“The air feels good on my skin.”
“Wait a little while, believe me you are going to change your mind.”
“I don’t plan on sitting here that long.” He studied her for a long while then said, “Well, you may not have anything down below going for you, but those are really nice boobs.”
“I was better off before I got them.”
“They’re fake? They sure don’t look fake.”
“No they are mine, but before they started growing, things were a lot less complicated.”
He nodded, and said. “Wasn’t it for all of us? I mean before puberty hit us and we were made insane by the sudden flood of hormones?” She looked at him then asked, “Why are you here?”
“It’s a long boring story.” He said, then considering her for a moment, he said. “I think your story would be more interesting.”
“Define interesting.”
“Broken hearts, lost loves… you know, all the things that follow a beautiful woman around.”
“No broken hearts, no lost loves, none that are missed anyway.”
He shook his head in disbelief then said. “You have a body like a Greek Goddess, the kind of face that could launch a thousand ships, and no loves in your life? Lady you have my permission to jump.”
“There were loves, just none that were earth shaking, not in their beginning or in their ending.”
“Maybe what you need to do is go sky diving, skiing in the Alps, hiking through the Appalachian Mountains, instead of taking a single long jump from a bridge.” She shook her head, “How can jumping out of an airplane help?”
“Ever done it?”
“No way! That’s crazy!”
“Lady, look where you are sitting, then tell me how crazy it is.” She looked over the edge then laughed, “You are right.” They talked for a long time after that, he gave her his coat to sit on. The steel girder she sat on had begun to sap the heat from her body. He made a joke and she laughed. She laughed harder than she had in years, laughed until tears ran down her face. She wiped at them then said, “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.” He smiled then said. “Feels good doesn’t it?” She nodded then turned to face him. “Do you really think I have nice breast?”
“You have great boobs, and anyone that has told you otherwise is full of crap.” She smiled then said, “I think you are the first man to ever actually see them.” His look was one of astonishment. “Forgive my saying so, but I find that hard to believe.”
Her look of embarrassment was evident as she said. “Most of my romances have been in the dark with the lights off and under the covers. Usually consisting of a quick grope then, wham-bam, thank you, ma’am.”
“Forgive me, but I would not need lights to tell me that those are world class breast. One good grope would have told me everything about them.”
“You don’t impress me as a groper.”
“No, I suppose not. I have always been a bit of an explorer.”
“So you aren’t one of those pinch-and-squeeze guys?”
“Okay, maybe I am a bit of a stick-in-the-mud, or maybe my sexual experiences have left me a bit uneducated to some degree, but how is it a turn-on if some guy is trying to unscrew one of your tits?”
She made a face, and then said. “It isn’t. As a matter of fact it hurts like hell, and is a long way from being a turn-on.” Her face suddenly morphed into a wicked grin as she said, “I had a boyfriend once who loved to twist my tits, then one day I reached down between his legs, grabbed his business and twisted it as hard as I could. He let out a yelp and asked me why I did that. I told him that I thought it would be a turn-on. He didn’t think it was funny. I never saw him again after that.”
“Yeah, I’d bet that a guy would make himself scarce after a little trick like that.” Jack began to laugh, then said, “Well, at the least maybe the next time he decided to try and unscrew some woman’s tits he’ll give it a second thought.” He paused and then asked, “Tell me again why you are here?”
“Honestly?”
“Honestly.”
“I just don’t have any reason to be here, and I don’t mean here in this particular spot, but here on this earth. I feel like I am taking up someone else’s space, breathing someone else’s air. I’ve never really loved anyone, my job is boring, and my life is going nowhere. I am thirty years old; I have no children, no future and no prospect of a future. Every man I have dated has walked out on me, or I walked out on him. The thoughts of waking to the same ritual every stinking day is just too depressing.” She looked at him closely then asked, “And you?” He sat quietly for a while then said, “Faces, too many faces, all the faces of the people I have killed over the years.”
“You killed people? I find that hard to believe.”
“Twenty years in the military, Major Ronald Jackson McPherson at your service ma’am.” He took a sip from the flask then said, “Bosnia, Desert Storm, Iraq. Not to mention a few other places around the world.”
“So…? You were following orders. You were in the military. That doesn’t make you a killer.”
“Oh sure, I even got a couple of medals. Funny but the medals do little to make the faces go away.” He hoisted the flask and said, “This helps, but the prospect of dying a drunk is worse than jumping off a bridge, not to mention that jumping is a hell of a lot cleaner.”
“Was it that bad?”
“Soldiers are trained to shoot back at people who are shooting at them. But during training they never tell you about the civilians who get caught up in crossfire and destruction, the ones that you see crying in the streets, holding the broken bodies of their loved ones. They don’t tell you about the nightmares that come later, or the voices of those who accuse you of taking their loved ones away from them.”
She reached out and put her arms around him then squeezed him lightly, “It must be horrible?”
“It’s a nightmare, one that won’t go away.” She released him slowly and then gave him a disconcerting look. “But what if you dream?”
“Dream?”
“After you die. What if you still dream? You could spend the rest of eternity reliving every nightmare you have ever had.”
“I’ll take that chance. Besides, what about you? Do you want to relive all of your dreams?” She shook her head, “I don’t dream. At least none that I can remember.” She reached for his flask, overbalanced and went over the edge with a startled shout. Instinctively he reached out and grabbed her wrist catching her as she fell. At the same time, he grabbed at the railing with his other hand and held her suspended above the canyon. She looked up at him, fear and panic written on her face as she begged in a frightened voice, “Don’t let me go. Please! I don’t want to die. I… I thought I did, but now, being here with you, talking to you, has made me change my mind. Made me see how silly I have been.”
He pulled her back up to the ledge and sat her down; she threw her arms around his neck and held on tightly. “I am such a stupid woman. How did I ever get here?” He hugged her to him and said, “You are okay now.” He stood up bringing her with him then helped her over the railing to the other side, handed her his coat and then said, “Go home lady. Go home and live your life. You are a beautiful woman with much to live for.” Remaining where she was, she asked, “What about you?” Jack shook his head. “No, this is the end of the line for me. I am tired of running from the erstwhile faces from my past, battling demons in my sleep, only to wake up and find them still with me.”
She stood there looking at him then said, “You are going to do it then?” He nodded, and then smiled, “But it was very nice meeting you. Even nicer that you are not going to join me.” He waved his hand in her direction, saying “And the view you have provided here has been priceless.” She looked down at the lack of clothing on her body, only her panties and the coat gave her keeping her from being completely nude. She smiled and said, “If anyone would have told me that I would be standing out here in the dark, talking to a strange man,
wearing nothing but my panties, I would have called them a liar. But, here I am, and you want to know the funny part?”
“What’s that?”
“I actually like it that you are seeing my body. That you appreciate it.”
“It’s easy enough to do.”
“I wish…
He looked at her and asked, “Wish what?”
“I wish I hadn’t thrown my clothes over the edge.”
He laughed, “I’ll see if I can find them for you.” He started for the edge, and she shouted. “No! Please!” He stopped, and then gave her a sad smile. “It’s time. Standing here only delays the inevitable.” She reached out and took his hand then pulled him to the railing, hugging him tightly. “You saved my life. I will never forget what you have done for me.” He kissed her on the cheek then reached up and caressed her breast. “That is the way I believe a woman should be touched.” She put her hand up and placed it on top of his. “You are certainly a different kind of man, did you know that?” He untangled himself from her and said, “I am happy to have met you lady.” She held on to his hand and said, “I don’t want you to jump.” He shook his head, and asked, “Then what?”
“I don’t know. Nothing, everything, anything, how could I know what the future holds? I only know that you are the only person I have ever really cared about in my life. I want to get to know you, find out about you. Shit! I want to feel your hand on my breast again.” His face went soft, “You are really a sweet kid, did you know that?”
“I don’t feel sweet, I feel scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of always wondering what might have been. Wondering if there might have been a chance for us.”
“We just met.”
“Okay, then being so close to finding someone that I could actually feel something for, someone that I might be happy with, someone that makes me feel like I am worth more than just a quick pinch, or a twist of my tits. Having my whole world come to this point then losing it all before I have a chance to hold it, taste it in my mouth and feel it in my heart.” He leaned against the rail then said. “And in a month, a year, ten years from now?”
“The bridge will still be here.” She paused. “For all I know, both of us will be willing to do a tandem jump a month from now, hell a month from now we might be willing to push each other off. But right now I want that chance. I don’t want to forever wonder what might have been. Does it really matter if it is tonight or some night ten years from now?”
“And the nightmares?”
“I’ll be there for you. I’ll be there to hold you, to listen to you, to help you through them.”
He looked over the edge of the bridge then back at her, “You really don’t want me to jump do you?” She looked at him then said, “If you go over the edge, then there is no reason for me to stay on this side of the railing. No reason to live.” He studied her for a long time, and then said, “You’re serious aren’t you?”
“Dead serious. You have faces to remember. But I will have only one face, yours, and sooner or later it will be more than I can stand.” He gave her a sour look then said, “You don’t play fair?”
“All my life I have played fair, played by the rules, stayed within the lines, and did what I was supposed to do. I have done it so much that I have become a non-person. So if I have to cheat, then damn it I am going to cheat.”
He laughed, and then said, “Lady you are something else.” He put his foot on the railing and started to step over to her side, his hand slipped on the dew-wet rail and he fell backwards. For a moment, he simply hung in mid air, gave her a sad smile then fell away into the darkness. He made no sound, didn’t scream or yell for help, he simply slipped over the edge and out of sight. She screamed out his name. The one word echoed off the canyon walls and died away in the night, and then she went down on her knees and began to cry. Finally, she got up, went to the railing, and looked over the edge. What she saw shocked her and at the same time brought joy to her heart. Hanging by both hands and pulling himself up slowly was Jack, his face a large grin, she reached out as he made his way up, pulling him back to the railing, and then pulling him over it, refusing to let go of him until he was on the safe side of the rail. Then she threw her arms around him and said, “I though you were gone for sure.”
“So did I. But I managed to twist at the last moment and catch the under frame. Thought I had lost it a couple of times there, but then I got my feet under me.”
She shivered and pressed her body against his as they walked back to where his car was parked. “Where is your car?” She shook her head. “I didn’t drive my car, I walked.” He looked at her and said, “The nearest town is seven miles from here.” She nodded, “That’s right.”
“You walked seven miles?”
“No, I walked fifteen miles.” He opened the passenger’s side of the car and started to help her in when she said, “No, wait.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The back seat.” He looked mystified until she smiled and replied,
“Like I said, I am tired of playing by the rules.
Ten Years Later
Ten short and wonderful years went by, Jack did have dreams, but not as often, and she was always there beside him. As time went by he was able to make peace with the faces and of the lives he had destroyed.
Each year on the anniversary of the day they met, they went to the bridge and stood at the spot where they had almost met their fate. They drank from an old battered flask and looked out at the darkness of the ravine below. On this particular moonlit night, she gave him a strange look then asked, “Are we down there, Jack?” He considered her question then said, “Maybe. Maybe some part of us is down there.”
“The part that wanted to jump?”
“Sometimes I think so. I often wonder about that night. We both fell, and maybe that part of us that wanted to leave this world, did.” He held her in his arms and said, “This past ten years has been the happiest of my life. I never thought I would meet a lady as beautiful, kind, or as loving as you.” Then he kissed her and said, “Or one who could make love with such passion as you.”
“That sir, is because you are a great lover.”
They stood on the bridge and leaned against the railings, peering into the blackness below. She threw the flower she had picked from the side of the road over the railing and they watched it as it disappeared into the darkness. Then she called out, “Are you down there, Millie? Jack?” No answer came up from the blackness, just the sound of the wind in the trees and the warm summer breeze. He straightened up and took her hand, “Come on lady, it is time for me to take you home… and to bed.”
She flashed him a mischievous grin, and then they raced back to the car, hand in hand, both laughing, both happy. The car doors closed and the engine started, tires crumpled on gravel as it rolled back onto the road. The noise of the car faded into the distance, the sounds of night regained control of the moment.
The bridge stood silent and alone. A steel beam creaked. A rivet popped. A bird called into the darkness. The wind blew softly, the trees whispered quietly of secrets; telling stories of times long past. Far below, down past the rusted iron girders of the bridge, through the darkness and the mist. Far below where the water trickled around and over the rocks, rests a battered and rusted flask accompanied by the bones of a man and a woman, a testament to their short time upon the earth.
Billie’s World
Dan found her huddled in an alley between two trashcans. The girl had pulled a piece of heavily stained cardboard around her to ward off the chill of recent low temperatures. He immediately realized that she wasn’t one of the neighborhood kids playing games. She looked half frozen. Dan reached down to touch her wondering if she were alive. In a flash, the girl sat bolt upright and scooted back against the brick wall behind her. Her clothes were ragged and she was covered with several days of filth and grime. She peeked at him through squinted eyelids as she threw her arms up in a protective gesture whi
le still trying to push further away from him.
“Whoa! Easy there kiddo. I was just checking to see if you were alive.”
She lowered her arms and then placed them protectively around her body while giving him a half angry, half scared look, “Well, I’m alive, so leave me alone!” He studied her for a moment then said, “Half alive maybe — and that’s a stretch.” He reached out a hand and said, “Come on, kid, the least I can do is feed you.” Pulling her arms tighter around herself she said, “And then what?”
Winds of Fate Page 14