by Rita Hestand
"I don't?" she laughed.
"No ma'am, you don't."
He started back on the road and got silent for a while.
"There's no need to worry about me. I'll make it somehow."
He stopped the wagon, "You're the kind of woman a man does worry about."
"Well for crying out loud. And what kind of woman is that?" she asked with a snicker.
"A good one!" he said and didn't look at her.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so bold."
"That's alright ma'am, I enjoyed every minute of it." He grinned.
"Tell me, do you worry about every woman you stop to help?"
"No! But I don't stop to help many women."
"And I guess the only women you worry about are saloon girls." She scathed.
"Your wrong, I never worry about them. Because they can take care of themselves. They are hard women, Kate. A man doesn't go to a saloon girl for love."
"Then what does he go for?"
"Maybe I'll tell you sometime." He winked.
"Really?"
"Really," he smiled sexily at her and what that smile did to her body she couldn't understand. Every nerve in her body seemed to come alive. Just like that kiss, it was so powerful, so beautiful she would relive it for a long time to come. It was the first time a man really kissed her back, and she'd remember it all her life. She didn't know what possessed her to kiss him, but she was very glad she did. Because she suddenly realized it was different than any she'd ever experienced, of course that wasn't much either.
"Well, I'll learn. And why did you decide to come help me?" She asked her tone a bit sharp.
"Dickens, he ask me to."
"You owe him something?"
"He saved my life once, a few years back. I got caught in a high rising river in a wagon. I almost drown, would have if Dickens hadn't come along, threw me a rope, and pulled me to safety. A man doesn't forget something like that."
"He is a good man." She smiled at him now.
"Yeah, he is."
"Maybe what you ought to learn is how to rope a husband." He told her harshly.
"I've had a husband; it didn't do any good!" she frowned.
"Well, you better consider it, because you won't make it alone out here." He insisted. "And even if you sell, it probably won't be enough to keep you going any length of time."
"Tell me something, truthful…"
"What?"
"If I was a saloon girl, would you come see me?"
"Sure," he smiled, then grinned into her sparkling, blue eyes. "I'd come see you, maybe kiss you, then I'd jerk you out of there over my shoulder."
"Why," She stared at him with surprise. "Aren't I allowed to make a living for myself?" she fumed.
He shook his head and laughed, "Not that way, honey. Not that way."
She bit her lip. When he called her honey, she felt her whole body react to that word. No one had ever talked sweet talk to her. She wanted to ignore everything he said, but it touched her heart. And he didn't even realize it.
When he didn't say anything more, she took the reins out of his hands and whipped the mule to go faster.
It was a long ride and they didn't talk the rest of the way.
Chapter Nine
But the horse rancher seemed to enjoy meeting Kate too. Frank Campbell. He invited them in to talk over the deal.
Frank spent most of his time looking at Kate while Wes tried to make a deal with him about the hay. Kate was still angry with Wes and wasn't paying any attention to the rancher.
Kate didn't want to flirt with the man, even though he was good looking with thick dark blonde hair, and a muscular build. He had light green eyes and a big smile when he looked at her.
Kate was friendly but not overly and after a while they settled on a price and he gave them some other names of ranchers in the area that could use the hay.
He offered them some coffee and they agreed.
"I'd offer tea, but I don't have any at the moment." He smiled at Kate.
"That's all right, I prefer coffee, keeps you awake." She smiled.
"So are you new to this area?" He asked Kate. "I mean, I haven't seen you in town."
"No, I've been here a year." She informed him as she accepted the coffee.
"Really, then why haven't I seen you around?" he asked.
His smile told her he was paying attention to everything she said. It reminded her of Jim, he used to be that way too.
Wes jumped into the conversation, "She and her husband bought the old Miller farm."
"Husband, oh, I’m sorry, I assumed you were unmarried. The Miller farm, huh?"
"My husband was killed by a cougar not long ago." Kate informed him.
"A cougar? Good God, did they get the cat?"
"No, not yet."
"Damn, that's bad news. Glad you told me. He could be anywhere about by now. I'll have to inform my hands. Maybe I'll go after him, myself."
"Wes wants to go after him too." Kate informed him.
"Well, he needs putting down if he's taken a human life, that's for sure. I'm terribly sorry about your husband."
"Thank you," Kate said demurely.
They spent an hour there and then drove back to the ranch.
"Well, I guess that went well, huh?" Wes asked.
"Better than I expected, yes." Kate agreed.
"He was mighty interested in you." Wes remarked.
"I thought he was just being friendly."
"Yeah, I almost didn't get the deal sowed up, he was so friendly." Wes said and glanced at her.
"Don't be silly, he was probably married." Kate laughed.
"I don't think so. A man doesn't look at a woman like that if he's married."
"Like what?" she frowned at him.
"Like he wants you."
His words stunned her. He was right, that was how Jim had looked at her too.
"Well, doesn't matter, I'm not interested in him."
"Oh, why not?"
She glanced at him as though he should know, "I'm supposed to be in mourning for my husband." When Wes looked at her rather strangely, she continued. "Just because I wasn't in love with Jim, doesn't mean I shouldn't act it. Jim hasn't been dead that long. He deserves my respect for the dead, don't you think?"
"I wouldn't wait too long, if you want that rancher."
"I don't. Besides I'm—"
"In mourning."
Her head jerked around to stare at him. "I beg your pardon."
"Sorry, I'm out of line. Anyway, glad to get the hay sold." Wes changed the subject.
"Yeah, me too." She nodded.
When they got back, she pondered over how Wes had acted. The way he talked, he sounded almost jealous. But that couldn't be. He wasn't interested in any permanent relationship. He'd practically told her so.
Still she remembered that kiss and it made her blush once more. How had she been so bold?
But was that Frank interested?
No, she wouldn't be getting into that kind of relationship again. If she ever married again, it would be for one reason, and one reason alone—love!
Frank was handsome enough and his place was nice, so she figured he made good money. But before she did any serious contemplating of men, she would study on them a long while. After all Jim hadn't been the man of her dreams and she'd thought him nice too.
Still, a husband might solve a lot of her problems. How did she go about finding a man that could love her?
If Wes wasn't such a drifter, maybe—
No, it was much too soon, and she needed to work things out herself. Relying on a man was the last thing she needed.
Yet, she knew she was relying on Wes, and it seemed every day they got a bit closer. She'd confided too much in him already.
She only wished he weren't such a drifter. There were a lot of things she liked about Wes. First, he was God fearing, one thing Jim was not. He was clean too as he'd take a bath in the pond in the back pasture every other day. And when he smil
ed at her, her insides fluttered. She'd never had bodily reactions to Jim. She was quickly learning that not all men were beasts either.
That had never happened before. She remembered how in the barn, Wes had held her close and his lips feather touched her forehead. And then how he'd turned away quickly. But that kiss on the wagon was embedded in her mind. It was warm, and soft and gentle and her heart was hammering so, when she pulled away.
No one had ever kissed her like that. Even though she had initiated the kiss, he had responded and that had shocked her a bit. She hadn't expected him to respond.
She couldn't fall in love with him, he wasn't the kind of man to stay in one place long. But she couldn't stop the fluttering of her heart when he looked directly at her, either. And sometimes, he really looked at her.
Jim had never bragged on her looks, or her ability to run a home either. But she knew the place looked better. She was not a beautiful woman, but she knew she wasn't completely ugly either, even though Jim had never said a word about how she looked, no matter how hard she tried to look nice.
The one thing she could do is learn all she could from Wes before he took off for parts unknown. After all, Wes was a drifter, he'd be gone before long and she'd likely never see him again. She'd confided in him as she thought him a friend but getting too close might not be wise. He knew too much about women, she was sure of it.
That thought brought a slow burning ache inside her. She knew instinctively how badly she'd miss him when he left. She couldn't dwell on it. And although she sought love, she didn't know much about how to find it, either.
Late one evening she wandered out to the riverbanks, to wait for the Mississippi Queen to roll by. The river had a calming effect on her, and she let herself relax.
As it passed, she smiled, waved at the people, and watched the boat leisurely drift down the river. She sighed.
"You really like to watch the boats go by?" Wes came up behind her suddenly.
She turned to find him right behind her. All her nerves came alive. Ever since they kissed, she couldn't get him off her mind. "Oh, yes, I do. The river is so peaceful, and the people look so happy." She said, her voice filled with an emotion she couldn't define. "I read a lot of books, good books with happy endings. Looking at those boats go by makes me think of them and that although fleeting, they do exist."
"Never thought about it, like that. Maybe you should take a ride on one of those boats sometime."
She moved to face him, "It costs money I don't have and it's just enjoyable to watch." She told him defensively. "All the ladies have beautiful dresses, which means they have money. I would be very out of place on the boat."
"Maybe someday," he murmured.
"Yeah, maybe someday." She smiled.
The crickets were loud, and the frogs seemed to join in their choir. The moonlight drifted through the thick trees that lined the banks.
When it got too quiet, she looked up at him, "Watching the boats is kind of my escape," she explained.
"Escape from what?"
"From everyday life, from struggling to make it. From worries. It's like a dream or something, a moment in time, is all." She blushed. "I guess you think I'm crazy."
"No, all of us have our way of escaping. And I reckon most of us have our dreams."
"Really, what's yours, if you don't mind me asking?"
He firmed his lips and leaned against a tall pine, "Looking at the stars at night is my escape." He smiled.
"And what are you escaping?" She asked softly.
"My way of life, I guess."
She turned her head in question. "What do you mean, you’re a drifter, you go where the wind blows you, don't you? I would think you have an ideal kind of life. No worries about mortgages. No fretting about sick kids. You go where the wind blows."
"Yeah, but you can get tired of it too, sometimes. You see a family, with children romping around and you sometimes wonder if that could be yours."
She stared a bit too long as his eyes seemed to sparkle into hers now. Although there was a tension between them, tonight, the tension seemed to melt.
Wes was opening up a little with her and she enjoyed the fact that she wasn't the only one doing it.
She leaned against another pine and studied him in the darkness. "There's nothing that says you have to keep drifting, is there?"
He came up to her now, staring into her eyes, he reached a hand to softly hold her cheek as his thumbs rubbed her cheeks there gently.
His touch made her quiver with some longing she didn't quite understand.
"I was wrong," his voice went husky, his eyes glittering into hers.
Everything suddenly stood still.
"About what?" she barely whispered.
"You're not just pretty," he came a bit closer.
She held her breath, was he going to kiss her?
"You're beautiful." He said, taking his hand away and turning to leave her agape.
"Wes, I…. "
"Goodnight." He smiled, tipped his hat, and left.
He was the kind of man who left tidbits of himself here and there and walked away before anyone could tell him it was alright to care about things.
Did he care?
And why had he touched her like that, so gently, his eyes glittering into hers. What did he really want to say to her? Or was she merely hoping?
Chapter Ten
Kate walked back to the house slowly, her heart pounding. For a moment back there, she thought he was going to kiss her. But he didn't. Still his words had thrilled her. Beautiful! No one had ever said anything like that to her.
She wasn't being modest. She'd never spent much time looking at herself, there simply was no need. Jim thought it sinful and vain for a woman to stare into a mirror.
But she suddenly wished she were.
Her mind and body fluttered.
She had wanted Wes to kiss her, and that realization shocked her. She'd never had that urge before. Jim hadn't kissed her but once, at the wedding and it was hardly a kiss.
Knowing how Wes lived it would be impossible to plan a future with him, but still her mind lingered there.
But good sense finally prevailed. He'd given her a great compliment, and she'd hold it dear to her heart. It didn't mean anything, except to her. He probably told girls that all the time. Still, Wes didn't have any real girlfriends, just dancehall girls. And they were probably beautiful to him too. She couldn’t make too much of it. She'd put it where it belonged, secretly tucked tight into her heart. For in truth, it was the nicest thing any man had said to her.
She couldn't help but think that whatever woman did snag his heart, would be one lucky lady.
She went to bed and lay there thinking of the night, the beautiful boat, and how Wes had made the night magical to her. Moments like this were to be treasured, and secret.
She went to sleep and slept well. Moby laid by her bed and moaned a little when he turned over. She reached her hand down to him and stroked his belly. "Your so spoiled, but I love you." She smiled to herself. "But just a little belly scratching and you're happy."
The next morning, she quickly decided Wes was just being nice to her and not to make more of it than it was. She cooked breakfast and Wes came in as usual. She poured him some coffee, and it began to rain. She heard the gentle patter of the rain on the tin roof.
Wes went to look outside.
"Well, guess we won't be raking hay today." He told her.
She glanced over his shoulder, "I guess not."
She moved before he turned around and busied herself at the stove. She'd made bacon and eggs with biscuits and gravy.
He saw it and smiled. "This looks great."
"I figured you might be getting tired of oatmeal."
"I like it, but this is a nice change." He grinned.
"Well, looks like you got the day off." She muttered.
"Yeah, looks like." He glanced at her. "Wasn't expecting that."
"Not much you can do in the pouring
rain."
He saw her gloomy look and his face twisted into amusement. "You know how to play poker?"
"Poker?" she questioned. "The card game?"
"Yeah, you don't have a bunkhouse full of men to play with, so I wondered if you knew how."
"Not really." She half grinned.
"Well, maybe it's time you learned."
"Oh, but I don't gamble."
He frowned at her, "We won't play for real money. Got any dried beans?"
"Beans?" she asked.
"Yeah, we'll play for beans."
"You're kidding."
"Nope, when men don't have money, and they are bored they play with beans. It's harmless and fun." He told her.
"Sure, I have beans."
"Good, then I'll teach you." He insisted.
"Well, alright… " She managed a shy smile. "Maybe I can get a job as a card dealer on one of those boats," she laughed.
"Well, I guess that's a consideration." He chuckled. "Better than a saloon girl, I'd say."
"Oh I don't know. I think I could learn a lot about men there. And I think I really need to."
"What do you want to learn?" He asked her, staring into her eyes for a moment.
"Lots of stuff. Men confuse me for the most part."
"Well, we're not that complicated." He grinned. "So what do you think is so complicated about men?"
"My mother died early in my life. So I didn't get the birds and the bees talk. Dad was just too embarrassed to go into it. Then he died. But I don't know how to please a man. And I probably shouldn't be having a conversation like this with you, after all you are a man, too."
He studied her a minute, realizing she was serious. "I guess it's hard when a girl doesn't have her mother."
"I tried to talk to my girlfriends back home, but they hedged around things so much, I didn't understand. They'd say something and expect me to know what they were talking about. I didn't, but I acted as though I did. That's why I didn't learn much. I was too proud to tell them I didn't know much about men and life itself. I mean, I knew how to take care of myself. I knew how to grow a garden, and clean house and cook. But just like Jim. I didn't know what I was doing, flirting with him. I'd just seen my girlfriends do it. So I tried. And then when I married, I thought, surely it will all come naturally. That I could learn along the way. But it didn't. That bothered me. I've heard old women say you grin and bear it. I didn't know what that meant either."