Out of the Storm

by Jillian Elizabeth

  I looked over to my right and everything goes dark.

  Startled awake by the ringing of my phone, I sit up breathing heavily and sweating profusely. I haven't dreamt that dream in at least a year. Why now? Reaching to my stomach, I feel where my son used to be. Where he used to move and grow inside of me.

  My phone still ringing, I reach for it. I see Amy’s name on the caller I.D. and sheer terror rips through me. Why is she calling me? What in the hell does Trent’s sister have to say to me? After all, according to her family, it's my fault her brother is in jail.

  Looking to my ring on my left hand, I think I know exactly why the old demons are creeping back up to claw at me. I'm happy.

  Picking my phone up at the voice mail notification chime, I listen to the message she left. She was my best friend, then she made me feel like the biggest asshole in the world. Never again. The Zitos can go to hell!

  “Hey Andrea, it's Amy. It's been awhile, so I just wanted to reach out to you and see how you're doing. I'm sorry. I really am. Call me.”

  After sitting there a moment, I get mad. She has some nerve to be calling me after two years.

  Nope. Not happening. I send her a text.

  Me- Please don't contact me ever again.

  Amy- I understand. I really do wish you the best.

  Me- Please, Amy, I would like your family to forget I ever existed.

  Amy- I wanted to make sure you knew that Trent is up for an early parole. He meets with the parole board in two months, although Uncle Henry is working for sooner.

  Dropping the phone on a scream, I jump off the bed and start to pace. One hand on my hip and the other on my head, I all but run a hole in the carpet in front of our bed. I hear a chair move downstairs and I freeze. It can't be Carter, he'd say something. Just then there are pounding footsteps on the stairs. They seem to be coming quickly.

  I run into the closet for the baseball bat I know Carter keeps there with his stuff.

  I slowly peek around the corner to the hallway from our bedroom. The hallway to the stairs is long, with our bedroom being in the middle at the end. Great! I slowly step forward with the bat raised in the air, ready to strike. Now I wish I knew how to shoot that damn fancy new gun of mine.

  A shadow comes to the top of the stairs against the wall and I hold my breath, ready to swing when they round the corner. I swing the bat with all I've got as I see a toe of a shoe come into view.

  It's caught midair with a familiar chuckle. “Good afternoon, Starfish, so glad I came home to such a welcome,” Carter chuckles while throwing the bat on the floor. He turns his eyes to me with a questioning look. Great, he thinks I'm losing it again. Maybe I am. I need his strength.

  Throwing my arms around his neck, I sob into his neck. Cradling my head and lifting me, I wrap my legs around his waist. My ankle hits his gun holder as he reaches around to remove it. Moving us back down the hall to our room, he drops it on the dresser and sits on the bed with me now in his lap facing him.

  “Talk to me,” he gives in a pleading demand.

  Sitting up, I kiss his mouth, pushing my lips to his soft ones in a long, closed lipped kiss. Pulling back, I whisper, “I'm scared Carter. I'm so scared.”

  He puts his hands on my cheeks and looks in my eyes as the tears cascade down my face and onto my lips. His thumbs wipe a few away as he looks at me with concern. I know he's got all sorts of things running through his head right now. It's what he does. He wants to solve this for me. He can't.

  “I fell asleep while you were gone and had a dream about the accident. It's been so long since I’ve had one and I didn't understand it,” I tell him while looking at his chest and playing with the buttons on his dress shirt. Moving his hands to my hips, he squeezes for me to continue. “I woke up to my phone ringing. It was Amy. I didn't answer it and let it go to voicemail, and after listening to it I texted her to not contact me again. She said she wanted to check on me,” I say on an eye roll.

  His face gets really hard and I see the concern showing. Any Zito being anywhere near us is not something good.

  “She texted me back that Trent is up for parole. He meets with the board in two months. Uncle Henry is trying to get it moved sooner.” A hiccupping sob escapes me.

  “I won't let that happen, Starfish. He won't be near you ever again,” he says setting me on the bed and coming in front of me on his knees. Grabbing my hands, he looks at me to reassure me. Crawling up, he lays me back as he hovers over me just looking in my eyes. “It's my job to protect you and provide for you. As your boyfriend, your friend, your fiancée, and then as your husband. That job won't ever stop, Starfish, not as long as I'm breathing,” he says to me seriously while rolling to his back and pulling me with him. I just lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat under my ear as he plays with my hair.

  We lay here a little bit silently, each in our own thoughts.

  “Let's go teach you how to shoot that fancy new toy of yours,” he says to me suddenly.

  Lifting my head, I look down at him smiling. I would love to and it would make me feel better when he isn't here. “You mean it?” I ask hopeful.

  Grabbing my face, he pulls me just so I hover above his face. “Right now, I want you to learn this. Not that damn bat. Although I'm glad I didn't get shot today,” he chuckles slightly and pulls my mouth to his.

  Grabbing his shirt, I sit up and pull him with me. Like magnets our lips never leave each other's as he sits up deepening the kiss. “I'll protect you with my life, Starfish,” he says pulling away and looking deep into my eyes. Nodding my head to him, I really know he would. He spent a long time beating himself up for not being able to save me from Trent once. I'm lucky to have survived and we both know it.

  **********

  Pulling up to the gun range, I step out onto the gravel drive and stare up at the faded brick. Nothing fancy. Not what I thought the county officers and such would be using, but what do I know.

  “I see your judgmental eyes over there, little missy,” Carter says, pointing at me over the top of his Explorer.

  Stifling a laugh at his feathers being ruffled, I come around the sleek black ride he's got that matches at least three other cars here. Standard issue.

  “See Starfish, it's gotta look like somewhere no one would think a bunch of cops go,” he says seriously while grabbing my belt loops. I can't help but ruffle them a little more, watching him squirm. I've never not been able to get a little rise out of my Carter.

  “I look around and all I see are Explorers and unmarked police cars. Seems it won't take them long to catch on,” I say as I walk away kicking the gravel back as I make my way to the door. The wind is picking up and blowing my hair in my face. I don't see him approach. He comes behind me and picks me up while tickling my sides.

  “You're too smart for your own good, Starfish,” he says grunting as he puts me down.

  “I'm freezing! Let's get inside already so you can show me what all the fuss is about,” I tell him jogging in place to stay warm.

  Getting in the door, I see the familiar faces of some of the cops and SWAT from around the county from different cities. Nodding to Kevin and Scott as I pass, I'm guided to a large counter with a big bearded burly guy behind it. He looks to be about mid to late forties, sort of reminds me of that guy Bobby from that show I got Carter hooked on, Sons of Anarchy. Definitely the biker type.

  “Avery, good to see you man,” he says as we walk up and he bumps fists with Carter.

  “Joe, man, this is Andrea, my girl….er fiancée,” he says introducing me with his hand low on my back.

  “It's very nice to meet you, Joe,” I say to him holding my hand out to shake his.

  Grabbing mine with both of his, a smile lights his up face. I imagine it being much bigger if it weren't for the beard covering most of it. It mostly shows in the crinkles of his eyes.

  “Ahhh the infamous Starfish, Andrea the beauty,” he says to me while giving Carter a wink.

  “Hey now,�
� Carter says to him jokingly and laughing to himself, like they share a personal joke.

  “Ummmm...yes?” I laugh questionably while looking between them.

  “It's great to finally put a beautiful face to the woman I've heard so much about over the years, darling.” He kisses my hand he was still holding.

  “It's great to meet you, Joe. I hope this guy doesn't cause much trouble,” I say, poking Carter in the ribs playfully.

  “Nah, I miss his ugly mug when he isn't here,” he says on a hearty laugh while letting my hand go to playfully reach over and slap Carter’s shoulder.

  Carter just shakes his head and shows him my new gun from the auction last night. “Just bringing Starfish in to learn how to use her new toy,” he says handing it to Joe.

  Joe whistles. “That's a beauty. I know a guy who shoots a gun like this. Badger, he comes in here...well he and his wife do. Holly. Haven't seen him in a while, but she's still here a lot. Pretty thing is pretty badass on a range,” he tells us as I just smile brightly at the thought of my friend.

  “Well, it was Holly that insisted this was my weapon of choice,” I tell him grinning ear to ear.

  “She would be one to let you know, little lady. Carter here is a good teacher, you're in good hands. Go on now and grab a lane. I'll see you on your way out and I want to see how you like that new toy beauty,” he says, putting two cases of bullets, two pairs of ear muffs, and safety glasses on the counter and pushing them toward us.

  The safety glasses are big enough to cover my entire face. The earmuffs are huge and remind me of what a radio DJ would wear while on the air. The puzzled look on my face as I look down and to each of them must have clued them both in. They both have a little laugh, at my expense of course.

  “He knows your gun, babe, and he already knows what I use. He's like the regular bartender, always knows what the customer is drinking. And these are for your ears. It's loud, baby. Keep the safety glasses on too. I’ve seen many guys with lead in the eye from the kickback. Gotta keep those pretty baby blues sparkling.” He places a small kiss to my head. “Come on. Let's go send some targets to hell.” Smacking my ass playfully, he then guides me with a hand on the small of my back to the back of the room.

  There's a hallway through a big metal door. Carter turns to me and motions to my gear. Putting his own on, he kisses me sweetly and waggles his eyebrows as he opens the other big metal door with the caution sign on it. This must be the way to the range. I'm nervous but the anticipation is killing me. The assault of gunpowder hits my nose and I inhale. I love this smell.

  We pass some stalls where others are setting up. Carter leads me to one and points for me to set my stuff down on the little table in front of a giant hole where the target is further out. Just as he starts to speak to me, there are shots fired and I jump. He laughs at my sudden jump and wide eyes at the sound, my hand to my chest as it thumps wildly. I wasn't expecting it to be so loud! I know it isn't quiet but sheesh, it took me by surprise with the sudden assault of noise. Again the gunpowder is pungent in the air and I breathe it in as Carter pulls me in front of him with the case of bullets to show me how to load my clip.

  He pulls his out and goes about loading his, looking to me to see I'm watching. With shaky hands, I grab a few bullets and hope I'm doing it right. Looking up to him, he gives me a small smile and a nod. He looks sort of proud in this moment and it makes my heart soar.

  After I can't fit anymore in, he shows me with his own how to load it in the gun. He grabs mine and inspects it to make sure I've done it properly. Pressing a button, he brings the target closer to us, I assume so I can have a shorter range to start.

  He pulls me in front of him so my back is to his front and puts the gun in my hand. I'm shaking and nervous as I look at the loaded weapon in my hand and back up to him over my shoulder as it's pointed toward the floor. He nods and grabs my shoulders, massaging a little to tell me to relax. I take a deep breath and nod my head. His arms enclose mine as he shows me how to hold the gun with both hands. One of his hands leaves mine and taps my right leg, I pull it back slightly and he nods.

  He gets right in my ear and pulls the muff away slightly so he can talk to me. “The kickback and recoil will knock you off balance since you aren't expecting it.” I nod my head. He puts my muff back over my ear and puts his hands back over mine on the gun. I pull the clip back with him and nod to him. He squeezes the trigger as I look down the range to the target where the gun is aimed. I'm knocked back into him, and the shell hits me right in the forehead.

  I can feel his laughter against me more than I can hear it. He already knew I would be thrown off and I'm thankful he was standing there behind me. He taps my hand again and I nod that I'm ready to try it again. I'm expecting it more this time, but I'm still knocked back slightly.

  After a few more times with Carter behind me, I think I'm getting the hang of it. I step to the side so Carter can have some time to shoot and I can just watch him. I've never been able to see him in action and I think I may learn better from watching him a little. Well, that's what I'm telling myself anyway. I shamelessly just want to watch him.

  Carter nods his head, getting what I'm saying without having to yell over the noise. The air is sort of smoky from all the gunfire around, but not overly cloudy. He comes over to me and kisses my forehead as I move to the side again to watch him.

  I look at his stance and think he’s doing it to show me how to properly stand. He does this professionally and can no doubt run and shoot with one hand. I watch the sleeves of his short sleeve T-shirt bulge as he lifts his arms to shoot with both hands, the flexing of the muscles beneath his skin….it's hot!

  “I feel those laser beams of yours, Starfish. You're gonna be getting yourself in trouble if I see that sparkle in your eyes when I turn around,” he says loud enough for me to hear. It only makes me grin from ear to ear at the trouble that I love.

  “Not sure what you mean, handsome.” I shrug as he turns around with his eyebrow cocked at me. And cue the panties melting on the spot.

  Feeling his eyes move over my face, hard and seriously...I get flushed. It's like he's got his hands roaming my body, touching me, rather than standing three feet away. He comes over and pulls me out of the chair. I'm suddenly flush up against him with my nose in his hard chest. Tipping my chin up, he gives my bottom lip a bite. Pulling back, he winks and turns me around so my back is once again to his front.

  “I'm going to let you shoot all by yourself again, but I want to stand behind you and watch you aim for that target this time,” he says next to my ear.

  A shiver runs through me as the demanding Carter comes out. He's in charge and I want to show him I can do this. I can also feel how much he loves this as well, he’s hard and hot against my lower back.

  I turn to him and give him a wink as he hits the button to take the target further away again.

  “See my middle marks? Blow them out Starfish. Hit right there, look down the top of your gun with both eyes, and kill it baby.”

  I nod my head and ready my weapon again, doing just as he showed me I aim and let it rip. I'm still thrown back a little, and this time I catch a shell right in the chest. I’m so glad I have a T-shirt on that covers me or that would have been down my shirt. I already felt its heat as it smacked the outside of my T-shirt.

  Carter's in my ear after I empty out the few bullets in my magazine. “That was good, Starfish, but now let's see what you can do under pressure,” he says as he moves next to me to help me reload my gun.

  What the hell is he talking about? Pressure? I already feel pressure just to do well and make him proud of me. Nothing worse, I'm sure, than an amazing detective with a girl that can't shoot to save her life.

  Placing his hands on my hips, he just stands still and lets me shoot. I can feel his breathing feather across my shoulder and neck. It makes goosebumps break out across my skin, it’s my go-to sensitive spot, he knows it well.

  I begin shooting, and only catch mysel
f falling back into him once. I'm starting to get the hang of this kickback, and haven't been hit with any more shells.

  I feel Carter’s hand graze my stomach under my shirt, just above my pants line. “Babe? What are you doing, you're going to make me miss,” I tell him, a little miffed he wants to play while I'm trying to seriously learn.

  “Just keep shooting, Starfish. I'm adding some pressure, let's keep this fun,” he says leaning into my ear and biting my earlobe.

  I put the gun down and lean into him. He's hitting the spots he knows well to turn me to his putty. He's always been able to.

  Eighteen years old, a trip to Cedar Point in Ohio with Carter, the day after my prom in early June. Waiting in line for the Raptor, it's early, the line is dead, and few people surround us. Leaning against his front with his arms wrapped around me, he reminds me of our night before. The night I gave him all of me.