Joey swallowed down the lump at seeing Cameron this way. She was suddenly the woman he’d known when he’d first fallen in love with her. “You’re making the right choice. And I’m more than happy to talk about things later on.”
When Cameron didn’t leave, Joey felt the need to do more than just stare. “Come here,” he whispered, and gathered her into his arms. She went willingly, crying the whole way. “She’ll be just fine. And happy as a clam,” he reassured her.
“Without me. That’s what hurts so much,” she mumbled into his jacket.
Joey risked a glance back at Stacey and saw Stacey was holding Cameron’s hand and squeezing it. Just as Joey let her go, he realized Rachel was awake.
Cameron lifted hopeful eyes to him. “Can I hold her? Say goodbye?”
He nodded solemnly. What else could he do? The woman was willingly giving up the fight.
Slowly, Stacey placed Rachel in Cameron’s arms. Her tears returned full force. “Oh, baby,” she cried. “You’re so beautiful. The absolute best part of your daddy and me. I’ll never forget you, and I’ll never stop trying to be a better person so we can have a relationship when the time comes. For now, you grow up happy and healthy and know you’ve got two mommies who love you more than life itself.”
Joey cleared his throat to rid himself of the lump forming in his throat. Stacey’s eyes were bright with unshed tears. The scene was touching, knowing Stacey’s heart ached for the woman despite everything.
Cameron gave Rachel back to Stacey. “Go back to Mama,” she sobbed. “I love you.”
Without another word, she turned and walked back to the table with her lawyer, entering into a deep discussion. Joey could tell the lawyer didn’t like Cameron’s backpedaling, but after a solemn nod, the lawyer stood and exited the courtroom toward the judge’s chambers.
Joey looped his arm around Stacey. He couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t even think because of all the turmoil inside him. Cameron had surprised him, that was for sure.
“What do we do now?” Stacey asked as she bounced Rachel.
“We pray. For us and for Cameron.”
Chapter Twenty
After a celebratory dinner, Stacey and Joey walked in their home together, a sense of peace stealing over them. Stacey put Rachel to bed, taking extra care to enjoy the evening’s outcome, knowing for at least a little while longer, Rachel was still hers. Her thoughts were also with Cameron, who had made such a selfless decision and was no doubt in a huge amount of pain tonight without the possibility of her daughter being in her arms soon. Despite Stacey’s worries about Rachel’s safety, Cameron had proven she had it in her to be a good mother. She hoped one day Cameron could be a part of Rachel’s life.
Which brought her mind to rest on another subject. When Rachel was older, would she feel rejected by Cameron? She saw it all the time on the television and read about it in books. Adopted children often felt abandoned, but what about kids who have two loving parents and one just didn’t happen to be biological? Would Rachel ever resent Stacey as her mother or wish Cameron was the one in her life rather than her?
No doubt, it would happen. Probably during the ornery teenage years when Rachel was exploring who she was and what her life meant to her. But she resolved to herself as Rachel shoved her thumb in her mouth that she would be the best mother, no matter how angry Rachel might be one day over her circumstances. Stacey would do the right thing and love her enough to get them through the tough times.
Quietly slipping out of the room, Stacey made her way back to the living room where Joey sat on the couch, staring at his hands.
“She’s sound asleep,” Stacey said, sitting next to him and taking his hand in hers.
“I keep wondering how Cameron is feeling tonight. She’s gotta be having a hard time.”
“Whatever she’s doing, I’m sure she feels like she did the right thing. She was brave, and she’ll realize it soon enough.”
Joey looked at her, the sorrow clear in his eyes. “I just wish she would have made better choices so things were different.”
Stacey studied their hands together, watching Joey’s thumb trace lazy circles against her skin. “I can’t say I regret anything she did. Maybe I do for Rachel’s sake, but if she had been the model mom, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.”
Silence filled the room. Finally Joey shuffled on the couch until he faced her. “My speech in the courtroom… it’s what you’ve been trying to tell me all along. Everything is about choices.”
Hope soared within Stacey. Did he finally understand?
“I was reading my Bible the other day and came across some verses that kind of summed it all up for me. It was my light bulb moment.”
“What verses?”
Joey moved and grabbed her Bible off the table in front of them and turned directly to a bookmarked page. He cleared his throat. “Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not boast. Love is not proud or rude. Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs others do. Love rejoices in truth, not evil. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails.”
Tears were in Stacey’s eyes. It wasn’t until he looked at her that she saw the brightness in his eyes.
He cleared his throat again. “There’s nothing in there that says love is a feeling.”
“No, there’s not.” Still she waited before launching into a speech. She wanted to see if his conclusion was the same as hers.
“When we first got married, I kept thinking the way I felt about you was so different than what I felt for Cameron. At first maybe I thought I could never get past our friendship. Then I thought I didn’t love Cameron because I never knew her like I know you.” He linked their hands together, bringing her knuckles up to kiss them one at a time.
“I know you love me, Joey,” she whispered.
“No you don’t. You’ve lived in doubt for months now. I can say it until I’m blue in the face, but the doubt will always be there until you realize I understand what love is now.”
“What is it? Tell me.”
With a grin, he said, “Keeping with the theme of the day, love is a choice. You chose to risk never having true love for the possibility of it. You loved me more than yourself. You loved our daughter more than yourself. You’ve stayed humble about it, too. When I needed space to think about my relationship with Cameron, you gave it to me. And when I messed up and hurt you, you forgave me. You’ve never once turned your back on me. You’ve never failed me. You love me in the truest sense of the word.”
“I do love you, Joey,” she said as a tear slipped down her cheek.
“Well, today I’ve made a choice. I’m going to love you, too. In every way I’m supposed to. Those feelings I thought I would never have suddenly appeared the second I realized it wasn’t intended to be a feeling. Feelings are great, don’t get me wrong, but I was waiting for something superficial. Something that fades with time for everyone. It’s what you were trying to tell me. That one day, we won’t tremble every time we touch. One day, one of us, God forbid, could be in a nursing home or a coma, or whatever… and nothing would change. Our love for each other would still be a choice, every day. And even though I enjoy seeing you naked and get a warm fuzzy every time you’re holding Rachel, the love I have for you stems from something much deeper, something I can’t even put words to.”
“I know how you feel, Joey.” Her heart pounded in her chest and tears had free reign on her cheeks. Tenderly, he wiped them away.
“You do. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving Rachel. And thank you for being my wife. I’m luckiest man on earth,” he whispered, kissing the last of her tears away.
“I think so, too,” Stacey said with a sniff and then giggled.
He laughed. Then his face turned serious and he leaned in, kissing her deeply. Telling her without words how much she meant. He cherished her in his kiss, worshiped her. When he pulled away slightly, he smiled.
&n
bsp; “You know, I do enjoy feeling occasionally, too. And boy do you make me feel…”
At a loss for words, she kissed him again, making it clear she wanted more. But she pushed him away, studying his face, reveling in the moment.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, worry etched on his brow.
“I’m thinking little mousy Stacey Ingram McCrary just landed the hot next door neighbor for life.”
Joey threw his head back and let out a bark of laughter. “I’d say you’re right. And I hope you choose to let me stay and love you the rest of my life.”
“We’ll see what we can work out.”
In a show of flexing muscle and strength, Joey scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom, where they spent the whole night in each other arms.
About the Author
STEPHANIE TAYLOR is a freelance editor, author and business owner. She spends her time making other authors’ dreams come true at Astraea Press as Editor in Chief and Owner. Stephanie opened Astraea Press because of the lack of non-erotic book publishers and has finally found a home for her books.
Stephanie has a doctorate in multi-tasking and can actually walk a tight rope while balancing a dinner plate on her head and typing her next novel with the other. She lives in Alabama with her three children and her wonderful husband of thirteen years.
Also from Stephanie Taylor
Chapter One
Sirens blared. Lights flashed. Adrenaline rushed.
Lucky O’Donnell chased hot on the tail of a white Honda.
“Pull over now, or I’ll shoot your tires,” Lucky announced over his loud speaker.
The car weaved over the double yellow line on the two-way street, and the brake lights angrily glared at him in the near darkness of sunset. He screeched to a halt and readied his gun. His heart kicked into overdrive. After three boring years as sheriff in a hole-in-the-wall town, it was exactly what he needed to remind him of why he chose law enforcement as a career. Tonight, it wasn’t just parking tickets and spats between spouses.
A white-haired, scrawny man, wrinkled with age opened the door and moved at an impossible speed toward the ditch. Lucky was out of his patrol car in a flash.
“Freeze!” Lucky shouted with his gun drawn.
Fear shone in the old man’s eyes and he held his hands up as if to surrender, but his feet kept moving. Did he think he was going to outrun him?
“I said freeze!” Lucky shouted again. He kept his eye on the man and finally started running in his direction when the man showed no signs of slowing down.
Lucky lost sight of the old man as he rounded the car, his gun still aimed. Cautiously inching, he peeked around the edge of the back bumper in a crouch and the sight—and sound—that greeted him caused bile to rise in his throat.
“I don’t care, officer,” the old man called. “Just shoot me.” There in the ditch, the old man squatted with his pants around his ankles, groaning.
Lucky cleared his throat but kept the gun carefully aimed at him, just in case this was a stunt. Although he wasn’t quite sure how it could be. “Keep your hands where I can see them,” Lucky said quietly.
“I have a colonoscopy scheduled tomorrow. I was trying to get home. The laxative’s working a little sooner than I expected. The pharmacist told me it would work fast, but I thought I had to time to run to the store for some toilet paper. I was getting low.” The man gave Lucky a sheepish smile, and with a grunt, an apologetic glance came his way.
Lucky grabbed his walkie-talkie and called in the tag number of the Honda. After a few uncomfortable moments, the dispatcher called back that Mr. Gary Roche was clear. Not even a ticket on his record.
The name rang a bell. He cocked his head to the side and then he remembered. Lana Roche. Cheerleader. Goddess. Momentary love of his life back in high school. This must be a relative.
“Sir, you were trying to evade the police. I’m going to glance inside your vehicle. Are you hiding anything that I should know about?”
The man shook his head. From the looks of things, he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. After a quick scan, the interior revealed a couple of hats, hospital papers, and instructions on how to prepare for a colonoscopy.
“Officer, I know I was speeding. I understand you need to write me a ticket. I’ll be happy to pay it.”
Lucky didn’t look in his direction as more grunts and sounds reached his ears. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The man was obviously telling him the truth. That didn’t mean, however, that he could speed whenever he wanted.
“Not just speeding, sir, reckless endangerment. You were swerving all over the road at speeds over seventy miles per hour on a rural road. Children play in these areas. I should take you in to the station…”
Risking a quick glance in his direction, Mr. Roche stared back at him with sad, aged eyes. Forget it. Lucky didn’t have the heart to take him in.
“But I won’t,” he finished and turned to his patrol car. “Just consider this a warning. I catch you speeding like this again and you’re in big trouble.”
At Mr. Roche’s nod, he holstered his gun and turned.
Out of pity, Lucky walked to his patrol car and grabbed handful of napkins he kept stashed in his glove compartment. When he was within a couple of arms’ lengths away, he tossed them at the old man’s feet and nodded once. The napkins scattered a little, but they could be reached. He wasn’t about to step any closer.
“Hope that helps.”
Mr. Roche called his thanks on the end of a grunt. Intestinal sounds met Lucky’s ears, and he frowned.
Lucky walked back to his car and got inside. Staring at the lights bouncing off the trees around him, he shook his head.
They didn’t call him Lucky for nothing.
*****
“You should come, Lana. It’ll do you good to get some fresh air. The weather is beautiful outside,” Ally Roche said with pleading eyes. Ally tugged gently on her arm, and Lana sighed.
“I just don’t think I can!” Lana groaned as she sat up and placed a hand to her head as the world spun.
“Please?”
“Look, just because you’re my sister doesn’t mean you can pull out the puppy dog eyes. They’ve never worked on Daddy and they certainly don’t work on me.” Irritation laced her voice because the puppy dog eyes did, in fact, work on her. She never said no to Ally.
“Daddy says I can’t go unless you go. You know I’ve been dying to spend some time with Jessica and Zoey.”
“Will Michael be there, too?”
Lana watched her sister’s face go mushy.
“It’s the Fourth of July, after all. It’s a small town. I’m sure he’ll show up.”
Lana chuckled and tested her weight on her noodle legs. So far so good, but the room still spun. Heaving a deep breath, she looked at Ally’s pretty freckles smattered across her nose and her brown locks pulled back in a simple ponytail. She might be seventeen, but she didn’t look a day over twelve.
“Fine, I’ll go. But when I say it’s time to leave, we leave, understood?”
Ally stood erect and clapped her hands together, hopping toward her for a hug.
“Thank you, Lana! You’re the best big sister ever!”
Cocking an eyebrow, Lana looked at her sternly.
“Don’t make me regret this. You know I don’t have much energy.”
“You won’t!”
Immediately, Ally turned and skipped out of the room, most likely to get ready.
Lana fell back on her bed, trying to muster the strength she would need for the coming hours. She could say she was blessed that things weren’t worse, but that didn’t mean the few symptoms she did have weren’t the pits. She closed her eyes and tried to enjoy the carnival ride her equilibrium was on.
An hour later, Lana and Ally left their father’s house and headed across town to the Zeigler mansion, the richest people in the county. Every year they hosted a community-wide event on their large estate and supplied fireworks and re
freshments. This would be the first year in almost ten that Lana had made an appearance.
She still tried to wrap her mind around the thought that she hadn’t been home in ten years. Not once. James had made sure of that. Yet everything was still the same, and it felt like only yesterday that she had driven down these same streets in her first car.
Trees stood a little taller and thicker. A few of the businesses she remembered had been closed and replaced by new ones. But there was still that pothole between Main and Fourth. And the American flag still waved its welcome in front of the public library. Police cars lined the street in front of the courthouse and the police annex just as they had when she was a child.
Lana cracked her car window and lifted her nose to the breeze. A short afternoon shower had brought cooler temperatures. The air even smelled the same, a mixture of honeysuckle and freshly cut grass. It was the little things like this Lana had missed. Literally stopping to smell the roses, or the breeze, as the case might be. For the last ten years, her world had revolved around buying the right kind of canned chili and a certain type of soap. She had made sure dinner was on the table at a certain time. Exercised to maintain her figure. Made sure she was available for sex on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
The wheels in her mind squealed to a halt as she put the brakes on her train of thought. She’d sworn to herself that coming home would mean starting over and being rid of James. Lana would not feel sorry for herself. It was her fault alone that things had gone on for as long as long as they had. But she’d hoped for so many years that their relationship would get better and they wouldn’t become a statistic. For a while, she had loved James enough for the both of them.
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