Take Me Out

by Dawn Robertson

  “Sure, head on down. Mi casa, bro,” Dallas said and I could hear the excitement in his voice.

  “You bet your ass your casa is my casa, I pay for that casa, bitch!” And like that I was leaving Boston and Charlotte behind.

  I flew down I-95 on my bike, hoping no asshole New Yorkers would run me off the road. God only knew how some of these fucking clowns ended up with their driver’s license. The wind running along my body gave me a sense of clarity with the whole Charlotte situation. It was exactly what I needed.

  It wasn’t long ‘til I was pulling into the Greenwich Village neighborhood that my little brother lived in. As I pulled up outside his brownstone, I revved the throttle of my bike and he came barreling out of the front door like a little kid on Christmas morning. I was always surprised he loved me so much still, despite my bailing on him as soon as I could get out of that house. Maybe, in the long run, he understood why I couldn’t stay.

  I think I was so comfortable with leaving him on his own at school because he was finally away from that trash bag we called a mother. Once he was on the East Coast, I knew she couldn’t get her grubby paws on him anymore. That was my goal when I encouraged him to go to NYU. Well, that and his brains. The kid was a genius.

  His apartment was exactly the way I left it decorated when he moved in at the start of the school year. It was cleaner than my apartment back in Boston.

  We sat around and caught up for a couple of hours and it felt like old times. I checked out his final grades for the school year and of course he beamed like a little kid because he made me proud. But he could tell there was something off with me. Being the one who raised him, we had an unbreakable bond that had been tested many times over the years, mostly by our mother.

  “Bentley, why are you really here?” His question took me off guard. Was I that transparent?

  “Dude, you don’t even want to know everything I’ve gotten myself into and all over a girl too!”

  His eyes were wide with amazement. “A girl?”

  “Yeah, a girl. A girl I’ve known for like a minute and a half. It’s bad.”

  I wanted dinner, but this story was complicated enough that it would take all night to tell. We ordered take-out and I explained everything that had gone on from the first night at Fenway Park up to the other night in the bar with Dena, or as Charlie called her Miss Fake Tits.

  I had slept with Dena back during my freshman year at BU and never called her again. Like most of the women I had hooked up with over the years, it was a chance meeting in the bar and she was all over me. I figured it couldn’t hurt to cop a couple cheap feels before I headed home for the night. I had no plans to pick her up. It would break my unwritten rule of only having sex once with these girls. It may have made me a complete dick, but it kept things from getting complicated. When you banged them more than once, they automatically started thinking a guy wanted more, or that they actually had a chance for more. Neither of which would ever happen.

  There was never a desire for more on my side. Until Charlotte of course. There was just something different about her. I needed more. I wanted her to be mine forever. One night would never be enough.

  And I had fucked that all up already.

  With my thoughts eating me alive, Dallas chimed back in, “So, what are you going to do to get her back? I mean, you’re pretty much in love with her. You can’t just let her walk away.”

  My little brother saw right through me. There were no walls I could put up to keep him out, because he knew me better than anyone.

  “I’m not so sure about love, but whatever it was I feel for Charlie... it’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life-- especially for a woman.”

  We spent the week hitting up all the normal tourist attractions: Ground Zero, The Empire State Building and Central Park. I spent the entire time trying to get my mind off of Charlie. I wasn’t sure what I should do, but I only had one day to think about it before I went back to Boston.

  Even though I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t hide in New York forever. I knew Charlotte wanted nothing to do with me, but I had to e-mail her. She was on my mind and I missed her like crazy.

  To: Charlotte A. Windsor

  Subject: I’m Still Sorry

  Date: May 24 10:10

  From: BE.Young@BU.Edu

  I know you have no desire to talk to me, but I just wanted to let you know you’re still on my mind. I’m in New York right now and I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I hope you are enjoying your summer.

  -B

  I knew I would be back in a day. I knew I wouldn’t see her and she wouldn’t reply. Maybe I just wanted to see if there was the chance she would.

  Then I looked on Facebook and it felt like someone had stabbed me in my chest. My emotions were flying all over the place.

  Charlotte’s Facebook status had been updated with a quote from Tupac Shakur about overanalyzing situations, picking up the pieces and just moving the fuck on.

  Over-analyzing and pieces? Yeah that hit the nail right on the head except instead of her moving on, I wish she would talk to me at the very least.

  Minutes later, she checked in on Foursquare with some guy named Landon. The door of opportunity before me was slowly closing. The chance for love and a different life was vanishing. All I wanted to do was break everything in sight. If I was in my own apartment, I probably would have. I regretted ever getting involved with her. I wasn’t cut out for relationships. I wasn’t cool, patient or level-headed.

  Dallas calmed me down and told me exactly what to do.

  I logged into my Twitter account and poured my heart out in 140 characters. Leave it to the eighteen year old to suggest Twitter as my cure all.

  Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars.

  I hoped Charlotte would see it. Maybe she’d think I was moving on too and be just as hurt as me. Wishful thinking once again.

  I was ready to be back in Boston, but tonight I would have a good time with my brother so he believed I was going to be okay.

  I sat at the bar as my brother danced with some hot little blonde with a tight ass. He’d grown up so much and I was happy to see him holding his own with the ladies. He was probably the best looking out of all three of us brothers.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a leggy red head trying desperately to get my attention. The perfect distraction from my own thoughts. “Let me buy you a drink,” I said as I put out my hand to introduce myself. “Bentley Young”

  “Nice to meet you Bentley, Molly McNeil.”

  As the evening went on, the alcohol flowed. When Dallas was ready to leave, he had that stunning blonde on his arm. I figured I would stick around the bar for a while and let him have a little fun before I went back to his apartment and possibly make the situation awkward.

  But the red-head, Molly, had different ideas. “Let’s get out of here. Come back to my place?” Her breath was warm against my ear as she tried to be sultry, but she came across as easy.

  With the heaviness I was still reeling from, I left with Molly on my arm, knowing every moment with her I would be wishing she was Charlotte.

  I followed her to her apartment on my motorcycle, pulling it up on the sidewalk in front of her building. When she got out of her car, she grabbed my hand and slowly led me into the lobby. We waited for the elevator in awkward silence. Once inside the elevator, she pushed me up against the wall roughly pressing her mouth against mine. The floors flew by until we hit the fourth and stumbled down the hallway to her door.

  After a hot and heavy make-out session, Molly moved her way down my body and unbuckled my belt with her teeth. Next thing I knew, she was going down on me like her life depended on it. If I didn’t have Charlotte in the back of my mind, I would have gotten into it.

  A couple deep throats and I was done. I came all over her face, in her mouth and a little on her tits. She loved every minute of it from her comments. I got up and buttoned my pants, fixed my belt and kissed her
one last time before walking out her door to head back to Dallas’s apartment, still wishing it had been Charlotte’s mouth on my dick.

  As I made it down the hall of her apartment building, I could hear Molly chasing after me. I didn’t look back. How could she not know what she was getting into with a guy like me at a bar? She was just your average bar slut. Did she think I was going to hang around? Set up house with her?

  As I reached my bike at the curb, I looked back and saw her half dressed in the doorway of her building. “Did you really expect anything more than this?”

  I fired up my Indian and peeled out of the parking spot, never looking back. Yup, I am a dick.

  Once I got to Dallas’s, I passed out praying the next morning I would forget about it all.

  Chapter 5

  Self-Preservation

  (Charlotte)

  Charlotte Windsor

  Men Don’t Matter!

  I’ve decided to focus on myself. I don’t need any men in my life this summer. I am going to focus on being young, wild and free!

  I have one last year of college and I won’t get involved with someone who isn’t worthy of my time. Here’s to being a strong independent woman!

  Nearly a month had gone by and I did my best to ignore Bentley after the incident at the bar. We were no good for each other, but I couldn’t help but think about him all the time. He had e-mailed me several times but I didn’t even bother to read them. The moment we talked, my guard would be back down and I would end up getting hurt again. I could only hope he was hurting as much as I was.

  My heart had been so heavy over the past month. Every time an e-mail alert went off or I saw him put up a new status on Facebook, a little bit more chipped away. I had never cared for anyone like this other than family. It was a feeling I could certainly live without.

  I had gone out with Landon a couple of times, but we seemed like friends more than lovers. Once I said I was celibate his whole attitude towards me changed. I enjoyed his company, but it was nothing like the way I felt when I was with Bentley. Not to mention that no matter who I spent time with, I found myself comparing them to Bentley. The little bit of time I had spent with him had set an unrealistic standard for any other person in the future. I couldn’t stop myself from wondering what would have happened if I had just taken the time to talk to him.

  I could never figure out what it was, but Landon... there was something off about him. With my past, I’d become a very good judge of character. I could pin screwy people a mile away and despite his looks, he was a few French fries short of a Happy Meal.

  How could two men have made me so damn crazy when all I wanted to do was focus on myself? No matter what I was doing, Bentley was on my mind even though I hadn’t seen him in a month.

  Shay had been trying to pull me out of my man-induced funk and we headed to Fenway for a night of beer and baseball. She always knew how to cheer me up. By the time the baseball game ended, with the Sox losing to Tampa Bay, I was more than ready to go home. Nothing was worse than a losing baseball game when you really needed that win to boost your personal morale -- especially to the Rays.

  We headed out of the park onto Yawkey Way and my mood changed instantly. I’m not sure what it was, but something just clicked. With everyone partying around me, I wanted to party too. I had spent far too much time sulking over stupid boys. Thinking about just how much time I had wasted thinking about them fueled my fire. I was mad at myself for letting them screw with my emotions, for letting them take up so much of my time and for even caring in the first place.

  Boston Beer Works was exactly the place to turn my mood around. Shay followed along like a lost child, not wanting to tell me no, since I was having a good time. It was late for her, but I’d been such a spoil sport lately. She wouldn’t dare complain.

  “Are you sure you want to go out? Remember the last time?” Shay asked, a hint of condescension in her voice.

  “I’m not driving and you’re here with me,” I pointed out, knowing Shay really did have my best interests at heart. “Come on, I wanna have a little fun! Tonight’s a night to let our hair down and really live!”

  As soon as we walked in, I headed directly to the bar, placed my credit card on the counter and ordered a round of shots. Once Shay saw me start the tab, she knew it was going to be a long night. Not as discreet as she thought she was being, she slipped her phone out and called for backup. Half an hour later, Jake was by our sides. In an interesting change from his norm, Jake was alone. I knew that wouldn’t last long; there was no chance Jake would go home alone.

  The bar was packed with the post-game crowd who had left the stadium. It was hot and muggy. Bodies were everywhere and every few minutes someone was grabbing my ass, thinking it was okay to grope random women. Any other night, I would have gone home but I was determined to make the most of the night and forget everything else on my mind.

  I drank and danced, then drank some more. I flirted with any guy who came within ten feet of me. I was well on my way to drunk when I caught the smell of husky cologne and fresh soap. It stirred something inside me and I knew the man behind me who smelled that heavenly would be my next dance partner for the evening. I spun around, only to see Bentley staring at me, every bit as shocked as I was. “You smell good,” I screamed over the crowd. I turned back towards the bar, not waiting to hear his response. Yeah, because acting like nothing ever happened was going to work just fine. I was going to give it a good try, but I knew in my head it wasn’t going to work. I was an idiot.

  “Bar keep, another shot and a beer,” I demanded.

  Shay crept up next to me. “You want to leave now?” Her eyes drifted to Bentley and then back to me. I knew she was looking for a reason, any reason, to get out of there. She didn’t really care for the bar scene, but I wasn’t going anywhere. I was playing a game and needed to win against Bentley.

  “No way! I’m not letting any man ruin my night,” I proclaimed in a cocky tone. I was building up my liquid courage, something I hadn’t done often, not since outgrowing my younger, wilder days.

  If I had a dime for every fake ID I’d had confiscated over the years, I wouldn’t need my father’s money. When I turned around, Bentley was directly behind me, looking upset. “Can we go someplace and talk?”

  “Sure, I was just heading out to the dance floor.” Against my better judgment, I pulled him along behind me. Hell, all my judgment was gone by then. That’s what whiskey does to most people.

  I danced my ass off while Bentley tried his best to keep up with me. I was shaking in all the right places, trying my damnedest to turn him on. When I felt his growing erection against my ass, I knew it was working.

  Seduction was my way of trying to fix the situation-- a drunk’s temporary solution of course.

  “Charlotte, please can we leave and go someplace quiet? I want to talk to you about what happened,” Bentley begged, placing his hands on my shoulders to keep me from dancing for a few seconds.

  I leaned in close to him, knowing how much he wanted me. I licked his ear then whispered, “Was she good? Like really good?” I placed my lips right against his ear so I knew he could hear me. His breath hitched and I wasn’t sure if it was from my breath grazing the sensitive skin on his neck or if the words themselves stung. Part of me hoped it was because the words felt like knives to his heart, just like I had felt when Shay texted me the pictures of him. “Or just one of those one-and-dones?” I couldn’t help myself. This was a fight that had been brewing for a month and my drunken state made me ready to confront him.

  “It wasn’t like that,” he sighed. His shoulders slumped forward slightly as he leaned down so he was looking me in the eye. “Nothing happened. Since the night I stayed with you, I haven’t seen anyone else except for her that night. And I walked out on her because I realized it upset you.” He might as well have been on his knees begging me. As much as I wanted to, I wasn’t sure I could believe a word he was saying. His reputation didn’t allow for me to think h
e was the type of guy who would stop sleeping around after simply sharing a bed with a girl for one night.

  I knew I was being bitchy about the situation. I mean, everyone had a past and I couldn’t hold his against him. Maybe he really had changed. If people held my shitty choices against me, I would really be screwed in life. Plus, I’d been seeing Landon. Granted, I never groped him in public, but I’d been with him the same night Bentley had been with the bimbo in the bar.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I whispered in his ear. It was time to talk and a crowded bar wasn’t the place to do that.

  I headed towards the counter to collect my credit card, Shay and Jake, before he got himself into as much trouble as I was determined to get into before the night’s end. Shay watched carefully as we walked to my apartment, making sure Bentley didn’t make any unwelcome advances. As protective as she was being, I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried out some of her karate moves on him.

  “Why did you invite him back to the apartment?” Shay hissed in my ear, making sure she was quiet enough that Bentley couldn’t hear her.

  I didn’t have a good answer for her. “I need to see where this goes, I guess.” If I’d been honest with myself, I would have realized I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I just wanted him there with me.

  The entire thing was going to be a disaster, another reason I had ignored him for a month. The moment I saw him my guard was down. By the time we reached the lobby of our building, I was exhausted. It had been a long day and I’d had way too much to drink. It was all catching up with me and I needed to either go to sleep or pass out, I wasn’t sure which. I just hoped it wouldn’t be preceded by me throwing up.