Orville Shaw spat a wad of tobacco juice that landed with a splat near John’s feet. John shot him a hate-filled look as Orville snarled, “Why don’t you just get the hell out of this county and move on North to join the goddamned Yankees, Wright? We’re gonna feel mighty nervous havin’ a traitor around when the balls start flyin’. I don’t mind dyin’ for the cause, mind you, but I don’t want to go out with a traitor’s ball in my back.” He spat again.
“That’s enough out of you, Orville,” John shook the pitchfork at him. “I said I was stayin’ out of the fightin’. None of you need worry about me bein’ a traitor. I just plan to stay out of all of it.”
“And what about her?” Orville nodded toward Kitty, who had moved a little closer. “I reckon we’re supposed to trust her, too, when the slaves are all but prayin’ to her these days, since she saved that slave girl of Aaron’s from a beatin’ she deserved.”
“Leave her out of it, Orville,” David Stoner commanded in a tone that made everyone turn to look at him.
Orville’s lips curled. “Naw, hell, I ain’t leavin’ her out of it. She’s the reason my cousin, Luke, had to run away. Luke was only doin’ his job, and she…”
“Orville, I said to leave her out of it!”
“I think we’ve wasted enough time here.” Aaron straightened in his saddle, spurred his horse to take a few steps backward. “You think about what we said, Wright. When the war comes and North Carolina secedes and calls for troops—whichever comes first—we’ll be expecting you to join up with us.”
“You can ‘expect’ all you want to, Aaron,” John yelled as they rode away. “I won’t be forced into going against my principles, and my principles are dead set against this damned war!”
His last words were buried by the sound of the thundering hooves as they rode away.
Kitty slid down from the saddle. “What was all that about?”
“Oh, you heard enough to know they want me to join that company they’re forming. To hell with them. Aaron Collins doesn’t like anyone that doesn’t bend to his will. It’s not that they want me to join that bad—he’s just trying to prove a point.”
He hoisted the pitchfork over his shoulder and started walking toward the barn. “I’m staying out of the war. I’m staying right here to tend my land, and they can do whatever they want. I’m having no part of it.”
Kitty stared at the cloud of dust flying upward from the disappearing horses. Then she looked at her father as he walked away, shoulders slumped.
Could any of them, she thought painfully, not take a part if war came? She feared not. The war was going to affect all their lives. There would be no escape.
She could only pray that it would be over soon.
Chapter Six
The icy winter rains came, and many afternoons Kitty was forced to sit in the drab living room of the farmhouse, staring morosely out the window, unable to meet Nathan in the woods. She had spent the time knitting Nathan a pair of socks for a Christmas gift. Usually, Lena slept in the afternoons, but on the occasions when she took her place in another rocking chair to whine and complain about her sad lot in life, Kitty would pull a shawl about her shoulders and make a dash for the privacy of the hayloft, where she would continue her knitting by the glow of a lantern.
It was five days before Christmas. The socks were almost finished. Kitty huddled in the cold barn hooking the yarn around the clicking needles, her thoughts on Nathan, wishing they were together. It grew harder and harder to control the heated emotions that sought to consume them each time they met. She thought of the previous afternoon, a Wednesday. It had been bitterly cold, and they’d huddled together beneath a blanket Nathan had brought along. Carried along by the tide that swept over them, he had lifted the skirt she was wearing, tugging at her pantalets. She felt the bulge of his manhood against her thigh as his lips had traced a path of fire down her neck, closer and closer to her breasts.
Only at the last moment had she mustered the self-control to push him away. Nathan had apologized, “…only for attempting to force myself on you, Kitty. I’ll never apologize for wanting you so badly.”
Her cheeks grew warm with the memory. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, but they had to wait for marriage. To do otherwise was unthinkable.
The barn door suddenly opened with a swoosh, banging against the wall outside with a loud crash. Kitty dropped her knitting, startled, reaching to blow out the lantern’s flame.
“Kitty, girl, you in there?” John Wright stood in the doorway, the gathering twilight forming against his silhouette. “I know you’re in here…”
“Poppa?” Kitty scrambled through the hay in the loft, alarmed because her father sounded excited—and disturbed. “What’s the matter? How did you know I’d sneaked out here?”
“There’s a lot going on that I know about,” he said gruffly. “But that’s not what I’ve come to tell you.”
She climbed quickly down the ladder, and then they stood facing each other, Kitty searching his face for some sign of what had disturbed him so. He took a deep breath and said, “I’ve just come from Goldsboro. I just got the news. South Carolina has seceded from the Union.”
Kitty swayed momentarily. It was the beginning. Which state would be next? North Carolina? She asked her father, and he shook his head, slinging his arm across her shoulders as they stepped out into the wind and began walking toward the house.
“People in town were all excited, most of ‘em. There’s still plenty of folks who don’t want war. I guess it’s up to the legislators and the General Assembly to decide what we do next. Let’s pray they’ve got the good sense to stay out of it.”
When they reached the house, the kitchen was warm, and Lena had a pot of fish stew bubbling over the fire. “Well, what’s wrong now?” she greeted them. “You both look as though Judgment Day is here and your names aren’t in the Lamb’s book.”
“Might as well be.” John slumped into a chair. “South Carolina has seceded from the Union. It’s the beginning.”
“Praise God!” she whooped with joy, then pointed her wooden cooking spoon at her husband, juice trickling down onto the clay floor. “If you’re smart, John Wright, you’ll get yourself over to Aaron Collins and tell him you’re ready to join that company they’re forming. They need all the men they can get, and they won’t take kindly to your not going along with them.”
Kitty looked at her father. He was scratching at his beard, which meant he was thinking deeply about something.
“Well, why are you sitting there?” Lena shook the spoon again. “It’s bad enough that Katherine’s unforgivable behavior at Aaron’s party made her lose the best prospect for a husband she’s ever had, without you bringing more shame on this house. You get yourself right on over there.”
“I don’t want to hear no more about it,” he said in a fierce tone, glaring at his wife beneath bushy brows. “It’s my decision, and I go along with my principles. I want no part of this fool war.”
Sometimes, Lena either got so mad she couldn’t speak, or she knew she’d driven John as far as she could for the time being. Either way, she lapsed into silence, for which Kitty was grateful as they started eating the greasy stew.
The winds howled, and they huddled silently near the fire, each of them lost in thought as the twilight turned to night.
Suddenly, there was the sound of horses thundering toward the house, and they sprang to their feet simultaneously, exchanging puzzled glances. John reached above the fireplace, and, taking musket in hand, walked to the door and opened it.
Kitty and her mother hovered behind him, gasping at the sight of Aaron Collins, David Stoner, Orville Shaw—and about ten others. Kitty’s heart skipped as she saw Nathan on the edge of the group.
“Wright, this is your last chance,” Aaron boomed as his great horse pawed and danced upon the ground. “We’re taking our company to Wilmington. We’ve received word that the citizens there are going to capture Fort Caswell and Fort Johnston be
fore the Yankees move in. Either you go with us…join us now…or face the consequences of your traitorous action.”
Lena tugged at his sleeves and whispered, “Go with them, John, please…”
He shrugged her off and said, “Hush, woman. Stay out of my business.” To Aaron and the others he said, “I’ll not be threatened…”
“You goddamned coward,” Orville Shaw shouted. “We oughta tar and feather you right here and now afore you join up with them Yankees!”
A ripple went through the crowd. Kitty stared straight at Nathan, begging him to do something, anything, to stop this madness. He glanced away, unable to take a stand against his own father in favor of hers, and he could not bear the way she was looking at him.
John slowly, but deliberately, lowered his musket to point in their direction. A few immediately backed their horses away, but Aaron and Orville stood their ground.
“Get off my property, you fire-eaters, or I’ll blow you off! Go to war if that’s what you’re so damned eager to do, but leave peace-lovin’ folks alone.”
Wheeling horses about, they turned and charged into the night—except Nathan, who stood back. Kitty pushed past her parents and ran across the yard to cling to his legs and cry tearfully, “Nathan, why? Why do they insist on persecuting my father?”
“They fear he’s a traitor, Kitty, I’m sorry.” He looked down at her sadly. “Talk to him. See if you can change his mind, and remember, I can do nothing for him. But one thing I will do…” He spoke through gritted teeth. “I’ll have no part in bullying him anymore. You can be sure that whatever happens, I have no part in it.”
“If that’s supposed to make me feel better…” she said bitterly.
“Kitty, I can’t change their minds about your pa. I can’t do it. Don’t ask me to try. It’s only asking for trouble. Now you talk to him. All they want is for him to join them. He’s a fine, able-bodied man.”
“That’s not it and you know it,” she said angrily. “Your father doesn’t like anyone bucking his power—that’s the problem! Poppa will stand up to him till the day he dies, and you can tell him that.”
She started to turn, but he leaned down and grabbed her arm, yanking her back toward him. John had been watching from the door, unable to hear their conversation, but he saw Nathan snatching at his daughter, and he yelled, “You get your hands off of her, Collins, or I’ll put a ball in you…”
“Poppa, it’s okay,” Kitty called quickly, then turned to face Nathan. “You’d better go now…” Anger was coursing through her veins, replacing the love she had felt moments before.
“All right.” He released her. “Maybe my father is right. Maybe you are just like your stubborn old poppa. Maybe I’d best just let Nancy Warren make that battle flag for our company.”
“That’s fine with me, Nathan. I might have known you have no more honor than your father!”
She ran toward the house, and Nathan, suddenly contrite, slid quickly from his saddle to go after her. “Kitty, wait. I didn’t mean it…”
She had reached the porch and darted past her father, who blocked the doorway. Nathan slid to a stop before him.
“Now that’s about as far as you’re going, Collins. You just get your tail off my porch and off my property. We’ve had a gut full of you and your daddy tonight. Now git!”
He gave the muzzle a shove, and Nathan sucked in his stomach and stepped back. He had no choice but to turn and go, misery washing over him.
“Now what was going on between you and Nathan?” Lena screeched as Kitty burst into tears.
“Leave her be.” John replaced his musket in the rack above the kitchen fireplace. “A girl has some right to privacy, woman.”
Lena turned, remembering what had started the whole turmoil of the evening. “Why didn’t you go with those men? What’s wrong with you, John?”
He sat down and slowly lit his corncob pipe, taking deep draws as the smoke curled around his face. Kitty had stopped crying and sat watching him. Finally, he said to the anxiously waiting women, “I heard about what they planned to do when I was in town. I overheard Orville Shaw talking about how they’d gotten wind that some men in Wilmington wanted to take over those two forts near the mouth of the Cape Fear River, before the Yankees declared them Federal Forts. I’m not about to get involved in such madness.”
Lena shrieked. “You’re the one who’s mad, John Wright. My God, I think you’re a coward! I think you hide behind your so-called principles because deep down, you’re scared to death of fighting! If I were a man, I’d take up arms to show my neighbors I intend to stick up for my state.”
He got to his feet, held out a hand to Kitty, which she took. They started toward the door.
“Where do you think you’re going, damn you! I’m not through talking to you, yet, you old fool.”
“Well, I’m through listening,” he said soberly, as they stepped onto the porch, the door slamming behind them.
It was cold. Kitty pulled her shawl tightly about her, grateful they were heading quickly for the barn. Once inside, it was a bit warmer. John lit a lantern, and they sat down on two kegs. “I had to get out of there,” he said quietly. “Sometimes that woman nags me till I start seeing red things floating before my eyes, and it gets hard to breathe.”
Kitty didn’t know what to say. She understood how he felt, because Lena’s nagging got to her, too, but she hated to speak out against her.
“You been slipping off to see Nathan Collins, haven’t you?”
The question took her by surprise. She stuttered, “Why…why do you ask me that?”
He snorted. “I’m not the fool your mother thinks I am. I know what goes on around here.”
“Are you mad about it?” She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, trying to read the expression on his face.
“No. I just hope you know what you’re doing, Kitty, It’s easy for a young girl with an anxious heart to be blinded to a lot of things. You probably find him handsome—exciting, and I know at your age your blood can run pretty hot.”
She felt her face growing warm. It was very intimate talk that her father was dishing out. She didn’t want him to think badly of her, so she blurted, “Poppa, we haven’t done anything wrong. We’d never do that.”
“His daddy forbid him to see you, girl. Where’s your pride? Why’d you lower yourself to sneak off in the woods like an animal? What kind of man is he that he won’t stand up to his daddy if he really loves you? Have you thought about that? Have you?”
She nodded, suddenly ashamed. “Yes, and I guess I just love him so much that I was willing to sneak to be with him. He’s asked me to marry him. He had asked me to make the battle flag for his company. He was going to marry me before he went off to fight when war came. Now all that’s changed.” She dug in the dirt with her heels.
“No, he was running after you to straighten things out when I made him git. He’ll be back.”
“And you don’t want me to see him anymore, do you, Poppa?” She raised tear-filled eyes to meet his sad gaze. “You don’t like Nathan, and you don’t want me to marry him, do you?”
He withdrew his pipe stem from his lips and looked at her incredulously. “Now, Kitty, you know I’m not going to tell you what to do with your life. You’ve got your own decisions to make. I’m just telling you what I think. When you get to be as old as I am, you’ll learn to judge people by little things they say and do…or things they don’t say and don’t do. Personally, I think Nathan Collins hasn’t got the guts to stand up to his father, and I think you’re foolish to slip around to meet him. If he loved you the way you want him to, he’d stand up to Aaron and face him like a man.”
He drew on his pipe once again. Kitty pulled her knees up against her chest.
“You aren’t going to fight with the Wayne Volunteers, are you?” she asked quietly, wanting to talk about something else.
“No, I’m not. I don’t aim to be pushed into doing anything I don’t want to do, particularly som
ething I don’t believe in. I’m staying out of this war.”
Kitty’s mind was in a whirl. She loved Nathan, and she was sure that he loved her. But what Poppa said made sense. Nathan should stand up to his father. He was a grown man. It was an insult for him to expect her to sneak and meet him. She wasn’t guilty of anything. What had she done except stand up for something she believed in? If Aaron condemned her for that and felt it made her unworthy of his son, then damn him.
And if Nathan didn’t love her enough to stand up to his brutish, powerful father—then damn him, too.
But the thought made her blink back tears.
Damn me, she thought, I love him.
Chapter Seven
Christmas came and went. It was a bleak time, with the talk of war gloomily overshadowing any attempt at holiday festivities. Kitty did not hear from Nathan, nor did she go to their meeting place in the woods on the chance that he might be waiting for her there. She needed time to think, to sort out the turmoil bubbling within her.
On New Year’s eve, 1861, the citizens of Wilmington, North Carolina, worried over the war threats, wired the Governor of the state, John W. Ellis, to request permission to seize Forts Caswell and Johnston, located near the mouth of the Cape Fear River. John Wright brought this news from town, as well as the information that Aaron Collins and his men were down in Wilmington, waiting for the Governor’s permission and threatening to help seize the important installations even if it did not come. Governor Ellis refused the request on the grounds that he had no authority to grant it, and the word from Wilmington was that the people were not about to be discouraged. They felt the seizure of the forts was important to their city’s welfare and safety.
John brought home a newspaper that had a story in it about a man named W. W. Ashe heading up a commission that had visited the governor personally in Raleigh, begging for permission to take over the forts. Again, he had refused.
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