by Luxe, Eva
Or maybe I’m just reading into the things she’s saying, or how she’s saying them. Worries about pregnancy make me feel so crazy that I start to doubt my sanity.
I look at Asher and he squeezes my hand again, but his face has gone slightly pale. I can tell he’s acting braver than he feels. I realize that I’m not the only one who’s worried.
“I’m going to go see if there’s a doctor available,” the technician says. “I’ll be right back.”
As she stands up to leave the room, I can’t help but break into tears. I feel like such an idiot, but I’m also so worried that I can’t seem to stop myself.
“Please… don’t just leave,” I beg her. “Tell me what’s going on?”
I bring my hand to my stomach and pat the baby I’ve been carrying in there, to reassure him or her— as well as myself— that everything will be fine.
Won’t it?
“I’m not a trained doctor,” the technician says, with a slight frown on her face. “In fact, while I’m a trained ultrasound tech, I’m a pretty new one. I apologize. I just started here. So I really can’t give my opinion. That’s why I need to get a doctor in here.”
“Tell us if you think it’s good news or bad,” Asher demands, and I want to hug him.
I’m so glad for his strong, domineering presence when I feel as if I myself am about to break down. He is exactly what I need— just as he always is.
“I… I think things are fine,” the technician finally says, but wrinkles crinkle across her forehead and she scrunches up her eyebrows in a betraying sign of doubt. “I don’t think there’s any cause for alarm but I just want to go get a doctor.”
She nods and then hurries out before we can say anything else.
“Well isn’t that just our luck,” Asher says, shaking his head. “We get this newbie tech who doesn’t know anything. Great.”
“I’m really worried,” I tell him, sobbing softly now, free to let out my emotions since it’s only him and me in the room.
“Don’t be worried,” he says, his head smoothing out my hair. “It’s fine. She said she doesn’t think there’s any cause for alarm.”
“She didn’t seem so sure of what she was saying,” I wail. “And she admitted she’s brand new, so how does she even know?”
I can’t help but let all my worries come crashing down, nearly ruining what was supposed to be one of the best days of our lives, before I even know if anything’s wrong. But all I want is for this to work out and I’m so anxious when I think of what will happen if it doesn’t.
Chapter 2 – Madilyn
“There’s no reason to assume the worst,” Asher tells me, reaching over to kiss my cheek. “We should only assume that which the tech has told us: she’s new and needs a doctor to look at the screen.”
“Okay,” I tell him, letting out a long sigh.
My practical, reassuring husband is right. I know that logically, if not emotionally.
There’s no reason to expect the worst. Except that I want this to work out so badly I would just die if it doesn’t. I really don’t know what I would do. I want to tell Asher more about my fears but I realize he’s a little worried too, from the way he keeps rubbing my belly and shifting in his seat. His normally confident aura is a little lacking.
It feels like it’s taking an eternity for a doctor to come. I can tell that Asher is thinking the same thing but doesn’t want to say anything. Instead, he hums a little lullaby to the baby, running his hand over my very slight baby bump.
It seems early for it to have appeared, but it’s noticeably there. I’d read online that sometimes first time moms don’t start showing until their third trimester but I guess I have genetics that lend me to an earlier protruding baby bump. I don’t mind, though, because I love being pregnant and I can’t wait to show—and tell—the world.
For now I can keep it under wraps with blazers one size bigger than I normally wear, and dresses with certain colorful patterns in places that draw one’s eyes away from my middle section, but pretty soon it’s going to be quite obvious. And that’s fine because pretty soon we will be able to tell people.
“You’re just fine in there, my Baby,” Asher says when he’s finished humming.
He pats my belly. I smile at him and put my other hand over his.
He’s already a great father.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” says Dr. Morris as he steps into the office.
“I’m so glad to see you,” I tell him, letting out another big breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding in so tightly. “Asher, this is Dr. Morris.”
“Nice to meet you,” Asher says, standing up to cross the room and hold out his hand to Dr. Morris.
“Oh sit back down and make yourself at home,” Dr. Morris tells him. “You have more exciting things to do today than shake my hand.”
Asher sits back down with a grin on his face and I want to tell him, “I told you you’d like him,” but I just laugh along with the two of them because I don’t want to give Dr. Morris an even bigger head that he already rightfully has. It rivals Asher’s, which is fine, since both of them are experts in their respective fields.
Dr. Morris is my regular family practice doctor and I trust him to be honest with me. He’s certainly more experienced than the ultrasound tech who walks back in behind him, looking a little sheepish.
“Let me take a look at what you were telling me about,” Dr. Morris says to the ultrasound tech, as he steps closer to the screen and places the wand back on my stomach. “It will also be a good time to teach you about looking at the different ventricles of the heart.”
It sounds as if things are okay. I’m just being used as a guinea pig for an ultrasound teaching moment. I don’t even care— as long as he tells me the baby is fine.
“See, there are kind of four sections, like this,” Dr. Morris continues, pointing at the screen with one hand while moving the ultrasound wand with the other. “Oh wait.”
He stops, and I tense up. So does Asher, but he keeps a tight grip on my hand.
“Well what do you know,” he says.
“Is the baby not okay?” I ask, bracing myself for the bad news, not sure how I can handle it.
“The baby’s heart rate is just fine,” Dr. Morris says, turning the screen around so I can see it. “But what had me stumped here is that there are two heart rates. So I guess I should say that the babies’— plural— heartrates are just fine.”
“Babies, plural?” Asher says, and audibly inhales.
“Yes, what?” I ask, unable to believe my ears.
“Right here,” Dr. Morris says, pointing at two babies on the screen. They’re bouncing around, and one of them is waving at us.
“This one was behind the other at first,” he says, pointing at the one who is waving. “That’s why it was confusing you.”
Now, he’s speaking to the technician.
“But you were right. That was two heartbeats you were hearing. One was just being shy, but now he or she has come out to say hello to his or her parents.”
He beams at us, and I start crying tears of joy instead of sadness. Looking at over at Asher, I notice a slight tear gathering in his eye as well— just like on our wedding day. This is only the second time I’ve seen my strong, brave husband come anywhere close to crying, and it’s only when he’s experiencing complete happiness.
This is why I love him. And this is why I’m so glad I’m having his baby. Make that babies . I’m having my boss’s— and my husband’s— babies. I can’t even believe it.
Chapter 3 – Madilyn
“Oh my God,” I say. “We’re having twins?”
“We’re having twins!” Asher shouts.
It looks like he was in shock and is just starting to believe the news himself.
He stands up and looks as if he’s going to bounce up and down. Instead, he extends his hand to Dr. Morris.
“Now can I shake your hand?”
“Or course,” Dr. Morris says, reachi
ng out and meeting Asher’s hand. Asher pumps it wildly, deliriously. “Congratulations. I must say, this is a unique reaction.”
“My husband is very unique indeed,” I tell Dr. Morris, winking at Asher.
“Well, I’m certainly very happy for the two of you.”
I wish I could join Asher in jumping for joy but I’m a little tied up— in quite a different way than I’m usually tied up when I’m with Asher. As he sits back down, Dr. Morris switches the image over to a large projector in front of us.
“Now,” he says, “Since we know everything sounds good, we can look at things up closer on here.”
“I figured it was either twins, or an abnormally fast heartbeat,” the technician tells him. “I was really hoping it was the former, but didn’t want to…”
“Lead them down one direction or another without consulting me,” Dr. Morris says, nodding. “That was the right decision. You did well.”
“And I was also noticing…”
“Yes,” Dr. Morris says, pointing with an arrow to one part of the screen and taking a picture. “The cervix. I’m glad you mentioned that to me as well.”
He frowns, and Asher immediately says, “What is it, Doctor? Be straight with us. We already got the good news. Now give us the bad.”
“It’s probably not that bad,” Dr. Morris says, reassuringly. “It’s just that the cervix is a bit open for this stage in the pregnancy, and we need to keep an eye on it.”
“Keep an eye on it?” I ask.
“We’ll start you on some progesterone,” he tells me. “And we’ll schedule you for a follow up ultrasound in a month. If it opens much further we might need to do what’s called a curtilage, to stitch it close and further reinforce the cervix.”
“So worst case scenario, that’s all it’ll be?” Asher asks.
Dr. Morris frowns again.
“I never want to say ‘best’ or ‘worst’ case scenarios,” he says. “Because these things can be unpredictable. Best case is always a safe full term delivery of a healthy baby, of course. Or in your case, two healthy babies. Worst case scenario…”
He trails off, obviously not wanting to finish.
“Worse case scenario is always bad, always the exact opposite of that,” Asher says, bluntly. “I get that. But in this exact case, what could happen?”
“An open cervix could lead to premature labor or infection,” Dr. Morris says. I appreciate that he’s being a straight shooter. “But it really shouldn’t come to that. With medical monitoring and any intervention, if necessary—and it probably won’t even be necessary—you’ll be just fine.”
He’s looking at me now.
“Don’t lift anything heavier than fifteen pounds,” he instructs. “You can and should exercise but keep it moderate— walking rather than running, swimming rather than weightlifting.”
“Which of course would go against the first rule prohibiting more than fifteen pounds,” Asher jokes.
“Exactly,” Dr. Morris laughs.
Then he turns back to me.
“You can go about your daily life, you can even travel and work and do everything you normally would do,” he continues. “If there is any kind of a change that would warrant extra precautions or bedrest, we’ll let you know. But for now, that should do it. On your way out you can schedule your follow up ultrasound.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Asher and I say in unison.
“I don’t mean to sound like a typical man,” Asher says. “But, can I ask…?”
“Oh yes,” Dr. Morris says, waving a hand in the air as if he already knows the question.
The ultrasound tech must know what Asher is asking too, because she blushes.
“It’s fine to engage in sexual activity,” Dr. Morris continues. “If we see anything at the next ultrasound that indicates otherwise, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
“So in other words, get a lot of it when we can, huh?” Asher asks me.
“ Honey !” I swat at him playfully, and the ultrasound tech blushes even deeper.
“Oh, just one other word of precaution,” Dr. Morris adds, as almost an afterthought. “Sex really is fine because it gets those natural hormones going and gets blood flowing to all the right places and is a natural relaxant. But, with that being said, the opposite circumstance— a lack of relaxation, if you will— is not good. So try to avoid stressful situations.”
Asher and I both laugh out loud.
“What’s so funny?” Dr. Morris asks.
“You do realize I’m a lawyer, right? A trial lawyer?”
Now Dr. Morris laughs along with us, as does the technician, whom I’m no longer mad at. I’m glad she went and found Dr. Morris so we know exactly what’s up.
“Well, believe me, I know there’s only so much you can do to avoid stress in some professions,” Dr. Morris says. “But just try your best to take it easy.”
Asher massages my shoulders as I sit up, ready to start getting dressed.
“I’ll do everything I can to make that possible.”
“Thanks honey,” I say, as he leans down to kiss me.
I guess we really are this blessed. Doubly blessed . What started off as a scary day has become a wonderful one.
Chapter 4 – Asher
“Hell Fucking yeah,” I yell, as soon as we get back to my place. We’re staying here for a little longer until the house we’re building is complete. “I’m going to be a daddy of not just one but two babies.”
I haven’t been able to stop celebrating the whole way home, and now I plan to really celebrate, the right way. I want to pick Madilyn up and swing her around, but I have to be careful now. Doctor’s orders. I can’t stress her out too much. But I can help her relax, and I know just how to do it.
On our way upstairs to the bedroom, she stops and looks at the blueprints for our new house, which are framed on the stairwell next to our wedding picture and some other phots. The house is all new construction that we designed and chose ourselves.
Madilyn’s will have a big fucking walk-in closet and bathroom with a jetted garden tub. I get a huge marble shower with double showerheads—which is perfect because I like to shower with Madilyn and clean her off after I dirty her up.
“I guess we’re going to have to make one of the bedrooms into a second nursery to match this one,” she says, pointing out where we had planned the baby’s room.
It’s close enough to our own that we could get there in a hurry, but far enough to give us one on one adult time once the baby is old enough to sleep through the night. Madilyn reminded me that that might not be for a long time— and I’m sure that with two it won’t be for even longer, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make, to become a dad.
“Or do you think they’ll want to sleep in the same room?” she asks me, her face masked in genuine confusion.
“We could ask them,” I tell her, putting my mouth up to her belly. “Hello in there. Little babies. My two little babies. Do you guys want to share a room?”
I put my ear up to her belly now.
“They say they do,” I tell her. “They’re already nice and snuggly together. One of them likes to play hide and seek using the other one as something to hide behind. Just ask the clueless ultrasound tech who couldn’t find him.”
“Or her,” Madilyn says, laughing.
“Or her. Maybe a him and a her.”
I pat her belly.
“You kids be good in there and we’ll start working on a second room for whenever you grow out of the first one,” I tell them.
Madilyn smiles.
“What if we have even more kids?” she asks.
“Our house is plenty big,” I assure her. “But just wait until you have two at once before you go talking about wanting even more .”
“Good point.”
“Now kids, shut your eyes and close your ears,” I instruct them. “Because Daddy needs to properly celebrate your healthy existence, with the woman he created you with.”
“Ash
er!” Madilyn gasps.
“What?” I shrug innocently. “Gotta get those hormones working and the blood flowing to all the right places, like the good doctor ordered.”
She laughs, and I pull gently on her hand to finish leading her upstairs to the bedroom.
Chapter 5 – Asher
Once we’re in the room, I want her so badly I’m aching for her. My cock is standing straight up to attention, ready to go.
I take off her clothes and run my hands over her shoulders, back and belly as I begin kissing her. I marvel at her beautiful curves that have only gotten curvier and even better.
“I didn’t think it was possible for you to get any more beautiful than you were the first time I ever talked to you,” I tell her.
I’m unable to hold back on giving up control to her, letting her know exactly how I feel about her. But it feels good now, because she’s my wife.
“When you yelled at me for answering my phone at work?” she asks.
I kiss her nose.
“I was just jealous because it was your boyfriend calling,” I admit.
“ Ex boyfriend,” she corrects me.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I tell her. “But that didn’t stop me from being jealous. You were gorgeous. And I wanted you so fucking bad.”
“But you were saying…” she asks, as she takes off my clothes.
“Oh yes, of course,” I continue. “You got even more beautiful when I married you, and yet even more beautiful when I found out you were pregnant, because then you became the mother of my child. Children.”
“That was on the same day,” she reminds me, laughing.
“Yes. But now I know there are two of them and you are even more beautiful. Your body just glows and becomes even more lovely with pregnancy.”
I pull her up against my naked chest and squeeze her ass.
I have to admit, I’m a lot more gentler these days, even after she’s read things online and in pregnancy books that say I don’t have to be. The babies are fine in there, but I still worry about hurting them, or her.
But it’s okay, because I like this new kind of sex we have. There is a time for everything and while she’s pregnant it’s my time to protect her and be gentle and caring to her. After she’s had the baby— babies — I can go back to the rough stuff. I think I’ll try tying her up to the king sized bedpost in our new bedroom or fucking her on the marble countertops of our new kitchen.