by Suzi Davis
“I won’t see you over Christmas?” I asked quietly though I already knew the answer.
“No. You shall spend Christmas with the Jensons. You chose to involve yourself with him, despite my wishes. Now you must live with the consequences of those decisions.” Though his words were harsh, there was a surprising soft edge to his voice. “I will try to check in on you in the New Year, Grace. Please express my gratitude to the Jensons. Goodbye.”
“Bye,” I whispered, but the line was already dead. I let the phone slide limply from my hand and fall into my lap. Sebastian’s eyes were on my face, his expression full of concern.
“I heard most of that,” he confessed. I wasn’t surprised; my father always spoke too loudly into the phone. “Are you alright?” I nodded, glancing about the room. It was then that I noticed the Jensons had silently left, discreetly giving us some privacy.
“How much of that was your doing?” I massaged my temples with my fingers as I tried to refocus my thoughts.
“I can’t be sure exactly,” he admitted. He fiddled with one of his rings as he spoke. “I knew you missed your possessions, especially your car – you’ve complained about it enough,” he teased. I didn’t smile. “And I knew you wanted your father in your life still, which couldn’t have happened if you stayed here. But I want you in my life still, which wouldn’t have happened if you’d gone home. All I wanted was for us both to be happy… I made things worse again, didn’t I?” he asked miserably. He let his hands fall to his sides and rested his chin on my knees, looking up at my face in such an innocent, childish gesture, it seemed impossible that he was really 450 years old. I paused a moment before answering, taking a moment to admire him.
“No, actually you didn’t,” I told him. He looked back at me doubtfully. “I think my parents will both be happier once they’re divorced. And I’m actually sort of excited not to have to move back home but to get to be with you still – it’s a good compromise.”
“But all I had to give up was my selfish desire to have you by my side all the time. You had to give up your relationship with your parents,” Sebastian reminded me, glumly.
“I don’t know about that. I never had much of a relationship with my mother anyway. And I think my father may come around, especially if you want him to.” I tried to sound optimistic. Sebastian smiled weakly. I wasn’t sure when I had become the one comforting and reassuring him but as soon as I spoke the words, I realized it was true. It really wasn’t that bad; I still had the rest of Winter Break to spend with Sebastian and the Jensons, and moving into the school dormitories might even be fun. It couldn’t be any worse than living at home had been. And at least I would still have Sebastian. I’d bet he could find a way to sneak into my dormitory rooms without getting caught too, if he wanted to. And from the look in his eye, I knew that wouldn’t be a problem.
Christmas was a quiet and low-key event at the Jensons’ house. I didn’t have much money to spend on gifts so I made a small oil painting for the Jensons of a beautiful lavender-filled clearing I’d been dreaming of recently. The Jensons seemed to understand that I didn’t want expensive gifts from them either and Mrs. Jenson gave me a beautiful scarf that she had hand-woven herself and Mr. Jenson put bows on the bedside table and writing desk in the guest room, telling me that my gift was to keep the furniture I’d been using so that I could decorate my new dormitory room. The belongings my father had sent over did not include any of the furniture I’d had in my bedroom at home.
Sebastian and I had agreed not to get each other any gifts, so I was surprised when we woke on Christmas morning and he slipped a simple yet beautiful necklace out from under his pillow. He silently held it up for me to admire in the low morning light. The pendant was a piece of dark, golden amber cut in the shape of a teardrop, smooth and nearly perfect except for a small piece at the top that had chipped off. It hung from a tightly braided, black, leather cord with no fastener – it would have to be tied on.
“It’s beautiful,” I murmured softly as I watched the light sparkle and reflect off the small bubbles trapped within the amber’s surface. It captured the light in a magical, spell-binding way.
“It’s yours,” Sebastian pronounced, holding the necklace out towards me. I had to fight the sudden, nearly over-powering urge to possessively grab the necklace from his hand. I felt a strange connection to it – it called to me, beckoned with a strange power that was reminiscent of Sebastian’s own pull. I stubbornly shook my head as I sat up, tightly twining my fingers together as they itched towards the amber.
“We agreed – no presents.”
“I didn’t buy it,” Sebastian protested. “I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. I’ve never been able to get rid of it or give it away; just to think of it used to overwhelm me with guilt… I don’t know why. But I’ve been thinking about it a lot since I met you… and I think it should be yours. This feels right. It is yours.” He offered it to me again, the pendant swinging enticingly, back and forth, back and forth. “I want you to have it, Gracelynn.”
“Don’t you ever get tired of always getting what you want?” I half-grumbled. I reached for the necklace eagerly though, unable to resist it any longer. Sebastian carefully lowered the pendant into my hand. The amber immediately felt warm to my touch, almost as if it were alive with its own magic. The strangest thing was that I wasn’t even surprised; I had almost expected it would feel that way. Sebastian gently pressed the necklace into my palm and for the split-second that both our hands were touching the amber pendant, it suddenly flared red hot, the fire and energy inside of it exploding outwards in a searing rush of heat.
“What the–” Sebastian exclaimed, quickly pulling his hand away from mine. The instant he removed his touch, the pendant returned to a comfortable warmth. I was too stunned to even react; I just sat there, staring at the beautiful, obviously magical, talisman.
“What just happened?” I asked as I carefully placed the necklace on the sheets between us. Even then it was a struggle to let it go.
“I don’t know – it’s never done that before. It’s always felt stone-cold – even when I tried to warm it in my hands.” Sebastian’s dark eyes were wider than usual, a slightly perplexed expression on his face. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, it just scared me a little.” I automatically reached for the necklace again as we spoke of it. Before I was really aware of what I was doing, I started tying the cord around my neck.
“Gracelynn, maybe you shouldn’t wear it...”
“I want to,” I answered truthfully. I wondered why I didn’t feel more afraid. “Why did it do that though? Why does it feel so warm even now?”
“It does?” Sebastian’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I don’t know why. It could be dangerous…”
“No,” I immediately and firmly objected. “You don’t want any harm to come to me, and it won’t.” My voice rang with a quiet power that surprised even me. Sebastian studied me curiously, his ancient eyes looking deeply into mine.
“It is yours,” he pronounced, and then he lightened the solemn mood with his heart-stopping, dimpled grin. “And it looks absolutely enchanting on you.” I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Thank you.”
I wore the amber necklace everyday after that, never taking it off for even a moment. I wore it with pride, always aware of its gentle weight resting against my chest. The feel of the pendant against my skin was comforting and strangely familiar. I often found my hand creeping up to squeeze the pendant tightly in my palm, drawing strength from its warm, smooth shape. And though it always felt warm to my touch, it never felt red-hot again, though Sebastian was always wary not to touch it after our strange experience.
It ended up being a perfect Christmas Day – quiet, simple and quaint. There was none of the usual fanfare of Christmas that I was used to. There were no extravagant gifts, no fancy parties, no rounds of visitors. It was perfect. And even though it was my first holiday without my parents and outside of my own hom
e, it was still, without a doubt, the happiest I’d ever had.
The rest of Winter Break flew by in a blur. Sebastian and I spent every minute of each day together. Sebastian always had something up his sleeve; he was full of ideas and enthusiasm for life. He made me go for a walk in the rain without a coat on, he dragged me out onto the lawn at midnight to dance barefoot under the stars, he took me to sit in silence beside the ocean for an hour, just to listen to the sound of the changing tide. His stories made me laugh, his theories made me think, his heart and soul made me dream. And if all that weren’t enough, there was still the fact that just being in his presence meant witnessing miracles and impossibilities every day. I saw lightning strike on a clear and cloudless day, I saw two city blocks simultaneously and unexpectedly black out, I saw shooting stars, and rainbows, and a sunset of a hundred different colors in one night. Sebastian’s world was truly a wonderful and magical place.
Before I knew it, there was only one day left before school started and Mr. Jenson and Sebastian were helping me move into my new room in Craigflower’s girls’ dormitory building. The dormitory itself wasn’t that bad. I had my own bedroom that wasn’t much smaller than the guest room at the Jensons’ house, and I also had my own small bathroom. There was no bathtub but the stand-up shower was fairly sized. With the bedroom furniture the Jensons had given me arranged about the room and a few of my own possessions unpacked, it was starting to feel welcoming and familiar.
Once Mr. Jenson helped unload the last box he quickly left, allowing Sebastian and I some time alone together while I continued unpacking my things. Sebastian made my bed for me then stretched out across it, watching me silently as I bustled about. He’d been unusually quiet today. I could guess he was having a hard time remembering why he’d wanted me to move out.
All too soon my dormitory ‘mother’, Lisa, an alumni of Craigflower who was attending the local university, was knocking on the door. She was worked up into quite a fuss once she saw Sebastian on my bed, reminding me that I wasn’t permitted to have visitors after seven on school nights and that I was never allowed to have boys in my room. I didn’t find her intimidating since she appeared to be almost the same age as me, her large brown eyes and round, chubby face making her appear innocent and unassuming. She gave us a stern talking-to, much to Sebastian’s amusement, but in the end neither of us were punished, just warned not to let it happen again. And so suddenly, it was time for Sebastian to leave. Lisa hovered in the doorway as we said goodbye, her eyes bulging in shock at Sebastian’s audacity as he leant forward to sweetly kiss me on the lips. He chuckled when he heard Lisa’s indignant huff but graciously permitted her to usher him out with one last fleeting glance over his shoulder for me.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he promised, flashing me his most-charming grin. My heart pounded happily in response. Sebastian was quite literally, breathtakingly handsome.
It was strange to spend that first night in the dormitory alone. I’d grown so used to falling asleep in Sebastian’s arms that I tossed and turned for the better part of the night, struggling in the futility of finding sleep. I awoke in the morning tired and grumpy, struggling to remember why I had agreed to move into the school dorms. It didn’t help my mood at all when the girls in my building all stared at me, whispering just a little too loudly that my parents had thrown me out for dating Sebastian Caldwood. Apparently my father’s story of trying to protect me from the divorce hadn’t been as easily accepted as he’d hoped. It seemed everybody whispered and stared as I walked across campus to meet Sebastian. Not all of the looks I received were the scandalized stares of judging eyes though; I was surprised by the obvious curiosity of some of my peers, their gazes speculative, some almost admiring or approving as I walked past. It didn’t bother me a minute past the moment I saw Sebastian. As soon as he was within my sight I only had eyes for him, he was all and everything that mattered to me.
He was pacing anxiously back and forth in front of the school statue. As soon as he saw me approaching, he broke into a light run, jogging up to my side.
“Gracelynn.” His words came out in a relieved sigh, the anxiety melting from his features as his fingers met mine. Our hands twined together as our lips met, the kiss we shared too brief and reserved for my liking; we were in public though and we were most certainly being watched. “How did you sleep?” I smiled, feeling relaxed and refreshed by his presence.
“Not that well,” I admitted. “You?”
“I didn’t sleep – I couldn’t. You’ll have to leave your door unlocked tonight and I’ll sneak in once your new ‘mother’ is sleeping.” He gave me a mischievous grin.
“Sebastian, you can’t spend the night,” I argued reluctantly.
“I won’t. I’ll only stay until you fall asleep.” It was hard to argue when he smiled at me in the way that set my heart racing. “I’ll be gone before morning, we won’t get caught,” he assured me. I didn’t answer but he grinned triumphantly, knowing he’d won.
The physical separation of the night before had been difficult for both of us. All day long we found all and any excuse to touch one another, leaning in closely when we spoke, touching each other unnecessarily to emphasize our words. I shouldn’t have been surprised to discover that through a course of unlikely events, Sebastian’s schedule ended up being altered to match mine perfectly. All day long, things happened that pulled us even closer together. And our teachers never noticed when we held hands under the table during class, or when we whispered with our heads together, quietly laughing and teasing one another throughout their lectures.
I was so wrapped up in my own perfect little world with Sebastian that it was a surprise when Clarke approached me at the end of the day. It felt like returning to reality in the daze of a dream, having spoken to no one but Sebastian all day long.
“Hey, Grace. I need to talk to you,” he announced as he strode up to me, thoroughly ignoring Sebastian. Sebastian and I had been walking under one of the tall old trees to the side of the Library building, slowly making our way across campus back towards the girls’ dormitory. I sighed as Sebastian lifted his arm from around my shoulders, instantly feeling the loss.
“Sure, what’s up?” I reluctantly agreed. I noticed Clarke seemed agitated, his forehead creased into a frown. Though he was obviously making a point of ignoring Sebastian, he was forced to acknowledge him as his eyes briefly flickered his way.
“I need to speak with you alone,” he restated with obvious irritation at having to ask.
I was about to object but Sebastian spoke before I could.
“Go ahead. I’ll meet you back in your room,” he told me, smiling patiently as he turned and walked away. There had been something in his expression that he had tried to hide before he turned away, a strain to his eyes that was unexpected. I didn’t have time to think about it as Clarke roughly grabbed my hand.
“He’ll meet you in your room?” he demanded angrily. “What kind of trouble have you got yourself into Grace?” I shook my hand lose from his grip, folding my arms tightly across my chest. Clarke glared at me, visibly fuming.
“Don’t worry about it – we won’t get caught.”
“You know that’s not what I’m worried about. You should get caught,” he challenged, his eyes flashing. “Wasn’t it enough to give up your friends, your family, your home for him? Now you’ll give him that too?”
“Clarke! How dare you!” I exclaimed, throwing my arms up in exasperation. “I’ve given Sebastian no more than he’s given to me – my friendship, my love, my heart. He’s asked for nothing more than my morals would allow; not that it’s any of your business, anyway,” I added, indignantly. Clarke visibly relaxed upon hearing this, though moments later his scowl returned.
“If he really cared about you, he wouldn’t take so much from you, he wouldn’t make you change for him,” Clarke argued stubbornly. I rolled my eyes, breathing in slowly through my nose to calm myself. There was no point in arguing; Clark just wouldn’t under
stand, nor would he want to.
“You wanted to talk to me about something?” I reminded him impatiently.
“Yes, I do,” he agreed, his scowl lifting slightly. He took a step closer to me, his eyes burning with a sudden intensity. I automatically took a step back. “I’ve been watching you with him all day, Grace,” he began, his eyes too-bright still. “It was like I couldn’t get away from you two; everywhere I looked – there you were. Not that you ever noticed me,” he added bitterly. “I’ve got to tell you though Grace, I think you’re making a big mistake. There’s something wrong with Sebastian Caldwood… he’s not like you and me.”
“I won’t stand here and listen to this,” I told him sharply. “You don’t know anything, Clarke. And you have no right to try and tell me what to do.”
“No right? I thought we were friends, Grace? Haven’t I been a good friend to you? I covered for you the night your parents came for dinner. I didn’t have to, you know,” he reminded me. I was fairly confident he wished that he hadn’t.
“I suppose you were a good friend that day,” I reluctantly conceded.
“What kind of friend would I be though if I didn’t speak up when I thought you were making the biggest mistake of your life?” I was about to give another snippy response when I realized that he actually might mean what he was saying; he did appear to be genuinely upset or at least aggravated. He seemed to take my silence as encouragement to continue. He took a deep breath before continuing in a rush of words.
“I love you, Grace. I know you don’t think you feel the same way about me right now but that doesn’t change how I feel. I’ll be your friend for now, if that’s what you want, but how can I stand by silently and watch you ruin your life?” I was stunned speechless by the passionate way he spoke. This was a side to Clarke I’d never seen before. It was a side to him that I could almost understand, nearly sympathize with.
“I’m not ruining my life,” I argued but I spoke much more calmly now.