by B. B. Hamel
But now, suddenly, I felt incredibly alone. I had nobody but Alexei, and he couldn’t help me. I was responsible for him, responsible for keeping him safe. My family wasn’t going to help, and only Vince was willing to keep me safe.
I didn’t know how I had ended up here: alone in a room I didn’t know, surrounded by people I didn’t trust. I walked over to Alexei and picked up him, holding him against my chest softly.
It was just me and Alexei. I had to do what I could for us, for him, figure out what was best for the both of us. I couldn’t rely on my family or on Vince.
I had to keep my son safe. War or not, that was my top priority.
Chapter 20
Vince
I woke up around one. After Kaley left, I’d gotten a few more hours of much-needed sleep.
I felt a little bad about the way I had talked to her, but fuck it. She had brought about this war, all because of her actions, and so she needed to know the truth about it. Men were going to die because she’d come to us for help, and although I clearly had some part in making the damn kid, I didn’t ask her to run away from home and show up on my doorstep.
Still, I shouldn’t be a fucking prick. She was the mother of my kid and still incredibly gorgeous on top of that, and even when I was pissed and exhausted from a long night of violence, I still wanted her. But with that baby in her lap, it was hard to do anything more than just stare at her.
I rolled off the couch and took a quick shower, my mind still roaming around Kaley’s body from the day before. I loved the way her pussy felt wrapped around my hard cock and the way our bodies moved together.
I was hard as fuck when I got out of the shower, dripping wet. I toweled off and tried to get my mind right, but it was so damn hard.
I finally managed to get myself dressed. I left my room and went down the hall, downstairs, and into my office.
“Morning, boss,” Rafa said.
“Morning,” I grunted at him. “Any news?”
“Nothing from the Russians,” he said.
I sat down at my desk, kicking my feet up on the top. Most people didn’t think of mobsters as having a desk, but most of our work was fucking calling people and making deals. It was just easier to have a spot to get that shit done.
Rafa spun around to look at me. “We should hit them back soon, boss.”
“No shit,” I said.
“What do you want to do?”
I shook my head. “I have some ideas.”
“They have that deli on Tasker,” he said. “We could torch it.”
I laughed. “The fuck is it with you and fire, Rafa?”
He grinned. “I don’t know, boss. I just have a thing for it, I guess.”
“That’s always your answer for shit: Let’s just burn it.”
“Can’t help myself.”
“Well, it’s not a bad idea,” I said. “I’ll think about it.”
As I moved from the desk to grab some coffee, there was a knock as the door opened.
Lucas nodded at me as he came into the room. “Vince, Rafa. Glad you guys are okay.”
“Fuckers got it worse,” I said, pouring myself some coffee.
“I heard you did some serious work,” he said. “My father wanted me to come down and congratulate you.”
“Yeah, well, they’ll think twice about fucking with me.”
“Vince, come here,” Lucas said, stepping out.
I nodded at Rafa and followed Lucas into the hall. He shut the door.
“Why were you guys there again?” he asked me.
“Did a little deal with the Latinos, cash for drugs. Thought it was straight until the Russians attacked.”
“You think the Latinos sold you out?”
“Maybe,” I said. “Thought occurred to me.”
“You got the money?”
“Yeah,” I said. “But I still have a problem.”
“Tell me.”
“My Chinese contact says we need a hundred grand to get the guns out of customs. I got fifty, but I need another fifty.”
Lucas nodded. “I’ll ask my father.”
“Good. I can repay it, but it’ll take time. I had planned on flipping these guns.”
“I know,” Lucas said. “We appreciate your help.”
“You fucking better.”
He laughed. “Shit, after you took down a Russian hit squad, I think everyone has a lot of respect for you right now.”
“What about the girl?” I asked.
“What about her?”
“She’s still going to be protected?”
“As far as I know, she is.” Lucas shrugged and leaned up against the wall. “Helps that the kid is really yours.”
“Fuck,” I said. “I know.”
“How’s it feel to be a dad?”
“Strange,” I said honestly. “I don’t really feel anything about it.”
“Yeah, you might not at first. Might take you a bit.”
“Not sure I want it to.”
Lucas frowned and didn’t say anything right away. Two years ago, Lucas would have felt exactly the same as I did. But now that he had Natalie and his kids, he was like a different guy.
“Listen,” he said. “You don’t want to be in this girl’s life? Fine, don’t. But that kid is your kid; you can’t walk from that.”
“I don’t plan on walking,” I said, annoyed. “Thanks for the advice, Saint Lucas.”
“Fuck you,” he said. “I’m trying to help.”
“I’ll take care of the kid,” I said. “I’m just not father material.”
“Yeah,” he grunted. “None of us are.” He patted me on the shoulder. “I’ll get the money.”
“Good.”
He nodded and then turned and headed off down the hall.
I watched him go for a second, and then my thoughts turned back to Kaley.
The idea of becoming a father in the middle of a violent war made no sense to me. I could be killed at any moment, my life snuffed out in blood and death. Kaley needed something serious and substantial if she was going to raise Alexei right, and I didn’t think I could provide that.
I was a mobster. I lived my life fast and violent, and that was all I knew. I had no idea how to be a father, or if I even could be a father.
I’d give her money, as much money as I could. Maybe I’d even put it in my will so that she got everything I had if I got killed. But what else could I do?
I wasn’t a role model. I couldn’t be that type of father for Alex, even if he was half me.
Frustrated, I went back into the office. Rafa glanced up as I walked past him, but he didn’t say anything. I sat down at my desk, leaned back in my chair, and closed my eyes.
What else could I fucking do? I wanted to keep Kaley safe and close. I wanted to help raise Alex.
But I lived life my own damn way and always would.
Chapter 21
Kaley
Sonya was changing Alex when there was a knock at my door. I walked over and opened it, assuming it was the food I had ordered not long ago.
“Hi, princess,” Vince said.
I looked at him, mildly surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“Thought you’d come for a walk.”
“I have to watch Alex,” I said.
“No, you don’t,” Sonya called out from the other room.
Vince grinned at me. “See? Come on.”
“Vince,” I said, but he had already turned and started to walk away.
Annoyed, I went after him. I didn’t want to get treated like a jerk again, like he had treated me earlier that morning. He looked a little bit better, though I wished he didn’t have that shirt on. I definitely preferred him bare-chested and laughing at me. His dirty grins and his body drove me wild.
“What do you want?” I asked him.
“Just to talk.”
“You didn’t seem like you wanted to talk earlier.”
“Yeah, well,” he said, “I’d had a long night and you wok
e me up.”
“Fine,” I said. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Come on,” he said. “We’ll get to that.”
I bit my lip but kept following him, not sure where he was taking me. I wanted to stay pissed at him for earlier, but there was just something so magnetic about him. And besides, I wanted to be on good terms with him, if at least because he was Alexei’s father.
But more than that, I wanted to be on good terms with him because he made me feel so good. I couldn’t explain it, but every cocky grin drove me absolutely wild. He should have been everything I despised, just another arrogant, mafia asshole, but he wasn’t. He sent thrills down my spine every time I was around him, made my head dizzy, my whole body buzzing with need for him.
As we walked, I began to recognize some things, and he finally stopped in front of a door. He swiped his key and we walked inside.
It was the greenhouse room from the other day, the one with the statue of Condita Barone. It was the same humid atmosphere, the same plants all over. We had come in through a different entrance, but I recognized it as soon as we were in there.
He led me to the central part of the room, where the statue was, and sat down on a small bench. I stayed standing in front of him.
“Why are we here?” I asked.
“No cameras,” he said. “Nobody is watching or listening.”
“Are they really always watching?”
“Yeah, they’re always watching you. Can you blame them?”
That annoyed me. “Yeah, I can. You’re the father of my son. You’d think they’d back off now that the test came back.”
He shrugged. “You’re still the daughter of our enemy.”
“Fine. Is that all you brought me here for, just to make me feel guilty?”
He shook his head and stretched his arm along the back of the bench. “You don’t need to feel guilty.”
“Hard not to when people are dying because of me.”
He barked a laugh. “Remember what Arturo said? None of this is for you or because of you.”
“Still. It’s happening because of me.”
“Yeah. But it would have happened regardless of you. We’ve been on the edge of war with the Russians for a long time.”
I nodded once. “Fine. Okay. It’s not my fault.”
“Good.” He stared at me, and the memory of his mouth against my clit came rushing back. I glanced at the tree where he’d gotten me off and quickly looked back at him, trying to pretend like I wasn’t thinking about it.
But I didn’t think he noticed.
“I did bring you here for a reason,” he said. “I want to talk about Alex.”
“Okay. What do you want to say?”
“Look.” He cleared his throat. “I’m not exactly the fathering type, you know?”
“Okay,” I said, feeling nothing but dread. “I know that.”
“I don’t know what I can give this kid, you know?”
“I’m not asking anything from you, Vince,” I said. “Just protection until this all blows over.”
“Yeah, okay.” He looked pained, and I wanted to leave. “I’m just saying, I don’t know if I’ll be alive tomorrow, let alone able to raise a kid.”
“I understand that.”
“I love my life fast and hard, princess, but don’t think I’m just passing this off.”
“I don’t expect you to be around to change diapers, Vince,” I said quickly. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I’m going to provide for him and you,” he said. “I’ll give you money every month or something at least.”
“I don’t need your money,” I said, harsher than I had intended. “I can take care of myself.”
“For the kid then,” he said. “Save it for college or something.”
“If that’s what you want to do with your money, I won’t stop you,” I said. “But I don’t expect or need anything from you. This is already enough.”
I meant every word I said to him. I really didn’t expect him to drop everything and become a father overnight. I knew what kind of man he was and how he lived his life, and I knew that Alexei didn’t fit into his plans.
But hearing him say it hurt. It felt like he was rejecting me, and worse, he was rejecting his own son. It felt like he wanted to toss me aside and use his money to somehow make himself feel better.
And as much as I wanted to storm away, I still needed him. The way he looked at me with that pained expression only made me want to kiss him that much more. It was so messed up, but I couldn’t help myself. I knew Vince wasn’t a bad man, that deep down inside him he was a decent guy, or at least the sort of man that protected the people he cared about. But it still hurt to be rejected, and I wanted to storm out of there.
I wasn’t going to do that, though. I wasn’t going to give him more reasons to want to abandon Alexei. Even if he didn’t want anything to do with me, I needed to be on good terms with him for Alexei’s sake.
I crossed my arms and waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t.
“Is that it?” I asked, finally breaking the silence.
“Yeah, guess so.”
“Do what you want, Vince. I’m not forcing anything on you.”
“Sure.”
I gave him a look and then turned and quickly walked away. I pushed open the door and left as fast as I could, hoping he mistook my fast exit for anger and not for hurt.
I didn’t want him to see the pain on my face. I had never expected him to instantly want to be a part of Alexei’s life, but there was still some small part of me that had thought he would want to be anyway.
I had to be more realistic and remember what kind of man Vince was. He was a killer, a mobster, a hard man.
I couldn’t expect him to go from a badass mafia crew leader to a baby’s daddy in a single day.
Chapter 22
Vince
I hadn’t expected the look on her face.
Maybe she’d been trying to hide it, but she did a pretty shit job. I had seen the anguish and pain on her face clear as day as soon as I began talking.
I hadn’t expected that. She knew what I was and what I did, and I was already risking a lot to keep her safe. She couldn’t have expected to show up on my doorstep with some fucking baby and expect me to drop everything to become its father.
Most of all, I hadn’t expected how I’d react when I saw her in pain. I figured it would be uncomfortable, maybe a little awkward. I’d never told a chick I didn’t want to be her fucking baby daddy, castrated and pathetic, changing diapers all fucking day. But I really hadn’t expected feeling so shitty about the whole thing, and I’d instantly regretted saying it.
But she left before I had a chance to take it back. That shit was already out there anyway. It was hanging in the air, and there was no going back from that.
Fucking hell. I was trying to run a war while trying to figure out if I wanted to be a father or not. All the while, the mother of my kid was so fucking delicious that I felt like I wanted to throw her down and strip her clothes off every single time I was anywhere near her. That made it pretty difficult to keep my damn distance.
I gave her a minute before I left the plant room. Out in the hall, my phone began to buzz. It was a text from Lucas telling me to meet him in Arturo’s office in ten minutes.
I sighed to myself, shaking my head. What the fuck did Arturo want now? He was probably going to give me shit for killing those Russians, though I didn’t feel bad about it one bit. It was self-defense, and, plus, we were in a fucking war. I was going to be killing a lot more Russians before this thing was over.
I wandered the halls to kill a few minutes before finally ending up outside Arturo’s door. I knocked once.
“Come,” he said.
I pushed the door open. Lucas was sitting in one of the chairs in front of the desk, and Arturo gestured for me to sit.
“Good to see you, Vincent,” Arturo said. “I’m glad those Russian fucks didn�
�t get to you.”
“I’m not easy to kill, sir,” I said.
“Very good.” He looked at Lucas. “Tell him the good news.”
“We have your money,” he said.
“Good. Bao will be pleased.”
“As much as we care about his opinion,” Arturo said, “make sure the weapons are worth it. There is a lot of money in this.”
I nodded. “Everything will be good to go.”
Lucas stood up. “We’ll take care of it.”
I stood. “Thank you, sir.”
“Just keep up the good work. Kill some more of those fucks.”
I grinned. “I will.”
We turned and quickly left. Lucas shook his head, laughing. “I haven’t seen the old man worked up like that in a long time.”
“I thought he was going to be pissed about the dead bodies.”
“Pissed?” Lucas laughed again, shaking his head. “He’s fucking excited.”
“Guess he didn’t get to where he is by being afraid of violence.”
“Guess not.” We walked back through the hall, heading toward my office. “Money should be down with Rafa now. Arturo wants the guns here as soon as possible.”
“Got it. We’ll make the drop tomorrow.”
“Good. And hey, stop going into my mom’s fucking garden.”
I laughed. “How do you know?”
“Security tells me. I don’t know what you’re doing in there, but cut it out. I’m sure it’s not something that honors my mother’s memory.”
“Come on, Lucas,” I said, grinning, “I’m just leaving flowers at her feet.”
“Right. Probably in there fucking that Russian girl of yours.”
I smirked. “I wish. She’s been tough lately.”
“Why? Pissed you don’t want to play daddy?”
“Yeah, actually,” I said.
Lucas laughed at me. “Shit. You’re kidding. You actually told her that?”
“What? I was trying to be honest.”
We stopped outside my office door, and Lucas looked totally mystified. “You dumb fuck,” he said. “How long have you known? A day or two?”