by Jean Ure
There was then a bit of a pause.
“Hope your ankle gets better,” I said.
“Oh, it will,” she said. “It’ll be all right by Monday.”
So that was that! I felt hugely relieved.
Stayed home all day, washing my hair and practising make-up. I bought some glittery stuff on Thursday, same as Charlie had, but it doesn’t seem to suit me like it does her. It must be the wrong colour, or something. I had to wash it all off again.
Finally got ready - “Home by eleven!” thundered Mum - and caught the bus into town. It seemed very strange to be going in at that hour and as a matter of fact I felt quite nervous. As a rule I would have had Charlie to keep me company but now I was on my own! However, as soon as I saw Sean I felt all right as he is one of those people, he puts you immediately at your ease. Plus we have so many things to talk about! School, and families, and books and paintings, not that I know very much about the latter, but I intend to learn. Things that have happened in the shop, movies that we have seen. The list is endless! (Unlike with poor old Spooky Steve, who could only talk about his wretched hamsters.)
We discussed where we should go. Life in this town can be very frustrating for a teenager. We have only one cinema that shows current movies, and the movie they happened to be showing right now was an 18, which we didn’t think, probably, we would be able to get into. It is so stupid! I watch them all the time at home. Well, sometimes I do. But we didn’t want the ignomimy-nomony-? we didn’t want to be embarrassed by being told we were under age so we went to the Re-Run House, instead, where they were showing something called Priscilla Queen of the Desert which is a 15 (but no problem!) and which we both thought was going to be really pukey, all about lurv, but which turned out to be truly wicked and amusing. It was about three men who dressed up as women and got to sing songs by Abba and travelled across the Australian outback in a bus painted pink. Mum, I know, would just love it!
Afterwards, when we had gone for a pizza, Sean seemed a bit worried about having laughed so much. He said, “I hope you don’t think I’m gay? I’m not an Abba fan!”
I said, “Why? Are Abba fans gay?”
Sean said, “Well, there’s got to be something wrong with them,” which made me giggle (though actually I quite liked the Abba songs) but then suddenly he came over all serious and said, “Not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong with being gay… just something wrong with being an Abba fan!” So that I was glad I hadn’t admitted to liking them!
It is rather a minefield when you know so little about a subject - music, in my case - and cannot decide whether you should like a thing or whether it is dead naff. But I am learning!
We had just finished eating our pizzas when a rather strange incident occurred: Charlie went walking past! She was holding hands with Tom, and she wasn’t even limping. I find this decidedly odd.
Sean has asked me if I will go to a party with him next Saturday!
Sunday
This morning at eleven o’clock, Charlie rang. She said, “Is it OK if I come round?”
I said, “What about your ankle?”
“Oh,” she said, “that’s much better!”
I thought to myself, yes, it was much better last night, only I didn’t say so as I didn’t want unpleasantness. I know she lied to me, but I was going to lie to her, as well, so I was just as bad. Except that as it turns out we were both doing it with the best of intentions!
“I didn’t want you to be upset,” said Charlie.
I said, “I didn’t want you to be!”
“I was scared you might feel, like… left out,” said Charlie.
I said I was scared that was how she might have felt.
“The reason I came round,” she said, “Tom’s asked me if I’ll go to a party with him next Saturday.”
I said, “Sean’s asked me if I’ll go to one!”
At this we both broke out into relieved giggles.
“Oh!” said Charlie. “You don’t think it’s the same party?”
I think it probably is. I am so glad we don’t have to lie to each other any more!
Three years Later…
My long-lost diary! I thought it was gone for ever. I discovered it this morning, while clearing out my bedroom cupboard. I have been trying to re-read it, but I can’t! It is just so embarrassing. What weird creatures we were! Both of us. Though I think if anything I was the weirder of the two. If it hadn’t been for me, I don’t believe that Charlie would have been weird at all. I was the one always going on about educating ourselves and reading the classics and not being side-tracked by boys.
I never did finish reading War and Peace. But there is still time! I have not given up on it. It is there on the shelf, with a bookmark stuck at page 412. I am not sure what happened after page 412. Boys, probably!
In those days it was Mum who had them on the brain. Now it is me! Not that I am obsessed, I think it is pathetic if female thoughts revolve solely round the opposite sex. But they can be quite interesting and amusing, and make a refreshing change from girly gossip. At any rate, I should not like to live in a world which did not contain them. In other words, I am not cut out to be a nun!!!
Nor is Charlie, that is for sure. She is going out with this gorgeous hunk called Josh that she met in Aquazoo, where she does Saturday work. I am going out with Craig, whom I met at a party. Me, at a party! But I go to them all the time these days. And I never stand in corners or hide in the loo! I have become terrifically normal.
It is so strange how things turn out. I blush now to remember how I used to have all those erotic day-dreams about Carlito. Charlie used to day-dream about Alastair (whom I secretly always thought was a bit of a wimp). Alastair was the embodiment of worldly sophistication, where Carlito represented a primitive force. How we used to drool over them! (I dread to think what became of all the drivel I wrote. All those episodes! If ever I find them I shall immediately consign them to a black plastic bin bag. No power on earth would get me to read them again!)
What is strange is that it is Charlie who is now going out with a primitive force while I am going out with worldly sophistication. Craig is so cool!
I still see Sean from time to time. He is at uni, studying to become a doctor. We are good friends and hopefully always will be. Tom and Charlie, on the other hand, had this simply humungous row when Charlie caught Tom going out with another girl, so that for ages I hardly dared even mention his name. It made things a bit awkward, what with him and Sean being such good buddies, but she got over it in the end. These things happen.
The reason I have been tidying out my cupboard is that we are moving. After all this time! Mum and Harry got married last August, and now they have bought a house just a few blocks away. Mum is thrilled as it has a) a fitted kitchen and b) a spare bedroom. She has become tremendously staid! She complains that her waistline is spreading, though I have to say I cannot see any signs of it. She still looks really good for her age. But she and Harry hardly ever go out on the razzle any more. They seem quite content just to stay in and watch the telly. And sometimes, at ten o’clock, they will say, “Let’s go to bed and read.” Sad, in a way; but nice that Mum is part of a Happy Couple!
Funny to think that it used to be me saying to Mum, “You can’t go out like that!” and now it is Mum who says it to me. She said it only last night - well, shrieked it, actually.
“Cresta! You can’t go out dressed like that!”
It was Harry who came to my rescue. He said, “Oh, let her be! She’s young. She can get away with it.”
Good old Harry! He is really quite a sweetie.
Even though we broke our vows of celibacy - no boys before uni. Oh, dear! Such nonsense - Charlie and I have not given up on our ambitions. We are still going to be brain surgeons! Or the equivalent of. Charlie is going to do marine biology and travel the world charting the oceans. (She got this idea from working in Aquazoo.) I am going to study law. I am going to become a lawyer! Or maybe a barrister. I have dec
ided that one has to be practical, and quite honestly there doesn’t seem to be enough money in just writing books. But I may still do it! I could write murder mysteries based on cases I have handled. They could then go on television and become best sellers, and I would be famous. Charlie could be famous by having her own programme, like David Attenborough, and talking about fish. Except these days I don’t get the feeling that Charlie particularly hankers after fame. I do! I think. Just a little bit. But of course it is not the most important thing. Mum would say the most important thing is being happy, and I expect she is probably right.
I shall miss Charlie when we both go off to uni. We are bound to drift apart, it is almost inevitable. But it has to be said, we are not as close as we used to be. We used to be practically joined at the hip! One of us never did anything without the other. I can still remember the agonies I went through the first time Sean asked me out. How was I going to tell Charlie???
I do think boys tend to come between you. Josh and Craig, for instance, are like chalk and cheese and really do not get on at all, which makes going out as a foursome quite awkward. We have tried it a couple of times, but it really doesn’t work.
I sometimes seriously wonder whether they ought to carry health warnings. Boys, I mean. The trouble is that once you’ve discovered them it’s like BB and AB. Before Boys and After Boys. You can’t imagine how you ever lived without them. They’re kind of addictive, like smoking. Not that I do smoke, and I won’t ever. I don’t want to get lung cancer, thank you very much! At least boys don’t do that. They just disturb the balance of your mind!!!
Oh! The bell has rung. That will be Craig, come to pick me up. We are going to a party! I must stop.
Goodness only knows how I ever found time to keep a diary! But that was BB. Life AB is far more hectic!
Mum has just called up the stairs. “Cresta, Craig is here!” Yes, yes, I’m coming. Farewell, sweet diary! Been nice knowing you.
If you enjoyed Boys on the Brain, check out these other great Jean Ure titles.
Three of Jean Ure’s best-loved stories in a bumper 3-in-1 edition – Passion Flower, Shrinking Violet and Pumpkin Pie.
Buy the ebook here
A warm-hearted story of friendship, school life and drama and the perils of sharing a secret After all, even best friends don’t tell each other everything.
The latest novel from bestselling author Jean Ure - perfect for fans of Jacqueline Wilson and Cathy Cassidy.
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Bitsy, or Jelly Baby’ as she’s sometimes called, has been doing just fine living with Dad and big sister Em since Mum died. The housework may not always get done, and dinners might not always be at the table, but none of them ever minded!
Until one day Dad brings home a girlfriend and everything changes. Now it looks like it might be down to the Jelly Baby of the family to keep it from falling apart.
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Salvatore d’Amato is determined to get a kiss before his birthday - easier said than done. From the bestselling and much-loved Jean Ure.
Jean Ure perfectly captures the lives of ordinary children their lives, with all their ups and downs, are presented with courage, humour and tenacity. These are special children who any child can relate to and will draw inspiration and hope from their stories of their lives.
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Jasmine, Laurel, Rose and Daisy. Four very different sisters, four very different attitudes! As if living with each other wasn’t bad enough, living with their parents is worse particularly parents who are both actors. Please!
But after the Great Row, the girls find themselves living with Mum, while Dad has gone to America to find work. How are the sisters going to achieve their own personal ambitions: become an actress, model, writer, vet when they can’t even achieve their joint ambition to reunite parents who are on different continents?
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Joanna, Chloe and Dee are the best of friends. They may be seen as outsiders at school, but they’re an inseparable trio. Joanna who narrates the story, lives with her mum. But Mum’s not your normal, average parent she’s a medium.
More comedy, calamity and cool characters from acclaimed-writer Jean Ure.
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About the Author
Jean Ure was born in Surrey and, when growing up, knew that she was going to be a writer or a ballet dancer. She began writing when she was six years old and had her first book published while she was still at school. Jean is a vegan and animal lover. She lives with her husband, seven dogs and four cats in a 300 year old house in Croydon.
Also by the Author
Star Crazy Me!
Hunky Dory
Gone Missing
Over the Moon
Boys Beware
Sugar and Spice
Is Anybody There?
Secret Meeting
Passion Flower
Shrinking Violet
Boys on the Brain
Skinny Melon and Me
Becky Bananas, This is Your Life!
Fruit and Nutcase
The Secret Life of Sally Tomato*
Family Fan Club
Fortune Cookie
Special three-in-one editions
The Tutti-Frutti Collection
The Flower Power Collection
The Friends Forever Collection
and for younger readers
Dazzling Danny
Daisy May
Monster in the Mirror
*Also available on tape, read by John Pickard
About the Publisher
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United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
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United States
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