by Maguire, Ily
“No, I’m not sad about that. I barely even knew Pike. Know Pike. I didn’t know Hara left the hospital. How come?”
“She and Pike thought she should leave. She left the day you did.”
“Why? She didn’t do anything wrong,” I say. Did she?
“I dunno,” Patience shrugs. “It’s probably just because she was your nurse.”
I wish I had known she left. I could’ve tried to get a note to my family. I should’ve thought of that before.
“I almost forgot,” Patience wipes her hand on her long skirt. She and her brother are the only ones never dressed in utilitarian clothes. Everyone else wears grey, black, or army green. Dusty and a bit tattered at the hem, Patience’s skirt is bright pink, orange, and black. A striking contrast to her ultra-white complexion.
“Forgot what? Something for me?”
“Here, this,” she pulls an envelope out of her pocket. It is crinkled and already opened.
“It’s from my sister, Dory.” I can tell by the handwriting addressed to me. I take it from Patience’s delicate hand. “Where did you get this?” If Hara isn’t at the hospital, how did Dory get this to me?
Patience shrugs.
I’m too anxious to bother with her. I read the note.
2, March
Dear Rose,
I hope this gets to you. I’ve got it on good authority that it will. I don’t know much about what’s really going on, but Dad’s telling everyone you ran away because of cold feet over your first AR, though I think he knows you were kidnapped. I don’t know that he’s entirely angry about it, but he won’t tell us anything else. What else does he know, Rose? Mom’s completely clueless as you’d expect, so she thinks you’re on a trip with Jenny. For some reason she’s gone, too, but no one’s looking for her. Dr. Rush keeps coming and going and the police have come once. Dad keeps mentioning the Imperial Bead, but I don’t know in reference to what. I think he’s trying to keep things quiet, until he figures everything out. He doesn’t want it to get that high up in the Imperial Bead. I don’t think he wants them looking for you. I don’t know much more than that. Just remain where you are, wherever you are, and stay safe. We miss you!
All my love,
Dory
I fold the letter and put it back in the envelope. March second. I visualize the tally marks I’ve made every morning on my wall with a piece of soft cement. Two weeks ago. Right after I left the hospital.
“How come I’m just getting this now?”
Patience shrugs again.
“I’m kind of tired. I think I’m going to go rest.” I lean down and pick up my notebook. I’m irritated. I need to go home. I don’t need to be here anymore.
As I get up, Patience puts her hand back in the water.
“They know you’re okay. Hara told someone before she left,” Patience tells me.
“Who?”
“I dunno,” Patience shrugs. It’s annoying.
Hara must’ve told Dory. But where was Dory and how did Hara get to her?
“Thank you,” I hold up the letter, “for this.” Patience is already back staring into the water. I can see the clouds above casting shadows, making her pale-white skin sallow.
She looks up at me and smiles.
I don’t wait to see if she shrugs again. I don’t care. I go back to my room.
Something about her unsettles me. I just can’t put my finger on it.
13
“I got a letter from my sister yesterday,” I tell Pike. I didn’t think I’d be so excited to see him, but I am. I’m happy to be around him. It’s the first time I’ve seen him in days.
“I have to leave this afternoon,” Pike responds. I don’t know if he heard me. “Tithonus was found dead.”
“What?” I gasp, covering my mouth.
“He was found hanging. A rope around his neck, dangling from a beam inside his house. Asphyxiation. They say it was suicide.” He rubs the back of his neck. His features are worn. The lines on his face that no twenty-year old should have are a bit deeper than before.
“Who says?” I want to comfort him in some way. I want to touch him.
“The Imperial Bead. The Police. Everyone.”
The police are controlled by the Imperial Bead.
“You don’t think so?” I say.
“No, of course not. He’d never be able to do it. He was too physically feeble. You saw him.”
“I did.” I think back to the sightless old man who saw my future, and his teeny tiny house. The way he hobbled across the floor and the cane.
“He could barely stand up straight,” Pike continues.
“Unless he had help,” I offer.
“Why would someone do that? Tithonus had a gift.”
“I don’t know,” I shrug. “Maybe he was sick. Or someone didn’t like the message he passed on or someone made him. Maybe people are finding out about you.” I wave my hand around to include Pike and everyone else.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Pike turns on me.
“Well, maybe more and more people are choosing not to artificially replace themselves. Maybe Tithonus was responsible for some of this. You’ve been calling it a cause, and maybe this is an effect.”
Pike glares at me like what I’m saying is blasphemous. He should feel proud.
I continue, “that could be a good thing if kept in the right circles. All these people staying human, staying real. But if it got out, maybe the Imperial Bead pressured him to keep quiet.”
“Maybe it’s why he was killed!” Pike snaps.
“Why are you angry with me?” It’s exhausting, this back and forth with Pike. I think I’d much rather he left me alone. What is Tithonus to him anyway?
“I’m sorry,” he states. “I’m leaving and I wanted to say bye.” He can’t bring himself to look at me.
“Where’re you going? When will you be back?” I don’t know what I feel or why I feel anything at all, but I don’t want him to leave. I take it back, I don’t want him to leave me alone.
“I dunno. A day. A few days, maybe.”
“Okay. Well, bye I guess. Be safe. Please.” I smile at him and step forward. He puts his hand out. I take it.
Bringing my hand up to his face, he pauses, reconsiders, and then puts it back down giving it a stern shake before leaving the room. From one corner of the common area I see Hara standing, staring.
I smile and she smiles back before walking off after Pike.
“Rose! Rose! I’ve got another one!” Patience almost runs into me in my doorway. “Another letter came for you.”
I turn my gaze from Pike to Patience.
In her hand is another white envelope, but this one is far less worn than the first. It must’ve just arrived. She hands it to me. I see the familiar handwriting.
“It’s from Dory,” I say, looking up. “Another one? How’d you get this?”
Again, Patience shrugs and smiles, then skips away. Her long skirt is different and is a bit more tattered than yesterday’s skirt, though just as bright.
I step back into my room, not worrying about closing the door behind me. There’d be too little light for reading this letter with an uncharged nightlight. My candle burnt out a week ago.
I lift the flap of the envelope and pull out the note. I can tell that it has already been folded and refolded numerous times.
15, March
Dear Rose,
I haven’t heard back from you, but I’m assured you are okay, and even better, you are healthy. I was worried that you could get sicker, but I’m told you aren’t getting any worse. I’ve found some things out from eavesdropping on Dad and Dr. Rush. They’re trying to keep the Imperial Bead out of this, but with you being gone so long, it’s more and more difficult. They want to keep you safe. They aren’t sure, though, how your genetic-type got to the hospital before you were admitted. Everyone seems to know there is something out of the ordinary with you. Something special, even though I have no idea what that is. I’m still work
ing on finding out all of that. I’d write more, but if this doesn’t get to you, I don’t want to get you or anyone helping you, in trouble. We all love you very much and miss you terribly.
XOXO Dory
I fold the letter back up and slide it beneath the thin mattress that is my cot. The first letter is still there. If I’m correct, this was written two days ago.
I want desperately to write her back, but I don’t know how much I can say. How much I should say. I think I’ll wait until Pike gets back and ask.
Before I get a chance to leave my room, I hear a scream outside. Blackout. The lights in the tower go out completely and I see Ezekiel and one of those guards from my first day rush by.
“Stay here,” he yells as he passes and hits something on the wall. My door automatically closes and locks. I’m stuck inside again.
14
“Tithonus isn’t dead.” Pike stands in my doorway. Even though it’s been unlocked for days, I haven’t wanted to come out. I haven’t needed to come out. I’ve got everything here that I need. Besides, a security scare had Ezekiel standing guard outside my room. Something about trespassers on the premises. They ended up being vagrants that are now interim members of the Aegis society. As far as I can tell, Ezekiel doesn’t trust them as much as everyone else and hasn’t slept since he posted guard. That’s all I’ve done – sleep. Maybe I should undergo some of JJ’s psychological tests.
“How do you know this? Did you see him?” I look past Pike, but as far as I can see, Hara isn’t there.
“I didn’t, but I hear he’s locked up somewhere. No one can get to him. No one knows where he is,” Pike answers.
“Do you know who has him?” I’ve swung my legs over the side of the bed, making room in case Pike wants to sit down. He doesn’t.
“We hope it isn’t the Beadledom. If they have him, we’ll never get him back, locked up in maximum security, under heavy guard,” Pike’s voice trails off. “But this might be worse if some other group got hold of him. Some other underground group that we haven’t heard about.”
“Then why would anyone say he was dead? I mean, it was a pretty elaborate death to falsify. If he was captured, why such a story?”
Pike shrugs. “Whoever has him must have their reasons.” He still stands in the doorway. Ezekiel comes over and puts his hand on Pike’s shoulder. Pike turns.
“–think someone may know we’re here–” Ezekiel whispers into Pike’s ear.
“Maybe,” I talk to myself, “someone made up Tithonus’s death to draw you out and then follow you back.” Neither Pike nor Ezekiel listens. They continue to whisper. Pike looks around and then down.
“Okay. I’ll go find out,” Pike says to Ezekiel. He turns to me, holding a candle that he pulled out of his cargo pants pocket. I get up and take it. He doesn’t say anything more before leaving. Ezekiel doesn’t go with him.
“JJ wants to see you,” His tone is chilly as usual.
“In the lab?” I refer to the space he created underground, where like Victor Frankenstein, his obsession for taking samples, monitoring rates, and analyzing successes and failures almost torments him, and therefore me, daily. JJ hooks me up, monitors my vitals, and then collects data. He hasn’t drawn anymore blood. I guess he got enough out of me the first time.
Ezekiel doesn’t react or respond.
“Uh, thank you.” I guess.
Ezekiel bows his head and when he looks up, his eyebrows are a little less narrow. His demeanor is a little less gruff. He stomps off in Pike’s direction. The only person who ever looks moderately relaxed is Patience and I’m curious as to why. She can’t be that simple.
I pull a clean army-green sweatshirt over my standard issue T-shirt. At least I have shower privileges three times a week. I won’t use the bed pan, but there is a common bathroom in the lobby of the building. It is relatively unregulated and private.
Passing through the common area, it’s very quiet. No one’s around. I walk past the fountain to the rear stairwell. I take the stairs down. At the bottom, the cement is covered with dirt.
“JJ? You wanted to see me?” I hold open the polyvinyl doors to the tent. The frame is aluminum. Against the back wall is a counter, and glass cabinets are above it, open. There is a centrifuge spinning something, the whirring sound absorbed by these inner dirt walls.
There is dampness in the air. Water runs down the walls not protected by plastic, eroding it. I hear a soft splash and I run across the room to the sink. The faucet is on and water is spilling over the counter, puddling mud on the ground. I shut it off.
“Leave it on, please,” Patience stands at the other end of the counter, behind a partition. She steps out from behind it, holding a graduated cylinder in her rubber-gloved hand. She is mixing something in a beaker. The contents of the cylinder are a dark purplish-red. A label says Serum R.
“Oh! Sorry,” I say surprised and turn the faucet back on to a drip. She must notice the plug in the drain.
“Can I help you with something, Rose?” Patience has on a long labcoat, and goggles shield her eyes. She titrates something after putting drops of something else into a capped glass jar. The something else has a skull on the label, though it is written in some foreign language I’ve never learned.
“Your brother wanted to see me,” I say. I’ve never been down here for anything like this. “What’re you doing?”
“He’s upstairs in his room,” Patience quickly answers, then goes back to stirring with a long, glass rod. This isn’t like her. Who is this person? “It’s room 26. Second floor,” she states before going back to the other end of the counter.
“I know,” I say. I try to make out what the writing on the jar says, even if it is in strange, foreign letters, but she blocks it from my view. I turn and walk back through the plastic and upstairs to the second floor balcony rooms. I look for 26. It’s at the top of the stairwell. I knock on JJ’s door.
“Come on in, Rose!” He calls and I open the door and enter. How’d he know it was me?
“Oh! This is a bad t-time,” I stutter. JJ is standing in a bright room in only undershorts. I’m caught off-guard. I avert my eyes.
“No. No, it’s fine. It’s a perfect time.”
“Ezekiel mentioned you wanted to see me, though he didn’t say when and I was downstairs with Patience. I can definitely come back.” I wait for his reaction. There is none.
I can’t look up at him. With clothes he looks small and scrawny. Bookish. Without them, it’s obvious that he works out. A lot. He’s a perfect physical specimen. It’s almost like he’s sculpted.
“Yeah, this is fine timing. I wanted to talk to you about a few things. A few of your tests.”
I rub my forearm. The IV alone caused more residual irritation than any of his previous tests of skin scraping, hair sampling, or cheek swabbing.
“The ones Hara was here for?” I ask.
“Yeah.” JJ laughs. “You’re cute.”
I ignore his comment. I’m not sure what he finds so funny. And Hara’s only been around once during all of the testing. She’s the only nurse. The only one qualified.
JJ grabs a folder on his bed and points for me to sit down. The bedspread is maroon with some gold accents here and there. He doesn’t grab for a shirt.
“Your body is amazing,” he says staring at me, not the folder.
“Excuse me?” I’m sitting on his bed, but considering getting up. I’m uncomfortable with the way he is looking at me.
“The way your body heals itself. It’s amazing.” He looks back at the folder. “Everything we tested for, everything we observed and recorded, your cells repair themselves at an unparalled rate. The whole battery of tests. It isn’t normal.”
“How about my liver?”
“It’s great. It’s been great. Whatever toxin you were exposed to is undetectable and I suspect would’ve killed a regular person. You’d never know you were sick.”
“So I’m going to be fine?”
“As far as I
can tell,” JJ sits on the bed beside me. “And as far as I can tell, you’ll be healthy for a very long time.” He takes my hands and stares at them, caressing them with his fingertips. His nails are clean and manicured. Trimmed and neat. Did he do that himself or did Patience do it for him?
I pull away. The way he stares at me, touches me, hungry and intent, gives me the chills. I rub the goosebumps away from my arms.
“There’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about.” JJ pats his hands on his legs. Then touches mine. His fingers dig into my thigh and I don’t move his hand or my own body. I should, but I don’t. I can’t seem to move. This is uncharted territory for me. I don’t know what to do.
JJ leans back on the bed. He rests his head on the wall and I notice the colorful tapestries. There is even a chair in the corner and a small bar with two stools closer to the center of the room. A glass chandelier hangs from the ceiling and it seems so out of place. He has more decorations than Pike’s, whose room looks like mine. This is the first time I’ve been to JJ’s room and only to Pike’s once to pick up a sweatshirt.
“About my results?” I focus.
He smiles. “About the opportunities.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Rose, the possibilities,” his voice almost a hiss.
“I’m not sure I like where this could be going.” I get up from the bed and head for the door. JJ jumps up, and prevents my exit, his arms block me from getting out. The cinderblock walls have been painted a light yellow and there are flecks of gold throughout. The walls match the bedspread and the tapestries.
“Where’re you going so fast?” He tries to lead me back to his bed. Everything about this situation has my head screaming no, but my body is reacting different than I would’ve expected. There’s no fight or flight response here. I have got to get a grip.
“We haven’t talked this over, yet, Rose. You don’t even know what you might be missing. Rose, you’re very special. You could do quite a bit of good with the right kind of direction. The right kind of management.”