All the while, Joey’s eyes never left Cameron’s face. He gently pushed her hair back from her sweaty face and mumbled, “Baby, you’re doing a great job. You can do this. She’s going to be so beautiful.”
Stacey allowed herself one selfish tear and then sat up straight, watching the miracle of birth. Would she ever be lying on a bed giving birth to a baby with a man who loved her so deeply? Would she ever experience the changes her body was made for?
After two more pushes, Rachel made a screaming debut into the world, none too happy about her cold new environment. She was immediately placed on Cameron’s belly, and Joey cut the umbilical cord, just like any other happy father. The nurses and doctor rubbed her down to stimulate blood flow and cleaned her off, and then she was whisked away to the warmer where she was measured and footprinted.
Cameron and Joey never took their eyes off Rachel, and occasionally Joey would place a tender kiss on Cameron’s temple. At one point, she smiled tiredly at him and placed her free, uncuffed palm on his cheek. Stacey was the intruder. She wasn’t really sure why Joey had insisted on her being present, but now she knew it was a mistake.
Silently and unnoticed, she slipped outside and leaned against the wall outside. They needed their time alone to rejoice in their creation and not to feel guilty over their feelings. Cameron had made some bad decisions, but it didn’t mean she was a bad person. If Joey loved her as much as it appeared he did, she couldn’t be all bad, and Stacey couldn’t hold his love for the other woman against him. She’d gone into this with both of her eyes open, and she refused to be hurt over it.
The last few days had gone by like a spinning top, and she wasn’t even used to the ring on her finger, let alone the fact she played second fiddle to a beautiful prisoner. It was a place she’d learn to accept so she could experience motherhood, even if only until Cameron got out and came back for Joey and Rachel.
The lone tear she’d shed in the delivery room wasn’t enough. She needed to let out her feelings or it would destroy her. Running to the nearest bathroom, she locked the door and let out her sobs, allowing her feelings to run their course so she could be stronger for Joey when the time came… and stronger for herself.
Yes, she’d always been the one who wasn’t quite accepted, and her whole life she’d been okay with the stigma. Why did it have to change now? Why did a woman in handcuffs have to bring her to her knees, quite literally, for her to finally realize she’d made a huge mistake when she married Joey?
Chapter Nine
Joey played the doting father quite well, because when he looked at Rachel, a perfect mix of him and Cameron, he could see only love. She weighed in at a perfect 8 pounds and 7 ounces, was 21 inches long and had baby blues and blonde hair just like her mother. Joey cried tears of joy she was here safely and Cameron was okay.
After she was checked out and found to be healthy, the nurses swaddled her small body and handed her over. The moment she was placed in his arms, his heart did funny things. He was so madly in love with one tiny, eight-pound baby, he knew he’d never be the same again.
One person’s face came to mind when he turned. He had to share this moment with Stacey. There was no one who could understand him the way Stacey did, and no one else could understand the impact this moment had had on their lives.
“Stacey, come look at her, she’s so beautiful!” He looked up but Stacey wasn’t where she’d been when Cameron was about to deliver. She was nowhere to be seen. “Stacey?”
“Are you talking about the blonde in the corner?” the doctor asked.
“Yeah.”
“She left about five minutes ago, right after the baby was born. Looked like she was in a hurry.”
Odd. He thought she’d want to be here to hold Rachel and get to know her. If the moment hadn’t been so amazing, he might have been a little miffed she deserted him, but he tried not to dwell on it. Instead, he looked down at his daughter and put his finger in her tiny palm. She immediately grabbed it and smacked her mouth, turning her head to the side. He’d deal with his wife later. Right now, all that mattered was Rachel.
“What does this mean?” he asked the nurse standing nearby.
“She’s rooting. She’s hungry. Would you like to feed her, Mama?”
He looked up to Cameron’s surprised face. He wasn’t sure it was a good idea for her to get too attached. But then again, what better way to encourage her to be a better person than to see the life depending on her?
In the end, he couldn’t deny her. It was her baby, too. Just because she signed legal rights away until she got out of prison didn’t mean she didn’t deserve to have some good memories. And if she proved she could stay clean, Joey couldn’t keep her from being a part of Rachel’s life later on. Rachel would need to know her mother hadn’t abandoned her.
Cameron sat up as best she could now that she was stitched and the epidural was wearing off. She tugged at one shoulder of her gown, pulling it down and exposing her breast. Joey placed Rachel in her arms and let her work her motherly magic. Before long, Rachel latched on and sucked like a champ.
With tear-filled eyes, Cameron looked up at him. “I wish I hadn’t made so many stupid mistakes,” she said. “This could be a normal us, and that could be the ring I put on your finger.”
Joey swallowed thickly. He had once dreamed of her saying those words, but now a different reality belonged to him. “You didn’t want to get married, remember?”
“I did, Joe. I just didn’t know how to tell you all my secrets.”
“So you got arrested so I’d find out the hard way?”
“No. Like I said. A lot of stupid choices. I’d give anything to be the kind of mother Rachel deserves.”
“Me, too.” Joey looked away and paced a little before turning back to her. “Stacey’s a good woman. I’ve known her since we were kids. She’ll treat Rachel like she was her own.”
“Do you love her?” Cameron asked absently, stroking Rachel’s cheek.
“I couldn’t imagine my life without her. We’ve been best friends since we were kids.”
Cameron shook her head, and he was once again shocked by the changes in her appearance. Her shorn hair, small frame, even her teeth looked a little yellow.
“I still love you, Joe. I know it’s not much coming from a woman in handcuffs, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you. Just always know that, okay? I want you to be happy, no matter what.”
Joey shifted in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable with the turn in conversation. Instead, he focused on his daughter and pushed the conversation back to her. “Thank you for her. And for making the right decisions about her welfare. You know I’ll love her and give her everything possible.”
“I do know. I didn’t get to talk to Stacey, but she seems sweet. Just don’t make her think she’s living in my shadow. She’s probably pretty unsure of herself right now and where she belongs in all this.”
Joey sighed. “Yeah. Confidence isn’t her specialty.”
“It should be,” Cameron said softly. “She snagged the best guy in the world.”
With a chuckle, he shoved his hands in his pockets. “I better go find her and make sure she’s okay.”
Cameron raised her shackled hand and gave him a wry grin. “Go on. I’m not going anywhere.”
He rolled his eyes playfully and walked out of the room. Just outside the door, Stacey was sitting against the wall, knees to her chest. It was clear she’d been crying. What a mess this all was.
“Your parents are in the waiting room. I think Cameron’s are, too. I didn’t feel like going out there explaining who I was to Cameron’s family.”
Without a word, he sat down next to her with a grunt and took her hand in his. It shouldn’t have surprised him, but she carefully extracted it only moments later. “Congratulations on becoming a father.”
“Thanks,” he mumbled, unsure of what to say next. After a moment, he finally asked the question burning in his mind. “Why did you leave?”
/> Stacey’s eyes were closed, but she licked her lips. A telltale sign she was buying time before answering. “Let’s just say it was all a bit emotional.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” But the words were said too quickly and too chipper for him to really believe her.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
“She’s going to be an amazing little girl,” Stacey said with conviction.
“Only because you’re going to raise her. You’re pretty amazing, too, Stace.”
Joey didn’t have time to finish her name before she was standing. “I think I’ll go get Cameron some flowers. Do you need anything?”
Confusion swept over him at her change in attitude, but he went along because he could only stand so much drama in one day. “I could use some water. Thanks, baby.”
He stood only to be nose-to-nose with an angry Stacey, her finger poking into his chest. “Don’t ever call me your baby again.” Her eyes burned bright, and her mouth was drawn into a tight frown.
Holding out his hands, he frowned. “Okay. I’ll try to remember.”
“Don’t try. Remember.”
Rachel’s cry distracted him enough not to respond as she turned and stalked away, but he filed it away in his mind to ask her about later.
****
A knock on the door the next morning had Stacey out of bed and alert before she even exited her bedroom. Was it Joey? He hadn’t come home last night, and she assumed he’d stayed with Cameron at the hospital. No phone call, no text telling her not to wait up.
With a deep breath, Stacey opened the door and exhaled when she saw it was Joey’s mom.
“Ms. McCrary! I thought you’d be at the hospital by now, seeing that beautiful new granddaughter of yours.”
“I’m headed there in a bit,” she said as she stepped in, uninvited. “We need to talk, honey.”
A deep sigh escaped as her heart began to pound. “What about?”
“You know what about. This whole situation is so convoluted, Stacey. I know you must be drowning.”
The understatement of the century. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. I saw you crying in the hallway yesterday. I know you’ve always loved him. He’s hard not to love.”
Stacey bit her lip. “I do love him, but I keep praying it’ll fade so it won’t hurt so much.”
“Give him time. I think you guys are perfect for each other, but this marriage was awfully quick. You haven’t even been married a week and now you’re parents. It’s a lot to take in.”
The lump in Stacey’s throat kept her from saying anything.
“Is he good to you?” Ms. McCrary’s hand settled on top of hers. Something her own mother might have done. What she wouldn’t give to have her mom there for some good advice.
“He’s wonderful. More than I could have ever asked for.”
“But…?”
Stacey smiled. “Nothing.”
“I’ve known you since you were born. I was a best friend to your mother until the day she died. I know when something’s bothering you.”
Should she let it out? Could she? This was her husband’s mother she was talking to. Even if she spoke her fears aloud, would they be safe with her? Regardless, Stacey needed someone to talk to. If it got back to Joey, it would be less she’d have to explain to him later.
“How do I compete with her? We never agreed this was love, and I’m happy to help him. I know what it’s like not to have your parents together, and I’m so happy Joey wanted his little girl to have a mother and a father. But kids are smart. Rachel will pick up on the fact we don’t have a real marriage. What then?”
“Honestly? I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
“What if she comes back and wants Rachel and Joey? After what I saw yesterday between them, I don’t think I’d be wrong to say he’d choose her.”
“Things are still raw, Stace. He loved Cameron, but I think he grew to love the idea of her. She’s beautiful, yes, but not many people can say they married their best friend. Love or not, you two know each other much better than he and Cameron did. She’s a sweet girl, but I think until she gets her addiction under control and can support herself and a kid, the state would never grant her rights.”
Stacey sat in silence. She didn’t know how to tell Ms. McCrary those things were the least of her concerns.
“But that’s not what you’re talking about, is it?”
“You’re a mind reader.” Stacey grinned.
“He loves you, honey. Maybe not the way you want him to right now, but if you give him time, he’ll see what’s right in front of him.”
“It’s been twenty years. If he doesn’t see it by now, I don’t think he will.”
“You never know what prayer can do. And the fact you came into this with no expectations is half the battle.”
“I just want to be beautiful for him.”
Ms. McCrary studied Stacey, her perfectly coifed hair and neatly pressed suit screamed beauty and maintenance. Even her toenails were free of chipped polish, unlike her own. “Until you’re beautiful to yourself, you’ll never be beautiful for him.”
It sounded like something her mother would have said. It was these rare moments that hit her like a lead weight falling from the heavens. Her mother might not be with her in the physical sense, but she was still helping her and guiding her from heaven. She had to be.
“Agreed.” Stacey gave her a smile and moved her hand away. “It’s time I get ready to go to the hospital myself. I’m sure Joey would like a change of clothes and a toothbrush after staying all night.”
“He didn’t come home?” Ms. McCrary’s body language suddenly changed, and she sat up straighter.
“No. I figured he stayed at the hospital with Cameron.”
She sighed and shook her head, a frown marring her pretty features. “I guess we’ll see. If you’re right, I might just have to string him up by his toes.”
Chapter Ten
When Stacey entered the hospital, she wasn’t sure what awaited her. For some reason, she envisioned Joey spooning Cameron in her hospital bed while Rachel slept soundly in her bassinet next to them.
Instead, Joey was outside the nursery taking pictures and smiling.
“I brought you a change of clothes,” Stacey said as she approached.
He eyed the bag and then her. A lopsided grin spread across his face. “You’re the best. It was a rough night.”
“Is everything okay with Rachel?”
“Oh yes. She was just fussy last night. The nurses said she was probably getting used to the formula we’re giving her.” He took the bag from her outstretched hand and ushered her back toward Cameron’s room. Stacey put the brakes on. She didn’t want to go in there any more than she wanted to gouge her own eyeballs out of her head.
“Formula? I thought Cameron was feeding her until she went back to the prison.”
“She did. The doctor gave the okay for her to be transferred back. They took her back this morning to the prison hospital. In the meantime, the nurses are giving me my own room until Rachel is clear to go home, which will be this time tomorrow.”
Stacey started walking, mulling over all the information. “How did Cameron react when she had to leave?”
“The guards were nice and gave her a few minutes to say goodbye to Rachel. Afterwards, she seemed to be okay.”
“Do you think…?” Stacey began but decided against it.
“Do I think she’ll eventually want her back? I don’t know. She’d be a fool if she didn’t.”
Stacey agreed. If the situation was reversed, she’d do all she could to get back to her baby. In the meantime, she’d enjoy whatever time God allowed her with Rachel and Joey.
“I missed you,” Joey said, taking her hand in his and offering her a weak smile.
Stacey couldn’t help but think those words were born from the fact Cameron was no longer there, and he had no one else. Even if they were ma
rried, it didn’t stop his heart from belonging to her. Seeing them in the delivery room together proved as much.
When she didn’t say anything, he tugged her toward him. “Hey.”
Giving him as big a smile as she dared without feeling fake, she asked, “What?”
“You okay? When you left yesterday I felt like there was a mountain between us.”
The fake smile stayed plastered to her face. “No. Nothing was wrong. It’s just all a little emotional for me.” She looked down the hall to the hustle and bustle at the nurse’s station and heard someone call that it was time for another baby to be born.
“Why did you snap at me? What’s wrong with me calling you baby?”
“I don’t like it. Plain and simple.”
Joey studied her. Would he see right through to her soul and know she never wanted to be second best in his eyes? “Okay,” he said slowly. “Can I give my wife a kiss?”
Stacey held in the frustrated sigh threatening to escape. Where did she fit in all this? Granted, Stacey could pinpoint the moment things got complicated: their wedding night. Before sex got involved, she could see clearly. She was there only for Rachel and to do a friend a favor. Give a baby a mother, give her childhood friend a wife so he could be more stable and raise his baby girl.
Then he’d gone and got her naked, the jerk. If she’d held tight to her original thoughts, a ring wouldn’t be around her finger nor the invisible noose around her neck. Could she live with Joey day after day with the memories in her mind of the way he’d looked and held Cameron?
Someone with a little more experience with men would know how to handle this. Maybe even suggest being adult enough to talk to him about it, but quite simply, Stacey was terrified to hear he could never love her and did, in fact, still love Cameron. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. They’d made a baby together for crying out loud.
Stacey leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, but he grabbed her waist and hauled her to him, taking possession of her mouth. The bag she’d brought him with a change of clothes fell to the floor next to her foot, and his hand speared through her hair, bringing her closer.
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