***
Lucy’s joy over Blix’s unexpected acquiescence to her marriage to Sherbourne was significantly dampened when she learned of what transpired. Sherbourne wouldn’t say what transgression her brother had committed, but told her Jane was terribly upset with him, that she intended to go to Eastchase Hall on the morrow, rather than return to London with her husband.
“It’s a damn shame,” he said to her as they returned to the house after a lengthy travail across the lake in one of the old boats. William dashed ahead of them on the path through the wilderness, searching for grasshoppers. “When I arrived, unexpected, of course, they were out and I spent my time awaiting their return by taking a stroll in the garden. When they appeared on the garden path that leads from the lake, not knowing I was there, he was half dressed, her hair was down and I’ve not seen two people more in love.” He smiled down at her. “I daresay because I’m unable to observe the two of us.”
Lucy squeezed his hand and returned his smile. “Oh, Sherbourne, I’m so glad Blix wasn’t a mule about us marrying. It appears I made the trip for no reason.” She glanced at William. “Though I can’t be sorry. He loves it here.” She looked up at him again. “And I began to miss you after an hour of your leaving.”
“It took an hour? I’m crushed.” He stopped and drew her close to kiss her. “I’m glad you came, Lucy. We’ll discuss the arrangements this evening and hopefully, by this time two days hence, we’ll be married.”
William ran up to them and tugged her dress and Sherbourne’s coat. “Mama, sir, I have found the very largest grasshopper in all the world. Stop kissing and come and see!”
Chuckling, Sherbourne dropped his arms and stepped back to look at William. “The very largest? You don’t say! Well, lead on, my man.” He winked at Lucy before following William into the brush. There was a narrow trail cut into the undergrowth that eventually led to a small clearing, dominated by a gigantic boulder. “I didn’t know this was here.”
Sherbourne moved away, expressing hearty interest in William’s bug. They both forgot about her as they extolled the gargantuan size, the handsome legs, the intriguing shape of its head.
Lucy walked toward the boulder, spying a bit of fabric tucked into a pocket in the stone. She reached for it and realized it was a stocking. Glancing down at the grass beneath her feet, she could see it was pressed close to the ground. Good heavens, her brother, ever proper, had made love to Jane outdoors, not so very long ago, it would seem. How very interesting.
Eventually, the grasshopper became weary of his admirers and hopped away, and they returned to the main path. As they neared the garden, Sherbourne said, “I’m hopeful they’ve worked things out and are back to a happy state, but if not, perhaps you might speak to him, see if you can help. I suspect you’re the only person he’ll listen to.”
“I’ll do my best, but it would be helpful to know what caused the disagreement.”
He slowed and looked conflicted. “It would be a breach of confidence to tell you particulars, but I believe I can at least say Blixford alluded to a secret of Jane’s, something she wanted to keep from me. She fell to the temptation of eavesdropping upon our conversation, and the subject came up. She burst into the room, righteously furious, and called him a cad.”
“Oh, my. Why would Blix do such a thing? How could he betray her like that?”
“He did so out of concern for her, but Jane won’t see it that way. As much as I want to believe Blix can make it up to her and she’ll forgive him, I know my daughter, and once she’s taken a wound to heart, it’s the very devil to find her good graces. Poor Blix may be sleeping in the stable tonight.”
Their approach had been observed, it seemed, and as they came into the garden and up the path toward the house, Blix was there to greet them. She noticed Jane was not with him. It appeared they had not worked things out. Her brother embraced her and shook William’s hand before turning to lead them into the house. Sherbourne expressed an interest in the nursery and suggested he and William climb to the second floor to investigate what toys might have been left behind by the last boy who lived there.
When they were gone, Blix escorted her back outside, into the garden. They strolled to the arbor and she sat upon a bench while he leaned against the arch. “I confess I was quite shocked when Sherbourne said the prospect he’d found was himself. Are you certain this is what you want, Lucy?”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything. We will suit very well.”
“Do you hold him in affection?”
She beamed up at him. “I love him madly. I suppose it seems odd, because of our age difference, but truthfully, I don’t think of it at all when we’re together. He’s far from what I’d consider old. And he’s truly marvelous with William. Oh, Blix, I’d never thought to feel like this again. I must thank you for your approval, for I might surely have died had you not approved.”
His dark gaze was intent upon hers. “You want it this much, then?”
“Oh, yes. He’s an amazing man, funny and warm and wise, and tremendously affectionate. It’s difficult to express in words how right this feels, and how ecstatically happy I am.”
A fleeting expression of pain crossed his features before he quickly assumed his usual somewhat inscrutable regard. “Then I’m happy for you, Luce. Sherbourne does seem to exemplify the best of fathering skills, so William will no doubt benefit greatly from his influence. I wonder, what will you do about Margrave Park? I assume you’ll live at Hornsby Grange.”
“I suggested closing up the house and perhaps hiring an assistant for Mr. Timms to help oversee the tenants, but Sherbourne won’t hear of it. He says William must stay connected to the house, and the land, and we’ll spend a month, at least, of every year there. He indicates he’ll visit with you about administration, to see if perhaps you’d like to share the responsibility. I assumed he would take it over, but he believes your involvement with the estate will help retain your relationship with William, that as he grows, he may need some guidance.” She lost a bit of her smile. “I’m certain he worries he’ll become senile, or die, and he wants you to remain an important part of William’s life as he grows into his own responsibilities.”
“Well.” He turned away and looked beyond the bramble roses, toward the stables. “There is a depth to the man one wouldn’t expect to find, considering his love of a grand joke.”
Remembering Sherbourne’s tale of the jest he pulled on Wrotham, Lucy said, “His jokes are not meant to be only funny. I believe he plots and plans them because it’s his way of gently pointing out another’s flaw, something which keeps them from realizing their happiness. He doesn’t do it merely to provoke a laugh.”
He was quiet for a long while, until at last he said, “In many ways, you’ve had a dreary life, and nothing will make me happier than to see you settled and content. I regret that the man you’ve fallen for is so much older, simply because it must necessarily bring you unhappiness at some point in the future, but you’ve always had an amazing ability to recover, to be optimistic.”
“It’s only that I refuse to anticipate unhappiness, Blix. If I’m happy now, today, that’s all that really matters. For all we know, I may die first, and he will be the one to mourn. The future is God’s to know, not ours. The best we can do is make the most of today. I’m ever grateful to have found him, and will express my thanks by being happy now, and for as long as he is with me.”
Turning toward her, he moved close and reached out his hands. She grasped them and they looked at one another for a long moment. “I do love you so, Blix, and it wounds me that you appear unhappy. I’d thought marriage to Jane would be the answer, but perhaps I was wrong.”
He squeezed her hands before letting go, then offered his arm. “Walk with me, sister.”
She stood and did so, hoping he would reveal something of what occurred.
Instead, he asked a question. “Do you suppose if our mother hadn’t died, our father might still have gone mad?”
It was unexpected and she had to concentrate to shift her mind in another direction. In all their years together, they’d never openly spoken of their father’s insanity, of how he lived the last ten years of his life, or how he died. They referred to him on occasion, but they never actually discussed it. That Blix wanted to do so now seemed somehow significant. She remembered various things she’s heard over the years, and in particular, a conversation she’d overheard between the housekeeper and the butler at Eastchase, just after she returned to live there. She’d never told Blix. The subject of their father always upset him, it seemed. “I believe he suffered a head injury not long after I was born, when you were but four years old, and he never fully recovered. It didn’t impair him physically, but he was not the same afterward. He became irrational and ill tempered, and was convinced that our mother was involved with the old Viscount Radcliffe.”
Blix was quiet, then said, almost in a whisper, “A head injury. I didn’t know. How did you?”
“I shamelessly eavesdropped on the servants after I returned to Eastchase Hall. I was terribly curious to understand why I’d been forced to live with horrid Aunt Reid, instead of at home, with my father. She always said he was busy, that he didn’t have time for children, and until he took another wife, she would be responsible for our upbringing. I was never so glad in my life than when you came down from Cambridge and took me away.”
“Poor Lucy, you did have the worst of it. I was gone off to Eton within a year of moving to her house, and was only there for short periods afterward. I hate that you had to endure her cruelty. At the same time, I’ve always admired that you hold no lasting scars, that you bear no grudge. I suppose it’s your nature to forgive, isn’t it?”
She smiled at that. “Don’t make me into a saint, Blix. It’s too droll of you, really. I don’t hold a grudge because it will do nothing to her, and everything bad to me. I choose to forget her and move on. She may rot in her miserable, pathetic life, and I care not a whit what she does, or how she goes on. Hardly saintly.”
“I suppose not,” he agreed. “A true saint would attempt to make her into something different, to see the error of her ways.” He patted her hand upon his arm. “All the same, I admire your ability to put her out of your mind.” They walked along a bit further before he said, “It’s ironic and a bit humbling to admit, but I’ve long worried I’d follow our father into madness, and a great many of my decisions have been made with that fear in mind. It could almost be funny, if it weren’t so wrong. All these years, I was convinced it was her death that brought on his insanity. Now, to know it was most likely the result of a severe blow to the head . . . well, it’s a surprise.”
Lucy’s heart flipped over and tears welled in her eyes. “Oh, Blix, I didn’t know, had no idea. All this time!” No wonder he’d insisted upon marrying women he couldn’t love, who would never love him, could never understand his complicated nature. She understood, at last, why he’d resisted marriage to Jane. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his distance, that he would grow to love her, worried she would die, and he would go mad. Her tears spilled over and rolled down her cheeks. “If only I’d seen this, I might have told you the truth of it and you wouldn’t have suffered such a misconception. But we’ve never discussed it, have we? It’s as though we believed not talking about it would make it less real, less painful.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Do you think she was involved with Radcliffe?”
“No. In my days of eavesdropping, I came to understand she was well thought of, respected by the servants and all who knew her. It appears her life became very difficult after our father was injured and began to doubt her, but she remained faithful.” The sun was setting, but she was loathe to return to the house just yet. Blix needed to know all of it, and this was the time to tell him. “The servants speculated that her death was not entirely due to complications in childbirth, that she’d been dosed with something to bring on labor and cause excessive bleeding. They also believed the old viscount was not shot by a highwayman, but by our father, disguised as one.”
“I can’t believe it. Can you?”
“I’d rather not believe it, Blix, but he was truly mad, I think, even before she died. Who can say? What can it matter now? I’d ask you to not dwell upon the past, to look ahead and live life on your own terms, in a way that will bring you peace and joy.”
He came to a halt and stared across the garden toward the sun at the horizon. “You’ve always had a wisdom that belies your age and experience. I do love you very much, you know.”
Her tears began anew. He had never said so. Oh, she knew it, of course, but hearing him say it aloud made her weep. She stepped close and embraced him. “Yes, I know. Have always known. You’ve been my champion, all of my life, Michael, and I love you. I wish for you to find happiness, to lay aside this restlessness that has dogged you so long.”
Returning her embrace, he said against her hair, “I believe I will. I’ve only to convince my wife I’m not a cad, and all will be well.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
He let her go and turned toward the house, offering his arm again. “No, I think it best to follow my own instincts. You mustn’t fret, Luce, or allow anything you may observe between Jane and myself to dampen your spirits. We’ll plan your wedding, and enjoy a nice visit, and tomorrow, we’ll all return to London where I’ll begin to search for all this happiness you’re so mad about.”
“Sherbourne indicated Jane would go directly to Eastchase Hall.”
“Lucky for me, she’s changed her mind.” His dark gaze glittered. “I believe I’m rather looking forward to finishing out the Season this year.”
Lucy grinned up at him. “Oh, Blix, how lovely! You’re going to win her heart, aren’t you?”
“I’m going to try, Lucy, but it won’t be easy. It seems I’ve married a termagant with a head fashioned of granite.”
They were almost to the door when she said softly, “You know, a good beginning would be an apology for whatever wrong you’ve committed.”
“But I’m not wrong.”
“Perhaps, but she thinks you’re wrong, and that makes all the difference. Trying to convince her you’re in the right will only make her more determined to believe you’re not. Mayhap you should suggest she is right, after all, and say you’re sorry.” He was reaching for the door when she asked, “Do you love her, Blix?”
He paused. “I’ve only recently realized I may fair die of it, Luce.”
“Well then, all will be well. You’ll figure out a way to win her, I’m certain, and I’ll enjoy watching you go about it.” He opened the door into the hallway and as they stepped inside, there was Jane, coming toward her, a wide smile upon her beautiful face.
“Lucy, what a lovely surprise. How good of you to come and see us, and how pleased I am to know you will marry my father.” Her blue eyes twinkled, much like Sherbourne’s. “I daresay I won’t call you mama, however, because it would be only too strange, would it not?” She laughed and moved close, looping her arm with Lucy’s, urging her toward the front of the house and to the stairs. “Come along and I’ll show you to your bedchamber. Is this not a lovely house? I told Blix I wouldn’t mind staying here on a regular schedule, for it is so warm and inviting and cozy. You must be tired from your journey. I’ll send Polly up with hot water, and you must rest a while before dinner, which will be steak and kidney pie. It’s Blix’s favorite and I asked Cook to prepare it, especially for him. Oh, I am so glad you’ve come!” She kissed her cheek as they reached the landing, the scent of lemons drifting around her. “You’re so very lovely and kind, it’s no wonder Papa is mad about you. I’ve always admired your quiet, dignified beauty.”
Lucy returned her smile, even while Sherbourne’s gruff, aroused voice echoed in her head. The very earth. “Thank you, Jane, and I do apologize for intruding upon your honeymoon. Things got away from us last night at the Morrison’s ball and before we knew it
, an announcement had been made. Sherbourne thought it best he come to Kent, straightaway, before Blix heard it from someone else.”
“Wise decision,” she said conspiratorially as they made their way down the hallway. “Blix is so protective of you, and had he heard it from anyone other than Papa, I don’t doubt we would not be anticipating your wedding right now.” She stopped at a door and pushed it open, then followed her into the room. “You’ve only to ring, of course, if you require anything. Don’t worry about William. I’ve just left him and Sherbourne in the nursery, playing a rousing game of miniature ninepins.” She continued to smile, and Lucy noticed when it became less forced. “He’s a beautiful, sweet child, and Papa is clearly crazy for him. He’s always loved children, and I’d call William lucky indeed to acquire such a father as Sherbourne.”
“Yes, I’ve thought much the same.” She watched Jane go to the door. “Thank you for your kindness and hospitality, despite our dropping in without announcement, or invitation.”
“Nonsense! You’re welcome in our home whenever you like, and surely no announcement is necessary among family.” She moved into the hall, and pulled the door closed behind her.
Lucy stared after her for some time before her lips curved into a wide grin. Oh, yes, it was going to be great fun to watch Blix find his happiness. Jane hadn’t a prayer of resisting.
***
“Thank you for dinner. I believe that was the very tastiest steak and kidney pie I ever did eat. Lucy appears ecstatically happy, and I’d say your father is in as fine of spirits as I’ve ever seen him.”
Jane didn’t reply, but lay in his bed, stiff as a board, waiting for him to take her so she could go down the hall to another bedroom.
He appeared to be not ready, and in no hurry, continuing to speak as though nothing was wrong, as though he hadn’t betrayed her in the worst possible way, as though he could simply ignore this terrible travesty and it would somehow magically disappear.
The Last Duchess (The Lennox Series) Page 28