The memory sunk into Jessica’s heart and she had to take a deep breath to keep her emotions under control. Why would he care about me? He has Melanie now. And his daughter.
“Jessica?” Ellen said.
She focused her attention back on her aunt. “Last night when Alex took me to dinner, Kyle showed up at the same place. He had his girlfriend with him.” Jessica paused. “And his daughter.”
“His daughter? What makes you so sure she’s his daughter?”
“She called him Daddy, Ellen.”
“Oh. I see.”
“Yes. There’s not much doubt now.”
“I suppose not.” Ellen paused. “What about Alex? How do you feel about him?”
“I don’t know.” Jessica shook her head, frustrated with herself for being undecided. “He’s a great guy in many ways, and I believe him when he says he’s sorry for what he did.”
“But?”
“I just can’t get past Kyle.”
“Are you saying you’re still in love with Kyle?”
Jessica dropped her head into her hands. After a moment she looked at her aunt. “I think I am. Yes.”
“Now, be honest with yourself. Is it because he’s unavailable? Or can you really see yourself being with him for the rest of your life?”
“I’ve thought about that too, believe it or not.” Jessica gathered her thoughts. “I think the thing that really made me face my feelings were those pictures of him with the little girl. Before he left me, I’d had plans about our future, and I just can’t get past the idea that it should be my child calling him Daddy.”
Ellen nodded slowly. “What are you going to do?”
“There’s nothing I can do. I’m not about to try to break up a family. Besides, Kyle made it clear he doesn’t . . . care . . . about me anymore.” She swallowed the tears that threatened.
“As hard as it will be, you’re going to have to come to terms with the way things have turned out.”
Jessica nodded, knowing it was true, but not liking it.
“What about Alex? Is there any future with him?”
“A few weeks ago I was ready to make a commitment to him. But now, I’m torn.”
“Jessica, be honest. If Kyle is out of the picture, where does that leave you and Alex?”
“I suppose there could be a future there.”
“Then I think that’s where you need to focus your attention. You need to at least give yourself a chance to develop feelings for him. Give him some of your time and see where it leads. If it’s not meant to be, then it’s not meant to be.”
Jessica felt some of the weight lift from her shoulders. “Thank you. You’ve made me feel a little better.”
“Good.”
“Oh, that reminds me. When Alex came to pick me up last night, he brought me a beautiful flower arrangement.”
“Well, that’s promising.”
Jessica smiled. “Yes. But the reason I brought it up is, I couldn’t find a vase to put the flowers in, so I used a glass water pitcher. Where do you keep your vases?”
“Oh. I guess I boxed them up and put them in the attic.”
“Why did you do that?”
“It was after your Uncle Patrick died. He would bring me flowers on occasion, and I guess I thought keeping the vases out once he was gone was pointless.”
“But you could buy yourself flowers, or get some from the yard.”
“I know. But I was in mourning. I know it was silly. In fact, I think you ought to find them, choose a few, and bring them into the kitchen.”
“I’ll do that.”
“I have some news too,” Ellen said, a smile on her face.
“Oh?”
“Yes. The doctor said if I keep progressing the way I have been, I can go home on Monday.”
“That’s in less than a week. That’s great, Ellen.”
“I’ve been working hard in physical therapy.”
“Well, it sounds like it’s paying off.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
As Jessica parked in front of her aunt’s house, she looked at Kyle’s truck, which was parked nearby. Bracing herself to see him face to face, she got out of the car and climbed the porch steps. She knew if she had any hope of coming to terms with how things had turned out, as her aunt had said, she needed to make the first move to face Kyle. Though what he’d said the day before had hurt deeply, she had to put that aside and recognize that even if Kyle didn’t care about her, Alex did.
Jessica walked into the house, set her purse on the entry table, and started walking up the stairs toward her aunt’s bedroom where Kyle was working. Halfway up she paused, thinking about the disc with the pictures on it. Maybe I should give it to him now, she thought. But when she visualized him with his daughter the night before, she couldn’t bring herself to give him the disc. Somehow doing so would be acknowledging the reality of his daughter’s existence and she just couldn’t do it. Not yet.
She sighed, and continued up the stairs. As she entered the bedroom, she heard the sound of some sort of power tool. “Kyle?” she called out. There was no response. Wondering if he was ignoring her, or if he couldn’t hear her, she followed the sounds into the bathroom and found him kneeling on the floor, attaching something to the floor. His back was to her, and she saw a thin cord going from an iPod in his pocket to his ears.
“Kyle?” she said loudly. He didn’t seem to hear her, so she reached out and touched his shoulder. A tingle went through her, but it was quickly forgotten in his reaction.
He jumped, dropping his drill, and twisted around, pulling the ear buds out of his ears. “Holy crap, Jessica. Don’t sneak up on me like that. I could have messed up my work or hurt myself.”
Stung by his scolding, she struck out. “Well maybe if you didn’t have your music so loud you would have heard me calling you from right behind you.”
He sighed, then shook his head. “What do you want, anyway?”
Jessica pursed her lips, feeling stupid now for interrupting him. “I wanted to see how things were going.”
“That couldn’t have waited?”
“My aunt’s paying you a lot of money to do this work, and she asks me all the time how it’s going. Plus, she might be coming home next week, so it would be really nice if you were done.” Jessica paused, thinking it would be nice if she didn’t have to see him anymore.
He stood and faced her. “No one wants this job to be done more than me, and I’m going as fast as I can, but I want to make sure it’s done right.”
Though Jessica was in a hurry for him to finish, she didn’t know why he would be. His life seemed perfect with his girlfriend and daughter. “Do you have another job waiting for you? Is that why you want this one to be done?”
He looked away, then looked back at her. “As a matter of fact, no, I don’t have another job lined up yet. But don’t you think it’s kind of awkward for the two of us to be around each other?”
Here we go, Jessica thought. “I’m sorry if it makes you feel uncomfortable to work in my aunt’s house while I’m here.”
“It doesn’t bother you?” he asked, his eyes locked on hers.
Flustered by the direct way he looked at her, Jessica broke eye contact first. “I think we both know that we can’t dwell on the past.” She lifted her gaze to see his reaction, and saw his jaw clench for a moment.
“Well, I’m glad you’ve moved on,” he said.
Jessica was about to say something about him moving on too, when she heard the doorbell. She stood there, not wanting to end the conversation just yet.
“Jessica?” Alex called from downstairs.
“Sounds like your boyfriend’s here,” Kyle said, his face hard.
“Yes, he’s taking me to lunch.” For some reason, she needed Kyle to know that someone cared about her, even if he didn’t.
“I’ve got a lot of work to do.” He turned his back on her, pushed the ear buds into his ears, and knelt on the floor.
Jessica stared a
t his back a moment, wishing she had never come to talk to him at all, then turned and left the room. Stopping at the head of the stairs, she called down to Alex. “I’ll be right there.” Then she went into her bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. Patting her face dry, she looked in the mirror and saw her flushed cheeks.
Why does he have to be so mean to me? He’s the one who left me. He acts like I was the one who left him. Feeling angry at his unreasonable response, Jessica took a moment to calm her emotions before leaving the bathroom and going down the stairs to face Alex.
“How’s your day going?” Alex asked.
“Okay, I suppose.”
He pulled his hand out from behind his back and held out a beautiful arrangement of flowers. “Maybe these will help.”
His attentiveness warmed her. “You’re so thoughtful. Thank you.”
“Anything for you, Jessica.”
She took them from him and breathed in their fragrant scent. “They’re beautiful.”
“Not nearly as beautiful as you,” he said softly.
Jessica smiled, his words brightening her mood. “Let me find something to put them in.” She went into the kitchen and pulled out another pitcher, then placed the flowers inside before adding some water.
“Doesn’t your aunt have any vases?” Alex asked, leaning against the counter.
“I asked her the same thing earlier and she said she put them in storage. I’m going to dig them out later today.” She smiled as she set the new flower arrangement on the counter. “Especially if you plan on giving me any more flowers.”
He swiftly walked around the counter and put his arms around her. “I plan on giving you whatever you want.” He lifted her chin with one finger, then lowered his mouth toward hers.
Startled by how quickly things had moved, it took her a moment to react. She pulled away just before their lips met.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, clearly confused by her response.
“I’m just not ready, Alex. I need more time.”
“Oh. Well, I’m sorry if I misread . . .”
She smiled tightly. “That’s okay.”
They stood there for a moment.
“I have something special planned for lunch today,” he said.
“Oh?” Jessica was glad he was able to move past the awkward moment so easily.
He nodded and grinned, then appraised her clothes. “I think that will work. But you might want to put on a pair of sneakers.”
Intrigued now, she glanced at her jeans and blouse. “What do you have planned?”
“You’ll just have to come with me to find out.”
Jessica smiled, glad to having something to look forward to for a change. “Okay. Give me a second to change my shoes.”
A short time later they pulled up to a bicycle store. Puzzled that they were stopping there, she waited for Alex to explain, but he just smiled and walked around to her side of the car and opened the door. “What’s going on?” she asked.
“This way, please.”
More curious than ever, Jessica let Alex help her out of the car, then went with him into the store.
“Ah, I see you have the bike ready,” Alex said to the man behind the counter.
Jessica’s eyes widened as she took in the tandem bicycle. Her mind filled with memories of other bike rides she and Alex had taken, and warmth for him rushed through her.
“Let’s get the seat adjusted for you, Jessica,” Alex said, a satisfied grin on his face. He leaned toward her. “Surprised?”
“Yes,” she laughed. “Very much.”
As the worker adjusted the seat to fit Jessica comfortably, Alex went out to his car, but came back a moment later with a picnic basket, which he strapped to the back of the bicycle.
“We don’t want to forget our helmets,” Alex said, handing one to Jessica.
She snapped it into place.
A few minutes later they wheeled the bike outside.
“Where are we going to go?” she asked.
“I scouted out a good picnic spot earlier. It’s just a few miles down the road.”
As Jessica considered how much effort he’d put into this lunch, a feeling of affection swept over her and she felt more positive about the two of them getting back together.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yep.” She climbed on the bike, and when Alex had done the same, they pushed off and began pedaling down the road.
“What do you think of this bike, Jessica?”
“It’s really fun. I wonder why we never tried a tandem bike before.”
“I don’t know, but we make a good team. Look how well we’re doing.”
She laughed as they sped down the road, enjoying the breeze in her face.
“We’re here,” Alex called out a little while later.
Jessica gently applied the brakes and they came to a stop next to a meadow lined with large trees. “This is beautiful, Alex. I’ve never really noticed it before. How did you find it?”
He grinned, obviously pleased with himself. “I talked to some locals who gave me directions to the general area, then I drove around until I found this spot.”
They leaned the bike against a nearby tree, then Alex unstrapped the picnic basket and held out his free hand toward her. Hesitating for only a moment, Jessica took it. The warmth of his skin on hers felt good, and when he gently squeezed her hand, she could feel his love in the gesture.
They walked to a shady spot and Alex took a blanket out of the basket, then spread it on the ground. They sat down and Jessica watched him as he began taking food out of the basket. The thick fringe of dark lashes emphasized the blue of his eyes and as she observed him, she remembered all the good times they’d had together and how much she had cared about him.
We can have that again, she realized, warming at the thought.
As they ate lunch, Jessica kept waiting for Alex to broach the subject of their relationship, but he didn’t, instead keeping the conversation casual. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed.
Once they’d finished eating, Alex cleaned up. “Do you want to go on a longer bike ride? I rented the bike for the entire day.”
Jessica wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. Though her feelings for him were becoming more optimistic, she was worried about leading him to believe that she was ready for more when she was so uncertain. “That sounds like fun, but I haven’t gotten any work done today, so I really need to get back.”
“Okay. I understand.” He paused. “Do you think you can get away for dinner tonight?”
Hesitating, she finally said, “I think that should work.”
They rode the bike back to the bicycle shop, then Alex drove to her aunt’s house and walked her to the front door.
“Thank you for going on that picnic lunch with me,” he said, regarding her with obvious emotion.
The strength of his feelings was irresistible and drew her in. “I had a really good time,” she said. He reached out and stroked her cheek, and she pressed her face against his hand. He stepped toward her and she didn’t move, suddenly desiring the physical contact he was offering.
“Jessica,” he whispered as his hand moved from her cheek to her neck, then he gently pulled her closer.
She tilted her head toward him and he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. The softness of his mouth sent a wave of heat through her body. Surprised at her reaction, she let herself be enveloped by his arms. It felt so good to be wanted.
A click sounded nearby, and though it had a familiarity to it, she was too caught up in the moment for it to register. Alex finally released her mouth from his and she found herself wanting more. Jessica gazed at him, but he looked toward the door. She looked that way as well and was mortified to see Kyle standing in the doorway, staring at her, his eyes cold.
Kyle looked at Alex. “Excuse me.”
Alex, oblivious to the tension, laughed. “No problem.”
He stepped back so that Kyle co
uld pass. Jessica stepped back as well, though Kyle ignored her as he walked out the door and toward his truck.
Once Kyle had passed, Alex stepped toward Jessica. “Where were we?”
Any desire Jessica had felt seconds before had fled. “I’d better get to work, Alex. Thanks for lunch.”
Confusion clouded his features. “Is everything okay?”
No, everything was definitely not okay, she thought. It hadn’t occurred to her that Kyle would see her in a passionate embrace with Alex. But why should he care? He has Melanie now. Why should he be able to be happy but I’m not allowed to be? “Everything’s fine,” she said as she purposely threw her arms around Alex’s neck and tilted her face to invite a kiss.
He leaned down and gave her a prolonged kiss before pulling away and smiling down at her. “I’ll see you later this evening.”
“Okay.”
He grinned, and as he walked away, her eyes slid in Kyle’s direction and she saw him surreptitiously watching her. She pretended not to notice him, and waved to Alex as he got into his car.
As soon as he drove away, she went into the house and into the kitchen, wanting to avoid Kyle when he came back inside. Staring at the two pitchers of flowers that Alex had brought, she tried to sort out her feelings.
The picnic lunch had been a fun surprise, and by the end of it she had felt some of the familiar spark, and when he’d kissed her she had definitely felt attracted to him. But when she’d realized Kyle had witnessed her kissing Alex, she’d almost felt like she’d betrayed Kyle.
And what was up with Kyle’s reaction? She thought. He had almost seemed jealous. But why in the world would he feel jealous when he has Melanie and his daughter? Does he think only he deserves to be happy and I don’t deserve to have anyone?
The thought angered her and she was glad she’d given Alex the final kiss right in front of Kyle. She needed him to know that she had gone on with her life.
As Jessica stared at the flowers, she decided that even though she really did need to work, right now she was going into the attic to search for her aunt’s vases.
Chapter Twenty-Three
As Jessica passed her aunt’s bedroom on the way to the attic, she heard the sound of Kyle hard at work and felt her face flush as she thought about how it must have looked to him to see her kissing Alex so passionately. But then she wondered why it mattered to her what he thought.
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