by Jeff Erno
“Mama gets a little emotional sometimes,” Jimmy said.
“I think I’m gonna like your mama.”
“See that building there with the ‘Quick Lube’ sign? That there’s where I work.”
“Wow, at least your town has one,” Corey quipped. “The town I’m from has one quick lube and one McDonald’s, and about forty churches.”
“We have a lot of churches too, but we also got a Burger King.”
Jimmy pumped the gas, and the boys got back in the car. “There’s a grocery store here, down on the next street, and we have a hardware, couple diners, and a bar. Frankfort’s a little over a half-hour’s drive from here if we need anything else.”
“Daddy works in Cranetown,” Charlie said. “An hour’s drive from here.”
“Really? He drives that far every day?”
“He works in the Toyota factory there,” Jimmy explained. He’s a foreman. It’s a good job, but when he got the job, he didn’t want to move the whole family. Daddy grew up here. Says it’s worth the drive to live in his hometown and raise his family here.”
“What about you?” Corey asked. “How do you like it here?”
Jimmy glanced over to him, then looked back to the road. His expression pensive, he lowered his voice. “I really do love it here. I love my family, my hometown….”
“But…?”
“But sometimes I want more. Ya know what I mean? I want to see more of the world, go places, do things that I can’t do in this little town.”
“Like being on America’s Next Superstar?”
“Yeah, like that.” He winked at Corey, then slid his hand across the seat and rested it on Corey’s leg. “Know what I really want?”
“What?”
“I’d love to do some traveling. Make a living with my music, but have a home of my own to always come back to. If by the grace of God I’m successful, I’d like to make things right with my folks. Pay them back for all they done for me over the years, and then get myself my own place.”
“You have a big heart, Jimmy,” Corey said, placing his hand atop Jimmy’s and squeezing it.
Jimmy responded by massaging Corey’s thigh with his thumb and fingers. “This right here’s our humble home,” he said, pulling into a long, gravel driveway. Jimmy started laughing. “And that there’s Mama, waitin’ for us on the front porch.”
Corey peered out the window at the modest, ranch-style home. It was nice—very homey—but far from palatial. It was just an average home, typical for the all-American family, and Corey could easily visualize Jimmy growing up here.
Jimmy laid on the horn as they approached the house, and his mother stepped off the porch and approached the car. The three boys piled out, and Mrs. Sawyer stepped over to Corey. “You must be Corey,” she said. “I’m so excited to finally meet you.” She wrapped him in a warm embrace, kissing the side of his face.
“I told ya Mama would kiss all over yer face,” Charlie said.
“You hush,” she said. “I can kiss who I wanna kiss. My oh my, you’re the skinniest little thing. Worse than Jimmy!”
“I’m sure you’ll fatten him up while he’s here,” Jimmy joked. “You got a whole seven days to make sure he gets his fill.”
“Well, I got dinner waitin’,” she said.
Corey couldn’t believe how warmly he’d been accepted into Jimmy’s family. He’d feared it would be awkward, that he and Jimmy might have to hide their relationship, but so far it had been exactly the opposite. If only his own family was as accepting of him as was Jimmy’s. Corey was beginning to worry how Jimmy would feel when he came to Michigan. He knew his mother and sister would not give Jimmy anywhere near the warm welcome that Corey had received in Kentucky.
“This is lunch?” Corey exclaimed when he looked at the table. It seemed more like Thanksgiving dinner. There was a huge platter of fried chicken, a heaping plate of cornbread, homemade stuffing, creamed green beans, corn on the cob, and an enormous strawberry-rhubarb pie.
“Mama cooks enough to feed an army,” Jimmy explained.
“Now, I don’t usually make such a big meal for lunch, but this here was a special occasion.”
Mrs. Sawyer grilled Corey with questions throughout the meal, asking him how he’d liked his experience in New York. She asked him about his family and his hometown, what he wanted to do with his life besides singing. She was about the sweetest and most genuine person Corey had ever met other than Jimmy. He could see where Jimmy got his manners.
“Mrs. Sawyer, I think this was the best meal I’ve ever had,” Corey said truthfully.
“Now you stop,” she said. “That there is such a sweet thing to say.”
“We’re lucky,” Jimmy interjected. “Mama’s a great cook.”
“I’ll help clean up,” Corey volunteered, pushing his chair back.
“No, no, you boys head on downstairs. I’ll take care of this mess.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m absolutely positive,” she said. “You’re our guest.”
“I think I’m gonna go lie down,” Charlie said. “I’m a little tired.”
“Are you okay?” Jimmy said, suddenly looking worried.
“I’m fine,” he assured everyone. “It was an early morning… lot of excitement. I’m just gonna take a little nap.”
Corey looked into Jimmy’s face, which registered his genuine concern. Mrs. Sawyer got up from the table and retrieved something from the kitchen. “You didn’t take your noon meds,” she said, handing some pills to Charlie. “Do you need a pain pill?”
“No!” Charlie responded, shaking his head. “I’ll be too drowsy. I’m just gonna lie down a few minutes.”
She stood there as Charlie swallowed his medication, and then she led him down the hallway to his room.
“Will he be okay?” Corey asked Jimmy.
“He gets tired easy, after the surgery. Going with me to Lexington was quite an adventure for him.”
“Wow,” Corey said. “It makes me feel bad. I should have just rented a car….”
“Nah,” Jimmy said. “It ain’t your fault Charlie wanted to come with me. It’s probably good for him, actually. The more he gets out and does things, the stronger he’ll get. Come on, I’ll show you my room downstairs.”
Corey followed Jimmy down the hall and then into a stairwell that led to the lower level. At the base of the stairs, they stepped into a large open room which appeared to be like a family or entertainment room. Corey’s eyes immediately went to the piano.
“Wow, you have a piano,” Corey said.
“Do you play?”
Corey nodded. “I’ve been playing since I was in the first grade, but I always had to practice at school. We don’t have our own piano at home.”
Beside the piano was an array of other musical instruments, including Jimmy’s guitar. “This here is where I write most of my songs.”
“Really? You write your own music?”
“I wrote you a song too,” Jimmy said, stepping closer to Corey.
“I love you so much,” Corey whispered, only a split second before he felt the heat of Jimmy’s lips crushing his own. Corey closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Jimmy’s broad shoulders, savoring the taste and smell of the man who was now the center of his universe.
“Come on,” Jimmy said, “I’ll show you my room.” He took Corey by the hand and led him to his bedroom. And that’s when they really got serious about kissing.
LATER that evening, after Jimmy’s father got home from work, the family had a big supper. Corey was anything but hungry, after having indulged at lunch. Jimmy explained to him that lunches were typically not so bountiful, but it was his mom’s way of welcoming Corey to their home.
Jimmy’s dad had a far more reserved personality than the rest of the family. He was not unfriendly, but he wasn’t talkative the way Charlie and Mrs. Sawyer were. Some extended family—cousins, aunts, and uncles—and a few neighbors came over later in the evening, and they a
ll gathered downstairs.
The lower level had a sliding glass door that led out to a large patio, just off the family room. This allowed guests to mingle indoors and out. Corey was pleased to discover that Mr. Sawyer also had some musical talent. He played guitar, and soon the three of them were entertaining the crowd. Corey played piano while Jimmy and his dad were on guitars. Jimmy and Corey took turns singing, and sometimes sang together. With some songs, everyone joined in. Mr. Sawyer claimed he didn’t have a singing voice, but from what Corey could hear, he did all right.
The celebration continued well into the late hours of the evening, in spite of the fact that it was a weeknight. Charlie appeared to be feeling much better, and after his nap and a hearty supper, he seemed to have regained energy.
Finally, when everyone had cleared out for the evening, Jimmy’s parents informed the boys they were going to call it a night. Charlie insisted he wasn’t tired yet and turned on the big-screen TV in the family room. Corey and Jimmy sat down with him as he surfed the channels. Once he settled on a movie, he quickly dozed off, slumping onto the leather cushion. Jimmy waited about ten minutes, and then very quietly walked over and scooped the boy up into his arms and carried him upstairs to his bedroom.
When Jimmy returned, Corey was still sitting on the sofa, waiting for him. “Where am I sleeping?” Corey asked.
“Officially or actually?” Jimmy asked.
“Actually….”
“With me, of course. Officially you’re in the guest bedroom across the hall.”
“Ah, and we’re not gonna get caught?”
“You’ve met my folks,” Jimmy said. “Do you really think they’d care? I’m sure they know we’re sleeping together.”
“If you want, I could go to bed in my own room and wait for you to sneak over in the middle of the night to take advantage of me.”
Jimmy sat down on the couch beside him. “I can’t wait that long,” he said. “I wanna take advantage of you now, not in the middle of the night.” He leaned in and planted a kiss on Corey’s expectant lips. “And in the middle of the night too.”
“Mmm,” Corey moaned. “That was sweet, the way you carried your brother to his room.”
“Like this?” Jimmy slid an arm around Corey’s shoulder while scooping his other arm beneath his knees and then quickly hoisted him from the sofa.
“I feel like a bride.”
“And you’re about to be deflowered.”
“Deflower me… please,” Corey whispered.
THURSDAY of that week was Thanksgiving, and it came as no surprise to Corey that it was another enormous meal. This time, instead of it being the solitary effort of Jimmy’s mom, the dinner included dishes from numerous family members. The entire extended family was there—aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, spouses, kids—a total of thirty-four guests. Not one of them said a negative word to Corey. They all accepted him as Jimmy’s friend, though he did get a little bit of ribbing for being Jimmy’s competitor on Superstar.
As hectic as it was Thanksgiving morning, by late afternoon everyone was lethargic. Overstuffed and drowsy, several guests gathered around the big screen downstairs to watch the football games. About half the extended family said their goodbyes and took off for the day.
“Come on,” Jimmy said, “let’s go for a walk.”
“Good idea,” Corey agreed. “If I sit here much longer, I’m gonna be asleep.”
They walked for a couple hundred feet, and when finally the house behind them was out of sight, Jimmy took Corey’s hand. “Three more days,” he said. “That’s all I have left with you.”
“And then it’ll just be a month… and you’ll come see me.”
“I can’t wait.” He squeezed Corey’s hand. “I wanna show you something. See that house up ahead?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s my granddaddy’s.”
“The one I met today?”
“Yeah. He’s ninety-four. He’s leaving me that house when he dies.”
“Wow. That’s nice, but why you?”
“We’ve always been close, and I’m the first grandson. Granddad could live to be a hundred twenty, though. He’s been healthy as a horse his whole life.”
“Maybe you’ll be rich and famous and won’t even need the house by that time.”
“I’ll never be too rich or too famous to live in Granddad’s house. That there is where I wanna raise my family.”
“Your family?” Corey asked. “You want kids?”
“Don’t you?”
“Uh… I never really thought about it. I guess I just don’t picture myself as ever being able to get married.”
“We could go back to New York to get married,” Jimmy said.
Corey stopped in his tracks. “We?”
“I’m sorry.” Jimmy suddenly appeared regretful, as if he feared he’d said the wrong thing.
“Jimmy, don’t be sorry.” Corey’s voice was barely audible. He was choking up. “Yes, we could go to New York to get married… or Vermont or Connecticut. There are a bunch of states now. But Jimmy, does this mean you’re proposing?”
Jimmy pulled Corey into him, kissing him tenderly on the lips. “Consider it a preproposal, I guess. No, this is not the way I wanna propose. I ain’t even met your mama or your family yet.”
Corey felt the sting of the hot tears streaming down his cheeks. “So if this is a preproposal, do you need a preanswer?”
“Not if you’re not ready….”
“I’m not ready to go home. I’m not ready to leave you again. I love it here, and I love your family….”
“But this isn’t exactly real life,” Jimmy said. “It’s usually a lot more boring. I’m usually working nine or ten hours a day. We usually don’t have all this company and all these huge dinners.”
“I don’t think life with you would ever be boring to me.”
“I’ll take you horseback riding tomorrow,” Jimmy promised. “And we’re doin’ a show tomorrow night at the civic center. It’s to raise money for Julia Brentworth. She’s only sixteen and has cancer.”
“Oh, wow.”
“You can sing with me.”
“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot, and I think I’d be fine with your real life.”
“Corey, even if I succeed, I’m always gonna just be a country boy. You’re probably going places I never even dreamed of. You’re gonna be a superstar for real. I’m so afraid that my boring, country lifestyle is not gonna fit….”
“Jimmy, I should be the one who’s worried. What you have here is heaven. When you see my hometown and meet my family, you’ll understand. I came out to my mom a long time ago. I always thought she was fine, that she had no problem with it, but she does. All this time she was just pretending to support me, but she really thought I’d outgrow being gay.”
“Lots of folks are like that. Especially round here,” Jimmy said. “I’m just lucky. Mama and Daddy almost lost one son. They aren’t about to lose the other to prejudice. I think there are people everywhere who are like that. We hear it a lot, people sayin’ it’s a sin. Some say it’s just a choice. Give your mama time. She’ll come around; I know she will.”
“I guess we should focus on getting through the competition before we make any plans,” Corey said, “but I know I don’t wanna live my life without you. Somehow, some way, we’ve got to be together. And no matter who wins or loses, you’ll always be my Superstar.”
Chapter Twelve
“WHAT do you mean, he can’t stay here? Mom, he’s already got his plane ticket. He’ll be here in four days!”
“Corey, you’re asking me to do something I just can’t do. I’m not comfortable having him in my house. You’re old enough to do what you want, and I’ll always love you. But that doesn’t mean I have to condone your lifestyle.”
Corey’s jaw came unhinged as he listened to the unbelievable statements his own mother was making. “Mom, you already know the lifestyle that I live. It’s the same lifestyle that y
ou and Lanie have. I’m not some sort of circus freak just because I’m gay.”
“I wish you’d never gotten involved in this contest… this Superstar thing. It’s changed you, Corey. You came back from New York, and now all of a sudden you want to shove this homosexuality down everyone’s throat. This is northern Michigan—not New York City.”
It seemed every time he and his mother were in the kitchen together there was an argument. He looked up at the wall clock, noticing that it was past midnight, and wondered if it’d be too late to call Jimmy. What was he going to tell him? Jimmy couldn’t cancel his trip, not this late.
“Mom, when I went down there for Thanksgiving, Jimmy’s whole family welcomed me. They accepted me just like I was one of their own, but you won’t even let Jimmy sleep in your house.”
“You have no idea what it’s like. I go to work every day. To the supermarket. The bank. People stop me and ask me about my son, the one on America’s Next Superstar. They say, ‘You must be so proud,’ and I don’t know how to answer them.”
“Maybe you could say, ‘Thank you’, or even, ‘Yes, I’m very proud.’ The problem is, you’re not. You’re not proud of me at all. You’re ashamed. You’re embarrassed that your son is a fag, and now the whole world is gonna see.”
“I love you, Corey,” she said, choking back tears. “I will always love you, no matter what. But you’ve chosen a life I cannot condone.”
“Look, Jimmy’s coming here, and I’m spending New Year’s with him. If you want me to be a part of this family, you’ve got to accept me for who I am and respect the person that I love. If not, I’ll stay with Jimmy in his hotel room, and I’ll move out of your house when he goes back home.”
“Corey, don’t be ridiculous. You know you can’t afford to live on your own….”
“The college has a dormitory. I can get in there during semester break and stay till I save up enough for an apartment. Or maybe I’ll just move to Kentucky!” Tears were now streaming down his mother’s cheeks. Corey was on the verge of tears himself, because he was so angry. “You say you love me, Mom, but you have a piss-poor way of showing it.”