“The hospital wants their wheelchair back.” He hopped out of his truck and began wheeling me around the side, overstepping my puke. “We’ve been on our own our whole lives, Dylan. Trust me, bro, if I had to rely on others, I’d have a hard time too. If I had to rely on someone like me, I’d be even more pissed. We’ve been pulling ourselves up forever. We didn’t have a choice. This time, you still don’t have a choice. Yes, I’m with Harley. Yes, I know you don’t approve. But I’m still the only son of a bitch you’ve got. So get your douchebag ass inside of my truck so I can take you home.”
I stared up at the daunting height it would take to get inside of his truck.
“Get up on your left leg,” he instructed.
“Don’t touch me!” I didn’t need his damn help. I gritted my teeth and pushed to standing. I grabbed his truck door and balanced on my left leg. Falling forward, I braced myself against his seat and took a deep breath. “Where is she?” I huffed, squeezing my eyes shut as I regained my breath.
He looked away. “Nena’s having a movie night. Frozen, I think. Aubrey’s excited.”
Inside I broke.
Harley was spending the night with my kid? That cheating thing was with my kid? I grabbed the bar on the roof and pulled up with all my strength, just managing to get my ass on the seat. My breaths were too deep, my stomach turned once more; I needed a drink.
The honking increased and Bach snapped, giving the people behind us the finger. “Can I help you? I’m helping you.” He gently grabbed the ankle on my right leg and moved it inside so my foot rested on the floor of his truck.
In this position, the weight of my upper half seemed to put more pressure on my right leg. I kept my left bent, using my heel to push up and take some of the weight. From the front window, I watched Bach push the wheelchair over to the security stand, and then he jogged back and got into his truck. Putting it in gear, he peeled away, jaw set and anger palpable.
Like I gave a damn how Bach felt.
“You have a kid. You have to give a shit about yourself. You can’t keep pushing everyone away. That’s why Whitney doesn’t want you around Aubrey. What kind of example are you right now?”
Rage, searing and sudden, flashed over me. It settled in my heart, in my bones, turning me into a body corded with it. I had this intense desire to punch him. To ram my fist into his temple over and over again. I was so … I couldn’t breathe … my eyes were blurry. I closed my eyes and counted to ten. Without opening them, I spoke, my voice gruff with fury. “The next time you throw my daughter in my face will be the last time, do you hear me?”
“Dylan,” his voice whipped out. “She’s the only one who matters right now. Not you, not Harley, not anyone but her.”
I let myself go and hit my head against the window as he got on the freeway. “I need a drink.”
The silence in the car magnified. It was louder than our quietness. His anger, my anger—the two emotions were seconds away from colliding.
“Is there beer at the beach house?”
He cleared his throat. “I don’t drink anymore.”
“You don’t drink anymore? You?” Bach and I used to drink until the blackness was more real than the light. We drank our pasts into oblivion. When I realized why he no longer drank, however, I immediately understood his choice. “Why get drunk when you can be sober with Harley, right?”
His jaw set.
“Being around her kind of made me high.”
His hands gripped the steering wheel.
“Watching her face while I ate her pussy was better than any pill.”
A threatening growl emanated from his chest.
“I get hard just thinking of the look in her eyes as I made her come.”
The tires screeched, jolting me. I went flying into the dashboard. My head cracked off the windshield, and my right leg bent in a way that made me scream out. My senses were overloaded with the pain. My back went flying into the seat and my neck whiplashed.
“Should’ve worn your seatbelt, bro.” He continued smoothly back on the freeway.
I couldn’t help it. A sob tore through my throat. Pain, sharp and bone-deep, radiated from my leg. “I fucked her first.”
“You want me to break your other leg?”
“She was mine!” I shouted, body shaking from the rage, from the hurt, from the everything I was feeling.
“She’s gone, Dylan. The sooner you accept that, the easier this will be.”
I pulled the visor down to examine my forehead. There was a cut on my hairline. I wiped the blood off, catching sight of my eyes. They were rimmed in red. There were dark shadows beneath them, and my cheeks were sunken in. I moved the mirror back to get a complete look at my face. My lips were chapped, and sweat dripped down my temples. I looked nothing like myself. Gone was the man I’d been, and in its place was this pathetic son of a bitch. I slammed the mirror down.
“I want my daughter.” I wanted someone who loved me. Aubrey was my girl. I hadn’t been a huge part of her life since Whitney lived in California with her aunt and then I went to war. Facetime was our only form of communication, and it was hard to get a kid to stay still. But even then, there’d been a smile on my kid’s face every time she saw me. A light in her dark blue eyes that lightened the darkness inside of me. “I want Aubrey.” I hung my head and sobbed. Loud, backbreaking wails. My chest opened up, and I gave into the darkness wrapped around my heart. “I want my baby.”
Bach reached over and turned the radio on.
***
Hillary
I looked cheap.
My blond hair had been straightened, black eyeliner and pink gloss shadowed my eyes and lips, and Emery and Jasmine had outdone themselves with this outfit. My skirt was so short when I moved too quickly my bottom poked out. My shirt, skintight and red, was cut so low my attempt at having cleavage was fully on display. My midriff was exposed as well, showing off my belly button and lower back. To make matters worse, Piper was begging to paint my nails red, and Emery was picking out shoes from my closet.
My desire to protect my friend was turning into a nightmare. “There’s no way I’m leaving the house like this. My mom would kill me if she knew I’d even thought about it, let alone did it.”
All three girls, all dressed equally in short revealing clothing, glared at me. I didn’t normally take time to worry about what girls like Emery and Jasmine thought. We didn’t run in the same circle. We were from the other side of the railroad tracks, but the similarities stopped there. But for some reason having three pairs of eyes all looking at me like I was a prude, like I was somehow less because I didn’t think I was less to begin with, made my stomach fall.
I hung my head and reminded myself I was doing this for Piper. Once this night was over, we could do something I wanted. I hatched plans for the biggest wallpaper con known to man. Tea bags would hang from the ceiling, and we would welcome every cat lady within a fifty-mile radius. “Where exactly are we going?”
“This guy named Jona,” Jasmine answered, doing her makeup on my bed. Her hair hung down her back in dark waves. She dabbed red lipstick on her full lips. “He lives on frat house alley. He’s so hot and promised we could get in. You’ll love it, I promise.”
I doubted it.
Piper was watching me carefully. Why did it feel like I was suddenly a lamb in room full of wolves? Piper and I used to be lambs together. Now I sensed she’d rip me in half if I embarrassed her in front of her friends. I had half a mind to tell her to leave. Take your wolves and go bite someone else. But we’d been friends forever. She understood what it was like suffocating under the rules.
“Hot,” I mumbled, trying to pull my skirt down.
Emery, a dirty blond with a figure I’d swore graced the cover on a magazine, came over with my only pair of heels. They were black, and I’d gotten then on sale at the Shoe Barn for my graduation. “This will have to do,” she said, shoving them at me. “Put these on and then we’ll go.”
“Do we h
ave the money to get in?” Jasmine asked as she put the final touches on her makeup.
Piper bent over to rub lotion on her legs, showing me her skirt was also too short. She was wearing a thong. Her pale bottom was bare for me to see, and that meant others as well, which unfortunately I suspected was her goal. I was wearing the smallest pair of underwear I owned. They were cute and comfortable bikini styled, with rainbow stripes on the white cotton. All three girls had done their best to change my mind, but I’d stood my ground. No one was even looking at my underwear tonight. How they looked didn’t matter.
“I’ve got mine,” Piper assured her. “And Hill has hers.”
“Em?” Jasmine checked.
Emery looked down to pick a piece of lint from her skin tight jeans that did not exist. “I already covered my charge.”
A knowing smile spread across Jasmine’s face. A beautiful wolf with razor sharp teeth and a desire for flesh. “You bad girl. How was it?”
Emery shrugged, but when she looked up her wolf’s smile was broad and dripping blood. “I’ve had better.”
I didn’t understand what that exchange meant until Piper and I piled into my car, and Emery and Jasmine slid into the backseat. Emery had sex with Jona to get into the party. A nauseous feeling settled in my stomach. I understood I wasn’t like these girls. That didn’t make me more or them less. This wasn’t about who was better; this was about the rules. Rules I was breaking for Piper, because I did not enjoy the idea of losing her to them. Their darkness was hovering in the car, making it hard to breathe as I drove across the tracks. The night seemed blacker, or maybe it was that I hardly spent time out after the sun set unless I ran late studying or stopped by to see Mom at the bar.
Something about the darkness always made me unsettled.
Tonight I was out with a pack of wolves, and I was their sacrifice, slinking within the black of the night, enveloping myself in their sin. Chills broke out across my skin, and I looked over into the passenger seat at my best-friend. Her long tan legs poked out of her skirt. It was at that time I realized exactly what I’d done. I was dressed just like them. The desire to go home and the desire to save my friend swirled around in my brain as the girls talked about wolfish things, confusing me.
Mom was going to kill me.
“Turn here,” Jasmine ordered.
I followed her instructions and ended up on the notorious frat house alley. A straight stretch of road where the college kids bloomed. Rows and rows of houses flying Greek letters proudly aligned the street. The dark sky could not douse the fluorescent lights pouring from the houses. Women wearing close to nothing danced in the middle of the street. Men surrounded them, salivating.
What was I doing here?
Jasmine and Emery weren’t the only wolves in Crystal Gulf. I’d known this; it’s what Mom protected me from. They were everywhere. I think even at one point, Mom might’ve been a wolf too; that’s why she feared it so much. She was that girl in the street with a drink and sin in her lungs. I was her lamb, her one chance at rectifying the wrongs in the world. And I was about to do the one thing she never wanted me to do. I’d done it before, but this time, felt different. I’d gone with only Piper, not the two sin twins in the back. Somehow letting them alter my thoughts felt like they were really altering far more.
They were changing me.
“So we all meet up here at … say two?” Jasmine checked.
“Sounds good to me,” Piper agreed, checking her makeup in the mirror.
“Two’s fine,” Emery said, joining them.
I felt six eyes on me once more. Two o’clock was almost tomorrow. We were going to stay out here until tomorrow? I looked away to hide my unease, mumbling, “Two’s good for me too,” under my breath.
“I’ll just take these,” Jasmine said, reaching into the front seat to take my car keys.
I watched them fearfully. Without my keys, I would be stuck here. I didn’t want to be stuck here.
“Let’s go,” Piper hissed, tugging on my arm.
I followed all of the girls out. Once I left the safety of my car, I could hear the music from frat house alley under my feet and the rap music blaring from the house the girls were walking toward. There were no Greek letters on this one, so I assumed it was lucky enough to be close to the constant party going on down the street. Country music mixed with the rap. It was twang and urban, creating an intimidating mixture.
I ran to catch up in my heels and saddled alongside Piper. She looked down at me, grinning from ear to ear. This is why I came here. For that smile, for Piper to shed whatever was bothering her. I wrapped my arm around hers and smiled timidly back. I could do this.
Just pretend, I thought supportively, figuratively patting myself on my back. Lambs get eaten. Your claws are temporary.
I let Piper lead me into mayhem. Red cups, women wearing nothing, asses against groins, and smoke in the air. I had to admit there was a level of excitement in the atmosphere. It traveled over my spine, giving me chill bumps. Everyone looked like they were having fun. I wanted to have fun too. Granted that fun involved the beach and the sun, not vodka and rap music. I started to lose my cool at the thought. I couldn’t pretend to be a wolf. I shouldn’t have to either.
But it was like Piper knew I was fading. She gripped my arm and pulled me after her and the girls. They headed for the stairs. Why were we going upstairs? There was nothing good upstairs at a party. When we got there, we went down the hall and Emery knocked on a closed door.
“What are we doing?” I asked over the bass of the music.
“Pre-gaming,” Jasmine explained, winking. “Don’t look so scared. Piper, talk to your friend. She’s annoying me.”
Piper gripped my arm too tightly, warning me. “Hillary’s got no problem pre-gaming. Does she?”
“What is pre-gaming?”
All three girls laughed, breaking the tense bubble, just as the bedroom door opened.
Oh, my …
A tall guy wearing nothing but ripped jeans answered the door. He had tattoos wrapped around his torso and side, coloring his muscled abs. There was a beer in his hand, and his nipples were pierced. He was disturbingly good-looking, with hair shaved close to his scalp and startling intense eyes. When he smiled crookedly at us, I felt a nervous twinge in my stomach. Wolf leader! My brain screamed. Run! I was about to do just that when the wolf leader talked.
“Ladies,” he greeted, his voice a rumble.
“Sorry we’re late,” Emery spoke up, and then glanced at me. “Some of us needed a little coaxing.”
His eyes landed on me, and the look in them darkened. “Who’s this?”
“Hillary,” I squeaked.
His grin grew. He parted the crowd and stood in front of me. “You look familiar, Hillary. You ever come to my party before?”
He smelled like cologne and beer, and his eyes were trapping me. “No. I don’t think so.”
“No. Probably not.” But his gaze narrowed and he leaned closer. “Your eyes are crazy familiar.”
“My brother’s eyes look just like mine. Maybe you know him?” Why was I talking to him?
He frowned, shedding his wolf persona for one that was more honest. “The only bastard with those eyes I’ve met is Bach. Please don’t tell me Bach’s your brother.” His face paled.
It was my turn to frown. “He is.”
He stepped away from me and pointed with his free hand, face ashen. “Out.”
“Why?” I demanded, confused.
“Does Bach know you’re here?” I looked away, and he groaned. “Get out, Hillary. I’m not getting my ass beat for you.”
A sudden flash of anger settled inside of me. “Bach isn’t my boss. I’m eighteen. If I want to come to a party, I can.”
“Dude, I didn’t even know Bach had a sister. Look at you. You’re like a damn baby. All sweet and shit. Get out of my house.” He grabbed my upper arm and began leading me to the stairs.
“Jona!” Emery called.
He
looked over his shoulder at her. “You girls go to my room. I’ve got some goodies on my dresser. Get ready for me.” He winked, giving them a flirty smile.
Emery and Jasmine went into his room without looking back, leaving Piper in the hall.
“Piper,” I growled, ripping my arm free of Jona’s grip. “Wait for me.” How dare he threaten me with Bach? I was a grown woman. If I wanted to accompany my friend to a party, I could do so. Bach was not my boss. He refused to know me. He couldn’t control my life too. I stomped back over to Piper.
“We just want to have fun,” she said. “Relax.”
“Relax?” He ran a hand over his head anxiously. “Do you know who Bach is?”
“Not really,” she admitted.
Piper knew the bare minimum about Bach. She was as shocked as me when I told her about him, but talking about him made me long for him, and I tried to prevent that longing because deep down I feared I could never have my brother the way I wanted, which meant I could never have my father either. Sadness flashed through me, making my eyes sting.
Jona looked into my eyes, cursed, and then growled. “Fine, Angel, but if you get out of hand, I’m calling Bach first thing. And if I get my ass kicked you owe me big time.” He held his hand out to me. “Big time,” he stressed.
I took his hand, feeling like I’d just won something, but that I had no idea whether I’d want the prize or not. “Don’t call me Angel.”
“But isn’t that what you are? Isn’t that why Bach kept you from here and why you’re looking at me all confused? You’re an angel until you prove otherwise. Now go downstairs while me and your friends get ready.” He gave me a firm look and crossed his arms over his chest.
“What are you guys going to do?”
“You really want to know, Angel?”
Damage Me (Crystal Gulf Book 2) Page 5