by Rita Hestand
"So is Dickens moving in?"
"Yeah, and it's a good thing." She turned away as the site of him made her uneasy. The only man she'd ever seen without his shirt on was Jim. And Jim was very lean and not muscled at all. Wes on the other hand, had a very trim waist, but his chest and shoulders flared, into a very well-built man.
"Here," she offered once more as he buttoned his shirt and gave her his full attention. "I better get back. I need to fix supper."
"Kate," he called to her before she reached the door. "I'm sorry I have to leave. But I've really got some things I need to take care of."
"Of course you do, I understand. I knew you'd be leaving soon. I'm just glad you stayed long enough to help me get the crops in. I paid the mortgage for another year, so I've got some time to decide what I'm going to do. If I don't get decent help, I may have to consider selling out, but it is my last option."
"How long you think you can hold out, selling, that is?" He asked coming closer.
She dropped her gaze to the floor. "Well, if I can find someone to plow the field and help me get the crops in, I guess I can stay but if I don't. I'll have to consider selling."
He took her by the arms to turn her around to look at her. "I'm going to try to be back by spring."
"You're coming back?" she asked, shocked by the news.
"If my plan works out, you won't have to sell, Kate, unless you want to." He told her.
"What plan?" she asked.
"I don't want to say anything to get your hopes up, but if it does, I'll be back. By mid-April." He told her.
"You don't owe me anything, Wes. You did your job, and I'm thankful."
"I wish I could tell you what I've got in mind, but it's too soon." He stared into her face.
"Well, if you can fine, you have a job here, if you want it, and if you can't, I'll understand." She said her hand on the door to leave.
"Dammit Kate, there's so many things I want to say to you, but I can't yet!"
"I better go now, and supper will be ready soon." She said and ran out the door.
She didn't know what he was talking about. And the fact that he couldn’t confide in her told her enough.
Wes was a good friend, and a great hired hand, but that was all he was. All he could be.
So why were tears running down her cheeks. Why did it hurt so much that he was leaving? She'd expected him to all along.
She fixed chicken fried steaks, with mashed potatoes and gravy. She had corn on the cob, and fresh canned green beans and biscuits.
"Well this is a great meal, Kate." Dickens commented when it got too quiet.
"Yeah, it's great." Wes added.
"Thought we should have a good meal to celebrate." She told them.
"Celebrate what?"
"Paying the mortgage and getting the crops in and killing the cat!" she said her voice veering slightly from the normal.
"I bought some wine, I thought that would be nice." She told them.
"Kate, I got something to tell you, both of you." Dickens told her as she opened the wine and poured them all a glass of a fine red wine.
"I'm listening," she said as she sat down once more.
"I'm selling my place Kate, since I'm moving in here and since I am going to be living here, I'll pay the next years rent, so you won't have to worry about the crops unless you do find someone to work it for you."
"Oh, I can't let you do that."
"Of course you can. I'll be living here and using things and eating your food. I need to pay my own way, Kate." Dickens told her.
Wes stared at the two of them. "Well, that would solve a lot of your problems, Kate. It would give you time to find some help and you'd be helping each other."
"I hadn't planned on charging you to live here, Dickens. I love to have you stay. I need the company." She smiled.
"Well, company or not, I pay my own way girl. So it's settled. Now we can really celebrate." He smiled at her.
She leaned and kissed the top of his bald head. "We'll talk about this later." She insisted.
"No we won't. I won't stay if I can't pay my own way." He told her.
"Alright, you can pay it then." She finally gave in.
Wes smiled. "That makes me feel a lot better."
Dickens saw how reluctant she was, and he reached for her hand. "This way, I'll feel it's my home too, Kate."
She finally quit fiddling with the wine bottle and set it on the table. "I guess you are right. I got too much pride."
"Let it go Kate. If you aren't worrying and upset all the time, it'll be a lot more pleasant around here."
She snickered. "Well, I guess that's true."
"Good, now that's settled I feel better already." Dickens chuckled.
They sipped their wine and it seemed to relax them as the conversation picked up.
That evening they all three sat on the porch for a while. Lucky and Moby seemed to have made friends. But Dickens didn't dally much he went to bed early leaving her and Wes alone.
"I hope your plans work out Wes." She said softly.
"Me too. It's the first big ambition I've had in a long time. I want you to know, you've helped me a lot too Kate."
"Me? How?" she asked a bit surprised by his statement.
He snorted a bit, then looked at her. "I've been nursing this, 'Everyone's gonna die on me' routine for too long. I forgot I was still alive. You reminded me."
"I did? I don't know how." She chuckled.
"Sure you do. You kissed me."
She nearly fell off the steps when he said that. "I wasn't trying to change you Wes. I was just trying to prove a point at the time."
"I know that. But it sure woke me up."
"It did?"
"I guess if you hadn't been such a good kisser, I might have ignored it. But damn, honey, you sure know how."
"I do?"
"You do." He sighed.
"Don't let it go to your head. I don’t' want to come back to find you working in a saloon or something." He told her.
"I wasn't serious about that. I mean, unless I had to, of course." She chuckled.
"Good to see you smiling again." He said softly. "But Kate there is one thing I want before I go."
"Oh?" she looked puzzled again. "What's that."
"You might not want to do it."
"You want me to do something for you?"
"Oh yeah. I sure do."
"What?" she asked.
"I want you to kiss me like there's no tomorrow." He said softly coming closer now. "I want you to not think about Jim, or Frank Campbell, or Dickens, or even Moby, just me. I want you to kiss me like you mean it!" he told her.
"Tell me why?" she said softer.
"Because a man can carry a kiss like that forever and be happy. Whether he's a success or failure. Whether he's rich or poor. And I want you to know, I've been dying to kiss you like that for days now." He said coming to stand in front of her. "I'm leaving early in the morning. I wouldn't go so soon, but Dickens offering to pay you made it easier to go. I don't want any goodbyes, but I need this kiss."
"I'm gonna miss you Wes."
"I know that, And I'll miss you too, honey. More than you'll know. Now prove it to me. Kiss me."
"Then why leave?"
"I have to, now shut up and kiss me, Kate!" he said bringing her into his arms.
"Oh Wes," she cried, and she tiptoed and wound her arms around his neck and touched her lips to his once more. It was like fire and ice meeting. A slow melting of the mind and heart. His lips swept her into a void she got lost in. Only he mattered, only them being together like this mattered. The way his lips caressed hers over and over until she was squirming to be closer. She wanted to climb him, tare his clothes off him and make love to him, she wanted him so badly. And yet the pure torture of his abrasive shadow on his cheek, made her open her mouth as his tongue slid inside to waltz with hers. She'd never known a man could be so gentle with her, and yet set her on fire. The smells of a man that worked hard i
n the noonday sun. She wasn't breathing, she was somewhere dancing on a cloud as he made love to her lips over and over leaving her breathless and wanting more. How could a man kiss her and make her feel as though he'd taken her? And the thought of him taking her, made her respond all the more amorously. As he slowly pulled away, he smiled into her shining eyes.
He moved away, but the smile lingered, "Don't let any man change you, nor make you a lady. You’re a woman, a damned fine woman, and don't let anyone put you down. Don't get married while I'm gone…"
"I'll always remember you Wes, always."
"I hope so, honey, because I won't forget this moment, ever!" He told her as she backed away. "Sometimes a kiss can be better than making love."
She stared, her lips still warm from his touching, "Yes," she murmured. "It can."
He smiled sexily at her and she felt her heart race from his smile.
As he disappeared into the barn, she whispered, "I love you Wes Dolan."
He didn't hear her, but that was okay. He'd made her feel like a real woman tonight and she'd never forget that, nor him.
She touched her lips, they were raw, but that didn't matter. Wes Dolan had kissed her tonight and made her feel like the woman she had always wanted to be. He'd made love to her with his lips and she knew she'd given him her heart tonight. She couldn't imagine anything feeling better than that kiss.
She went to bed and dreamed of him. She wouldn't think of his leaving. She wouldn't be disheartened. She'd wait for him to return in April. It was a hope that he lit inside her, a promise, a drifter's promise. And she'd hold it dear to her heart.
Perhaps she was being too childish and dreamy, but that was alright too. He'd made her feel like a woman for the first time in her life and she'd never forget him for that. He'd showed her a softer side of a man. And she needed to see that side of a man, to know it was real. And he'd given her a small piece of hope for the future.
All she could think about was April, and what it might feel like if he did come back!
Chapter Twenty-Two
"So you're really leaving huh?" Dickens said softly as he watched Wes pack his gear on his horse. He never could figure how a man could live with so little as Wes did. He crossed his arms over his chest and paced the barn, trying to figure Wes out.
Wes turned around slowly, his face a bit somber but his smile lingered on his lips. "Yeah, I'm really leaving." He answered with a long sigh. "And please don't try to talk me out of it."
"But son, we need you around here."
"Yeah, I know that too."
"I know you didn't want any goodbyes. I went to bed early so you and Kate could kind of say your goodbyes. I hope you did at least. I'd hoped it would make it easier for you to leave by paying Kate's mortgage next year."
"It did! And you are right, we said our goodbyes. God, I never knew a woman could kiss so good." he answered with a smile. "Dickens, I've never said this before to another soul, but I've always looked at you as sort of a father figure, as mine died early on. You not only saved my life, but you and Kate… "
"I feel the same, son. Don't go getting mushy on me or I might cry. But have you thought this through? Kate's a young and beautiful woman, what if some dandy comes along and sweeps her off her feet?"
Wes smiled confidently. "Well, I guess I'll know it wasn't meant to be."
"I just wish you weren't leaving again. With Bubba gone, and selling my place, it's hard on an old man to say goodbye. I love Kate, and I know you do too, that's why I don't understand why you want to leave so badly."
Wes couldn't stop sighing, he hadn't wanted to say goodbye to either of them, but this was something he had to do, and it couldn't be helped. The sooner he got it done, the sooner he could come back.
He took Dickens hand and shook it, "You've given me lots of good advice, stirred me in the right direction many times. And for the first time, I've felt I belonged somewhere. Here, with you and Kate."
"Then for God's sake why are you leaving?" Dicken's voice was husky as though he were on the verge of either getting mad or crying.
"I'm gonna tell you, because I don't want you thinking bad of me, nor fretting about this, as I know you would. You've been too good to me to just walk off and not tell you. Your too old to fret about things, it makes you unhealthy. And I'm gonna need you, so I want you healthy. And you can tell her if the time ever comes."
"Tell me what?" Dickens asked.
"You and Kate woke me up." He turned and stared into the old man's eyes. "I've been in a long-lost stupor for some time Dickens. When my folks died, I was young, very young, and very alone. Like Kate was when her husband died, and no one around here would help. I was scared how I'd make it. I guess that's why I understood her so well. Then my Uncle came to live with me until I was grown. We got along fine, and I grew to really care for him. Because of him, I got over my sorrow of losing my folks, but then, a storm came up one day, and a tree fell on him and he died, and it all began again. Not long after, the girl I fell in love with died too. I couldn't take it. I felt like a jinx or something. Everyone I ever loved died. But you and Kate got me out of that crazy stupor I was in. Now I realize that life is so worth living and I do want to live. I've got an idea, and I'll need your help."
"What can I do?"
Wes smiled as he realized Dickens still had faith in him.
"I'm going north to the hill country and I'm going to round up some wild mustangs. I want to bring them back here and break them and maybe start a horse ranch."
Dickens brightened immediately. "You want to prove your worth?"
"Exactly," Wes smiled.
"To Kate?"
"No, to myself. I'm not a bum. I can do this, but I'll need you to build a big corral for this. I plan to be back here by April if all goes well. If things don't work out. I won't be back. If I don't come back, promise you'll invest in some stock and ranch this place, you and Kate aren't farmers, but you could be ranchers. Farming is a hard life if a person doesn't take to it naturally. And you and Kate don't."
"Why wouldn't you come back?" Dickens raised a brow.
"Well, accidents happen. Things could go all wrong. I love her Dickens, but I can't think of the future if I have none. I have to prove myself to myself. If things go right, I'll be bringing mustangs with me, as many as I can round up. And a ring for her finger. If she'll still have me."
"She'll have you. She'd have you right now!"
"Not until I prove I can do this. It's something I have to do. You and Kate raised my expectations of myself. I've wasted some years. My thinking wasn't straight, but it is now."
Dickens thought about it and nodded, "You're right, you need to know just what kind of a man you are. You can do this son. I know you can. It's a solid idea. There are plenty of wild horses. And your good with animals. I know you can do it."
"Thanks for the confidence." Wes smiled. "I'd have to break them and sell some off, breed others, but it could be done."
"Then do it son."
Wes smiled. Laying his hand on Dickens shoulders. "I'm glad you are staying on and helping her out with the money. And if she gets too blue, too down, tell her I said she doesn't have to be the prim and proper lady for Campbell nor the whore for Jim Marley, she just has to be herself, Kate. Because that's the woman I love."
"Why don't you tell her that?"
"I can't. I don't have that right yet. I've got to earn it, and I'm going to or break my neck trying." Wes smiled again.
"Nothing would make me happier son. I'd love to see the two of you married and having children and building an empire of your own."
"Our own, we're a family, she just doesn't know it yet, but you, me and her, are family. And I want nothing more than to put that ring on her finger."
"Then go with God, son." Dickens patted him on the shoulder.
"One other thing. I told the Smith boys not to touch her or they'd have me to deal with. I think they got the message. I told them she was my woman. I didn't have the right to sa
y that, but as far as they go, she is. Keep an eye out for them in case they didn't get the message."
"I will, don't you worry. I will."
"Thanks, and God be with you both until I return!" He saddled up and mounted his horse. "I'll be back come spring."
"I'll get to work on that corral." Dickens promised.
Wes smiled, and slowly rode away. Lucky followed, barking all the way.
Dickens stared after him.
Dickens went to sit on the porch, smiling and petting Moby, "Don't you fret Moby, Lucky and him will be back before you know it." Dickens chuckled.
Kate came out and saw Dickens petting Moby. "So, he's gone?"
"Yep, he's gone." Dickens replied, but his smile didn't fade.
"You said your goodbyes?" Kate asked staring at him to see how he took it.
"We did. But he'll be back."
"What makes you so sure," She raised a brow.
"He's got a reason to, that's why."
"Oh, and what would that be?" Kate looked at him.
"You… me, and this ranch! He's finally found a home Kate."
"I hope so," Kate murmured.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The further north Wes ventured, the colder it got. The snows would start soon. He'd been through this area many times and now that he was outfitted with food and supplies and ammunition all he had to do was find a wild herd. For years ranchers had said there was a mustang herd up this way and Wes knew if he scouted it out, he could locate them.
Lucky seemed to be in his element. He dashed through the snow like a trooper, excited and occasionally barking.
The north wind blew hard and Wes was glad he traded an old Indian some coffee for his buffalo jacket. He kept a good supply of coffee as in the winter it was essential, and his friends the Indians loved to trade for it. The Indian's name was Black Feather, and he just seemed to appear out of nowhere. Wes got along well with the Indian as he thought them caretakers of the earth and told them so.
But as night fell, Wes thought of Kate and Dickens. The memory of Kate's kiss warmed his heart. He sighed, he loved her, he understood it now. He loved her with all his heart, and he was determined to make his idea work. And his old friend Dickens, Wes was so glad he decided to stay on at Kate's. Dickens was getting up in age, and had lost most of what he loved, his friend, and his animals. Now, being with Kate they could help each other survive.