by Everett, Ann
Tizzy’s other leg started to bounce.
Ridge took her hand and squeezed it.
“Ridge tells me you have two daughters. Did they come with you?” Tizzy asked Erica.
“No, they’re staying with friends. I understand you also have a daughter.”
“Yeah. Gracie. She’s almost four.”
Hazel smiled at Ridge. “Oh yes, we’ve heard all about Gracie. Ridge is quite taken with her.”
* * * * *
Back at their room, Ridge opened the door slowly. He took a deep breath, gathered his courage, and pulled Tizzy in for a kiss.
“Don’t try to make nice with me. I’m mad at you for ambushing me with your family,” she whispered.
“You shouldn’t be upset. The evening went great.”
“No, your mother hates me. She thinks I’m a slut because of this dress, and she’s right.”
Ridge laughed out loud. “Margie Lou, you’ve had sex with two men in your entire life. Darlin’, you almost give virgins a bad name.”
“Don’t joke, Ridge. I can tell when someone likes me and she was the only one at that table who didn’t.”
“My mother is distant and has a hard time showing affection. My dad was in charge of that department, but she doesn’t hate you. They all loved you; but even if they didn’t, I wouldn’t care, because I love you and I’m the only one who matters.
Before he gave her a chance to say anything, he swept her into his arms and kissed her again and again and when their lips parted, he knelt down.
“What are you doing? Get up, Ridge,” she said, trying to pull him to a standing position.
He reached into his jacket pocket and produced a small box and opened the lid. “I want to marry you, Tizzy. I love you.”
She stared down at an antique blue sapphire circled with diamonds. But when he started to place it on her finger, she pulled her hand away. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, the last time I checked, I think it was a one-word answer. But if you mean you’re speechless, I’ll accept a nod.”
“Oh, Ridge.”
He took a deep breath. “Oh my God. I never thought, never even considered for one second, you’d say no.”
“I’m not saying no.”
He stood and took a couple steps back. “Well, you’re sure as hell not saying yes,” he said, with some sting in his voice. “What are you afraid of? You love me. You haven’t said it, but I can tell you do.”
“Ridge, if you’re honest, you’ll agree. We barely know each other. We’ve only been a couple for a few weeks. I don’t even know trivial things about you. Your favorite color. Your faith. Your birthday. I’m not saying no. I’m saying we need more time together before we take such a big step.”
His body stiffened. “Do you think that’ll give us some kind of guarantee? Jenny and I had been together two years when we got married; and in my heart, I knew at the time that instead of taking the logical next step, I should have been stepping back. You knew Boone forever and you see how that turned out.”
“What do you mean?”
His lips tightened. “You fell in love with Boone when he was a boy. You married him when he was a man. You knew everything about him. But in the end, you didn’t know him at all. You never dreamed he would join the military. You never thought in a million years he’d put Marlene’s feelings over yours. You sure as hell didn’t think he’d ever be unfaithful to you. And by the time he left for duty you’d already started falling out of love with him and I know you still feel terrible guilt over it.”
“Maybe I don’t know your favorite color. But I know you, and you can take all the time in the world without ever finding a man who’ll love you the way I do.”
“Well, if you love me the way you say you do, you should be willing to give me some time.”
He interrupted. “You want time? Fine. I’ll give you time and space. Isn’t that what people say when they really just want out?”
She stepped forward and clasped his arm. “That’s not what I want.”
“Oh Really. What do you want, Tizzy? Do you even know? You want time? Time for what? To decide if you love me, if you wanna marry me, or if you just want me in your bed?” He shrugged his arm away and stepped to the door. “When you decide, let me know. I’m gonna go down and get a drink.”
“Please don’t be mad at me.”
He turned to face her. “God, Tizzy, don’t you understand? I’m not angry. I’m hurt. I guess I should have had you promise not to break my heart.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Tizzy cried until she was exhausted and fell into an uneasy sleep. She didn’t know when Ridge came to bed; but now, lying next to him, she could hear the rhythm of his breathing. When she shifted her body, unconsciously he reached out and pulled her close, spooning her.
Slowly she opened her eyes, tried to adjust to the dark and listen to the unfamiliar sounds. Someone was laughing quietly beyond the door. The clinking of dishes. The ding of the elevator. The squeak of a wheel rolling past. For a minute her head was fuzzy. Then she remembered the argument with Ridge and once again tears came. She tried to blink them away, but they escaped beneath her lashes, streamed down the side of her face, and fell onto her pillow.
What was she going to do? In two weeks, he was leaving. What did she know about him? She made a mental list: He was attractive. He was good with Gracie. He was kind. Fantastic in bed. A dynamite kisser. A good man. Her brain began to spin trying to process all her thoughts.
What if he squeezed the toothpaste in the middle? What if he had some weird habit she had yet to find out about or some deep, dark secret from his past? Or worse . . . what if he was a Republican?
She closed her eyes and tried to force the thoughts away. Ridge’s hand slid from her waist and he rolled over. He took a deep breath, sat up and swung his feet to the floor. He sat there a minute as if trying to clear his head, pounding no doubt, from his late night trip to the bar. Serves him right. Finally, he got up and went into the bathroom.
As soon as the shower started, she jumped up, pulled on her jeans, took two tee shirts from her luggage, and layered them on. Next, she strapped on her silver metallic sandals, and gathered her hair into a pony tail. She wouldn’t bother with make- up. She’d not seen the last of her tears, so why go to the trouble?
When the bathroom door opened, Tizzy’s heart raced. He was naked except for a towel wrapped around his waist. His body was still moist, his hair damp, and his face unshaven. She wanted to go to him. To tell him she was sorry. Yet, at the same time, she really wanted to give him a swift kick. He deserved it, after all, for tricking her into meeting his family.
“Morning,” he mumbled.
Tizzy’s chest ached. She tried to steady the quiver in her voice. “So, I guess we’re speaking?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t we be?”
A lump formed in the back of her throat, caused her to speak around it, barely above a whisper. “After last night, I wasn’t sure. Are you still mad at me?”
He moved to the end of the bed and sat down across from her. Resting his arms on his legs, he leaned forward and lifted his head to face her. “No. I’m not mad at you. Let’s go get some breakfast and we can talk.”
Too early for the breakfast crowd, they had their choice of seating. Ridge chose a corner table, and the waitress approached. “Well, good morning, Hon. How are you today? Nice to see you again.”
He smiled up at her. “You too, Fern.”
Tizzy quickly opened the menu and tried reading the selections. But she couldn’t concentrate on food when all she wanted to do was hear what Ridge had to say. He tipped the menu down and looked at her. “What would you like?”
What would I like? I’d like to go back to the way things were. I’d like for you to take me in your arms and hold me. I’d like to slap your face for setting me up with your family. I’d like for the case to never end so you’d never leave.
“The Belgian waffle sounds good
.”
Fern appeared at the table with the coffee pot, turned up their cups and filled them. “Y’all ready to order?”
“Yes. The lady will have the Belgian waffle with strawberries and extra whipped cream. I’ll have the Southwest Omelet.”
Fern took the menus and walked away.
Tizzy reached across the table and touched his hand. “Do you think just for today we can pretend last night never happened?”
She stroked his fingers for a moment before he pulled his hand away. “No. I can’t pretend I don’t love you,” he said, his eyes drifting away from her. “But, I can respect your needing more time. I won’t pressure you. I’ll back off. I understand I can’t make you feel something you don’t.”
She sucked in a quick breath. Black spots danced in front of her eyes, and her lungs started to tighten. “Exactly what do you mean when you say you’ll back off? Are you saying we’re not going to see each other anymore? That’s not what I want.”
“Of course we’ll still see each other, just not as much.”
There was sadness in his eyes. She looked away trying to take in the full weight of his words. “So, we’re not gonna spend time together,” she said, taking a quick breath. “Or sleep together anymore?”
Fern set the plates in front of them. “Y’all enjoy,” she said, and walked away.
Ridge leaned forward. “No. We’re not. I think you need to sort out how you feel
about me.”
Tizzy could tell by his tone that he’d decided they’d talked enough about the subject. Damn fool man. How could they get to know each other better if they didn’t spend time together? She’d show him. She didn’t need him. She’d spent the last five years without a man, and she could go right back to it. She’d abandoned her morals for him, put her soul on the highway to hell. The least he could do would be to keep sleeping with her and give her good reason for the trip.
* * * * *
There wasn’t much conversation between them on the way back home, but the little they had was civil and polite. By the time they got to her parents’ house, Tizzy’s lungs were tied in a knot. Every breath hurt. Ridge took his luggage from her car and transferred the bags to his. He sweetly kissed her cheek.
“Bye Tizzy,” he said, making it sound final. He slid behind the wheel of his car, turned the engine and drove away.
Her good-bye got stuck in her throat. She stared after him until his car disappeared. Darkness closed in around her and she started to cry.
Pattiecake opened the door and Gracie ran to her mother. Tizzy wiped at her eyes and hugged Gracie tight. “Hey, sweet girl. This bag is for you. Why don’t you take it inside and find out what you’ve got?” Tizzy looked at Pattiecake. “Can I spend the night out here?”
“Of course you can. What’s wrong? Did you and Ridge have a fight?”
Tizzy fell into her mother’s arms, sobbing. “Oh, Mama. I think we broke up.”
* * * * *
Almost a week passed, and somehow she managed to drag herself out of bed each morning and go to work. She’d stayed at her parent’s house since returning from Dallas, easier than being at home and Ridge a stone’s throw away. In one more week, he’d be gone and she could forget all about Ridge Cooper, wonderful man, world’s best kisser, dynamite lover. Or could she?
She and Gracie, along with Cuddles, snuggled close, letting the down comforter swallow them up. Tizzy fell asleep quickly but woke early, more depressed than ever. She sat up and buried her head in her hands. She couldn’t force herself to go another day pretending everything was okay, be friendly and perky to one more customer.
Cuddles stood up and stretched her little body out like a furry rubber band, laid back down, licked her paw, and started washing her face.
Tizzy stared down at her. “I hate him. I know he was your savior, but I hate him.” Cuddles looked up at her and meowed. She stroked the cat’s head with her finger. “Okay, maybe I don’t hate him. I wish I could hate him.”
She took two deep breaths, slipped into her jeans, pulled on her tee shirt, and slid her sandals between her toes. Twisting her uncombed hair to the top of her head, she secured the mess with a giant clip.
She eased down the hall, took a pen and notepad from the kitchen, and left a note she wouldn’t be at work. Next, she grabbed out of the fridge two bottles of champagne left from Bubba and Rayann’s party and retrieved the box of Godiva chocolates she’d bought for Rayann.
She angled herself behind the wheel of the Vette and rolled out of the drive. Once she reached the main road, she shifted into first and spun out, feeling the power of the car racing at high speed. The way it hugged the road and took the curves exhilarated her.
To hell with Ridge Cooper. I don’t need him. I don’t want him. I don’t love him. She kept repeating the thought until she drove past the cemetery. The familiar sound began as a low rumble, built to a roar, voices screamed, their words all jumbled together. Ranger . . . whore . . . ranger . . . whore . . .
She pulled into her drive, grabbed her head and shouted. “Stop it! Not now. Not today.” She rocked her body back and forth against the seat. “Stop ! It’s over! I’m not with him anymore,” she screamed, turning the radio up to drown them out. Her head grew quiet.
She flew inside, opened a bottle of Champagne, and took a long hard swig. Undressing as she walked down the hall and into the bathroom, she turned the spigot to fill the tub. She returned to the kitchen for the bottle and the chocolates, and took time to slip a CD into the player.
Across the room, Boone stared at her from the picture hanging near the fireplace. Tizzy wedged the Godivas under her arm and held a bottle of bubbly in both hands. She took another pull from the bottle and walked to stand beneath the frame. “What are you looking at? This is all your fault,” she said to Boone’s reflection. “If you hadn’t gone and got yourself killed, I wouldn’t be in this position. Oh, and just so you know, Carla told me all about screwing you.” She turned the bottle up again.
“I’m pissed, Boone. You left me. You screwed Carla.” She brought the champagne to her lips and took another gulp. “Oh, God. I’ve shared a penis with Carla Ferguson!” Tizzy set the bottle down and grabbed the picture off the wall. She opened the desk drawer and shoved it inside, then slammed the drawer shut.
She took two more drinks, pulled the drawer open again and Boone glared up at her. “By the way, I’ve been having sex with a Texas Ranger.” She banged the drawer shut and took another drink. Again, she pulled the picture into view. “Oh, and his penis is bigger than yours.” She shoved the drawer back in and went back to the bathroom.
She stripped off the remainder of her clothes, sank down into the tub, decided to forget about Ridge Cooper and enjoy the comfort of the hot water. The heat eased the ache in her muscles and she had the champagne and chocolate for the ache in her heart. She popped a piece of candy into her mouth and a rush of sweetness melted over her tongue. She took a sip of champagne, let it mix with the Godiva. Little bubbles of chocolate exploded in her mouth. Heaven. Absolute heaven.
From the other room, music blasted. She ate more candy, drank more bubbly, and sang off-key at the top of her lungs. Once she emptied the first bottle, she started on the next.
* * * * *
“Tizzy! What the hell are you doing?” Rayann screamed from the doorway, throwing her hands in the air. “Shit Tizzy! Is that my Godiva you’re eating?”
Tizzy’s head fell to one side. “Oh . . . hi . . . Rayann. I’m sorry.” Her speech slow, eyelids heavy, and eyes glazed over. “More time . . . and . . . space.” She slurred.
Rayann frowned. “What are you talking about? Is that what Cooper told you? Tizzy, we’ve got to get you out of this water, it’s ice cold,” she said, sticking her hand down into the tub. “Sissy, you’re past a prune and looking like a raisin.”
Tizzy flung her arm over the side of the tub and rested her head on it. “It’s no use. I’ve tried to get out, but I can’t. Just as well. I’m gonna st
ay here . . . till . . . I wash him out . . . cry him out . . . puke him out . . . never wanna see him again.” She gasped and garbled.
Rayann knelt down. “Honey, he’s not worth this. No man is.”
Tizzy started a whiney cry. “Yes he is. Don’t you understand?” She forced the words out in short gasps. “The man can kiss . . . he gave Gracie a kitten . . . and me an orgasm. Where am I ever gonna find another man like that?”
Rayann shook her head back and forth. “I understand. A kiss, a kitten and an orgasm. That’s a powerful combination. Not to mention a great title for a porn movie. C’mon Tizzy. I’m gonna try to lift you out of the tub.”
Tizzy twisted and turned, trying to give Rayann leverage, but Tizzy couldn‘t make her legs or arms work.
“This isn’t gonna work. As much as I hate to do this, I don’t have a choice,” Rayann said.
Tizzy tried to open her eyes. She tried to protest, but her brain wouldn’t make her mouth work.
Rayann’s conversation sounded like a foggy buzz to Tizzy. “Dwayne? I’ve gotta have your help,” Rayann said, starting to string her words together in an octave above her normal range. “Tizzy’s in a bad way. She’s listening to Patsy Cline and singing along. You know what that means? She hasn’t listened to Patsy Cline since Boone died. She’s been soaking in water for God only knows how long, and she’s drunk on her ass from champagne and my Godiva chocolates. I’ve drained the tub, but I can’t lift her. This is all Cooper‘s fault. What? Put him on the phone.”