn my phone off to stop myself. After the movie, we went back to Rico’s apartment he had my favorite wine chilling in hopes that our dry spell would be rectified. He started kissing me and I kissed him back more out of habit than out of lust. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I wanted sex. I craved it but I couldn’t get into it. His mouth traveled down my neck, his hands were everywhere I closed my eyes, trying desperately to get into the moment working my hands down his body when I felt him suck on my neck his teeth grazing my delicate skin branding me.
Suddenly I snapped, pushing him off me with all my strength. His words from earlier ringing in my ears telling me he claimed me as his. Now he thinks he can mark me like a dog pissing on his territory. Hell. Fucking. No. He tried to reel me back in telling me that I was over-thinking things he wasn’t marking me. Bullshit! His patience teetered, and he told me to go get my head fucked. Real nice Rico that’s the way to a woman’s heart. I slammed the door in his fucking face and haven’t spoken to him since.
So now I’m sitting on my parents’ couch watching daytime television wondering if I did over think it because my head was all over the place. It wasn’t like it was the first time Rico gave me a hickey, in fact, it was in one of the less offensive places than where he usually likes to leave them. I sometimes find myself blushing in the shower when I see a trail of love bites down the inside of my thighs reminding me all the ways his mouth traveled up and down bringing me pleasure.
My phone chimed alerting me of a text message.
Mikey: Hey. What are you up to?
I bit my lower lip nervously contemplating whether I should answer. I think I’m spending too much time with him and the more time I spend with Mikey the more I want him the more I think of him. For someone who is so against drugs and despises the power of addiction, I am becoming an addict and my drug of choice is Mikey. Point proven as my fingers work to respond to his text because heaven forbid I ignore him. Nope. I need my fix.
Me: It’s my day off so I’m pretty swamped with errands.
Lies. I’m not strong enough to pretend I never received the text and I concede that I’ll engage in conversation but I won’t hang out with him. I won’t make myself available to see him because seeing him will just confuse me more. I needed to put my foot down and in some ways Rico was right, I needed to get my head straight and that meant not letting Mikey consume it twenty-four seven.
Mikey: I wanted to see you.
No! No! No! I won’t do it. It’s time to practice self-control fuck at this point it’s more like self-preservation.
Me: Sorry babe. No can do.
Shit! I shouldn’t have typed babe. Too late, already sent the goddamn message. Oh my god! My fingers had a mind of their own as they drafted another text message. I was possessed that was my story, and I was sticking with it. Yep, that’s it, I thought as I pressed send again.
Me: Why, what are your plans?
I threw my phone across the room as if it was on fire begging for the insanity to end. I covered my face with my hands. I should’ve ignored him.
Chime.
I groaned miserably.
Chime.
Go away, Mikey.
I chewed mercilessly on my nails as I stared at the phone laying on the floor across the living room offensively singing. I’m not going to do it. I don’t care what his plans are hopefully they involved a plane ride to Tahiti. So why was I crawling across the floor to retrieve my phone? Because I was fucked up, and it was all Mikey’s fault. It was his dark, mysterious eyes that showed traces of vulnerability. It was his lips and how they always seemed so inviting. It was his unruly hair that I wanted to run my fingers through, tugging on the ends as my body arched inviting him to do all sorts of wicked things to me. Take me!
Mikey: You suck. (Not really, but if you want to change that I’m sure I could do something to help)
Mikey: I can’t believe you are going to subject me to an afternoon of torture with Jimmy Gold.
Mikey: So much for friends. You threw me to the wolves. I’m disappointed Princess.
Poor Mikey. I could only imagine what my father had him doing. The fact that Jimmy was his chaperone didn’t sound very promising.
Me: Sorry. Jimmy’s not that bad. Try to ignore him.
Mikey hated Jimmy. He was the most colorful of my dad’s associates. He wasn’t really a bad guy he was an acquired taste being that he was eccentric and completely off the wall. Mikey’s head would be spinning in an hour.
I stared at my phone waiting for Mikey to respond, but he never did. I should’ve been relieved. It was what I had wanted right? I wanted to distance myself. I needed to. So why was I dialing my dad’s number with every intention of getting him to tell me where Mikey and Jimmy were headed? I wasn’t going to show up there. No, I was just curious is all. Just curious.
I remember as a kid going with my dad to Castle Clothes on 18th Avenue anytime he wanted a new suit or some new slacks. My old man never shopped in a department store nor did he have my mom buy his clothes when she went shopping every suit or pair of pants he owned were hand tailored by the master tailor in this little shop. He would spend hours being fitted for whatever it was, he was purchasing making sure if fit him just so. Then the salesman would have a selection of tailored dress shirts displayed for him, accompanied with matching ties and handkerchiefs. The days my father dressed casually he still wore a pair of tailored slacks a pullover shirt and his leather jacket.
It was an eerie feeling walking back into Castle Clothes without my father and an even stranger feeling standing in front of the mirror as the tailor took my measurements much the same way I used to watch him measure my dad. These last few days felt like an out-of-body experience. It felt as if someone had pressed the pause button on my own life and took me back in time to relive my father’s life. That’s why I had reached out to Nikki today. I needed her to bring me back to reality and being with her made me feel like Mikey and not so much like Val.
“Stand up straight kid,” Jimmy Gold said, his eyes meeting mine in the mirror. “And don’t look so fucking miserable will you,” he shook his head disgusted. “The suit doesn’t make the man, the man makes the suit, and a suit is only as good as the man who wears it.”
I rolled my eyes did he really think I was about to take fashion advice from a man wearing pinstripe pants a guinea tee and a mink coat?
“I’m not really a suit kind of guy,” I said grumpily as I spread my arms so the ninety-year-old man could measure me. It was pretty amusing to think this little Italian man was going to handcraft my suits at his
age.
“Yeah, well jeans and a T-shirt won’t do anymore,” Jimmy proceeded to ramble. “Besides, you look pretty spiffy in a suit. You had all the ladies flocking to you at your mama’s funeral.”
“They were offering their condolences,” I bit back. He really was a fucking jackass.
“I wish some of them would console me if you know what I mean,” he winked and offered me his signature gold tooth grin.
My hands fell back down to my sides and I stepped off the elevated step that I had been standing on so that the tailor could do his job and made my way over to Jimmy.
“Yeah? Your mother is still alive, isn’t she? Lives all nice and peaceful in a nursing home that you visit once or twice a year no? Maybe you should shut the fuck up and be grateful that at your age, you still have your mother,” I watched as his grin faltered and he stared at me speechless. It was a fucking miracle the bastard shut his mouth. I turned to the tailor. “I need a break.”
The old man nodded sympathetically before he scowled at Jimmy. I made my way to the front of the store pulled open the front door, thankful to escape Jimmy even if it was just for a few moments. That guy got under my skin like nobody’s business. I greedily breathed in the fresh air running my fingers through my messy hair and told myself the fitting was almost over. I would only have to endure this asshole’s company for a little longer.
“Shouldn’t you be inside?” I heard her sweet and sassy voice before I actually saw her. I turned around, and it was my savior. My Nikki sweeping in just when I needed her. She was like my guardian angel or some shit.
The Tempted Series: Collectors Edition Page 10