Jessica nodded, not even caring that he had basically tracked her down and shown up uninvited. She had more pressing concerns on her mind. Like whether Kyle had a child, and whether he even cared that Jessica might have a serious boyfriend.
What had he meant when he’d told Alex “Best of luck”? Was he being sarcastic, or did he really mean it? Maybe he’s glad to know I have a boyfriend, she thought. Then he won’t need to feel guilty. Maybe I just imagined that look of jealousy when Kyle first saw Alex.
“Jessica,” Alex said. “What are you thinking about? You look so far away.”
Shaking her head, Jessica sighed. “I just didn’t expect to see you here. You really caught me off-guard.”
“But you’re glad I’m here, right?”
That depends, she thought. Will your presence push Kyle farther away or make him realize I’m desirable? “Honestly, Alex, I don’t know yet.”
“Well, I want you to know how much I’ve missed you.” He stared at the ground for a minute before looking at her. “Ever since you broke up with me, I haven’t been able to think of anything but you. I decided I had to come talk to you.” He reached out and took her hands. “I love you, Jessica. More than you’ll ever know.”
Jessica let him hold her hands. “Look, Alex, you have to understand that it’s not that easy. I can’t just forget that you cheated on me.”
“I know I made a mistake. I completely admit that I was wrong and stupid. I should never have asked Mikayla to go to dinner with me. But please, Jessica, please. Please forgive me. Give me another chance.”
Though Jessica wished it was Kyle begging for her to come back to him, she knew she had to let go of that fantasy. The hope of him wanting her back was taking too much of her energy. Especially since the odds of that happening were so small. He was with another woman now, a very beautiful woman. He may even have a child with the woman. As she considered all the obstacles to Kyle having any interest in her, she felt deflated.
Maybe she should give Alex a second chance. They had been considering marriage just a few weeks before, after all. And she couldn’t deny that the way he so clearly wanted her made her feel good. A feeling she hadn’t had recently. Plus she could tell he was truly repentant for what had happened, making her believe that he had learned his lesson and wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
“I’m just not sure, Alex,” she finally said. “I need some time to think it over.”
Alex’s face lit up at the fact that Jessica was even considering it. “If it’s all right with you, I’m going to stay in town this week so we can spend some time together.”
Jessica wasn’t so sure that was a good idea. “What about your law practice?”
“I can work remotely, so that’s no problem.” He paused. “You’re more important to me than anything. You need to understand that.”
“I have work to do too. I have, uh, very limited times that I’m available to spend with you.”
“That’s okay. I’ll take whatever I can get.”
Though reluctant to commit to anything, she found his eagerness hard to resist.
“Are you available for dinner this evening?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said after a moment, deciding to allow him to try to coax her back. Even though she was wary about getting back together with him, she knew it would be better to go out with him than to sit home and feel sorry for herself. “But on one condition.”
“Okay.”
“You have to promise that you won’t pressure me to get back together with you.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay. That’s fair. We’ll just spend time together.”
Relieved that she wouldn’t have to spend energy pushing back against any pressure to reunite, she found herself looking forward to going out that evening. “Okay.”
“What time would be good for you?”
“About six o’clock.”
Alex smiled and stood. “I’ll come pick you up at six then.”
She followed him to the front door and closed it behind him after he left. She went to the window and watched him get in his car and drive away. Once he was out of sight, her gaze went to Kyle’s truck.
Do I want him all the more because he doesn’t want me? Or is it because I know another woman wants him? She imagined him being available and wanting her back, and realized she would still be drawn to him.
Why can’t I want to be with the person who wants to be with me? Yes, Alex made a mistake, but he’s sorry about it and he drove all the way here to prove it to me. And he’s crazy about me. Why can’t I fall head over heels in love with him? We were talking about getting married just a few weeks ago. I was all in. Can I get back to that place? All I want is to be happy, to be with a man who adores me as much as I adore him. Is that asking too much?
If only I hadn’t run in to Kyle and stirred up all the old memories and feelings, I’d be fine right now. I’d be choosing between forgiving Alex and getting back together with him, or choosing to be on my own. But with Kyle in the mix, everything is so complicated.
Jessica sighed loudly, frustrated with the situation as much as with herself, and not knowing what the best course of action should be.
“Everything okay?”
Jessica spun around at the sound of Kyle’s voice. Her eyes met his and she immediately felt drawn to him. Forcing her gaze away from his mesmerizing eyes, she found herself looking instead at his chest. His tight t-shirt emphasized his muscular build, and sudden heat swept over her. She turned toward the window again to gain control of herself.
“Jess?”
Squeezing her eyes closed at the sound of her nickname coming from his mouth, she dredged up the frustration she’d been feeling moments before so she could push down the attraction. Opening her eyes, she turned back to him. “What do you want?” She hadn’t meant for it to come out sounding so angry, but felt a moment of satisfaction to see the surprise on his face—she was glad she wasn’t the only one who could feel less than confident.
“Nothing. I . . . I was just coming to get something out of my truck and . . . Never mind.”
“What? What were you going to say?” She succeeded in sounding less confrontational that time.
“Well, I saw you standing there and . . .”
“Kyle, just say it.”
He pressed his lips together for a moment. “I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. Because of your . . .boyfriend.”
“Everything’s fine. In fact, Alex is taking me out to dinner tonight.”
Kyle nodded.
Did I imagine it, Jessica thought. Or did Kyle clench his jaw for a second—the thing I remember him doing whenever he felt frustrated or upset.
“Well, that’s good, right?” he asked. “That’s what you want?”
She had no idea what she wanted, and his asking didn’t help. “I’m sorry, but why do you care?”
He flinched slightly and Jessica felt guilty for being so mean.
This time his jaw did clench. Then his eyes narrowed. “I don’t.” He turned away from her and walked out the front door.
Any feelings of guilt fled as Jessica felt the sting of his words. Of course he doesn’t care, she thought. Why should he? He stopped caring about me five years ago when he walked out on me and our relationship.
Turning back to the window, she peered out at him, not wanting him to know she was watching. With his back to her, he placed both hands on the side of the truck bed and stared into the distance. After a moment, he reached into the bed of the truck and picked up a tool, then turned back toward the house.
Jessica hurried away from the window and into the kitchen, listening for the sound of the front door. After a few seconds the front door opened, then closed. It sounded like Kyle paused in the entry for a moment before climbing the stairs.
Jessica poured a glass of water, and as she lifted it to her mouth, her hand shook slightly. Ignoring the unsettled feeling, she gulped down the water, then set the glass in the sink. Pressi
ng her hands to her cheeks, she closed her eyes for a moment and tried to remember what she had planned on doing that day.
The diner, she thought, opening her eyes. I was going to see if Thomas Naylor was at the diner so I could pick his brain about Charles and Teal Harrington.
Now that she had a purpose, Jessica felt better. She grabbed her purse from the desk in the library and headed out the door, glad to have an excuse to be nowhere near Kyle.
Chapter Twenty
Jessica parked her car and walked into the diner, her eyes scanning the people inside. She didn’t see Thomas Naylor anywhere. Jessica slid into a booth and ordered orange juice, eggs and toast. Recognizing the waitress from when she’d been there on Saturday, Jessica asked if Thomas had been there yet.
“Come and gone, honey,” the waitress said. “You just missed him though.”
“Okay, thanks.” Jessica smiled, then ate her breakfast, irritated that Kyle and Alex had gotten in the way of her plans.
After she finished eating, she drove to the long-term care center to visit her aunt.
“Did you find out anything new about Teal Harrington?” Ellen asked as they walked through the garden, Ellen using Jessica’s arm as a support.
“No. I went to the diner this morning to talk to Thomas Naylor, but I missed him.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. I suppose you’ll have to get there earlier next time.”
“I would have been there on time today, but. . .” Jessica hesitated.
“But what?” Ellen smiled. “Did you have trouble with Kyle?”
Jessica shook her head. “Things have gotten complicated.”
Ellen’s eyebrows went up. “Really? What do you mean?”
Sighing, Jessica frowned. “You remember Alex, right?”
“I’ve never met the man, but I know you said you broke up with him just before coming to visit.”
“Yes. He showed up this morning.”
“Oh?”
“And then Kyle showed up.”
“Ohhh.”
Jessica nodded.
“What happened?”
Jessica described how the conversations had gone, even telling her how Kyle had said he didn’t care about her.
“Oh, sweetie. I’m so sorry you’re having difficulty.”
She nodded, not wanting to talk about it anymore. When they reached a bench, the two of them sat down, enjoying the scent of the flowers that filled the air. Ellen told her about some of the other residents, and Jessica smiled, happy to know that the social aspects of the long-term care center were making her aunt happy.
When Jessica pulled up to the house a while later, she saw Kyle’s truck in front and felt her stomach knot up. She parked her car, took a deep breath, released it slowly, then calmly walked into the house.
The sound of power tools floated down the stairs. Relieved she wouldn’t have to face Kyle, Jessica grabbed her laptop from the desk and took it into the sunroom, then placed her ear buds in her ears before getting started on her latest programming project. Immersed in her work, she didn’t hear Kyle leave, and when she stopped to take a break, she noticed it was time to get ready for her date with Alex.
Before going upstairs to get ready, she glanced out the front window to make sure Kyle had left, then went to her room and changed into slacks and one of her favorite blouses.
Alex knocked on the door right on time, and though Jessica had second thoughts about going to dinner with him, she pushed a smile onto her face and opened the door.
“You look fantastic,” Alex said, a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
When Jessica saw the beautiful flower arrangement, her heart softened a bit, and her smile became genuine.
“These are for you.” He handed her the flowers.
“They’re gorgeous, Alex. Thank you. Come in while I put them in water.”
Alex followed her into the kitchen.
“Will you hold these a sec while I find a vase?”
Alex took the flowers as Jessica hunted for a vase.
“I’m sure my aunt has a vase stashed around here somewhere,” she said as she dug through the cabinets. “I suppose this will have to do.” Jessica held a glass pitcher in her hands.
Alex laughed. “That will work.”
She put water in the pitcher, then placed the flowers inside before stepping back to admire her work. “I like it.”
“It looks great,” Alex said. “Just like you.”
Jessica turned to him and smiled. “Thanks.”
“I wasn’t sure where to take you for dinner so I thought I’d see if you have a favorite restaurant here.”
Jessica thought about the place she’d eaten the week before, when she’d seen Melanie for the first time. “Let’s drive to town and I’ll show you where to go.”
A short time later they were driving down the main street. They passed the restaurant where Jessica had eaten the week before. She glanced at it, but then focused on other places to eat. “That one,” she said suddenly, pointing to a random place. “Let’s go there.”
Alex found a parking place and within a few minutes they were sitting on a padded bench just inside the door, waiting to be called to their table. A few minutes later they were seated in a booth toward the back. Jessica picked up the menu and studied the food options, remembering how the previous evening she’d been feeling sorry for herself because she was alone. Now she had Alex sitting across from her, but she wasn’t certain that that was what she wanted either.
“I’m so happy to have you sitting with me,” Alex said.
Jessica looked up from the menu at his earnest face and immediately felt the pressure she’d feared. Though she admitted he wasn’t pressuring her on purpose, just being there with him pushed her to make a decision. She smiled at him, ignoring his comment. “What are you going to order?”
He picked up the menu, a crease between his eyebrows.
She couldn’t help but feel bad for not responding to him the way he was obviously hoping she would, but she just couldn’t bring herself to say something she was too uncertain about.
“The lasagna sounds good.” He set the menu down.
Nodding, Jessica said, “I was thinking about the chicken salad.”
The waitress came to their table and they placed their order. Jessica struggled for something to talk about that had nothing to do with relationships. “So, how are things at work?”
“Same as usual. How about you, Jessica? Have you been able to get a lot of work done while staying here?”
“Yes.” She paused. “My mom told you about my aunt hurting her ankle, right?”
“Yeah.”
“We’re hoping she can come home from the long-term care center soon.”
“That must be hard on her to be away from home.”
“She seems to be doing okay, but I know she’s anxious to come home.”
The waitress placed their food in front of them and they began eating.
“How much longer do you think you’ll be staying here?” Alex asked, lifting a forkful of lasagna to his mouth.
“I don’t know yet. I came to help my aunt because she hadn’t been feeling well, but now that she hurt her ankle she needs me around more than ever.”
Alex set his fork down. “You are planning on coming back to your apartment eventually, right?”
Jessica dug around her salad with her fork. “As far as I know. I’m just not sure when.” She stabbed a piece of chicken. “I’m just kind of playing it by ear.”
The sound of a child crying suddenly filled the restaurant. Jessica looked toward the noise and saw a woman with a young child entering the restaurant. Though the entry was a little ways off, Jessica felt her stomach clench at the familiarity of the woman. The child continued crying until a man appeared at the woman’s side and took the child from her. The child immediately stopped crying.
Jessica watched as the man spoke to the hostess, then he, the woman, and the child followed the hostess to a table. As the c
ouple and child approached the table, any doubt Jessica had about their identity fled.
Kyle.
Jessica focused on her salad, forcing herself to be calm.
“Well, I think it’s great that you’re helping your aunt out.”
Jessica glanced at Alex and gave him a quick smile, before looking toward Kyle, Melanie and the child. Their table was far enough away that Jessica hoped her presence would go unnoticed. Though she could see Melanie and the child well enough, Kyle’s back was to her.
“It’s also fortunate that your job allows you to work from where ever you want.”
“Yeah, that’s one thing I like about it.” She tried to pay attention to Alex, while surreptitiously watching Kyle. Her eyes kept drifting to the little girl. Jessica admitted that the child was adorable. She looked about the same as she did in the pictures. Evidently the pictures were taken recently.
“Is your food okay?” Alex asked.
Jessica dragged her gaze away from the little girl at Kyle’s table and looked at Alex. “What?”
“You’ve hardly eaten any of your salad.”
“Oh. I guess I wasn’t as hungry as I thought.”
“No, Daddy!” the girl’s voice shouted loudly enough to be heard at Jessica’s table. Then the girl started crying loudly.
Jessica’s gaze shot in their direction. She called him Daddy! There was little doubt that he was the child’s father.
“Some people should utilize babysitters before going to restaurants,” Alex said, obviously annoyed by the crying.
“Yeah,” Jessica muttered, mesmerized by the certainty she now felt that Kyle was a father. She watched as he picked the girl up and placed her on his lap with a confidence that only came from practice. The girl snuggled up to him and stopped crying.
Despair washed over Jessica as she saw what a good father Kyle was and knew he would never be the father of her children.
“Are you done, ma’am?” the waitress asked Jessica.
She glanced at the girl and nodded, suddenly desperate to leave.
“Do you want dessert?” Alex asked.
“No thanks.” She had a hard time not staring at Kyle and his family.
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