I turned to my mother. “Why did you hit him a frying pan?”
Her eyes widened with fury causing me to take a step back from her.
“Why did I hit him with a frying pan?” she asked incredulously.
“I’m sorry what should I have done when a man looking the way he looks, kicks in my door and orders me to pack a bag for me and the kid because he’s taking us away? Should I have put on a pot of coffee and asked him if he liked it black or with a fucking spot of cream?” She reached forward and smacked me upside my head, just like she used to when I was a kid that refused to listen.
“I take my coffee light and sweet,” Riggs added.
I looked over my mother’s shoulder toward Riggs and shook my head. “You better quit while you’re ahead.”
“And you, Anthony Joseph Bianci, better start explaining!” My mother said, causing me to cringe at the use of my full name. She took Luca from my arms and positioned the toddler on her hip. “This poor boy had to be woken in middle of the night by the leather clad joker!”
“I don’t think she likes me very much,” Riggs said, scratching the top of his hat.
“That’s the first intelligent thing you’ve said since you barged into my home!” She spat.
“Can you please keep your voice down?” I said. “Adrianna’s sleeping, and she’s had a rough night.”
I watched my mother’s eyes scan the length of me.
“Yeah, I bet,” she said, her eyes working their way back to my face as they traveled up my bare chest.
“Button your fly Anthony,” she rolled her eyes as she walked past me.
I looked back at Riggs.
“Did you bring us clothes?”
“Yeah, I threw whatever I saw lying around into a bag.” He bent down, picked up the duffel bag, and handed it to me. “Well, aren’t you going to invite me in? I could use a cup of coffee and a place to hang my hat.” He questioned, pulling off his baseball hat and shoving it against my chest.
“Thanks, but I’ve got it from here,” I responded, taking the hat and wondering why he was still here to begin with.
“Yeah, I’m sure you do but the Bulldog told me to stay here and keep an eye out until he could come here himself. I’m not looking for another black eye so…how about that cup of coffee?”
I sighed. “Fine, the kitchen is to the left, just go in there, and stay out of my mother’s way.”
“Shit man you don’t have to tell me twice,” he agreed, closing the door behind him and headed towards the kitchen mumbling under his breath. “Crazy ass mobsters and their mama’s, yet bikers are the ones that get a bad rap.”
“I heard that,” I called out to him but he didn’t acknowledge me, instead finding his way to the kitchen. I huffed out a breath stepped into the living room. Adrianna was sitting up, holding Luca tightly to her chest showering his face with kisses.
“Someone missed his mama,” My mom said smiling. The crazy gleam in her eyes seemed to have disappeared as she sat on the couch watching Adrianna interact with her son.
“I missed you so much my boy,” Adrianna murmured against Luca’s forehead. “Was he a good boy?”
“An angel,” she said, staring at Adrianna then diverting her eyes. “You want to tell me what the hell is going on?”
My eyes wandered to Adrianna’s looking for some sort of approval. She nodded her head, giving me permission to enlighten my mother on why she and Luca were here. She slowly stood with the baby in her arms. “I’m going to bring him into one of the bedrooms and put him down.”
“Good idea, he’s exhausted,” my mother agreed.
Adrianna nodded before walking towards me, rising on her tiptoes to press her lips to mine.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“Say night, night to Anthony,” she told her son.
“Night!” Luca said, extending his hands to me. I leaned forward and he wrapped his arms around my neck giving me the best hug I had ever received.
“Sleep tight kid,” I whispered, ruffling the top of his head. “When you get up from your nap I’ll play with you.” I promised with a smile before diverting my eyes back to his mother.
“You okay?”
She nodded, tightening her hold on her baby. “I’m better now.”
I watched her walk down the narrow hallway into one of the bedrooms and close the door behind her.
“Anthony,” my mother commanded, causing me to turn around and look her in the eye. “Are you in trouble again?”
Frustrated, I blew out a breath, knowing there was no way around it, I had no choice but to explain our situation to my mother. I took a seat next to her trying to decide where to begin and how much I should divulge to her.
“Someone declared war on Victor last night,” I finally said.
“At the grand opening?”
I nodded, lifting my head and staring into my mother’s eyes. I never talked about the things I did, she knew what I was and hated it. I never thought she needed to hear me speak the words, knowing she didn’t want to hear them. After all, no mother wants to know her son is deeply involved with the mob. I’m sure she didn’t want to hear what I was about to tell her.
“Gunfire broke out all over the club, I don’t even know who survived and who didn’t,” I said honestly, watching as she brought her hand to her mouth to mask the gasp that sounded from her lips. “They were everywhere, probably there the whole night pretending to be patrons and none of us noticed.”
“Oh my God,” she whispered.
“I was with Adrianna when it started and I left her hiding under a table to see what was going on. I got Mikey and Nikki out of the club and sent them with my friend Jack. He’s Rigg’s boss, the president of a motor cycle club that is an ally of Vic’s,” I explained. “Victor asked Satan’s Knights to be on call in case of any incidentals but I don’t think he ever expected a massacre at his doorstep.”
I sighed, running my fingers across the stubble that lined my jaw. “Anyway, by the time I got them out of Temptations and went back to get Adrianna she was in the middle of the dance floor searching for her sister. She didn’t know that I was getting Nikki and Mike out of Temptations and she was worried something had happened to her sister. She had taken a gun off one of the guys trying to shoot Vic and I told her to hang onto it. We were in the thick of the gunfire, Vic and Jimmy were going off against a bunch of guys ambushing them. I knew that if I was going to get her out of there it was best if she had protection.”
My mother looked at me horrified and I had to look away from her. “At least I thought it was for her own good. I should’ve taken the gun from her. She has never so much as held a gun before, let alone fire one,” I glanced down at my hands. “We were making our way through the club when Rico, Nikki’s boyfriend, stopped us.” I lifted my head, turning it slightly and stared at my mother. “I didn’t realize he was dirty, thought he was just a cocky kid who was passing time with Nikki. It never dawned on me he was playing, playing Vic, hell he played all of us. He aimed his gun at her, told me he was going to kill her if I didn’t put down my weapon. I was carrying two guns, I dropped them, told her to run, to leave me, and get the hell out of there.”
“She didn’t listen,” my mother said softly.
“No, she didn’t,” I replied swallowing hard. “She started to but then turned around and she snapped. She saw him holding a gun to my head, remembered that she had taken the gun off the dead guy and that it was still in her hand. She lifted it and shot Rico.”
“Oh my God, Anthony! Do you hear yourself? Are you listening to what you are saying? There was a man holding a gun to your head!” She leaned close, reached for my cheek, and turned my face, forcing me to meet her tearful gaze. “Adrianna shot someone. Is he dead?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
She shook her head as tears fell from her eyes. “Is this the life you want? When are you going to wake up for God’s sake? The woman you love just shot a man because he was going to kill you.
What is it going to take you to realize you can’t keep living this life? You’re going to wind up dead and you are going to destroy that young woman,” she yelled shaking her head is disgust. “You could have such a beautiful life. That woman loves you so damn much and that boy…he’s so precious you should be counting your blessings not pissing them away.”
“Maria stop!” Adrianna shouted, making her way into the living room. I lifted my head and saw that Adrianna was staring at my mother. “Stop blaming him for what I did.”
“I’m not blaming him, Adrianna. I want him to wake up before it’s too late and I’m sure you want the same thing.” She looked back at me. “All I ever wanted for you is to be happy. I prayed every night you would come home and realize that you were so much better than this life you chose for yourself.”
I kept my eyes on Adrianna as my mother cried beside me. I expected her to look at me with the same look of disappointment my mother’s eyes held but when she finally glanced at me, they were hopeful.
“You should’ve taken that bankbook and run the hell away from New York,” my mother continued, pointing at Adrianna. “And you should’ve forced him to. The three of you could’ve been on your way to a nice, safe, happy life. But no … you needed to stick it to Vic because he forced you into that sentence, and what’s this biker gang that your friends with? One group of criminals wasn’t enough for you, you had to go pick up another?” She threw her hands in the air. “What’s wrong with cops? Firemen? You could hang out at New Utrecht High School, all the garbage men in the neighborhood play basketball on Sundays over there. You should go make some new friends.”
I think it was safe to say all the woman in my life were crying out, in one way or another, begging for me to see the light and change my life. I looked from my mother to Adrianna, debating on whether I should tell them that the decision had already been made. Riggs walked into the living room interrupting my thoughts.
“Hey Cugine, you expecting anyone in a black Escalade?” he asked over his shoulder as he walked straight to the front door, pulling his knife from the utility belt he was wearing.
“Does everyone you know carry a weapon?” My mother asked.
He pulled open the door with one hand, holding the knife with the other and greeted our guest.
“Shit,” he said, putting down his knife as Jimmy stepped inside, aiming a gun at Riggs head. “This gig just keeps getting worse and worse.”
Victor stepped around Jimmy and Riggs and walked into the house, his eyes scanning the room before settling on Adrianna. He closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God, you’re okay,” he whispered, his haggard body crossed the room and pulled her into his arms.
Adrianna remained quiet, allowing her father to hug her but didn’t return the gesture, just remaining still in his arms. After a few more moments, he pulled back but held onto her hand as he turned and faced me. “Thank you for getting her out of there,” he glanced at my mother and smiled at her. “Maria, always nice to see you.”
“Fuck you Victor.”
“I wouldn’t mess with her Mr. Soprano,” Riggs offered. “She’s not as nice as she looks.” Jimmy hovered over him, pressing the gun to his temple.
“Did I say you could speak?”
“I see you still harbor some hate for me,” Victor said, sighing.
“Hate you? You think I hate you?” My mother asked as she stood up and closed the distance between her and Victor. “I despise you for what you’ve done to our children,” she nodded towards Adrianna. “You didn’t only ruin my son’s life, but you ruined own daughter’s life too. How do you live with yourself?”
“Ma, enough!” I shouted. There was no need for this right now, she had years to speak her mind. I diverted my eyes towards Victor. “You going to tell us what the fuck happened last night or what?” I asked impatiently.
“Right now, I’m going to ask you all to clear the room so I can have a word with my daughter. You and I will talk but right now the one I’m interested in is Adrianna.”
“You heard the man, everyone clear out,” Jimmy instructed.
I stared at Victor for a moment, it was on the tip of my tongue to tell him he was a little late on playing the role of the doting dad but I kept my mouth shut for the sake of Adrianna.
I walked over to Adrianna, brushed her hair away from her face, and peered down into her eyes. “I’ll be right in the next room,” she nodded, reaching up and pressing her lips to mine.
“I’ll be fine,” she whispered.
I wasn’t so sure of that.
Chapter Thirty
2015
I sat on the couch silently, twisting the belt of my robe around my fingers as my father stared at me. He sighed, reaching for my hand, causing me to glance down in wonder at our fingers as they laced together. I didn’t remember the last time I held his hand or even what it was like to be comforted by my father. I lifted my head and met his worried gaze.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered hoarsely.
They were two words, two simple words, but they were the two words that held so much history for a father and a daughter. At least, this father and this daughter. I had spent a good part of my life wishing for my father to apologize to me, to own the horrible truth of what his actions have done. I gave up a long time ago, coming to peace with the fact I’d probably never hear an apology come from his lips. My father was a harsh man, it was a hard pill to swallow because for the first decade of my life my dad was my hero. He had been my best friend. When our relationship became strained, I started to doubt the love my father had for me, thinking every tender moment we shared was a farce. I even started to believe that the bond we had was something I had dreamt in my head.
His words both shocked and confused me equally, being as I wasn’t sure what he was sorry for. I chose to ignore his apology because Victor Pastore was never truly sorry for anything, another realization that came, as I grew older. Maybe that’s what helped me get over the lack of apologies and realize I didn’t even want one anymore.
“Do you remember our summers here in this house?” I asked, looking over at the flames crawling up the walls of the fireplace.
“Vaguely,” he admitted.
“I do. I remember every single one.” It was sad that he didn’t remember the good times we shared as family, or maybe it was sad that that’s all I held on to.
“It was a long time ago,” he said softly as he peeled his eyes away from me and looked down.
“Yes.” I agreed, “Mom used to bring us up during the week with Aunt Gina and Nana and you would meet us on the weekends.” I looked over at my dad and studied his profile. When had he gotten so old? It shamed me to think I hadn’t been paying attention to him. Some people get lines on their face from laughing and living but the lines on my dad’s face weren’t caused by any of that. I held my memories of this house so close because those were the times I remembered my dad happy, laughing and being carefree.
“You used to let me bury you in the sand,” I whispered, “You taught me how to swim and not to be afraid of the ocean. We would sit in the sand and build the biggest sand castles. You used to lift me in the air and spin me around until my belly hurt from laughing so hard.”
“Adrianna…,” he started.
“When did you stop loving me, dad?” I asked. His head snapped up, turned, and set his eyes on mine.
“What? How could you even ask me that question?” He questioned, swallowing hard and squeezing my hand as his eyes stared into mine.
“I love you more than anything in this world.”
I wish I believed you.
“Adrianna, look at me, listen to what I’m saying to you. I have always loved you. You and your sister are my whole heart.” His words sounded desperate as he pleaded for me to trust him, seeing the doubt reflected in my eyes.
“I know when it changed for me,” I started. “I know when you became my enemy and not my hero.” If he cared then my words would hurt him. They’d gut h
im the way every single one of his actions have affected me. “It was the moment I realized how feared you were and how people treated me differently because I was your daughter. It didn’t matter much when I was younger because you were always there to soften the blow. I didn’t care how people treated me or what their thoughts were about me because you were my dad and you loved me. You loved me so much. You were the most important person in my life and as long as I had you, I didn’t care about having anyone else.”
“Until someone else loved you and you loved him more than you loved me,” he whispered.
“You didn’t have to change. It was never a competition, dad. You didn’t give me a chance to love you both. You made me choose, and you made the choice easy for me because of all the things you did to keep me away from him.”
“You want the truth?” he asked.
Of course, I wanted the truth, but I wasn’t certain that his version of the truth was something I could even trust. He was a master manipulator. I nodded my head and gave him a chance.
“Not much scares a man like me but losing you…” he paused, taking a deep breath, his eyes filling with tears. “It scared the hell out of me,” he whispered as he shrugged his shoulders. “I wasn’t ready to let my little girl go. I never knew watching you fall in love with someone would hurt my heart as much as it did and you fell in love with someone I couldn’t scare away. I thought it was just a crush at first but you fell hard for him and Christ, that boy fell even harder for you. It terrified me that at such a young age you found the one you were meant to be with,” He released my hand and took my chin in his hands and gently forced my eyes to meet his. “I see the doubt in your eyes Adrianna, but ask your mother if you don’t believe me.”
He dropped his hand but held my gaze. “Why do you think I pushed you towards Michael? I knew Val wouldn’t allow his son to be the man he or I were. Hell, he gave me grief about recruiting Anthony to be one of us. But I saw a passion in Anthony’s eyes and that’s why I gave him a job. The only thing was; I had misread what that passion was for. You see it came from a good place, a good spot inside of him, one I didn’t have so I couldn’t recognize in someone else. He wanted to be someone, to be a man, but he didn’t have anyone to teach him how to do that. The men he was surrounded by were no good. We were street guys that once wanted to be men too but instead of being honorable men who made their families proud we were men who stole, cheated, and killed. Nothing honorable about that.”
The Tempted Series: Collectors Edition Page 55