by Tina Smith
“I don’t know that I want to live in a world where I can’t,” he admitted, and he said it because he hopped it stung her to hear it, that even if he let Angele touch him that way, he would still prefer something she was not.
He placed his forehead on his hands inadvertently shaking off her lingering hand and let his forehead rest over the railing. He clasped the chain and tags tightly.
He shrugged off her advance and looked at her.
“Well it’s been a long night, I’m going to go to bed.” He hoped the implication was understood.
“I can help you.” Her mouth crackled softly with moisture.
He looked questioningly at her, trying to think if she meant with the upturned room or whether she was offering more than that. He was about to say ‘no that’s okay’ when she smiled and said, “With the mattress.” She batted her lids and he almost enjoyed rebuffing her blatant flirting as though he was oblivious to it.
“Thanks, that’s okay, I’m pretty bushed; Blair will help me if I need it.”
“Sky, Narine’s sending me out soon.” She called behind him, “On a mission…” she trailed. Men had always been so easy for her, so his rejection stung.
He walked away pretending not to hear her, rubbing his neck. As soon as he got in the room he closed the door and eyed the numbers again, away from prying eyes. He pulled a calendar off the wall and checked the date. Three weeks from the day's date matched the tag, date, month, year - the other numbers had to be time, the others coordinates? 12.11.12 2.00AM 36.45S-147.57E. None of the others had noticed - he had barely noticed! And now it was glaringly obvious, only he had been in the army in the nineteen-seventies, none of the others would have a clue what the numbers on a dog tag should look like.
Lila had been very clever and not very stupid. As he had first thought. She had evaded Cresida and Reid. Not to mention the whole town, the police and the pack, which was growing - now that the new girls Dahlia and Aylish were here. They were all searching for her and somehow she had evaded all of them, for days. But she hadn’t left the area. Even though he had left her, did this mean she still loved him and understood, maybe even had someone helping her?
Somehow, Sky would have to avoid suspicion and being followed to the rendezvous point, which he figured was 2.00 am, less than 10 days from now. He examined the tags again; there was no clue as to where. Every letter was the same size as the original; somehow she had gotten someone to copy the original tag exactly and change the numbers. Something only he would notice.
He smiled; he knew then that Lila was fighting, despite everything, and he was so happy he nearly laughed. He pulled the mattress back onto the bed base and he lay in the sheets she had touched, inhaling her, before he would have to wash them. As a sign he was no longer partial to her, he had to do what any of them would have done to prove he was loyal now to the pack. He knew Narine was keeping watch on him for signs. He had to maintain their trust if he was to get away to see her without getting caught or, worse, leading them to her. So he kept up appearances, and painstaking as it was, he went down to the laundry, under the house through Sam’s end room and down the side balcony stairs.
He pretended it didn’t hurt him to numbly pour detergent over the sheets and watch the only trace of her existence be washed away in a cloud of suds. Had he been above suspicion; he would have taken the feather also, though it reminded him of Samantha and a time long ago. What was Lila doing? He took an unsteady breath. They all had her scent, now imbedded in their nostrils; they would know her as easily as him, if the wind blew towards them. The entire pack now waited for her return and Sky wished she had just run, run off and never come back.
As he thought deeply about what to do and everything that was transpiring, his ears pricked up as he heard a noise at the front door and saw through the door of the laundry the figure of a girl – Aylish, running as fast as her legs would move into the daylight, away from the house. He caught sight of her fling herself into phase, so violently he knew it must have hurt like hell for a split second, as her bones conformed too hastily. He wondered if Angele would follow after on her upcoming ‘mission’ soon. The washer turned to spin cycle and began to vibrate and he knew if he could manage it he would meet her.
11. Black Lashes
Blair had that walk, one Dahlia knew from observing cops like him. Something jangled on his belt as he approached her across the balcony.
She noted his pragmatic presence from the corner of her eye. He had short, slightly spiky sandy brown hair with an encroaching five o’clock shadow growing in over his creamy white skin, and though he was dressed in an old T-shirt and jeans, he may as well be wearing the uniform. He exuded the choleric attitude of a cop.
“So what’s your story Dahlia?” he asked casually, but she felt this was an investigation of sorts.
“Hasn’t Paws filled you all in?” And she did secretly wonder how much of her history this guy knew. She gave a polite smile with her brightly painted lips.
“No, actually,” he looked about and his forehead wrinkled, “on your account he has been quiet.”
“That’s unusual.” Her manicured brow arched.
Perhaps he should have laughed. “So what’s the deal, why did you leave?” he asked. He tried to avoid staring at her in that dress that looked at least one size too small.
“Aylish was a fugitive,” she admitted plainly.
“You’ve been outrunning us cops all this time?” He snickered under his breath, which smelt of beer, as he leant on the rail.
“Only to end up here with you.” Their eyes met and she blinked shyly. He noticed her lashes were so long they brushed her pink cheeks – the effect of too much blush.
“So you went with her, right? But what’s the connection between you two?” he asked, seeming to stand taller as he spoke.
“Our connection only evolved after we went. I was fresh.” She smiled without humor. “Paws asked me to leave with her.” She shrugged. Dahlia knew that life could change a lot in ten minutes. She recalled how much more charismatic Paws was back then as leader, but maybe it was just her that time had changed.
“What did she do that was so bad she had to run?”
Dahlia was shocked he had to ask, but saw no threat in his eyes as he waited for the answer. “She murdered her children.” She waited a moment for his reaction. “I suppose I don’t have to tell you time means little to us. How old are you?” Her eyes smiled. The first ten years had been a blur, hadn’t mattered to her, after that she had thought they would return. But Aylish was adamant.
He looked up and thought. “Three years this April.” His voice was a husky timbre.
“Yesterday,” she uttered knowingly, in a sweet distant tone.
“I suppose it’s been longer for you,” he chuckled uneasily.
“Thirty three years and another lifetime ago.” She balanced her bright heeled foot on the wooden balcony and swayed, suggestively.
“How old were you when you were turned?” he asked reflectively.
“Is this an interrogation, officer?” She smiled and laughed a little, in a quiet, breathy way. It had been a long, long time since she had encountered another heterosexual male wolf. Working at the magazine she had barely encountered straight human men. She knew she was hardly containing her desperate eyes and heaving chest.
“Sorry,” he laughed with a slight nervous embarrassment, “old habits.” He sighed.
She hoped he had asked how old she was for different reasons though.
“Die hard.” She swished her long glossy black hair back from her shoulders.
“And you?”
“Um...oh I was twelve,” she said contemplatively. But she didn’t mention she knew she was an apology to Aylish by Paws.
“That young, huh?” he mused. Insightful.
“Uh-huh.” The only life Dahlia had known was with her friend, but she always knew she would love the pack, like a long lost child pining for the family she never knew. “Can I ask you to do so
mething for me?” Her voice was childlike. She batted her fake eyelashes shyly.
“We only just met, but tell me.” He sipped his empty beer and when she waited for his reply he added, “I’ll see what I can do,” with an honest expression about his handsome face.
“I think Aylish needs Lonnie here or she’ll run again - I know Paws doesn’t want that, for whatever reason - we left him in Queenbeyan. He should still be there. Could you make sure he follows us?” She asked more sternly as her stunning blue eyes met his.
He could see she was serious about this. “You want me to find him?”
“No I want you to get him here, so Aylish feels calmer.” She spoke with her hands now outstretched on the balcony, tapping her palm on the top of the railing. He assessed it was a show that she was being honest, not demanding.
He thought how she must be a good friend to ask it. “Sure I’ll talk to Narine. Why did you and Aylish leave him anyway?” He moved to lean on the railing closer beside her.
She shrugged.
Blair nodded silently. “If Sam doesn’t go back for this guy, I‘ll help you bring him here,” he assured her, though he wasn’t sure if he would.
“Maybe he just wanted her,” she said referring to Aylish, when she realized what he had said. “Thanks. Hey, you’re alright, for a cop,” she admitted with an overly shy smirk as her cheeks warmed.
“I’m one of you,” he smirked in return.
“I know.” She smiled back with white teeth again and blinked her jet black lashes.
Dahlia felt new to the pack, but Blair was a baby compared to her which gave her more confidence. He seemed to treat her with the esteem of an old member, and that pleased her. She had never felt like she belonged to the pack, but now that she was finally here it was as though they had considered her a member, always. He gave her a regard that she was flattered by.
For tonight though, she was tired. It was a no moon night - dark and quiet. Stressed she rubbed her face smoothing back her manicured brows.
“Where do we sleep?”
He half smiled. “I guess with the girls, Bealy has room in hers. I’ll give you the tour,” She smiled pleasantly in return.
“Shell’s out at the moment. Genna’s at the hospital, she’s a nurse.” She would want her bed. “You and Aylish can crash here.” Shell was down below in the basement, but he tucked the thought away.
“That’s Sky’s room.” He pointed to the left, into a room with a double bed “That’s Tyler’s around the corner.” He pointed down the hall past Sam’s door.
“Where’s yours?” she said huskily with a delicate smile and lazy eyelids.
“Across the hall,” he pointed, “and Narine and Paws have the main downstairs room. Bianca and Sam have the other room there.” He gestured to the end of the hall. “Theirs goes out onto the balcony, through a side door,” he added with a handsome, bashful smile.
“It’s a big place?” Dahlia looked into his sparkling eyes for confirmation.
“Yeah, Paws stays here for that reason, the older wolves built it. Did you bring any stuff?” He met her gaze.
“No, not really. Some stuff. It’s mostly at the flat.” She seemed un-phased, but perplexed by this. She wasn’t one to leave her belongings and pretty dresses behind. What would she do without all her make-up? Her hair straightener…
“Oh, well I’ll bring you some extra blankets. One of you can take Shell's bed, she won’t be back for a bit.” Blair tucked a hand in his pocket. “The other bed is Genna’s.”
Dahlia looked at Shell’s room. It consisted of two single beds. She wondered where Aylish would sleep. “I’ll take the floor,” she said, not wanting to put Aylish to more discomfort. She tried to smile.
He reconsidered. “A princess like you? Let me ask Paws if there’s a roll up mattress somewhere,” he offered and turned around. “Actually, you take my bed. I’ll sleep at home in my own bed.” She learnt later that he had a place in town as well as his own room at the compound.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah we can all get a good rest and sort it out tomorrow. Actually I’m not often here anyway. My presence as a disciple here is still under wraps.”
“So you hide then?” Her head tilted.
“Yeah, there’s a lot of sneaking about.” He blushed.
“Anyone would think you were a criminal.”
He smiled as though he wasn’t actually happy but understood the humour “Maybe,” he agreed sheepishly.
She could tell that her comment pinched at him.
She giggled. “Do you all have jobs?”
“No, Tyler’s a laze about, the rest of us have pack duties. Genna and I work in Shade.”
“Okay. Hey, can I ask where Shell is?”
“Uh she’ll be back soon, in couple of days. You’ll like her,” he nodded.
“Oh, hey Blair.” She said his name for the first time unsurely.
He stopped. “Yes.”
“If you see Aylish out there tell her I’m in here okay?” Dahlia looked openly concerned.
“ ‘Course,” he assured her, and strode away more casually than he had approached her. Determined to bring Lonnie back for her.
She looked at Blair’s bed. He hadn’t offered clean sheets, but she wasn’t sure she minded. She lay over the bed and tried to fathom this new place and the last few hours here. Was Aylish right? Or should she just go along with it? Would they really not be allowed to leave?
Blair didn’t seem trapped. He was freely leaving tonight to go to his home, Genna worked in town. She started to think of a thousand questions. Here, when it was a full moon night she could run freely wherever she wanted without having to make plans to run in the park or to drive out to the outer 'burbs and await her transformation, and the thought was exhilarating.
Dahlia would have been happy had Aylish not dampened it. She wanted to assimilate with the pack. She wasn’t like Aylish; she couldn’t go it alone. She liked the company, the possibilities. But in a way she felt very alone then, as her elation at finding her kind waiting for her was shrouded in doubt. Suddenly not having Aylish made her anxious.
If only she would comply, or just try it for a while? She told herself if her pack sister left she would stick it out without her, despite the home sickness. How she wouldn’t have to hide what she was, how she could share it – something she hadn’t known she would feel so strongly when she left all those years ago. She half smiled thinking of Blair, inhaling the air filled with his musky scent.
“You look pleased.”
“Aylish,” Dahlia looked toward the door and shifted to sit up. “I was just thinking of how it could be if we stayed here,” she urged.
“Yeah,” Aylish scoffed. Her face pinched.
“Please don’t be this way, Ay.” But she turned and left before Dahlia could explain why she lay on Blair’s bed and where they were to sleep, and before she could tell her how frightened she was to be here alone.
She heard the sound of a T.V go on somewhere in the house, but decided to get some shuteye, even though her thoughts circled. Despite the foreign sounds, the warm air and all the wolf smells and sweat, the musk of Blair was so comforting. She liked the perfume in the sheets and admired his straight minimalist belongings lying about the room and she escaped to sleep, clinging to the soft sheets a little too tightly as though she worried about being swept away.
Aylish had recalled his words, but as yet not much else, just flashes of blood. His words rang in her ears and she couldn’t take another moment in the house. ‘It’s regrettable there should be so much bloodshed but it is unavoidable.’ His awful, horrible, blood curdling words, said a lifetime ago, burnt her like it had been a second, a heartbeat since he had said them. Not an apology or a hint of remorse or regret for her sake. Aylish was carved up, she couldn’t stand to be back, it made her sick, angry, and it caused an anguish to rise inside her that threatened to bring her to her knees.
Aylish stormed away, intent on phasing to escape
the thought of finding Dahlia there, her closest ally, smiling like the cat that had got the cream on another pack member’s bed. Aylish hit the night air out through the ground floor and flung herself violently into the beast. She didn’t care about her jeans as they tore away. She knew only the sound of her paws thudding the undergrowth and her own panting breath, only slowing her pace when she was in the forest she had abandoned many years ago. She breathed in the cool night air under the trees and only then realized she had missed it, how much her body had craved the perfume of the earth, grass and rain. How she missed the stars. The atmosphere untainted with the hideous pollution she had choked on for years until she didn’t even notice it anymore. She was dead inside from the excruciating hurt of losing the babies. But she let herself be lost for a moment, in the freedom as she ran for their graves.
12. New Blood
She turned up unasked, full of energy and questions. I had tested her determination by not seeking her out. In the next few days, whenever she came to the house from the forest, Tisane spoke with her and told her where I was.
“You’re Lila Crain.” She approached me casually through the grass outside Tisane’s house in the afternoon light, as I fiddled with my bow, inspecting the brace height, as the smell of wood smoke drifted across from the chimney.
“You showed.” I breathed out and pursed my lips, glancing at her with an expression that suggested I was less than impressed. I turned back to the task, positioning my bow. There was a silence as I took sight. “How do you know that?” I asked focusing on my arrow. I turned to meet her dark brown eyes, and mine were hard.
Her features widened. “Internet.”
I smiled wryly. No doubt Tisane would have filled her in anyway. “You afraid?” I turned my eyes to aim the taught bow, finding my target in the trees.
“No. Should I be?” I could almost hear her heart beat with fear as she pouted at me. She shifted a little as though to cross her arms and instead rested her fists on the front of her legs.