Slowly, John edged away from Annalette, and it was then that she realized he was still holding her hand. It had felt so right that she barely noticed it. He guided her away from the oak and deeper into the woods until the river was completely out of sight.
“Have you had many dealings with the wood reeves?” she asked once she knew they were a safe distance away.
John released her hand, but his gaze continually reverted to the north as if he were still looking for the reeve. “Quite a lot, actually.”
There were so many things Annalette still didn’t know about John. None of it should have mattered, though. Her task was to rescue her brother, not become friends with a gajo loup-garou. Yet perhaps asking more probing questions could get her what she wanted. If he chose to answer her, that could be a sign that he trusted her. After the slight blunder outside of Chilham, she needed to try and make herself valuable again.
“Out of the one hundred years you have been a loup-garou, how long have you spent wandering the forests? Surely, you haven’t lived your entire life out here.”
John adjusted the pack strap on his shoulder, and his lips pulled in a belligerent look as if he didn’t want to tell her, but at the same time, he did. “It’s hard to tell the passage of time. Perhaps a few decades.”
“And before that?”
John bowed his head for a moment, then looked to her, assessing her for something. Whatever it was, she wasn’t sure if he found it before he answered, “The day the demon… the wolf… took over my body, I ran from the manor. I left my mother and grandmother without any warning. I thought that the demon would hurt them and I didn’t want to give it that chance. I searched for help to rid myself of the demon. I went to priests and the tombs of saints, hoping they could drive it out, but they couldn’t.
“When I found that none of them could help me, I knew I had to keep myself from hurting others.” He took a deep breath. “I went to London. There’s a place where they keep people who are not fit for proper society. They had the means to lock me away. I was there for three days. I sat in my cell and listened to the screaming and deranged wailing of the others who were there. They were the slow, the mad, the insane. Bethlehem Hospital was a place to keep them all so the outside world wouldn’t have to deal with them. It proved to be no place for me.”
Annalette forced herself to watch the swirling emotions in his eyes as he told his story. Annalette had spent most of her life in the fresh air and open spaces. To be locked away behind stone walls seemed unthinkable. If she were not already out of her mind going in, she would be crazy coming out.
For a loup-garou, it would have been the same. The wolf needed freedom. It needed to run and hunt, but John wouldn’t have known that.
“Did you leave after the three days?”
John cleared his throat, and his voice dropped into a deep tone. “I did, but not as a man. I wasn’t due to change for another few weeks, but I could feel the spirit growing restless. It changed, and I found my way out. By the time I came to my senses, I was standing naked in the streets. The chains the guards had bound me with had been broken by the beast, and there was blood on my hands. Under the darkness of night, I fled the city and vowed never to return until I knew I wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
“So, you fled to the woods.”
He nodded. “I knew that was the only place I could go where the spirit – the wolf – would not cause too much trouble. Those two men who attacked you were the first I had killed in years.”
Annalette blocked the impulse to think of the men and hardened her heart against the guilt. “You didn’t seem too bothered by it.”
John was silent for a few moments before he replied, “I’m not bothered by it because I haven’t allowed myself to be bothered. The wolf is the one who killed them, not me. When I heard you scream and I saw that you were in danger, I let the spirit take control and do what needed to be done.”
“You saw that killing them was necessary?”
“The wolf did,” he said. “But that doesn’t make it any less of a sin.”
Sins and demons. That’s all he had ever thought of or talked about. The sin of being a bastard child. The sin of being demon possessed. The sin of murder. There had to be something else to his life. Something else to look back upon with fondness. From what he had told her, there was nothing but darkness and sadness.
Annalette wished that she could have changed that in some grander way to show him he was not possessed. It didn’t help him that the foundation upon which he had staked his claim for the last century was crumbling beneath his bare feet. Now he had more questions and more worries. Annalette might not have been helping at all.
That should have been none of her concern. After her brother was safely back with her vitsa, she would not see John again. She could not leave her family to go on a wild goose chase for an alpha or her uncle. She had never heard of another loup-garou in England besides the baker whom John told her about. If the baker didn’t know an alpha or was not an alpha himself, it would be near impossible to find another. She was not willing to give up her family for an impossible mission such as what John wanted.
However, she would not let John know that. As far as he knew, she would go to whatever lengths were necessary to help him. It was too bad that despite her growing attachment to him, she could not save his soul.
“You speak of sins, but your heart is pure,” she stated.
John chuckled, hoping it would hide the storm within him. Annalette’s words, her mannerisms, everything was threatening to unravel him. Telling her about his time in London had pried open his heart further than he was comfortable. “What do you know of my heart? Is it true what they say of your people, that you can see the future and know a person’s deepest secrets just by looking at them?”
She shrugged. “There are some who claim to have such powers, but I am not one of them. I just know that you have been kind to me, which tells much about your character. The English hate the Romani, and despite your first hesitance, you seem to be… content with me.”
Content was putting it mildly. When he threatened to leave her just outside of Chilham, John realized how much he had grown accustomed to her company. He would sorely miss her wild scent and the sound of her heavy skirts that whispered with each step.
Thankfully, she had promised that their journey together would not end after they reached Canterbury. Though he still wasn’t sure how they would get her brother out of prison, he consoled himself that his reward would be within sight.
All he had to do was keep his thoughts from slipping into the forbidden place that her eyes beckoned him to explore. He had never known the love of a woman, but he desperately wanted to believe that Annalette could show him.
“I will admit that I can’t understand why no man would want you. Surely money couldn’t be the only thing to stop you from taking a suitor?”
Annalette crossed her arms in the same way she did whenever she talked about her inadequacies as a Romani woman. “As I told you, it’s not just about the money. I would be a disgraceful wife. As it is, I’m a disgraceful daughter, too. I don’t do my fair share of work in the camp sometimes.”
“If I had my way with this country, no woman would work.”
She huffed. “So, we would be forced to stay home with the children?”
“Not necessarily. But I would make it so no woman would be forced to work. They could if they chose, of course.”
“If we do not have children and work, then what are we supposed to do with our lives? Twiddle our thumbs until the husband comes home and then pamper him?”
John rubbed the back of his neck and tried not to feel uncomfortable in this conversation about husbands, wives, and marriages. “You can do whatever you want.” He looked to her. “If you didn’t have chores like washing or cooking, what would you do with your day?”
Annalette thought for a moment and then smiled. It was a beautiful sight. If only she would smile more often. “I would travel, as I have
always done, but I would leave England. I’d go to France, perhaps Italy and the countries to the east. There is so much to explore and see.”
Her zeal was contagious and John returned her smile. “And what would you do when you arrived at those places?”
She looked to the sky and spun as she walked with her arms stretched out. “I’d do just this. I’d walk. The forests of Scotland are different than here, so they must be different everywhere else. I want to see the forests and know the creatures of it.”
For a brief moment, he saw the child she must have been years ago before the responsibilities of adulthood stole her joy away. “Have you always wanted to do this? Or was it your loup-garou uncle who inspired such a desire?”
“He encouraged it, but I’ve always wanted to travel this way.”
John grew bold. “Then you should. You should travel and see the forests of the world.”
The smile faded from her lips, and it was as if the sun had been hidden behind a dark rain cloud. If only John had the right wind to push away the sadness once more and bring back the light. “It’s not right for a woman to travel alone. See what it got me in Wye? The world isn’t safe for a woman, especially me.”
“Then I’ll make it safe.” The words slipped out so fast that John hardly knew they were spoken until Annalette shot him a curious look. “I mean, I can go with you. England has always been my home, but I know it too well. Perhaps it’s time for a change. If we traveled together, I’d make sure no one would bother you.”
Annalette gave him a strained smile and then looked away.
“Unless your dream of roaming does not involve a partner.”
“It’s not that,” she said. “It’s that I had always thought I would travel with my husband, not a stranger.”
John tried to keep his heart from slipping from his chest. “You can hardly call me a stranger anymore. And by the time we get your brother out of Canterbury, we would be far from unacquainted.”
“That may be true,” she sighed. “But it is a fantasy. I can never leave my family, no matter how much I’d like to travel.”
John wanted to take her in his arms and squeeze her until she admitted that she didn’t need her family, that she could live without them, but he could not force her to say the things she didn’t mean. No matter how wonderful her dream was or how much it meant to her, Annalette would not let herself be free of her family bonds. He understood that, but it didn’t mean he had to like it.
“If you ever do decide to break away, promise you’ll find me?”
She looked at him, a soft and carefully neutral expression written on her face. “I promise… As long as I’m not married before then, of course,” she added with a witty shrug.
“Of course,” he replied and watched the way the sunlight gleamed in her raven hair as she looked away.
Chapter 6
The evening sky blazed with bright pastel shades of red, orange, and magenta. It was a spectacular sunset to chase away the storm clouds from earlier that afternoon. Though John was content to keep moving, Annalette had convinced him to take the detour she had been planning.
“How do you know they can be trusted?” the loup-garou asked as they approached the quaint cottage that sat upon acres of farmland just outside of Canterbury. They were less than a half hour’s walk from the edge of town, and despite the short stop due to the rain, they made excellent time.
“My brother was with this family just before he was arrested,” she explained as she gazed up at the humble home. “We came to do some work for them on our way to Dover. They were the last to see him and treated us well.”
She looked to John, who appeared leery of the idea of staying with the family, despite her assurances. Annalette wasn’t so sure of the plan herself, mostly due to the raging emotions that boiled within her. Staying calm was crucial to the plan. Their talk from earlier had laid a dangerous groundwork for digressing thoughts and unholy ideas.
“Think of this as a way to practice your etiquette,” she said. “You will need to learn how to talk to people again.”
John sighed, and though the sun was dipping below the treeline, the dim light cast his face in a glow that made her heart pound a little faster. She couldn’t push aside the memory of how he had loaned her the coat to keep out the rain, though it was meager in the way of adequate shelters. It was the gesture that grabbed her attention.
Just moments before he revealed such sensitivity, he had been willing to leave her alone in the wilderness. The only reason he seemed to care now was that he knew she was more than just alone in the countryside. She was romantically alone as well.
That, and she was willing to give him something for his troubles, something that he couldn’t get elsewhere, but the deed wasn’t done. She had to give him something more to keep his interest, though it would go against everything Romani women embodied.
Then there was the way he talked of traveling the world together. It would have been forbidden by her people. They were not married, and he was not Romani. It was marime just to think of such things, and yet, she had fallen in love with the idea of having him by her side. It was marime just to be associating with a loup-garou and a gajo. It was ridiculous, and her heart beat wildly against the unfairness of her people’s traditions.
Her uncle had made her realize how flawed their culture could be. There was nothing wrong with being loup-garou, yet her family believed him to be cursed and impure. John believed something similar, but they were both wrong. Why would she want to be part of a people who would exile such perfect creatures from their world?
If she found her own way, then perhaps she would have a chance for a better life. What could the world offer her? What could John offer her?
She had heard of Romani who purposefully disengaged themselves from their own vitsas to seek better lives. They did not survive. The law of the land did not permit them or any other homeless vagrant to go unpunished. Though Annalette believed herself to be strong and capable of living outside of the safety of her vitsa, she knew that it wouldn’t be enough. She needed her people, flawed as they were.
They stepped up to the threshold and Annalette took the honor of rapping upon the heavy pine door.
The farmer’s wife, Mary, greeted them. Her dark eyes went wide at the sight of the Romani. “Annalette! It’s so good to see you!” she cried, but Annalette saw straight through her hesitance. It was likely that Mary never expected to see her again.
Mary’s bright eyes looked to John, and she seemed to struggle to keep the fake smile on her lips. “Who is your companion?” she asked. More than likely, the farmer’s wife might have been wondering where their chaperone was, as well. She would need to know how many the town watches would need to capture before the night was through.
It took her utmost composure to speak civilly to the woman. “May I present John Croxen,” Annalette replied with a respectful gesture to the loup-garou. “John, this is Mary Thompson.”
John looked just as tentative as Mary and bowed his head. “A pleasure, madam.”
Annalette grinned, happy to see that he still remembered something of being a human gentleman.
Mary curtsied and moved aside to allow them inside. “Please, come in.” The cottage was small, just big enough for the farmer, his wife, and their young son who was sitting on the floor of the common area playing with a wooden horse toy.
Annalette greeted the boy with just as much warmth as she had with Mary, but John was at a loss for what to say or do.
“Henry should be coming in from the fields soon,” Mary said as she moved towards the kitchen area where a fire was blazing beneath a pot of stew. “He’s rounding up the last of the flock.”
“What livestock do you raise?” John asked.
Annalette froze. Had so much changed in just a few days? “I thought you grew cabbage, Mary?”
Mary let out one of her bubbling laughs. “We do. Henry was struck by this odd notion to expand our income by herding sheep, as well, but I
have yet to see the usefulness of it.”
Annalette nodded. So that was it. The family needed money.
She looked to John who didn’t seem bothered by the fact that there was potential game outside the house, but perhaps he had learned to temper the hunting instinct over the years. Though, she knew that John would need to eat soon, and the stew, though it smelled hearty and delicious, would not satisfy the belly of a loup-garou.
“Everyone eats lamb,” Annalette remarked with a helpful upturn of her voice to hide her growing disquiet about being under Mary’s roof. “And you could always sell the wool at market.”
Mary shrugged as she lifted the pot lid to stir the soupy contents. “This is true. It might be too soon to tell, but I feel as if our cabbage patches put food on the table, more so than those sheep.”
“Why are you so big?” cried Daniel, the little boy who had snuck up behind the visitors in the kitchen.
John quickly turned and stood as a giant in front of the gangly youth with bright blonde hair. As a loup-garou, he could have easily broken the boy’s body in two. The images of those two men from the night before, mangled and lifeless, came to Annalette’s mind. She knew exactly what John was capable of, but judging by the obvious awkwardness exchanged between the two, she knew that the burly man wouldn’t harm a hair on the boy’s head if he could help it.
“He’s a blacksmith, Daniel,” Annalette replied, knowing that John wouldn’t have been prepared for such a question. All loups-garous were strong and powerful, able to crush a skull with their bare hands or fell a tree without the help of an axe. John was no different, and the bulging muscles beneath his tunic were a testament to that.
“A blacksmith? Gallius wasn’t as big as him, though.”
“Daniel,” Mary scolded. “Stop being rude to our guests.”
“It’s all right, madam,” John said before turning back to the child. “I used to cut timber as a boy. I’ve done hard, honest labor all my life.”
Annalette knew it was a lie, but crouched down to be at eye level with Daniel. “And if you worked hard, you could be just as big as John one day.”
The Legend Page 6