“I’m fine,” I said. “I don’t think I ate today,” I added, pushing the wagon into a clerk because I wasn’t paying attention.
“Watch it!” the guy hissed, rubbing his side.
Actor, I didn’t even hit him that hard.
“Well if you weren’t taking up the whole aisle I wouldn’t have hit you!” I hissed.
“I’m stocking the shelves!” He argued.
“Hormonal and crazy,” Adrianna whispered beside me.
“Aww, A, it’s okay you’re supposed to be, you’re pregnant,” I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulders, diverting my eyes back to the clerk standing with his hands on his hips.
Road blocker.
“Move,” I ordered.
“Yeah, and what’s your excuse?” Adrianna asked beside me.
I turned to her in surprise and then let my eyes follow her finger as she pointed to the wagon. I leaned over and looked at the pregnancy test next to the tomatoes.
Oh, my God.
Getting drunk and stupid isn’t very fun when you’re by yourself. Blackie and Jack took off after the meeting with Bianci, leaving Pipe and Wolf in charge of our gun deal with Sun Wu. The guns were ready to go and tomorrow we were delivering them to “Jackie Chan.” I took my tequila upstairs to my room, deciding that I’d watch Rush Hour until I passed out.
I settled onto my bed and grabbed my laptop to free-stream the movie and remembered Sun Wu’s apartment. I bet that shit is more entertaining than watching a movie I’d seen a billion times. My fingers worked the keys on the keyboard, bringing up the surveillance footage of the apartment he had me wire.
The Red Dragons’ bikes were parked outside the building and they had a man patrolling every corner of the hallway. I sat up, enlarging another screen and spotted Wu in front of the apartment talking to one of the guards.
That’s a hell of a lot of man power to secure some dingy apartment. My first guess was that he had his mistress tucked inside trying to keep that pussy hidden from his old lady, but even that was extreme.
For some reason the mic wasn’t working and I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I fiddled around with the keys trying to retrieve the sound but it was no use. I wondered if someone cut the sound on purpose, but there was no way these guys were smart enough to find my bugs.
Wu opened the door, and I minimized one frame to locate the other frame that had him walking into the apartment.
Bingo!
I maximized it and holy shit! Naked Asians galore.
Seriously.
There was like ten of them.
Wearing nothing but a mask around their mouths.
Sun Wu and two of his Dragons walked to where the naked women were lined up, inspecting whatever it was they were doing.
I clicked on another screen and zoomed into the table that looked to be full of pure heroin. Someone else may have surveyed this shit and said it was drugs but my equipment was no joke top of the range, and my images were clear as day. That shit was in its purest form and these naked chicks were cutting and packaging it.
Sun Wu moved to the end of the table to inspect his product. Taking hold of the packaged heroin he lifted it for inspection. I leaned back as his eyes stared back at me. It was like he knew I was watching him.
Then the fucker smiled.
Right at me.
I was drunk.
There was no way he knew I was watching him. I was just paranoid and stupid.
Drunk, paranoid and stupid.
But this stupid drunk just uncovered The Red Dragons’ stash house.
Chapter Fourteen
“How long has it been?” I asked my sister-in-law as I sat on the toilet bowl while she stared at the watch on her wrist.
“We can check now,” she said, lifting her eyes to mine. “Do you want to look or do you want me to?”
I guess I should put my big girl panties on.
I held out my hand, ignoring the fact that it trembled and waited for her to place the pregnancy test in my palm.
I can’t believe this is what I’m doing right now. Talk about a detour. How’s that for a fucking detour?
I grabbed the stick hastily, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.
Please don’t let it be…
I didn’t even want to say the word because it felt wrong to say.
I opened my eyes, felt Adrianna’s hand on my shoulder and opened my palm.
Two pink lines.
“It’s wrong,” I insisted, shoving the test back at Adrianna. “Give me another, two came in the pack, right? Fork it over,” I demanded, as she took the test from my hand and glanced down at it.
I couldn’t look at her, stepping around her I pulled the second test out of the bag and dropped my pants. Preparing to pee on another stick…in front of my sister-in-law, because I was fucking pregnant and two seconds away from crying.
“It’s very unlikely to get a false positive, Lauren,” she whispered. This is because I don’t drink enough water. Tomorrow I was drinking a gallon of water and taking every goddamn test I could find.
Because I was pregnant.
Because I didn’t want to be.
Because I was not ready for a baby.
Because the father was a dope.
Because my life was upside down.
Because I listened to dopey dad and took the detour.
Fucking Riggs.
Fucking baby daddy.
Oh God.
I picked up my pants and sat on the toilet bowl holding the second test in my hand and reached for the first one.
The two pink lines were still there.
“This can’t be happening,” I whispered.
Adrianna sat on the edge of the bathtub, taking my hand in hers and squeezed it.
“It will be okay,” she reassured.
She was out of her fucking mind. It was NOT going to be okay. Nothing was okay about this. It was easy for her to say, she had her life figured out. She had everything she wanted, the man, the family, the life she dreamed about.
I had two fucking pink lines.
“I need to get out of here,” I said, springing to my feet.
“Where are you going?” she asked, concern etched in her features.
“I need to be by myself,” I declared, glancing down at the test before shoving it at her. “Do something with this, please.”
“Lauren, you’re upset you shouldn’t drive,” she cautioned.
“A, I need this,” I stated, pleading with her, my eyes full of unshed tears.
She brought me into her arms and hugged me tight.
“I know it doesn’t seem like it but I swear to you it will be okay,” she whispered, talking from experience. She had an unplanned pregnancy when she and Anthony were younger but the circumstances were different. Anthony and A were in love, they were together, prepared to take on a family because it was something they wanted in the future. It didn’t matter it came earlier than either of them expected, it was welcomed. They lost the baby, a baby that wasn’t planned but one that was loved and mourned.
I pulled away from her.
“I’ll be okay,” I lied, before hurrying out of the bathroom and letting my legs take me as quick as they could out of that house, away from the happy family and the promise of something I would not have.
I got in my car and started it up, and as the engine came to life, the dam broke, and the tears cascaded down my face.
Aside from having a plan for my career I also had my family life mapped out.
I was going to get married, have one of those big fancy weddings and my brother would walk me down the aisle, giving me away to the man of my dreams. After, we would honeymoon in the South of France, we’d come home and go house hunting. We’d buy a fixer-upper and for the first two years of our marriage we’d rip apart every room in the house and remodel it together. Our house would be a Pinterest board, a result of my handy husband and the crafty person I am.
Once the house was perfect, and the d
og was trained—a cute little Yorkshire terrier named Trouble, we’d work on our family.
He’d be there when I took the test, he’d be at that very first doctor’s appointment and each one after that. He’d record our Pea’s heartbeat on his phone and at night we’d listen to the recording in bed. We’d joke about the sex of our little Pea and argue over names. He’d be the doting husband, looking after his pregnant wife, making sure I drank water and ate vegetables. We wouldn’t find out the sex of our baby because there were few surprises in life and that should be the best one.
He’d hold my hand as I pushed and when our little Pea took her first breath, we’d look at one another understanding we gave one another life’s most precious gift.
We’d have three kids. Two girls, one after another and a year after that our little slugger would be born.
It was a good plan.
A beautiful plan.
One not meant for me to live.
The tears didn’t stop, they kept falling, and so I sat in my car and cried. I cried because my plan went up in smoke just like all the rest of my plans did. I cried because I had a baby inside of me, an innocent baby that deserved a good life. I cried because I couldn’t provide that life for my Pea.
My Pea.
Not Mine and Riggs.
Not ours.
Mine.
God, I didn’t even know if I should tell him. What would I say? Hey you may not have given me an STD, but you put a baby in my belly? How’s that for a parting gift?
Riggs wouldn’t want a baby.
He didn’t even want me.
Reality was harsh, and it was a bitch.
They say it takes two but how come in the end, when the shit hits the fan, there’s only one person standing.
This was all on me.
And that sucked.
People have fought for women to have this right, to be granted the power of choice.
But all I wanted was for someone to decide for me, for a higher power to intervene and tell me what to do. Someone to tell me I’d be a good mom, that I might struggle for a while but I could do it. I needed someone to tell me that all a baby needed was love because I had a lot of that to give and could give it in spades.
Or I needed to be told I was doing the right thing by letting go because love only got you so far in this world.
I don’t know if I can live the rest of my life knowing I’d ended a pregnancy by choice. I mean there has to be some sort of guilt that comes with that, right? Something that weighs heavily on you, that makes you constantly wonder, what if?
There was life inside of me.
That was something.
Something that maybe I should fight for and not against.
Maybe my Pea was the detour I needed to give me purpose. Maybe I could turn this around, if not for me, for my baby.
I could find a way.
My mother found a way, and she had two children.
I blew out a deep breath, bracing my hands on the steering wheel and glanced down at my flat stomach.
There was a piece of me inside there.
There was a piece of Riggs in there too.
There was life.
Me: #SheCameOutSwinging
I don’t know why I texted her. Scratch that, I one hundred percent know the reason and it wasn’t because I was drunk. I had slept that shit off and when I woke up I felt as fresh as a daisy. A wilted one, but whatever.
I text her because I wanted to fix what I broke.
I wanted her to stop looking at me like I hurt her.
Yes, I texted her a hashtag. Yes, I thought it was a good idea at the time. Yes, I stand by my decision because it might make her smile and she had a killer smile. I don’t think she knows the power of her smile, or that she even has a beautiful one. She does it more often, maybe she’d understand how it affects people.
Like me.
I’m doing what I swore I wouldn’t do.
I never rekindle things after I’ve blown out the flame.
But I’m doing just that because of her smile.
Because it’s missing from her face and I might be to blame.
Me: Come on Kitten, talk to me.
Me: I thought we were friends.
That was a stupid move.
Me: #ImAnAsshole
Nothing.
Not even a thumbs up or an emoji.
She gave me a dose of my own medicine and she gave it good.
I chucked my phone across the room and gave up.
You can smell doom, it’s the stench of death, lurking at every corner. The Dog Pound was reeking of doom and I wasn’t the only one noticing it. We all kept our mouths shut because we had no idea what the fuck was going on. I might be new to the brotherhood but there was some kind of code being obstructed by our president and vice president.
The tension was mounting between Jack and Blackie and with my eyes on Wu, I knew it had nothing to do with the gun deal we had going on. They had something else brewing and whatever it was had Blackie hitting the bottle more than usual.
The man was still grieving his wife who died of an overdose, an overdose supplied on the product he was pushing before Jack became the head honcho of the Knights. Bones thinks Blackie’s guilt will be the death of him if he doesn’t get a handle on it.
I think he’s dead already, just waiting for the reaper to call him home.
I parked my bike next to Blackie’s, noticing it was the only one in the lot aside from the few cars. I hung my helmet off one handlebar and strode into the compound.
Bianci was off doing father-to-be crap and luckily for me I wasn’t invited to that sort of shit. After the night I text Lauren, I kept my distance and respected she wanted nothing to do with me. Which sucked, because with the afternoon to myself all I wanted to do was take a ride on my bike with her. I don’t know what the fuck was wrong with me. I guess it’s the game of temptation, wanting what you can’t have.
I stopped in my tracks when I heard a sob and turned around to see Jack’s daughter running down the stairs. She froze, mascara streaking her pretty face, as she buttoned up her shirt.
Well, now.
“Lacey,” I started.
“I was never here,” she sniffled, straightening her back as she stared at me.
I raised an eyebrow. Daddy’s little girl didn’t fall too far from the badass family tree.
“I was never here,” she repeated.
“Never saw you,” I agreed, biting the inside of my cheek. She waited a moment, assessing me to be sure she had my word, before grabbing her keys off the bar and jetting out of the Dog Pound.
I think it was safe to say she wasn’t visiting daddy looking for a handout.
I glanced toward the stairs and decided this afternoon just got a whole lot more interesting.
Who needs Kitten when you got a clubhouse full of demons?
I climbed the stairs, remembering the only bike in the lot was Blackie’s and made my way toward his room.
If I had any brains whatsoever, I would’ve turned the fuck around and minded my own business. But I was bored and stupid. I’ve been doing a lot of stupid shit lately. I needed to get that shit under control, but not until after I saw why Lacey was running down the stairs crying.
I opened the door to Blackie’s room and found him sitting on the foot of the bed with his head in his hands. He slowly lifted his face and the whites of his eyes were so red he looked like he had pink eye.
“Get out,” he seethed.
“You the reason Lacey just ran out of here crying?”
“What’s it to you?” he said, rising to his feet, stumbling a little as he did so. He was fucked up. No surprise there, but he wasn’t drunk. He crossed his arms against his bare chest and that’s when I noticed the fresh marks on his forearm.
I took a step closer, getting a better look at the bruises that marked his skin, and lifted my eyes back to his.
“You’re using?” I questioned.
He uncrossed his arms
and reached behind him for his gun before aiming it at me.
“Get the fuck out of my room, Riggs,” he shouted, unlatching the safety.
The reaper was coming, and he was coming soon.
Chapter Fifteen
I wonder if the Psychic Friends Network is hiring. Dionne Warwick was dead, wasn’t she? If not, the bitch had to be retired by now and I’m a perfect candidate to take her place.
It didn’t take that long for the reaper to show up, ready to claim our souls. In fact, he showed the next day, getting our attention when Blackie’s truck was blown to bits. The reaper has a name and his name is Jimmy Fucking Gold.
I knew these gangsters were nothing but trouble but now really isn’t the time for “I told you so.” Not while our club is on lock down. Not while Jack Parrish was in Bulldog mode, teetering on the edge of insanity.
I knew shit was heavy between Jack and Blackie, and for a hot minute I thought it was because Blackie might be banging Jack’s daughter. But, this runs deeper than a little game of “just the tip.” When Bianci showed up at the Dog Pound with Grace Pastore in tow it became clear that this was more mobbed up bullshit that found its way to the Satan’s Knights doorstep.
It also became clear that Anthony had been working with Jack and Blackie for some time. Clearly, I was doing a bang-up job on keeping tabs on Anthony because I never saw this shit coming. But hey, the motherfucker was still breathing and I should get a gold star for that right?
I lifted my eyes from the beer I was holding as the compound door opened and Wolf pushed his three sons through the door. Pipe followed him with his young, hot piece of ass wife. I think she was one of those mail-order brides that married him for a green card. Gotta love America!
“They come back yet?” Pipe asked.
Blackie had gone to get Jack’s daughter—no shocker there and Jack went to pick up his old lady, Reina. Everyone who ever mattered to a Knight would fill these four walls until this crap died down. At least then we could do our jobs and know the people who mattered most were safe.
Me and Bones? We had each other, no one else to rally together and bring here to keep safe.
The Tempted Series: Collectors Edition Page 99