“Of course.”
But Xando shook his head. “It is not fitting. This man will not respect you as he should. He does not appreciate your rank, your name. He will treat you like a slave.”
I sighed, and reached across the table for his hand. At once Zak’s good-humour and Renni’s jollity were gone, as if the shutters had come down, and my mind was filled with Xando’s grief. “There are worse fates, Xando. And it’s no different from what I was doing at Twisted Rock, is it? It seems to be my fate in life to lie down for men I wouldn’t choose.”
“It is not what you were born for,” Xando said fiercely.
“No. But I do what I must to survive. We are all rafts on the water, propelled this way and that by the current, sometimes washed ashore, and other times swept away again by storms. My raft has been tossed about more than most, perhaps. But I haven’t drowned yet, and I still have hope that one day I will find myself in smoother waters.”
~~~~~
My moon of training passed quickly. I had read everything that Tsanda found for me, I had learned it all, and I had no trouble passing every test the tutors set me.
I had added twenty-eight new flickers to my tally, and trained them all. Once I got used to the process, it went very smoothly, since I had decided long ago what I wanted them to do. It was common, apparently, to lose a few when training so many at once, but I had no problems with mine.
It was a very odd feeling, though, having so many of them. I began to understand why the Brinmar throwers were so disconnected and subdued. The flickers burbled constantly – to me, to each other and to all the other flickers within range. It created a high level of background noise in my mind that was impossible to shut out. I was always aware of them, even when I was engrossed in my reading, even when I was asleep. It was disconcerting.
Errin was surprised by my success. To her credit, she wasn’t upset to be wrong, merely bemused by someone performing beyond her expectations.
“Well, I suppose you have done what you said you would do,” she said, frowning up at me. She was so tiny, she made me feel like a giant. “So now what? We cannot assign you to a client. Not when you will have to marry this prince. I make no pretence to like what you are doing, Allandra. Sending a thrower into that situation… it is not something I feel comfortable doing. Flickers are meant to be put to use. If you sit around a perfumed pool all day eating dates and dragon fruits, they become no more than pets. They may get… restless. But if this prince chooses to put you to use outside the bedroom, then who knows what you will be expected to do. He will control you utterly. You must be very careful.”
“I understand what I am getting into. None of my flickers are weapons of war, so I think it most unlikely the prince will send me off to fight.”
“Hmm. Still, it is not ideal. But if you need replacements in a few years, there are big flicker markets at Hurk Hranda.”
I shuddered. I remembered them well: the noise, the crowds pushing, the arms waving, the constant shouting of those trying to buy. And above it all, the screams of anguished flickers.
“So will you go straight there?”
I was still lost in memory. “Hmm? Oh… no. I have to go to Mesanthia first.”
“Mesanthia? You really meant it, then, what you said to the prince? I thought you had severed all connection there?”
“I still have kin in the city, and there are some business matters to deal with. Paperwork relating to my father’s death last year and so on.”
“Ah, of course.”
I was glad she accepted that without much thought, for I wouldn’t have liked to explain the ‘and so on’ to her. There were papers to deal with, it was true, but that was a small part of my objective at Mesanthia.
“May I take one of the Brinmar barges?” I asked. “I thought it might be an amusing expedition for Zak. He has kin there too.”
“Zak? Why not? We can spare him and his barge. If he chooses to go, of course. It is a long journey. But if he is willing, then I have no objection. You will have to take a carriage for the last hundred marks or so, of course.”
“There is a connecting canal, if we can persuade the Graendari to open the gate.”
She grunted but said nothing more. Perhaps she knew me well enough to believe in my powers of persuasion.
~~~~~
When I put the idea to Zak, he grinned at me but his mind was abuzz with swirling emotions: pleased anticipation, certainly, and intense curiosity, but something else. Desire, oddly. Perhaps he had a woman waiting at Mesanthia.
Xando objected with mulish determination. “Why Zak? There are other Mesanthian bargers – that nice family, for instance.”
“Allandra likes him.” Renni’s voice was disdainful. “They are both Akk’ashara. They have… an affinity.”
We were in Zak’s court, the evening meal a lively backdrop to the argument. I wasn’t even sure why Renni was there, except that she was always around. Xando was my permanent shadow, but she seemed to have made herself Xando’s shadow, and there was no getting rid of her.
“Yes, but that does not mean… he need not… he would miss all his friends.”
“You are very considerate,” Zak said, his voice wobbling as he tried not to laugh, “but it’s part of my job to convey throwers here and there. Better than the public passenger barges or wagons.”
“It is too long a journey,” Xando said firmly. “Surely your friends would miss you.”
“Allandra is his friend, too,” Renni put in.
Their sparring was very amusing, and I enjoyed seeing how many oblique ways Xando could find to refer to Zak’s womanising and Renni to my attraction to him. Still, it was time to put it to rest. “No. It has to be Zak.”
“Why?” Xando sounded like a petulant child denied a treat. “Because he’s Mesanthian? Akk’ashara?”
“Partly. But mainly because of the snake tattoo on his arm.”
A sudden burst of excitement in Zak’s mind. Good. The snake was not just for show, then.
Renni was full of bewilderment, and Xando shook his head, bemused. “What do you mean? I cannot understand you, Allandra. Is this some sort of joke?”
“Not at all. It means that he has contacts in Mesanthia who will be helpful to me when I am there. I have to take Zak with me. But you needn’t worry, he will take good care of me, and—”
“What? You are not proposing to go alone?”
Renni heaved a melodramatic sigh. “Of course she is not. She is proposing to go with Zak. Just the two of them. That is how much she cares about you, Xando. Have I not warned you she would do something like this?”
Xando ignored her. He stared at me, and I desperately wished his mind was as open to me as Renni’s. I reached for his hand, but he snatched it away. “Is this true? You plan to leave me behind?”
My instinct was to snap at him. How could he be so idiotically unaware? It was maddening. But he was a friend and he loved me and I didn’t want to hurt him more than I needed to, so I kept my tone gentle.
“Xando, I am going to marry Prince Kru Hruart. What place is there for you? You must have realised that… our arrangement must come to an end?”
“Not yet,” he whispered. “Please, not yet.” His face paled, and his hands clenched and unclenched. He reached for me, and this time I was the one to back away. The last thing I needed was his anguish roaring through me, making me just as distressed as he was.
“Xando—”
“But I love you!” he wailed.
“I know, and I’m sorry, truly. But I have to do this.”
His chin lifted. “But you do not have to do it alone. I will come with you – to Mesanthia, and then to Hurk Hranda. I will see you married to this man, if that is what must happen. But I will not abandon you.”
This promised to be an awkward journey and no mistake – Xando, Zak and me, stuck on a barge together for several quarter moons. Could I manage to keep my hands off Zak for that long? Probably not. Tricky.
Yet I
couldn’t deny Xando his wish. I nodded, and he smiled in relief. I suppose he thought that something might happen to prevent the marriage – that he could persuade me to give it up, or persuade the prince, or perhaps the moon would fall. Poor Xando.
“I shall come too,” Renni said loudly. Wonderful. It took all my self-restraint not to slap her.
“Well, this will be a merry party,” Zak said. “Just the four of us in the barge for – oh, a half-moon or more. Such fun! I can hardly wait to get started.” He emptied the ale jug into his beaker. “Xando, it’s your turn to fetch the refreshments, I believe.”
Xando exhaled sharply, but he picked up the jug and set off to the barrel. Renni followed him, a little burst of happiness in her mind. Poor Renni, how she hated me.
Zak leaned forward on his elbows, the muscles in his arms flexing so that his dark skin gleamed in the evening light and the snake tattoo rippled realistically. “So,” he said in a conspiratorial whisper, “are you going to enlighten me about your cunning plan, or will it be a delightful surprise?”
I leaned forward too, enjoying the opportunity to be so close to him. “The means will be a delightful surprise, I hope, but the objective I can reveal, if you wish.”
“I am all ears.”
“It is very simple. I am going to restore the Empire.”
The roar of exultation in his mind almost knocked me over. His eyes glittered, and he laughed out loud. “Perfect!” was all he said.
I laughed too. I’d known he would understand.
29: Blackmail
It took us a quarter moon to prepare for our departure. The journey to Mesanthia was a long one, and although we could buy supplies along the way, it would be time-consuming to stop every two or three days to restock. And towns tended to have other distractions, too: taverns and markets and shops and a whole array of entertainments. If there was a festival or temple celebration going on, we might not be able to stop at all, or leave again as soon as we wanted. So we would take all the dried and preserved goods we needed, and pick up fresh fish or eggs or greens at strands along the way.
“How long will it take?” Xando asked, chewing his lips anxiously.
“Half a moon, at best,” Zak said. “If we can pick up a sail convoy on the Coastway, that is. Longer if we can’t. You have enough money for that?”
“I have money,” I said. I still had Morna’s bag of coins, the last of the price from the Caxangur horses.
“Good. The convoys are regular but our timing may be bad, in which case we will need to add another quarter moon. Then from Mesanthia another quarter moon to get down to Hurk Hranda. But we have no trading goods to fill the hold, so we have plenty of room for flour and rice and dried meat. We won’t starve.”
We spent our days making lists, examining Errin’s supplies and poring over maps. Xando and the inevitable Renni were almost always around, of course, but Zak and I did most of the planning, striding round the stores or hunched over a table together. I’d never spent so much time with Zak, and I enjoyed every moment of it. I was very conscious of his proximity, his thighs almost touching me as we sat side by side, his dark eyes gazing into mine when he asked for my opinion. If I accidentally brushed his arm, I blushed like a girl. He sat so close sometimes that I could feel the heat of his body.
And for the first time, I had his full attention. He’d never taken much notice of me before, and certainly never singled me out for attention, but now he could barely take his eyes off me, it seemed. I’d have thought it wishful thinking on my part, but the desire in him was very noticeable. Not that it ever manifested itself in anything physical, for he was always very restrained, even when we were alone, but his mind was bubbling with feelings that were anything but restrained.
The final day before our departure was spent loading the barge. This was Zak’s responsibility, so I spent the day in the library, looking up a few small points of Hrandish law. Xando found himself some books too, and sat opposite me. Renni opened a book, closed it, found another, put it away again, and eventually sat disconsolately on a window seat.
“Do you have anyone you want to say goodbye to?” I asked her gently.
She shook her head violently, anger coursing through her mind.
“You must have some friends, surely?”
It was the wrong thing to say, and I knew it as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Tears trickled down her cheeks, but she brushed them away roughly. “Nobody wants to be friends with us,” she spat. “They all hate us, you know.”
“Really? I don’t think—”
“It’s true! They hate all Tre’annatha, just as you do.”
“Not me,” I said softly. “Not all. Certainly not all. I don’t hate Xando. Or you.” It was true. I no longer feared the Tre’annatha, and although Renni irritated me intensely, there was no hatred in it.
Xando stared at me for a moment. “She means it, Renni. She doesn’t hate you.”
He rarely used his ability to intrude into my mind these days, for which I was grateful, but this time I was glad of his intervention.
Renni gave us a watery smile. I didn’t like her much, but if we were all going to be caged inside a small barge for quarter moons on end, it was better to start as friends.
I shut my book with a snap. “Shall we go and see how Zak is getting on?”
~~~~~
The barge was loaded, and Zak was reclining in a hammock slung between the corner of the cabin roof and a pole further down the deck. He did love his hammock.
He sprang up as we boarded, setting the barge bobbing at its moorings.
“Welcome aboard, my friends.” He made an exaggeratedly low bow. “Come below and see how comfortable we shall be.”
He’d been working in the heat all day, his shirt dark with sweat, his face streaked where rivulets of it had coursed through the dirt. He looked considerably less attractive in that state.
He led us down the narrow steps to the cabin, ducking his head to pass under the low doorway. I hadn’t really looked around the cabin on my previous visit, but now I was uneasy. With four of us inside, it felt uncomfortably crowded. And where would we all sleep?
“So this is the galley,” Zak said. “Pots and pans under here. Plates, bowls and beakers here. Spoons in the drawer.” It was all tidy, neatly organised. “I will do all the stove work – it’s temperamental, and I’m used to it – but you can give a hand with everything else.”
“I can help,” Xando said eagerly. “I like cooking.”
“Fine. The ladies can clean up after us and do the laundry.”
Renni was about to protest, but I saw the mischief in Zak’s mind. “We will all help out as needed,” I said briskly, before an argument started.
Zak flashed white teeth at me. “Excellent. Now, sleeping arrangements. This bench makes up into a bed. Then the hammock will go above it.” So that was two of us accounted for. “And through that curtain is my bed. Bedding is beneath the bench, see? The barge bucket is in that closet there. Access to the hold is through that hatch. Now, up on deck—”
He would have scampered up the steps again, but Xando caught his arm. “Wait a moment. There are only three beds.”
“True, but I have room for two in my bed. On the deck—”
“I do not understand. Are you saying one of us will have to share with you?”
“Of course. Now let me show you—”
“That makes no sense. Allandra and I will take your bed, and you can sleep out here.”
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
Xando’s voice rose, and even without an insight into his mind, I could tell he was getting agitated. But Zak’s mind was bubbling with amusement. Was this a joke, then? But there was some undercurrent in his emotions that made my heart beat faster, made me quiver with hope. I didn’t think he was joking, even if he found Xando’s reaction entertaining.
Zak sighed and turned to face us, arms folded. “Look, let’s get something clear right from
the start, shall we? This is a long journey, and I’m used to my comforts in bed. We won’t be stopping in any towns along the way where I could deal with the matter without troubling you. So, I shall expect one or other of you to keep me warm at night. I don’t much mind which of you it is, or you could take turns if you want, but one of you will have to do it.”
The silence was so absolute that I could hear the rustle of the trees along the canal. Renni’s mind was an amusing mixture of outrage and hope; she, too, saw where this was headed. Xando, always slow where people were concerned, did not.
“That is quite ridiculous!” he spluttered. “We will certainly not do any such thing. You really do not need to… Surely it is not necessary… This is blackmail! It is outrageous!”
It was, of course. We all knew it, but there was very little we could do about it. I was the one who had said that we had to take Zak with us; I had put this power into his hands. I had no idea what his purpose was – maybe he really did just want regular sex on the journey, and there was nothing more complicated going on. Maybe he fancied Renni – but no, I’d already had indications that he was interested in me. I felt it in him now, that undercurrent of desire. It had always been there, for he was a very physical man and clearly sex was an important part of his life, but now it was stronger, especially when he looked at me.
“Well, you can decide amongst yourselves which of you it will be,” Zak said with a shrug. “I’m easy. Shall we look around outside now?”
He spoke so casually, but I knew – I suppose we all knew – who his target was.
“You cannot have Allandra,” Xando hissed, leaning forward so that his nose was a handspan from Zak’s. I’d rarely seen him angry, but at that moment I was glad I wasn’t privy to his mind. Zak, on the other hand, was brimming with glee, making me want to laugh.
“I will not do it either,” Renni put in quickly.
“Well, how about you, then, Xando?” Zak said, beaming at him. “I like men too.”
I thought Xando would explode, his face was so red. His eyes almost popped out of his head. It was very amusing to watch Zak twist him in the wind, but I couldn’t allow it to go on.
The Magic Mines of Asharim Page 28