“You could say that,” he muttered, taking off his lightweight jacket. Spring was coming soon, and the days were warmer.
“Wanna talk about it?” she encouraged.
“Yeah, we definitely need to talk about it.”
Stacey put Rachel in her high chair and gave her a bottle. “Did you lose your job?”
Joey shrugged. “I wish it was that easy.”
She stared at him. His answer meant it could only be one thing. “Cameron.”
He nodded and she sat down, thankful the chair was there to catch her.
“Is she out already?”
“Hearing is Tuesday. If it’s granted, she can seek visitation.”
Suddenly, she was on her feet again. There was no way a drug addict was going to come along and take away her daughter. Stacey wasn’t going to let Cameron waltz in and out of Rachel’s life and confuse her, either. What kind of mother would either of them be, then?
Stacey had told Joey she’d help him raise his child, and she was going to do just that, in and out of the courtroom.
“What about her drug use? If she gets visitation, it has to be supervised. I wouldn’t trust her not to get drunk or high and drive off a bridge with Rachel in the car.”
Joey’s face soured. “Believe me, you’re not alone. But we’ll need to figure it all out when the time comes. Right now, the lawyer says we have to prepare a testimony on why the judge shouldn’t grant her parole.”
“I’ll get on it as soon as Rachel is down. I can give you fifty reasons why off the top of my head.” Stacey came out of her reverie and looked at Joey. His frown tugged at her heart. “We won’t let Cameron take her away from us. She’s ours.”
Joey bit his lip and shook his head. “I love you so much.”
A bittersweet smile lifted her lips. “I love you, too, Joe. And I love Rachel just like she came from me. Cameron is toxic, and she won’t take our little girl away.”
Joey bent at the waist and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t even know where to start. If I go after her character, she’s going to get ugly. I know her well enough to know that. If I try to play it safe, she’ll take advantage. Any good lawyer would.”
“Then we’ll take the middle road.”
“How do we find it?” Joey asked, looking up at her from his seat.
“We have to pray about it. And then we fight.”
****
The day of the trial came too fast for Joey’s peace of mind. Graciously, his mother had offered to keep Rachel while Joey and Stacey attended the hearing. As Cameron was brought into the room in an orange jumpsuit and placed with her lawyer at their table, he wondered what had happened to the girl he’d once loved.
She was so frail looking, and her hair was still cut way too short, even shorter than the day she’d delivered Rachel. One of his favorite pastimes when they were dating had been to brush her long hair. But now, only a couple of inches remained all over her head. She seemed to have aged in the seven months since he’d seen her last. He guessed that’s what happened when one dedicated her life to alcohol and drugs.
He glanced at Stacey and her youthful skin and shiny waves. She’d always been the epitome of innocence, but today was an exception. He’d never seen her the way she was right now. Her eyes were trained on Cameron, her back ramrod straight and what he figured was her game face was stoically plastered. She dressed in a blue pinstriped business suit with classic heels. Nothing frilly and no jewelry save the wedding ring he’d given her.
Joey looked down at his ring and smiled. Despite whatever happened today, he still had his baby girl and his wife. He could only pray Cameron wouldn’t make him lose the things he held dear.
Cameron turned in her seat and gave Joey a wan smile. He didn’t return her smile. Her eyes darted nervously toward the paper Stacey clenched in her hand. No doubt, she’d figured out they weren’t there to support her. In fact, Stacey had a lengthy list of things opposing her parole release. He wasn’t sure it would make much of a difference, but at this point, he was desperate.
The judge entered a little while later and spoke a lot of legal jargon that went over his head. His lawyer sat on his other side, taking notes and tapping his chin with his pen occasionally.
When the time came for him to speak, Joey finally steeled himself. It wouldn’t be easy hurting Cameron. He figured she’d hurt herself enough for both of them, but he was about to unleash some pretty harsh words.
Joey gave his introduction to the judge and looked at Stacey. Her game face hadn’t changed, and she watched him without so much of a blink. She was there to support him, and it was all that mattered.
“On October 9, Cameron Matheson called me at approximately one a.m. to ask me to bring my daughter to the prison. She then informed me she was using a prison guard’s cell phone. Three more times she called me, once on December 24th, again on January 28th, and lastly on March 18th. Every instance was at approximately one a.m. She said this was to keep the guard out of trouble. When I asked her who this guard was, she wouldn’t give me a name, but indicated he let her phone people a lot and also snuck her some drugs occasionally.”
He paused, wiping dampness from his brow and held up his phone records. “I have the phone records and the number highlighted on each of my phone statements here. The officer has since been let go from the Correctional Facility for consorting with a prisoner.”
With a quick glance at Cameron, he saw her rounded eyes and her mouth slightly ajar. She probably thought he was playing dirty, but he had another thing to say.
“As for good behavior, I can’t say, because I wasn’t there. But I know of her behavior prior to conceiving, and I can safely say I don’t want my daughter with her out of fear she might relapse and cause an accident. I understand everyone can change, but so far, I’ve seen little of it, mainly in our conversations with each other at night, and also in my dealings with her before giving birth. Children need their mothers, and I want her to be a mother, but before she can be one to my child, I want her to prove she can be an honest person.”
The judge studied him and scribbled something on his notepad. “In your opinion, Mr. McCrary, was Cameron a good person before she turned to drugs and alcohol?”
Joey couldn’t help but look at Cameron then. Her eyes were downcast, reminiscent of how Stacey used to look when she didn’t believe in herself. But Joey couldn’t lie about it. “Yeah, she was. Drugs are a powerful force, and I understand the dependency. That’s what I fear the most. Cameron has the potential, but I’m not sure about the willpower. Above all else, I want my daughter to have a happy, loving home surrounded by people who love her. I have no doubt Cameron loves her daughter, but I also have no doubt she has a long way to go before she can provide what a child needs and be a contributing member of society.”
“Thank you, Mr. McCrary.”
Joey tore his eyes away from Cameron, who now looked at him with tears sparkling in her eyes. It hurt to betray her. He’d once thought she’d be his wife instead of Stacey. She was the woman who had given his baby girl life. He knew how deep the deception could be felt, and the last thing he wanted to do was cause anyone that kind of pain. But he wouldn’t go down without a fight when it came to how Rachel would be raised and what she would be exposed to.
That night, Joey lay with his head in Stacey’s lap as they talked about the day’s proceedings. “I didn’t know what else to say. I know she could do it, but I’ve also seen what a battle it is with drugs. But there’s a part of me that says she deserves the chance. Then there’s the other part of me that says she gave her chance up when she made the poor choice. At what point do we draw the line, Stace?”
Her cool fingers ran through his hair and circled tenderly at his temples. “There’s a lot to think about, and it’ll overwhelm us if we let it. But we’ll know in a few weeks what the judge’s decision is, and we can go from there. Some people can get sober and stay that way, but there’s a will there that most people don’t have.”
“Right. How do we know if she’s the exception rather than the rule without risking Rachel’s safety?”
“I don’t know. I guess the bottom line is, if she’s got the willpower, then she’ll be willing to do whatever it takes to get her daughter back.”
Joey sat up and propped himself up across her lap. “You’ve changed, Stace. You know?”
She smiled, her bright eyes happy. “I’ve had a good reason to change.”
“It wasn’t me. I could have told you how beautiful you were until the cows came home, and you wouldn’t have believed me.”
“Because I didn’t have a reason to believe you. Rachel kind of changed everything with me. When I was the only one she wanted when she was upset, and I spent all those nights with her during feedings, I just realized I have to be the one to give her confidence and teach her how to love herself. I can’t do it if I don’t know how myself. I saw in some way, I was her comfort in a way you and your mother weren’t.”
“Do you know why?”
Stacey smiled. “Because I’m her mama.”
Joey kissed her lips softly. “Exactly. You’re her mama. And you’re a great mother, Stace. I knew you were amazing, but I don’t think the magnitude truly hit me until after I saw how much you loved her and cared about her. Thank you for everything you’re doing for her… and for me.”
She shrugged. “It’s what love is.”
“You’re love. When I think of someone who is a perfect example of love, I always think of you. You’ve done so much for me, and I’ve given so little in return.”
“You gave me a daughter. And you gave me a husband. Two things I couldn’t have had without you.”
“You would have had them. I’m just thankful I snatched you up before someone else realized what an amazing person you are.”
Stacey smiled.
“I want to have a baby with you, Stace,” Joey blurted.
Stacey frowned then laughed. “You do have a baby with me.”
“You know what I mean. I want to make a baby with you. Not now. Not until we’re ready for another one, but I’ve been thinking on it for a while, and I wasn’t sure what you’d think about the idea.”
“Hmm…” she said as she unbuttoned the top buttons on his polo shirt and ran her fingertips along his skin. “I think another baby would be stressful right now, but having another baby a few years down the road, especially with you, sounds like a great idea.”
“Just think. A little piece of you and me running around with Rachel. How cute would that be?”
Stacey kissed his neck, running her tongue along his hammering pulse. “It would be adorable.” Passion filled her gaze, and he wasn’t necessarily thinking about a baby just then. But practicing sure was on his mind. There wasn’t another woman who could turn him on as quickly or as thoroughly as she did.
“I say let’s just practice right now, so when the time comes, we’ll have everything down to an art,” she whispered. She sucked in his bottom lip between her teeth and nibbled on it.
What could he say to that?
He let out an unintelligible grunt as he claimed possession of her mouth and a little while later, her body.
Chapter Fifteen
“She doesn’t know you’re here, does she?” Cameron asked, squinting as if trying to read a blurry billboard.
“No. I thought it was best I come here alone to talk,” Joey said, feeling the weight of his omission heavily on his shoulders.
“Trouble in paradise?”
“Not at all. I just think we need to settle some things together.”
“Like what?”
“Like what’s going to happen if you’re granted parole and you ask for custody. Is that your intention?”
“She’s my daughter. Yes, it’s my intention. I haven’t seen her since the day she was born, Joe. You won’t let me.” Her raspy voice filtered through his mind like cotton candy, weaving a convoluted spell on his brain, making him remember things he had no business remembering.
“Do you understand why I’ve kept her away?” he asked, pushing his thoughts aside.
“Yeah. You’re smitten with your new wife and want her to play mommy since I can’t.”
Her harsh words surprised him since the last time he’d seen her she’d been so accommodating to Stacey. “No, Cameron. I meant what I said in the courtroom. I know you’ve got it in you to be a good person, and you proved it the day Rachel was born and signed her over to me until you got out. But you understand my hesitancy to bring you into her life when Stacey is all she’s ever known.”
Cameron leaned back in her chair, studying her nails. “It doesn’t change the facts, Joe. I’m her mother. We conceived her. You suddenly seem to forget I’m part of the equation here. Prison doesn’t mean I stopped existing.”
“But it means you made some bad choices.”
“Doesn’t every one?”
“Yes. But do you even want to do better?”
“I want my daughter. She should be with me. You’re not going to come in here with some psychobabble and make me think I’m not good enough. Rachel might only know your little wife as her mother, but it won’t be long before she knows all about me. Do you understand, Joe?”
He felt his shoulders slump against his will. “You’re missing the point—”
“All I’m hearing is you want more things to throw at me in court when I try to do something to stay in touch with my kid. I’m not giving you any more ammunition. Besides, I know exactly who was behind your little rant in the courtroom.”
“Don’t blame this on Stacey. She’s been there for your kid when you couldn’t be.”
With a sigh, Cameron sat up and took one of Joey’s hands in hers. “Joey, I still love you, okay? It hurts me to see you with her. What you said in the courtroom hurt me. And I know she was just a replacement. When I get out of here, I want to try again. We can make it this time. I was terrified of settling down and being stuck with one person the rest of my life who didn’t know what went on after dark. But Rachel changed everything for me. I want to share all those new memories with you and be your wife. I know Stacey doesn’t please you as much as I did. It’s all over your face.”
“What doesn’t please me is you being a home-wrecker on top of a drug addict. Stacey is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Cameron.”
“We both know that’s not true,” she whispered, looking deep into his eyes.
“There’s a part of me that will always love you. I could never deny that. That’s not a secret. You gave birth to my daughter. But getting back together just isn’t an option, and I need you to accept it.”
Slowly, Cameron nodded. “It still hurts. All this was supposed to be my life and now someone else is living it. You don’t sit in a prison cell all day without learning a few lessons.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you.”
“Then don’t hurt me. Let’s work together to get me out of here so we can live the life we wanted.”
Joey studied her. Since giving birth to Rachel, dark circles were under her blue eyes. He remembered a time when those blue eyes sparkled with mischief and love for him. Now they were dull and lifeless.
“I don’t think it’s what I want anymore. I just want us to figure out a way to give Rachel the best life possible. I want us to do that together. Without all the lawyers and mud-slinging.”
Cameron slowly nodded. “I want that, too.”
“Then let’s do it.”
With great precision, Cameron leaned forward and took his hand in her small one. Her soft skin brought back far too many memories. “On one condition, Joe.”
Looking into her eyes, he knew he would do anything to keep things from escalating and jeopardizing his marriage. “What?”
“I want you to come see me every day after work. Until we know if I’m granted parole. When this is over I want you to look in my eyes and tell me you don’t still love me.”
He shouldn’t agree. He knew it was just a
ploy for her to get under his skin again. His head screamed at him to say no, to tell her it was blackmail, pure and simple. But he thought of Stacey and Rachel at home and how perfect his life seemed the last few months and how sure he was that he could meet her demands. He didn’t want his wife or his perfect life to go away, and he didn’t want Stacey to worry Rachel would be taken from her. If coming here meant keeping peace, he’d do it as long as she wanted.
“I’ll be here,” he whispered.
****
“You’re home late tonight,” Stacey said as she placed a steaming plate of lasagna in front of him. “Rough day?”
Joey thought of his trip to see Cameron and how wounded Stacey would be that he’d agreed to see her every day. But then he thought about how the end justified the means and relaxed a little.
“No, just a lot of things I had to take care of.”
She eyed him carefully, but he schooled his expression so he didn’t reveal anything. “Like what?”
“Work stuff.”
Rachel let out a shriek and they both jumped. With a chuckle, Joey lifted her out of her seat and placed a big kiss on her cheek. “I love you, Itsy Bitsy. How was your day with Mama today?”
Another squeal and her arms flailed. Then she promptly shoved her fingers in her mouth, and a string of drool puddled on her bib. “Mamamamamama.”
It was as if time stood still. He lifted his gaze to Stacey’s and saw the shock registered on her face. “Did you hear that?” he asked softly.
“Tell me I didn’t imagine it,” she whispered.
“You didn’t. Say it again, Rachel. Ma-ma.”
“Mamamamamama,” she chanted and reached her arms out to Stacey. Stacey lifted her and spun her around in a circle, then hugged her close, pure joy in her wide eyes and open mouth.
“You said Mama!” she exclaimed and laughed.
“Because you are,” he issued, more sure than ever he’d made the right decision with Cameron now.
“I know. What about Da-da? Can you say Da-da?”
The Unexpected Choice Page 13