The music room was truly impressive. She didn’t know the functions of everything, but the sheer amount impressed her. A piano, several guitars, amplifiers, microphones, and multiple speakers were all stacked haphazardly around the room. Kayla picked up a guitar and Kathy headed towards the piano.
“Girls, no!” Rebecca screeched before they ruined something.
“Don’t worry about it. They can look at them,” Rob said as he went over to Kayla. He spent ten minutes showing her how to hold her fingers on the guitar. Kathy came over to watch, and Karlee merely banged on the piano with ear-splitting sounds.
The doorbell pealed and Rob glanced at Rebecca. “That’ll be Spencer. I’ll be right back.”
Rebecca wandered around the sterile room with only stools, a chair, and the unused musical equipment. The walls were plain white with nothing on them. Whatever history Zenith once possessed was all gone: painted over or taken down. Was that really the final result?
Rob walked back into the room with Spencer and Erica behind him, who both smiled and said hello to her before she introduced her daughters.
“Rob, will you play a song for us?” Kayla asked.
“Sure. Why not?” Rob said, glancing at Spencer. “Come on, the ladies have a request for us.”
Spencer looked up at Rob, startled, and eyed Erica, who nodded. Rebecca sensed and wondered about the tension suddenly filling the room. Why did Kayla’s request seem way more than just the casual suggestion that Rob made it sound? Rebecca stood closer to Erica as Spencer sat down at the piano, which she assumed was his before he moved out. He ran his fingers over the keys and the sweet notes of music drifted into the air.
Rob picked up one of the guitars and plugged it into the instrument next to him.
Rebecca leaned into Erica. “Hasn’t it been years since they played together? Why do they seem so weird about Kayla’s request?”
Erica turned with a soft smile, and in a low voice said, “They haven’t played together except for a few times after Rob came out of rehab. When I first met Spencer, he hadn’t played the piano in many months. It was like they both got so soured on it, they couldn’t stand to do it anymore. After all the years they spent every single day, making and writing music together. I think maybe they freaked themselves out after everything that happened.”
“Maybe they shouldn’t be doing this.”
“They should have done this two years ago,” Erica said, shaking her head. “It’s time.”
Rob glanced her way. “So, Rebecca, what do you want us to play?”
“Me? I don’t know.”
“What do you listen to?”
“I don’t think you like my taste in music.”
“Couldn’t be worst than Erica’s,” Spencer said, smiling at her from the piano bench.
Erica stuck her tongue out at him. “Spencer doesn’t understand my appreciation of big-voiced women. You know Celine, Barbra, Bette, only the best.”
“I listen to country,” Rebecca said, ducking her head.
Rob stared at her and smiled when she started blush. “I had no idea. Really? You don’t like anything with a little more rock?”
Rebecca thought quickly. “I like REM.”
Rob nodded. “Okay; that I can do.”
Spencer got up and grabbed the bed sheet on top of what turned out to be a set of drums throwing it off. He spent a few moments fiddling with and adjusting the various drums. Rebecca’s mouth dropped open in astonishment, and she leaned into Erica. “I thought he played the piano.”
“He can play everything: guitar, drums, piano. He’s a prodigy with instruments. But his first love is the piano.”
Rob leaned into Spencer and they spoke softly for a second. Finally, Rob sat down on the stool and strummed the guitar effortlessly. Then Spencer picked up the drumsticks and started playing the drums as Rob joined in almost at the exact same second the song started.
They played the music for “Losing My Religion” together before Rob leaned into the microphone and started singing the words. His hands moved over the guitar without looking. The way they could improvise and play a song they hadn’t prepared for, or even played in years, was so beyond Rebecca’s grasp, she wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t witnessed it herself.
She sat there, her mouth opening in awe. She knew, of course, that Rob could sing and was pretty wonderful at it, although it wasn’t a part of his life for the time she knew him. As he told her about it, it just became a part of the past, without any relevancy to the person he was presently. Now, however, listening to him, she starkly accepted that Rob Williams was finally where he belonged. The ease and skill he showed when he played the music, and the harmony with which he and Spencer anticipated each others next move were like watching two professionals doing what they were born to perfect, and masters at accomplishing.
Rebecca’s heart raced when she watched Rob, listening as his voice caressed her until she felt like her heart would burst, with pride, and newfound faith in Rob, he was so good. She instantly knew exactly why Joelle stayed with him so long, despite how much she grew to hate the lifestyle.
Quite simply, Rob was worth it. He was that good, and that worthy. He deserved fame for his undeniably remarkable talent. He should have been singing every day. Every moment of his life. His unique voice could very well become rich and famous. As he sang, his eyes found Rebecca’s and he smiled. He was a different Rob than she’d ever seen before. He knew he was good at this, and must have known what she was thinking, and the effect he had on women who listened to him. He sensed the effect he was now having on her. She glanced over at Erica, who looked every bit as enthralled as she was. Erica was married to Spencer, but didn’t seem to know they could play together so well or like this.
When they finished, and played the last few notes, Rebecca didn’t want it to ever stop. She could have sat there all day and listened to it in Rob’s spare master bedroom, all strewn with dust and unused instruments. There was nothing professional or pretty about it. The only thing to focus on was their music. That was Zenith, and suddenly, she got it. She finally knew what almost destroyed Rob, but what also made Rob the man he now was. Zenith was the vehicle that brought him here, in every good and bad way. But it couldn’t be over anymore. She understood now in that moment of epiphany just as clearly as she knew her own name. Rob was meant to sing. The thought twisted her heart. Oh God, Rob wasn’t anywhere done with this.
The girls got up and started clapping and cheering. They surrounded Rob and hugged and even kissed him in their excitement. They, of course, had no clue of what Rob could do. Rebecca did, however. She knew, but ignored it. She didn’t give it much more thought or credence. That wasn’t right, and it wasn’t okay to ignore such irrefutable talent.
“That was—”
“Fooling around, Rebecca. You should hear us when we actually practice,” Rob said, smiling easily.
She couldn’t imagine it getting any better; but of course, he knew it could.
“You guys are amazing,” Rebecca said to Spencer. He was smiling as Erica said something into his ear. Spencer glanced at her, the girls, and Rob. Finally, he nodded and she saw something clouding Spencer’s eyes. What? What could it be? Disappointment that she was there? With her kids? Spencer finally met her eyes and smiled. It gave her an uneasy feeling. What was Spencer thinking?
She stiffened as the idea struck her. He wanted Rob to do this. Spencer knew what Rob was capable of, and tried for years to make him succeed. And Spencer realized, just as she all at once comprehended, that Rob could never achieve his full potential, or develop the scope of his talent, and accomplish his life’s ambition with a single mother and three little girls hanging onto him. The concept overwhelmed her and made her step back in shock.
For Rob to stay with Rebecca, he’d have to give all this up. Even though he wasn’t doing it right now, she intuitively and truthfully knew he should have been. Working on a construction site as a laborer was a waste of his time. He
should have been in a recording studio or on a concert stage, or creating his own music, and not regurgitating what the general population requested.
Taking the guitar strap off, Rob stood up and came closer to Rebecca. “Why do you look so serious?”
“I was, uh, actually thinking that maybe I should interview Spencer now.”
Rob looked surprised at her odd timing, but shrugged. “Sure. I’ll take the girls downstairs with Erica.”
The girls. Their girls. They could have been their girls. They could be sharing a house, and the girls, for the rest of their entire lives. Now, she wanted that more than anything. Somehow, her dream of Doug returning to them had morphed into wanting Rob to come home with her. She wanted Rob to stay in her life. She wanted to divorce Doug, so she could be free when she told Rob she was in love with him. All of him. And she wanted to be with him in every sense of the word.
Spencer got up from the drum stool and came over to her. He sat down on the chair beside her, his long legs stretched out before them.
“You know, don’t you? That Rob has to sing?”
Spencer looked over at her, surprised. “I always hoped for that, yeah. But, as you know, it didn’t work out.”
“It has to work out. He can’t settle for the ordinary life he’s living now. Or doing manual labor or something else anyone could do; because no one can do what he just did. What you and he just did together.”
Spencer regarded her with a different expression. “Be careful, Rebecca; we used to think that too. We truly believed we were something special. How do you think Rob and I nearly destroyed ourselves, as well as Joelle, in the process? Our music. Rob is under the impression that he can’t do it and stay sober. The thing is: although I believe he could stay sober, the most important thing in Rob’s life is sobriety.”
“He told me what you said: that you were done, and Zenith was done. But after what I just witnessed, it’s nowhere near done. It can’t be. Things could go differently this time. You are both sober now, and have more emotional support. And more money this time. You have access to resources you never did before.”
“You mean Erica?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t you take advantage of the newfound resources available to you? You have to follow this through with him and make it happen. He won’t. He doesn’t believe he can do it, Spencer. Not by himself. I saw it in his face. But I also saw how much he has to. He’s meant for so much more than this,” Rebecca said, waving her hand around, and adding sadly, “more than me.”
Spencer was listening to every word Rebecca said. Finally, he replied, “I wouldn’t say that. Not more than you. He loves you. And he loves your girls. I didn’t want him to. I knew it when he spoke about you and them; I saw it happening. I knew loving you meant he’d never risk the chance of a musical career again. But after seeing him just now, with the girls, and with you, I have to admit I’ve never seen him so happy. Or content. Rob’s never been content with anything. He’s always on the go, to the next thing, the next person, the next party. You see the restless energy. But with you, and them, he’s content to be just here. In the moment. That counts for a lot, Rebecca. Rob’s happiness counts for everything.”
Tears filled her eyes as she thought what Spencer just said was beautiful. It meant almost everything. It couldn’t change, however, what she witnessed, and she shook her head. “Yesterday, I would have killed just to hear you say that you thought he loved me and my girls. But now, after hearing you and him play, I realize how much we would cost him. We would, and we will. I know he’d give it all up, and move out to the middle of nowhere with me. But he can’t do that, Spencer, not anymore than I can leave my girls and follow him on his rise to stardom.”
“You really didn’t want to interview me about your book, did you?” Spencer asked gently.
“No. No one knows him, but you… and me. But after I heard him sing, and I saw the difference in him, I know he needs that, if he is ever to be sincerely happy. He needs to know he made it and achieve the success he deserves. Long term, and in the long run, he’ll regret hooking up with me.”
“I don’t believe that’s the case.”
She shook her head. “I do. I really do. He needs to sing before he can ever be happy, and truly at peace with himself. I know about your shared adolescence, and the beginnings of Zenith. Hell, I knew everything, but I still didn’t see it, the answer, until this very moment. He has to prove it to himself. Or the ghost of his father. He has to resolve all of his doubts. And I don’t think he can give that up. Playing just now, how did you feel? Is it still done for you too?”
Spencer stared at her. “I don’t know. I thought it was. I’m happy now. I don’t want to leave my wife. But Rob and I spent years planning and dreaming about this, and Zenith. It makes me wonder though…”
“What it could be like sober? You mean, now?”
“Yeah.”
The door opened and Erica stood there. “I’m sorry, I was coming to see if you minded if we started dinner. I… hell, Spencer, why didn’t you tell me about this?”
Spencer stood up, startled by her presence. “Because there was nothing to tell. Just things to wonder about.”
She came towards him. “No. That wasn’t just wondering. It’s facing the truth. What did I tell you when we got married? I have months of unused vacation. We can make things work out. If you need to try this with Rob again, I’m right there too. We can do this.”
Spencer put his arms around Erica as he stared into her eyes. Rebecca got up quietly, suddenly feeling way too close for this couple’s intense eye language. She slipped out of the room silently.
Leaning against the hallway wall, she closed her eyes while trying to keep the tears back. She wished she could walk in and say the same thing to Rob that Erica just told Spencer. She wanted to tell him how they could manage anything, and chase every dream, that she would follow their talent to the end of the earth. The thing was, she couldn’t. At least, not for another fifteen years. Her heart ached because she loved Rob, but acknowledged she could never give him the kind of lifestyle he needed, since her life was ultimately dedicated to raising her three children.
God, what was everyone else warning her from the start? Didn’t she accept this going in? She didn’t expect for a second that she’d end up here, crying in Rob’s house, aching with her ill-fated love for him, and wanting to be with him in every sense of the word for the remainder of her life. She couldn’t because the very things she loved about Rob, how kind and perfect he was to her kids and her, couldn’t justify what he would have to sacrifice in order to be with her.
Of course, she couldn’t give up her life, or move her girls around haphazardly. Not after all the upset they endured in the breakup of their own family when Doug left. Look at Kayla’s emotional meltdown from just recently. Her girls hadn’t healed yet from that wound, and she couldn’t stake their futures on the roller-coaster ride and precarious life of a music band.
Rebecca feared if she stopped Rob, or held him back from his destiny, the day would come, sooner than later, when he would leave her just as surely as Doug did. She never could have realized how much he was giving up to be with her until now. She rubbed her eyes when she heard movement from downstairs. The girls were running in from outside and talking happily with Rob. She heard his voice. He was teasing them. Shutting her eyes to keep the salty tears at bay, she prepared herself to lose everything again.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Williams, get in here.”
Rob glanced at Conner, his foreman, yelling at him over the loud buzzing of the sawzall he was using to cut through an unwanted half wall. Conner was waving him over. Rob set down the saw, sliding his goggles up on his head as he went into the job shack. He entered the small cramped space, overly crowded with tools, with mud footprints on the floor, and building plans on the table stained by coffee.
“What is it?”
“Been noticing what a decent job you’re doing.”
; “Thanks,” Rob said wearily. He waited.
“Look, you interested in taking on more responsibility around here? Maybe apply to the union? We could hire you on, and pretty soon, start paying you some decent wages.”
Rob was startled. During his life, no more than about three people ever complimented him on something besides his singing. His work ethic was something he hardly knew until the last year. He had never been noticed because of his work before. It felt pretty nice to be complimented for doing quality work; and the offer of something more that was good, decent and whole also felt nice. It was something real.
“Never thought about it.”
“Well, I’m just putting it out there. We like you, and think you could go places in this company. Maybe be a foreman someday. You’re sharp, and you catch on quick, and never miss a day. Pretty hard to find that nowadays. Think on it, and let me know.”
Conner stuck his hand out and Rob shook it. “I will, thanks.”
He left the job shack and walked back to where he was previously working. Holy shit. He was being offered a chance to become something. Something so much more than just a lowly, manual laborer who did grunt work that anyone with a little backbone and muscle could do. He even imagined if it could turn into a future career. A future of wage-earning that might be good enough someday soon to support a family.
Rebecca’s family.
The thought came out of nowhere, but was always there. Lately, he was working harder and longer hours. Was it because of Rebecca? And the girls? Of course, it was. He hadn’t felt motivated in years. But they motivated him. They made him daydream about what having a real family could be like. What a real life could feel like. A life in which he worked all day and came home to a real family, and the people he loved. Up until fairly recently, he wasn’t earning enough to even remotely support a family of five. Could this be his lucky chance?
Zenith Fulfilled (Zenith Trilogy, #3) Page 26