“Of course.” Dottie glanced across at my stomach. Roy Kilgore smiled and nodded.
My husband poured himself another glass of the expensive wine and then another and another.
Chapter Twenty-eight
“Well, if that wasn’t a disaster,” I said, driving home while my husband sat in the seat beside me and sulked.
“It was you who wanted to celebrate.” He sprawled out on the seat. “Sooo. We celebrated.”
“I didn’t want to celebrate that way. Not with you smarting off every second. Why did you ask them to sit with us anyway? You ruined the evening. Then you were hostile to them.”
“I wasn’t hostile. Just honest.”
“I thought we had this all worked out.” I was fuming. “You told me we wouldn’t discuss the Kilgores or surrogacy. Now look what you’ve done. Why did you tell them I was pregnant? You ruined a perfectly fine evening. I don’t know when we’ll have another one.”
“Don’t either,” he said, his eyes closing. He slumped further down in the seat. “Maybe never.” Then he was snoring.
Pulling into our driveway a few minutes later I said, “John Wasper, wake up. We’re home.”
“Home?” He pulled himself up and looked around. “Okay.” He got out of the car and closed the door.
“Take my arm,” I said and helped him inside. I turned to lock the door while he headed to the sink for a glass of water. “Whoa,” he said and the next thing I knew his feet were tangled in the apple rug. I caught him before he went down.
“Hate that stupid rug.”
“I know,” I said, picking up the rug and tossing it into the hall closet. “Gone.”
I guided him up the stairs to our bedroom and led him over to the bed. He plopped down and I went to lock up.
I peeked into the guest bedroom. Joy Ruth had fallen asleep reading. I pulled a lightweight blanket over her and turned out the light. The girls were sound asleep in their matching beds. I kissed their foreheads and tiptoed out.
When I went into our room, he was undressed and in bed. “I want to make love to you, Vada Faith.”
“Aren’t you too tired?” I asked, undressing by the light of the scented vanilla candle I’d lit.
“I’m not too tired. Come on, honey?” He sounded like a little boy.
“All right,” I said, putting out the candle and climbing into bed beside him.
“We don’t have to be careful now?” He asked. “Do we?”
“No,” I said, kissing him on the cheek and snuggling close to him.
“Good,” he said, yawning, “I’m glad.”
“Me too,” I said, but before I could make another move he was asleep.
I lay awake for a long time. Thinking about how much I loved the man beside me. I wondered if he would change how he felt about me now.
If he did, well, life wouldn’t be worth living.
Chapter Twenty-nine
“The test confirms it, Vada Faith,” Dr. Fine smiled across at me. “You’re pregnant.”
“Then it’s official,” I said, clutching the strap of my purse. My heart skipped a beat. I was really pregnant.
“We’ll have a spring baby.” He looked over his glasses at me. “How are you feeling? Anything at all bothering you?” He leaned back in his chair.
“No,” I lied. “I’m fine. A little nervous, I guess. Wondering how it will go.”
“You mentioned nausea earlier. Try the saltines when you get up. Eat smaller meals, more frequently. It should subside in a few weeks. Don’t forget to pick up your vitamins.” He stood and shook my hand. “See you at your next appointment.”
On my way out, I picked up the vitamins and got a drink from the water cooler. The nausea already was worse than anything I’d ever had with the girls. I hoped he was right and that it would end soon. Somehow I wasn’t as elated as I thought I’d be.
I checked my watch. I’d have to hurry. I was meeting Dottie at the mall. We were going shopping for maternity clothes. I was beginning to bloom. Not quite in the way John Wasper had wanted.
At the entrance of the mall where I met up with Dottie, I heard someone calling me. “Vada Faith! Slow down, Vada Faith.”
Joy Ruth was running toward me, wearing a pair of hot pink sunglasses and swinging a gaudy handbag. “You going to the linen sale?”
She knew very well we weren’t going to any linen sale and neither was she. She was spying on me, horning in on my life. She wanted to put in her two cents. I frowned over at her and kept walking.
“Oh, come on,” Dottie linked arms with my sister, “join us.”
“She doesn’t want to,” I said, crossing my arms. “Really!” I kept right on walking.
“Sure she does.” Dottie smiled, like we were all best friends. “We’ll have a girl day. Just the three of us. It’ll be fun.”
“Says who?” I stopped and glared at them.
Dottie and Joy Ruth were already bonding, striding into the mall. I felt like a third wheel as I hurried to catch up with them.
Joy Ruth turned back and winked. I wanted to kill her.
“Let’s go in here.” Dottie was staring at a display of Gucci hand bags in the window of a boutique just inside the mall door.
I walked over to a nearby shoe store to check out the window display. I turned away when I spotted the tiny white baby shoes in the window.
“Come on,” Dottie pleaded. “It will only take a minute. I want to buy a new purse.”
“You go ahead. I’ll wait here.” I sat down on a bench by a fake tree in a brass urn. I’d had to talk myself into this shopping trip, telling myself things would somehow work out.
Now I was in the mood and wanted to go into Mother-to-Be. They were having a big sale and I wanted to see what they had new since I’d been pregnant.
Of course, I could have worn a refrigerator box when I was pregnant with the twins.
The two women finally came out of the boutique.
“I got exactly what I wanted!” The older woman strode toward me, holding a new purse on her arm. “It matches the shoes I bought for my baby shower.”
“Baby shower? Already?” My sister looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Dr. Fine confirmed to me and Roy a few minutes ago on our cells that Vada Faith is indeed pregnant and I want to get started on stocking the nursery. Roy is elated.”
“That was fast,” I said.
“Yes, Dr. Fine is the best. We’re very pleased Vada Faith.” She gave me a half hug.
Joy Ruth gave me a full eye roll at the news.
“Oh, look,” I said, as we neared a Wee Ones shop. I saw the adorable babies in the window. “Let’s look at baby things for a minute.”
“Oh no.” The woman shook her head emphatically. “We need to get to that sale at Mother-to-Be. Right away.”
I was already drawn in by the babies in the window and was inside the store before I knew it. The others followed.
“Oh, look,” Joy Ruth squealed, at a tiny pair of white and pink lace shoes she’d picked up.
“I don’t think we should stop here. Let’s get going. I want to go to the other shop.” Dottie lingered near the door.
“Look at this,” my sister said, ignoring the woman’s pleas to leave, and held up a pair of tiny western boots.
“All right. We can look for just a minute. Though I don’t think we should shop for my baby today. I’d planned to do that another day. By myself. After all, this is Vada Faith’s day to get some new clothes. I’ll buy baby things myself. Remember,” she shook her blond shoulder length hair, “it’s my baby.” She emphasized the my.
“I know,” my sister said, smirking. By then the woman was going through baby clothes and before long she’d forgotten her reluctance to come into the store.
She chose a lullaby CD from a display and handed it to me. “Hold this for me, honey. I want to look at this racing stroller. I love racing strollers.”
I checked out the lullaby songs. This shop was giving me tha
t familiar nurturing feeling and I knew I needed to get out of there. I could see the other two women were occupied. I wouldn’t be getting to Mother-to-Be anytime soon.
My sister was in awe, her eyes taking in the tiny garments, the canopied cribs. It was a fantasy land for baby buffs.
“Where will you use a racing stroller?” I asked, wandering over to where Dottie stood, spinning the wheels on a stroller. “You live on a hill.”
“Don’t you remember,” she said, sweetly, but with a hard edge creeping into her voice, “we’re not staying here. We may move to California once the baby comes. I will have all the sidewalks in the world to stroll my baby.”
“Oh.” I walked away, thinking about her moving to California and taking the baby.
I looked through a rack of newborn sleepers and imagined the baby I carried in one of the delicate outfits.
“Just one thing,” I moved back to where Dottie stood and lowered my voice, “do you think we will stay friends after the baby comes? That I will see it if you move to California?”
“No. I don’t think so, dear.” For a moment she looked thoughtful. “But,” she said, brightening up, “you will have that big new house and I’ll have my precious little baby.”
“I know.” Somehow, the thought of a new house in Crystal Springs didn’t make me feel one bit better.
My sister was studying a display of wooden pull toys. I was sure she was eavesdropping or trying to, though I knew she loved seeing all the baby things.
“I want one of these.” The woman had changed the subject and held something up for me to see. “This is a Breast Friend.”
“A what?” I asked.
My sister rolled her eyes and looked from me to her. She opened her mouth to say something smart and I shook my head and shot her a dirty look. I didn’t want Dottie upset. That was all I needed. It didn’t take much these days.
“This is a breast-feeding pillow.” She demonstrated. “It frees your hand when you’re breast feeding.”
“Are you serious about breast feeding?” Joy Ruth stared at the feeding pillow. My sister didn’t miss a thing.
“Sure am. The woman at La Leche said I can breast feed for years if I want to. I have to start stimulating my nipples. I want to be ready when my baby arrives.”
“Did you hear that?” My twin whispered, grabbing my arm and pulling me aside.
Dottie had turned to look through some sleepers. “Stimulating her nipples,” she whispered. “What have you gotten yourself into? The woman is nuts. She wants to breast feed your baby. The one you are carrying in your own body right this minute. Are you going to let some strange woman breast feed your baby?”
“Be quiet or you can leave. We’re shopping for clothes. That’s what this trip is about. Clothes. For me. Not her nipples or breast feeding.”
“Who would want clothes under these circumstances.” My sister’s eyes were wide with shock.
“I do.” I was lying at that point but I didn’t want her to know. I was as disturbed as she was by the woman’s desire to breast feed the baby. It gave me a strange feeling inside.
Dottie bent down to examine the racing stroller again. “I’ll wait on buying this.” She was talking more to herself than anyone. “I saw one advertised from Yakima. It’s the Super Jogger. I’d rather have it.”
“Vada Faith?” Her eyes found me across the aisle. “Are you ready to go now?”
We were standing by the Winnie-the-Pooh stuff. I was beginning to get the warm and fuzzy feeling I get when I’m around babies. Not the healthiest feeling for me at that moment, carrying someone else’s child. I had to get out of that store.
“Oh, look at that cute mobile!” Dottie said, hurrying over. She reached past me to touch the fat Pooh Bear whirling around. “I’ve got to have that.” She took one of the boxes from the table.
She turned to me. “Do you believe in the family bed, honey?”
“The what?” I was thinking about the sweetness of a newborn. I was getting a headache too. Someone had opened a container of Johnson’s baby powder and the scent was overwhelming. My stomach didn’t feel too great either.
“Family bed?” My sister’s eyes popped open. She was all ears.
“You know. The family bed. It’s where the children sleep with the parents. They’re reared in your bed.”
“No!” Joy Ruth took a step backward.
“I never heard of it.” It sounded worse than sharing a bed with my twin growing up.
“It’s not healthy if you ask me,” my sister snapped.
“It’s something I learned on a mommy website, honey.” Her tone indicated she didn’t care what anyone else thought. “I’ve learned all about Lamaze and La Leche too. I joined Mommy’s On-line.” Her demeanor suddenly brightened. “I even picked my baby’s name off the web, one of those chat rooms. It will be Gracie for God’s Grace if it’s a girl and David for slaying the giant of infertility. If it’s a boy.”
I turned to follow my sister who was moving away from Dottie.
Suddenly I felt lightheaded and sank into a big padded rocking chair that stood by one of the cribs. “I’ll be right here when you two are ready to go.” A rack of white baptismal dresses had caught their attention and they were pulling one after the other out to examine.
I started feeling better after a minute or two. I really wanted to go but they were pawing through baby clothes as if they didn’t have another thing to do. My sister trotted behind the older woman from one display to another. She would look back at me and roll her eyes every few steps.
I’d have to hear all about this later. Jeez. Why couldn’t she have stayed home for once in her life and let me be my own person? Let me have a little fun. Yet, I had to admit this wasn’t turning out to be much fun.
When we finally left the store my sister carried a baby swing, I had an exersaucer, and Dottie carried a baby carrier.
After stowing the stuff in her car, we headed back into the mall.
“I think we should get something to eat. I’m starving.” My sister was scanning the place for a restaurant.
“Well, I’m not. I want to shop for clothes. You go ahead and eat. We’ll catch up with you later.” I headed toward the maternity store, hoping to feel better once I got inside.
“Forget it.” My sister hustled to catch up with me. “I’m coming with you.”
“I’m hungry too. Aren’t there any good restaurants in this town?” Dottie was scanning the mall, looking for a suitable restaurant.
“Let’s see what’s in here first.” I hurried ahead, checking out the maternity dresses on display in the shop window.
“Oh, all right.”
I could tell the woman was disappointed. I didn’t care. She’d had her way long enough.
Inside the shop, I went straight to the evening dresses. Something totally impractical. It was where I was always drawn when I was pregnant. I wanted to look special. Being pregnant always made me feel magical. Right now, all I was feeling was nauseous, but I was sure the magic would soon kick in.
“Why do you want a cocktail dress?” My sister fingered the midnight blue dress I was holding up to myself. In the mirror I looked like a queen with this sequined dress draped around me.
“Oh, this is perfect.” I carried it into the fitting room with her tailing me.
“I’ve never been able to afford anything like this before. Pregnant or not.”
“What do you think?” I twirled around in front of the mirror in the blue dress. Dottie was rummaging through some silk maternity slacks nearby.
“Get it,” she snapped, barely glancing up. I was shocked into silence. What was wrong with her?
“If it’ll make you happy, buy it.” She raised her head slightly and slipped on a pair of glasses. Her voice was a little softer. “My husband said buy whatever will make our girl happy. If that’s it, then get it.”
The woman was envious of me, I realized, as she turned away. Of course she would be. I must be dense. I carried her
husband’s child. It had never occurred to me how awful she must be feeling. I vowed to be more understanding and then it occurred to me that what she was feeling might be exactly what John Wasper was feeling too. My stomach churned.
“Just start a pile over here,” she said, curtly, pointing to the counter where a salesclerk was ringing up a sale.
“How about some stretch pants?” She held up a pair of green pants. “You can’t get enough stretch pants. Especially if you’re pregnant.” She sounded as if she knew that personally.
“They have seven colors,” she said. “Here. Take one of each.” She handed me the slacks. “These are size six.”
The shopping part was easier than I’d expected. It was becoming the only easy part of the whole thing.
“Vada Faith,” my sister poked her head through a rack of nightgowns. “Come and look at the nighties!”
“Those are too cute.” I went around to where she stood, holding up two nighties for me to see. “Not the one with the feathers, you goof ball. No feathers. I’m pregnant. Why do I need feathers?” I giggled.
“I’ll bet John Wasper would like a little feathers every now and then.”
“Lower your voice,” I said, under my breath, “And don’t pick up anything with feathers. Look.” I pulled a teal satin nightgown from the rack where I stood.
“This is perfect. I’ll take it.” I placed the nightgown on the counter as I made my way through the lingerie department. I wasn’t sure I wanted Dottie watching me pick out things I would wear in the privacy of my own bedroom. In front of my own husband. I wasn’t sure she should have come with us.
“Hello girls.” Roy Kilgore’s voice came from behind me. Smooth as silk. There he was. Close enough to touch.
How long had he been standing there in back of the lingerie section while we sorted through the undergarments?
“Hi.” My face was on fire. I had a handful of maternity bras and across the aisle my sister was waving a sheer black nightie at me.
“Roy?” His wife turned and raised an eyebrow. “What on earth are you doing here?” She was not happy to see him.
Vada Faith Page 14