by Lydia Kang
Hippocrates wrote quite extensively on hysteria, a term later coined in the nineteenth century. Basically placing all female health problems on the shoulders of a “wandering uterus,” he declared that women could cure a whole host of illnesses through sex. The uterus, satisfied by sexual activity, would stop wandering around and making women sick. Bonus points if you got pregnant. But you had to be married. Virgins, widows, and single women were on their own. Hey, you can’t heal everyone.
Hippocrates also thought that having sex would widen a woman’s birth canal, leading to a cleaner and healthier body. He was kind of on the right track there. Recent research suggests that women who have wider birth canals, either by design or as a by-product of childbirth, often have less painful menstrual cramps.
In general, Hippocrates advocated that women get married and enjoy an active sex life to stay healthy. On the other hand, many doctors—namely Greece’s Soranus and Rome’s Galen—advocated abstinence for women’s health. Of course, these were male doctors.
It would be another thousand years before women would be allowed to come to their own conclusions about their sexual health (much less actually practice medicine), but finally in eleventh-century Italy, we find Trota of Salerno, the first female doctor in medieval Europe. Trota was also the first writer to point out that sexual diseases were perhaps a bit intimate for female patients to discuss with their overwhelmingly male physicians. She viewed abstinence as a cause of illness and advised an active sex life within the bounds of marriage. She also recommended musk oil and mint to placate sexual desire, if need be. Musk oil and mint not your thing? Not to worry. Maybe the Victorians can offer something that’s more your style.
Spank Your Way to Fertility
According to Virgil, during the Roman feast of Lupercalia, basically a public orgy, naked men roamed the streets spanking any woman they came across. The Romans also believed that spanking a new bride—to the accompaniment of cymbals, no less—was a surefire way to guarantee her fertility. This belief even made its way into a Shakespeare play. In Julius Caesar, which starts off in the midst of a Lupercalia festival, Caesar himself instructs Mark Antony to “touch” (read: spank) his wife Calpurnia so that she will conceive:
Forget not, in your speed, Antonius, To touch Calpurnia; for our elders say, The barren, touched in this holy chase, Shake off their sterile curse.
Man spanking woman in the hopes of producing an heir.
The Victorians to the Rescue!
The notion of female hysteria likely reached its cultural zenith in the Victorian era, when women were repeatedly diagnosed with the condition for a wide array of generic symptoms, including fatigue, anxiety, and mild depression. The epidemic reached such epic levels during the second half of the nineteenth century that Dr. Russell Trall, a hydrotherapist, made the bold declaration that 75 percent of women in the United States suffered from hysteria. The cure? A “pelvic massage” of enough vigor to eventually induce a “hysterical paroxysm.” The Victorians were masters at the pseudonym. Indeed, according to some historians, women were prescribed genital massages—conducted by their male doctors (!)—to induce orgasm.
Now, you’d think that this might be part of some sort of large-scale mass delusion with a Freudian wet dream of sexual undertones. But here’s the kicker: Physicians didn’t think there was anything sexual about their “pelvic massages.” In fact, they were kind of annoyed at having to do them at all. Doctors complained that the correct technique was very difficult to learn and was time consuming to boot. Some exhausted physicians reported a pelvic massage took about an hour to successfully perform and led to cases of “wrist-ache.”
Orgasm! The key to health.
Lest we pity our poor Victorian doctors, laboriously massaging the genitals of their female patients, an important invention was about to come to their rescue: the electromechanical vibrator.
This device was no joke. Weighing in at forty pounds, it was powered by a wet cell battery and came with an assortment of little add-ons called “vibratodes.” Invented by Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville in the late nineteenth century, the vibrators were a hit with doctors because they reduced the time needed to obtain an orgasm from an hour to about five minutes.
“Why, I say, Doctor, this all seems a bit … forward.”
Little did the physicians know, however, that they were cutting themselves out of the picture. As soon as vibrators became even remotely portable, a burgeoning kitchen industry in the manufacture and sale of household vibrators sprang onto a fertile market. Soon, the modern woman of the early twentieth century could order a personal vibrator for a few dollars from the Sears catalog. It certainly beat paying your doctor to get you off, and it wasn’t long before physicians stopped offering pelvic massages.
“Why, I say, Doctor, this all seems a bit … forward.”
The vibrator was enormously popular, becoming the fifth electrical appliance introduced to the modern home. Let that sink in for a minute. Electricity comes along and pretty soon to keep up with the Joneses you needed a tea kettle, a sewing machine, a fan, a toaster, and … a vibrator.
The advertisements, which ran in all the leading women’s magazines, as well as the general supply catalogs such as Sears, contained the wonderful hyperbole of the era: “The secret of the ages has been discovered in Vibration. Great scientists tell us that we owe not only our health but even our life strength to this wonderful force. Vibration promotes life and vigour, strength and beauty … Vibrate Your Body and Make It Well. YOU Have No Right to Be Sick.”
Granville’s vibrator (left) with battery. Hook her up to this contraption and see what happens next.
The concept of female hysteria as a diagnosable illness faded away as the twentieth century marched forward. Always something of a catchall diagnosis, as psychoanalytical techniques improved, hysteria diagnoses declined. In its place rose diagnoses of depression and anxiety, as well as cases of epilepsy, schizophrenia, personality disorder, and conversion disorder.
The wink-wink ruse of vibrators as strictly medical devices was ruined by early porn films in the 1920s introducing viewers to … nonmedical uses of them. The idea that vibrators were just oh-so-simple medical devices had run its course. The jig was up. Vibrators had moved firmly over to the sex toys side of the equation.
Other Sex Toys in the Medicine Cabinet
Of course, vibrators weren’t the only sex toys on the market. In the 1890s, advertisements began cropping up in medical journals for Dr. Young’s Ideal Rectal Dilators. Made of rubber and sold in sets of four that increased in size from one-half inch in diameter to four inches, the dilators were, well, Victorian butt plugs sold under the guise of health aids. The advertisements claimed that rectal dilators were particularly useful for cases of chronic constipation and piles (hemorrhoids), proclaiming, “If you will prescribe a set of these dilators in some of your obstinate cases of Chronic Constipation, you will find them necessary in every case of this kind.” Priced at $2.50 “to the profession.”
Rectal dilators come in a set of varying sizes so you may slowly broaden your, er … health benefits.
Dr. Young’s Ideal Rectal Dilators were sold from the late nineteenth century until the 1940s, when the US Attorney for the Southern District of New York seized a shipment of the devices for being misleadingly labeled. No longer content with simply advertising the rectal dilators as constipation cures, the manufacturing company went on, in the usual way of quacks, to add a seemingly endless series of medical claims to their packaging. The company even promised to cure, of all things, foul breath and bad tastes in the mouth. The instructions also boldly declared “Do not neglect to use your Dilators … you need have no fear of using them too much.”
The FDA disagreed, arguing that the claims that the dilators would permanently cure constipation and piles were not accurate. In fact, a dilator is about the last thing you want to be messing with during a hemorrhoid attack. The FDA also declared they were dangerous to health if used too frequent
ly or for too long. The shipment was destroyed, and Dr. Young’s Ideal Rectal Dilators ceased production. Don’t worry, though, you can still find reproductions on the Internet.
The Orgone Box
Not long after the downfall of rectal dilators, a psychologist with an entrancing philosophy about sexual energy emerged to influence Western culture. Dr. Wilhelm Reich, a member of the second wave of post-Freud psychoanalysts, developed a complex theory about a universal life force he called “orgone,” the same universal life force acupuncturists might refer to as “qi,” or simply “The Force” to Star Wars enthusiasts. Reich argued that orgone was present in all living matter and that many diseases were the result of orgone flow being either restricted or not available in sufficient quantities.
The best way to build and share orgone energy? Sex. As such, Reich argued strongly for sexual liberation, tying it to complex philosophies about the working-class revolution as well. He viewed the libido as an essential life-affirming force that was constantly being repressed by the state.
Reich wasn’t exactly a hit with conservatives.
He was a hit, however, with the budding countercultural movement in post–World War II America. The Beat Generation embraced his ideas and, particularly, his box. His orgone box. Reich’s Orgone Institute built and sold (for donation only) “orgone boxes,” also known as “orgone energy accumulators.” They were basically large empty boxes that you would stand or sit in for hours at a time. They were built with alternating layers of organic and nonorganic materials inside the walls, which, we are told, increased the accumulation of orgone energy in the box. Feeling a bit depressed? Low on energy? You could simply sit inside your orgone box for a few hours, build up your orgone reserves, and feel a lot better again. They were also apparently a great way to accumulate sexual energy (i.e., increase orgone levels) by building up your libido through sitting for a long time and having your orgones reflected back at you. Well, hey, after sitting in a box for four hours, sex undoubtedly felt pretty awesome.
Now just sit in this box until you feel aroused.
Considering that we are literally talking about an empty box to sit in, the orgone boxes were surprisingly popular for a brief period of time. Albert Einstein was even lured into trying one out, but he quickly lost patience with the box—and with Reich’s theories in general—after a short stint inside. William S. Burroughs, the author of Naked Lunch, however, was a dyed-in-the-wool convert. He built his own orgone box (technically against the rules, but Burroughs wasn’t exactly a rule follower) and would spend hours inside as a way to reduce symptoms of “junk sickness” (i.e., heroin withdrawal). For that purpose, orgone boxes may indeed have worked quite well.
Burroughs even introduced Nirvana singer Kurt Cobain to an orgone box, and a photo floats around the Internet to this day of Cobain waving and smiling from the inside. The singer commented in 1993 that he had to have Burroughs kill all the spiders in the box, though, before he got in.
Eventually, Reich’s health claims for his orgone boxes drew the attention—and wrath—of the FDA, who obtained a federal injunction barring distribution of orgone materials. Reich was also tossed in jail for continuing to distribute his research and products across state lines, and much of his orgone research was destroyed. If you want to sit in an orgone box today, you might need to make one yourself. (Don’t worry, there are directions on the Internet.) Vintage orgone boxes from the Wilhelm Reich days are scarce, although you can still find one at the Reich Museum in Rangeley, Maine, if a trip to New England is in your future.
John Harvey Kellogg: Pro-Cereal, Anti-Masturbation
John Harvey Kellogg was a physician who founded a sanitarium in Battle Creek, Michigan, touting his way of healthy living. Name sound familiar? It’s because he, along with his brother Will, invented Kellogg’s Corn Flakes (originally called Granula). Kellogg’s ideas for healthy eating and weight maintenance made some sense—plenty of exercise, no excessive calories, vegetarianism, and abstinence from alcohol and tobacco. Another thing Kellogg vehemently thought you should abstain from? Masturbation. He hated it and thought it was the unhealthiest thing you could possibly do for your body, mind, and soul. In his 1877 book, Plain Facts for Old and Young, Kellogg discusses in detail the evils of what he called “self-abuse” and “unchastity.”
Diet was, predictably from the creator of Corn Flakes, one major way to cure masturbatory habits. He wrote, “A man that lives on pork, fine-flour bread, rich pies and cakes, and condiments, drinks tea and coffee, and uses tobacco, might as well try to fly as to be chaste in thought.” Also, never overeat. “Gluttony is fatal to chastity,” he wrote, also regarding all spices and pickles as evil. Apparently, a world without pickles is as unsexually stimulating as you can get.
Kellogg’s predecessor, Sylvester Graham, claimed that white bread was devoid of nutrients and recommended a flour product without additives. The bread was soon made into crackers in 1829, eaten in great quantities by “Grahamites” who practiced the Graham Diet—vegetarian, with lots of whole wheat and high-fiber foods. Oh, and no alcohol. The crackers were part of a plan to fight urges to masturbate, as well. Those original Graham crackers were a bit different from the sugar-laden ones we eat at campfires, together with toasted marshmallows and chocolate. If Graham and Kellogg could eat our s’mores, based on that original chaste cracker, they’d have probably had a death-inducing orgasm.
Sex Is Good for You
Even if you can’t find an orgone box, physicians have shown that you can enjoy significant medical benefits from a healthy sex life. And you don’t have to sit in a box for a few hours to build up your orgone levels first. Regular sex may improve your immune system, lower your blood pressure, improve your sleep, and lower your stress levels.
So grab your partner, blast some Marvin Gaye, and get it on.
23
Fasting
Of Fasting Saints, Starvation Heights, the “Brooklyn Enigma,” the Delicious Taste of Air, and the Deadly Past of a Popular Cleanse
The year 1908 was an important one in the life of “fasting specialist” Linda Hazzard. It was the year she authored her first book, Fasting for the Cure of Disease, which argued that fasting was a panacea for virtually every illness. It was also the first year a patient died under her supervision.
Linda Hazzard heading where she belonged.
Hazzard claimed that toxins were at the root of all disease and needed to be expunged via fasting. Her sanatorium in Olalla, Washington, was quickly dubbed “Starvation Heights” by locals as rumors trickled down of enemas that lasted for hours, pummeling massages, and diets that included nothing but miniscule amounts of tomato, asparagus, and orange juice for days on end. Although it may sound like the latest Goop-inspired celebrity fasting trend, it was actually a vicious, terrible dieting strategy, and a lot of people died from it. So don’t get any ideas.
The first patient to die under her care was Norwegian immigrant Daisey Haglund, who passed away from starvation-related complications at the age of thirty-eight. (Historical trivia side note: Daisey’s son, Ivar Haglund, who also had occasionally been subjected to Hazzard’s treatments, went on to found Ivar’s Seafood restaurants, a Seattle chain still in operation today. So order a huge meal next time you’re at Ivar’s in celebration of not starving yourself to death.)
Unfortunately, it would take four more years and the death of a wealthy British woman named Claire Williamson before the law finally caught up with Hazzard. Williamson’s weight at the time of her death?
Fifty pounds.
As a grown woman.
Claire’s sister, Dora, was still in Hazzard’s care at the time of her death. She had also dropped to close to fifty pounds, a weight so low that sitting was painful for her. After her sister’s death, Dora managed to smuggle out a telegram plea for help to her family. The younger Williamson was rescued from the sanatorium and Hazzard was brought up on charges of manslaughter.
Dora Williamson, whose weight had dropped close
to fifty pounds.
At the subsequent trial, it became clear that Hazzard had forged Claire Williamson’s will, while also helping herself to approximately $6,000 in jewelry from both sisters. It wasn’t an isolated incident: At least fourteen other patients died under Hazzard’s care, but not before she had either convinced them, in their weakened mental and physical states, to sign over their earthly possessions to her, or simply forged their wills herself.
Hazzard was convicted, sentenced to two to twenty years in prison, and released on parole a paltry two years later. To add insult to injury, she managed to obtain a pardon from the governor of Washington. Although she was banned from practicing medicine again, she did open a “school of health” in Olalla, where she continued to espouse the fasting gospel until 1938 when she died of starvation while attempting a fasting cure herself. At least she practiced what she preached.
The Curious Case of the Brooklyn Enigma
Mollie Fancher, aka “the Brooklyn Enigma,” was diagnosed with dyspepsia in 1864 when she was sixteen years old and just a few months shy of graduation from the Brooklyn Heights Seminary. Fancher’s dyspepsia symptoms, in addition to frequent fainting spells and a weakness of the chest, forced her to drop out of school.
Things only got worse from there. Later that year, Mollie was thrown from a horse, was knocked unconscious, and broke several ribs. A little more than a year later, her dress caught on the hook of a carriage, dragging her for a whole city block and once again knocking her unconscious and breaking several ribs.