“All right,” Granger says now, breaking the tense silence. “I knew I read you guys right. I know it when I see it. FUCK yeah, I know it when I see it!”
He seems genuinely pleased with himself, this big pile of dogshit, and I snarl under my breath as I glance at him briefly. But I am no longer focused on Granger or these other dirtbags. I am focused on Darcy, my sister, my friend, my love, my . . . sub?
And I can feel that deeply buried desire start to rise up in me again, the desire that I refused to believe I had, refused to think was possible. Is this really happening? Here? Like this?
I glance around the room again, this time taking in the grimy mugs of these bikers. Okay, I think. Okay.
“Listen,” I say to Granger now. “This can’t happen in front of you guys. It’s not happening out here in the open.”
I am swallowing hard as I say this because I know it is a futile request. From what I know about the Riders, a dom must claim his sub for the first time in front of the group. Nobody else touches the woman, but it still has to happen out there, for everyone to see, so everyone knows. But Granger seems to have stretched the rules already today, by giving me the option to join and save Darcy from God-knows-what. I still don’t quite get why Granger has taken such a shine to us—maybe he sees me as a younger version of him, as disgusting as that sounds. Maybe he’s just drunk and can’t get it up, so he wants to see a show. Who the fuck knows. All I know now is that this train is rapidly leaving the station, no small thanks to my sister’s latest proclamation that she will go with these guys willingly if I don’t step up.
Yes, this train is leaving the station, and my only option is to get on it and do my best to make sure it doesn’t fly off the tracks.
So I say it again: “Not in front of you all. No way.”
Granger takes a deep breath, his eyes focused on me for what seems like forever. Finally he speaks, slowly, with authority, still looking at me. “Mack,” he says to the other guy. “Get Judy and the girls in here.”
Mack hesitates for a moment, but then he walks to the door, muttering and shaking his head. Granger holds his gaze on me, a small smile breaking again on his lips.
“I must be getting soft in my old age, kid,” he says. “I’ve never messed with the rules for anyone like this.” Now his smile disappears as I hear the front door creak open. “But listen up, kid. Don’t mistake my softness for weakness. These women are experienced and they’ve seen it all, taken it all, handled it all. They’re going to watch, and they’re going to know if you’re just playing pretend. A little bit of spanking ain’t going to cut it with these women, kid. Like you said, the only way out is in. And the only way in is by showing your commitment. You gotta commit, kid. Commit to who you are. It’s inside you, I can tell. It’s inside her too, your little woman. So you get one chance at this, kid. You go soft on your girl in front of Judy and the others, and we’re done here. You’re done here. You understand me, kid?”
Behind Granger I can see the dark figures of four women dressed in leather, chains clinking, the smell of cigarettes and booze all around them. They are older than us, but as I glance at their faces I see a strange energy in their eyes, something that tells me they know who they are and have accepted their nature. There’s going to be no fooling these women, I know suddenly. No fooling anyone. This is serious, and it’s for all the marbles.
So I just nod at Granger and then turn back to Darcy. I can barely look at her. I mean, I know what I’m capable of. I know what Mindy taught me about myself, about what’s inside me. But how can I unleash that on little Darcy? My baby sister? How far can I push it? How much can she take? How much can I give before it breaks me? How much can she take before it breaks her?
How much, Darcy? How much, my baby?
How much?
19
DARCY
I watch as these silent women walk into the room, all of them poised but still reticent in a way. They do not make eye contact with the men in the room. Not because they are scared or anything, but more like it is part of their routine. I don’t know how to explain it, but I can immediately tell that they are submissives—willing subs, women who get off on it.
I heard what Cam said, and I know why they’re here. It still creeps me out, but ohmygod does it feel better to know that whatever’s going to happen will not happen in front of these big, older men.
“I’m Judy,” one of the women says to me as she gets close. She is tall and thin, with a lot of piercings in her face and too many tattoos to count. I can see ink on her neck, and I figure it goes all the way down her body.
Judy doesn’t bother to introduce the three other women, and they just silently take positions around me, like I am some kind of princess being readied to be given away in marriage.
And you know what, I think. Maybe I am a princess about to be given away. And in a strange way I am suddenly filled with warmth, excitement, even happiness! The only person who’s going to touch me today is Cam, my brother, the man I trust most in the world! As messed up as this situation is, the truth is there’s no place I’d rather be right now!
Granger is talking to Judy now, slowly and under his breath as the other men and women just stand there motionless. Finally the big man snaps his fingers, and just like that all four of the bikers walk out the front door, closing it behind them, plunging the bar into a dimly lit ambiance.
Now Cam is just standing there, that look of absolute pain and uncertainty on his face. I know what he’s thinking—or at least I think I do. He’s not sure how far he can push it. He’s not sure how much I can take.
But that’s the thrill, isn’t it, I think as I glance at these four silent women again. They look calm and peaceful, even though I can tell they are a bit drunk. Only Judy is looking directly at me. The rest are staring at the floor, as if waiting for something.
“First time doing this in front of people?” Judy says to me now.
I hesitate for a moment and then nod. First time, yeah. First time for everything. Oh, God, I haven’t even kissed Cam yet.
Now the earlier excitement rushes out of my body and my knees almost buckle under me as I realize that this man standing in front of me, slowly walking towards me is my stepbrother. My goddamn stepbrother!
But Cam is close now, and there is nothing I can do, so I just do my best to stand upright on my shaking legs. Take control, Cam, I think. Take control, because I’ve lost control.
Cam slowly begins to circle me now, like an animal or something. I can tell he is still uncertain, scared, perhaps disgusted with himself. But as he keeps walking around me, looking me up and down, I sense him releasing some of his tension, allowing that side of him to slowly rise and begin to take over.
And I feel something start to build in myself too as Cam comes close now, so close, so fucking close. He leans over now, whispers in my ear, “You’re safe, sis. You’re with me. You trust me, right, sis? You trust me?”
I nod, quickly and without hesitation. I am scared and uncertain, doubting everything. But I know I can trust Cam. I know I can trust my stepbrother. But I also know that he has to trust me. Yes, he has to trust me.
“I can take it,” I whisper to Cam as he glides around me once more, gently touching my hair as he circles behind me. “I can take it, Cam.”
I say the words and a shiver of excitement passes through me when I realize how close I came to saying, “I WANT to take it, Cam.” But I stay quiet, and now Cam stops in front of me.
“Pull that chair out for me,” he says in a clear, commanding voice that I know took some effort for him to generate right now. “Do it. Now!”
I am startled for a second, but then I realize what he’s doing. He’s starting us off slow. Issuing me commands. Ordering me around. Giving both of us time to get into the mindset, the mindset that perhaps both of us know we are capable of reaching.
I nod and wa
lk past him. I grab the wooden chair and pull it away from the table, setting it down in the middle of the floor. I stand beside the chair now, hands behind my back, head slightly bent. If I’m going to do this, I think, I may as well play the part all the way.
Cam nods and walks over and sits down. He looks up at me, his eyes focused in a way that tells me he is already starting to relax and assume his role.
“Down,” he says. “On your knees. By my side. Do it now.”
I obey, carefully going down to my knees on the hard wood of the floor. I tuck my feet under my ass and sit like a little dog, looking up at Cam, feeling a weird yearning to hear his next command.
But Cam does not say anything. He just crosses one leg over the other like a king. Then he reaches out his right hand and rests it on my head, carefully at first, but slowly putting the entire weight of his arm on me. It is heavy, but not too heavy for my neck, and I sit upright, breathing in the clean, familiar smell of my stepbrother’s body.
We sit like this for a few minutes, me kneeling at Cam’s feet, him using me like an armrest. The women are watching intently, with almost no expression on their faces.
“Rise,” Cam says finally, taking his hand off my head.
I do it, standing before him now, my head bowed as I get into the act.
“Bring me a glass of water,” Cam says. “Now. Do it.”
I blink for a moment, and then walk around the bar and fill up a glass of water from the pitcher near the cash register. It is cold and it looks clean. I bring it back to Cam, almost smiling as I think this is fun, like kids playing make-believe or something.
“Down,” Cam says again. “On your knees. Do it now.”
I obey immediately, trying to suppress a giggle when I realize how weird this is. Still, the overall seriousness of what’s going on here is too much, and so I manage not to laugh.
I watch Cam as he takes a sip. Then I glance over at Judy and the other women, wondering if they—
—and suddenly I feel a BLAST of cold liquid in my face, and as I gasp and turn towards Cam, I suddenly feel him GRAB my ponytail and lift me to my feet as I SCREAM in pain and surprise.
“What the fuck, Cam?!” I cry out without thinking.
“Shut the FUCK up!” Cam shouts into my face now, still pulling my ponytail hard with one hand, the other hand under my chin, holding my face straight.
There is water in my nose and eyes, and I am blinking and snorting, my hair hurting like fuck, Cam’s hand on my throat uncomfortable and tight.
“Never look away from me,” Cam says to me now as he holds me. “Eyes on me always. ALWAYS!”
I blink away the last bits of water from my eyes as I look up at my stepbrother. I am alarmed and shocked at his sudden transformation. Wait, I thought we were starting off slow. Just pretending. This got real very fast. Too fast?
No, I tell myself as I struggle to calm myself down. It’s not too fast. Relax and trust him. Relax and trust him. Relax and trust him.
So I nod as I stare into my brother’s eyes. “Yes,” I say. “I understand. I’m sorry.”
Cam stares at me for another moment, and then he nods too. “We’ll see,” he says. “Now get me another glass of water. NOW!”
He releases me and I stumble back on my feet for a moment, grabbing a table to hold myself up. But I do not fall, and I run over to the bar and grab another glass of water, bringing it back to Cam as fast as I can without spilling it all over.
Cam takes the glass from me and drinks, finishing all of it and then tossing the hard plastic cup to the floor as I watch. I am breathing hard, my heart pumping, but I stay focused on Cam, keep my eyes on him like he said. Eyes on me always? You got it, stepbrother.
Now from my left I suddenly hear Judy’s voice calling out, “Hey, girl, listen up.”
I instinctively turn now, but as soon as I see Judy’s face twisted into a sick smile, I know I’m being messed with. So I quickly turn back to Cam, about to apologize for looking away from him, but it’s too late . . .
Yes, it’s too late, and as I turn my head back to him, I feel his open palm come across my face as he slaps me, just fucking SLAPS me!
20
CAMERON
I feel the force of my slap reverberate through my entire body as the sound rings out in the room like a fucking gunshot. Darcy goes reeling back as I stare in shock, wondering if I really did just slap my sister across the face right now. My palm is tingling, and I can see Darcy’s cheek turning bright red as she stares at me, her eyes welling up with tears, pain and shock all over her face.
Too much too soon, Cam, I tell myself as I fear that all is lost and Darcy isn’t going to make it. She’s just a kid, and she can’t handle it. She’s going to start crying, or worse, start screaming and cursing, maybe throwing shit at me. That would be fine if we were alone, but right here, in this situation, where the entire fucking game is to prove my dominance, any fight from her would be suicide. Hold on, sis, I try to tell her. Oh, please hold on, sis.
I can hardly breathe as I watch my little Darcy’s expression. She is close to sobbing now, partly from pain, partly from the shock of what I’ve just done, perhaps even from the fear of what I’m truly capable of doing.
Look at me, sis, I think as I stare into her sweet brown eyes that are filling with tears. Look at me.
But the tears are filling up, and I sense a deep shudder building in her. I know my sister, and I’ve seen this pattern before when we were younger and we fought a couple of times. She will cry, but then it will turn to anger. And that can’t happen right now. No, it can’t happen, and so I need to push forward, take control, fucking let myself go.
So I let my expression go blank, and I feel my eyes go cold, just like they used to with Mindy when I first understood how to reach that part of myself and bring it to the surface. And now I am getting there, I am getting there, I am getting—
“Fucking LOOK AT ME!” I roar now, my neck straining as I scream across the room, real anger burning through my veins. I stride across the room now, feeling the energy surge through me as I grab my sister’s hair once more, bring her face close, stare right at her with my cold eyes.
“You got something to say?” I ask her. “You got something to say to me?”
Darcy holds my gaze now, and although her eyes are still wet, I can tell that no new tears are forming. And this gives me an inexplicable feeling of excitement, because for a moment I see something in my sister’s eyes, a part of her that makes me think that yes, she can take it. Yes, she can take it. But not just that. No. Not just that she can take it. It’s more than that.
She wants to take it. She fucking WANTS to take it.
So I push her away from me now and watch as she stumbles back against the tall wooden bar, knocking over a barstool as she flails to keep balance. She doesn’t fall, and I wait for a moment for her to stand up straight.
“You got something to say?” I ask again, staring her down.
Now she meets my gaze for a poignant moment that tells me everything I need to know, and then she shakes her head slowly and looks at the floor in a sign of submission. She’s telling me she’s ready, I know. It’s new for her and she’s scared, but she’s feeling it now, I know. The feeling of excitement you get when you truly give yourself up to someone you can trust. Good. Good, sis. Because there’s no turning back for me now. It’s going to get real, and if you’re going to ride with me, you better be ready for some tough turns along the way.
“I thought so,” I say now, spitting onto the floor. “Nothing to say. You’re scared of me, aren’t you? Scared like a little girl?”
Darcy doesn’t respond. She stays facing me, her head slightly bowed, her gaze focused on my chin and neck.
“Fucking scared little girl,” I mutter now. “You going to pee your pants? I hope not. You ain’t getting back on my bike in piss-soak
ed jeans.”
Now I take a deep breath and walk back and forth, glancing up and down at Darcy. I take in the sight of her round hips, how her jeans form that V at her crotch in a way that’s getting me hard right now, has gotten me hard all fucking day.
“You know what, little girl,” I say now. “Take off your jeans. I don’t want you peeing in them. And a little girl like you doesn’t deserve to wear big-girl jeans. So take them off. Take them off NOW!”
Immediately Darcy begins to unbuckle, and she does it so fast that I can feel the blood rush into my cock, giving me a hard-on that almost makes me dizzy. She is unzipped now, and I gasp as I watch her push those tight black jeans down over her beautiful young hips, all round and smooth.
The waistband of her panties gets pushed down a bit, and I almost groan as I catch a glimpse of the soft brown curls of her pubic hair. Oh, fuck, sis. I don’t think I can turn back now. There’s no stopping this train, sis.
I watch in silence as Darcy pushes her jeans down to her knees and then clumsily bends down to unzip her boots so she can get her jeans off. I am standing in front of her, and I gasp again as I catch sight of my sister’s heavy cleavage as she bends over. Suddenly I have a burning urge to just grab her head and push my cock into her mouth, and I grin as I realize that all of it is going to come. All of it and more.
“Should have thought of those boots before unzipping and pushing your pants halfway down now, yes?” I say to her as I watch her struggle. Her legs are held together because of the pulled-down jeans, and she looks almost comical, all helpless like that.
I watch for another minute as Darcy stumbles about, but now I cannot hold back.
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