by Kylie Walker
When they got to the ninth hole they were neck and neck. She lined up her shot and just before she took it he said, “Twenty-bucks says you miss.”
“Show me the money.” He grinned and pulled out his wallet and a twenty out of that.
“Show me yours,” he said.
“I don’t have twenty-bucks…but don’t worry, I won’t need it.” She started lining up the shot again and he said,
“Uh-huh, you have to put something up, what have you got?”
With a sigh she dug in her pockets. The search produced three dollars, two quarters and six nickels. “There, three dollars and eighty cents.”
“So if I win how will you pay the rest?”
“You’re not going to win.”
“But…If I do?”
“What do you want?”
He grinned again and let those light green eyes start at the top of her head and travel slowly down to her toes. His look was so intense it was almost as hot as if he was really touching her. She felt huge butterflies in her stomach and a raging fire in her core that sent hot blood racing through her veins. “How about a kiss?” he said.
“A kiss?”
“Yeah, you know that thing you do with your lips.” He ran his tongue in between the seam of his. He was killing her. “And your tongue…”
Her mouth was almost too dry to talk but she wasn’t about to let him know that. “It doesn’t matter; I’m not going to lose. Now be quiet so I can take my shot.”
He folded his arms and leaned back into the little fake tree behind him and watched her. She was looking down at her golf ball but just his presence was enough to cause her hands to shake as she pulled the club back and swung. She may have been shaking just a little too much. Her ball went flying past the ninth hole and jumped past the little house it was supposed to roll into. It hit a brick wall and bounced all the way back into the seventh hole. Conrad was laughing. She narrowed her eyes and looked up at him. “That’s your fault you know.”
“How is it my fault?”
“You distracted me.”
“Thinking about kissing me was too much?”
“No, you just kept flapping your lips while I was trying to line up my shot.”
“Speaking of lips…”
“Uh-uh, I haven’t lost yet. You need to take your shot.”
“The only way I could lose at this point is if my ball somehow ends up on the sixth hole.”
Folding her arms she said, “Shut up and swing.” Conrad lined up his shot and sunk the golf ball into the ninth hole. He turned back to her with a huge grin and opened his arms.
“Bring it in.”
Sam stalked toward him with the intention of smacking her lips to his and being done with it. As soon as Conrad had her in his arms though he let out a little primal sound that went straight through her. He pulled her up against his chest so tightly that she actually came up off of her toes and then he brought his mouth down to meet hers.
She felt the warm fan of his breath across her face before his mouth covered hers. His kiss was hungry and possessive. She parted her lips and let his tongue sweep inside of her mouth and tangle up wither own. Her belly was swirling wildly and a desire like nothing she’d ever felt before was flooding her system. She felt a sense of urgency. She wanted more, needed it. Her body melded into his and ached for the feel of it naked against hers again. When he pulled out of the kiss she was breathless and dizzy. She looked up at him and her euphoria was suddenly gone. Instead of holding a look of ecstasy like she felt hers was, his face looked guilty and sad. She took a step back away from him and heard him say her name as she turned and walked away. She knew that she was going to have to ride back to Pasadena with him, but she promised herself this was the last time she’d let Conrad get to her. He was playing with her emotions and it was pissing her off.
CHAPTER 22
Conrad woke up on Friday morning and seriously considered not getting out of bed. He didn’t have to work and he didn’t have to take Luke to the doctor. Aaron’s driving lessons weren’t urgent and the last thing he wanted was to have to look at Samantha. He’d screwed up badly and he knew it. He’d really taken her to Malibu with the idea of cheering her up and proving that they could still be friends in spite of what had happened between them. He never should have kissed her…but she’s so damned hot and he’d never wanted anyone as bad as he wanted her. Fuck!
He started to turn over and go back to sleep but then he pictured Aaron’s excited face and he thought about Jake. He remembered Jake’s first day of driving school. It had been a huge day for him. For an entire year he’d sat in the passenger seat everywhere they went and talked about how things would be different when he was old enough to drive and Conrad had to sit on the passenger side. Ever since they were babies all Jake had ever wanted to do was follow Conrad around and do what he did. He watched and imitated his brother’s every action. Conrad smiled at the memories and then thought of Aaron again. Everyone needed someone to look up to. Conrad had their father and Jake had him. Aaron has Luke now but with him being sick, it just wasn’t the same. There was no way he could stand this kid up, he just had to make sure he did a hell of a lot better by him than he had by his brother.
With a sigh that comes from feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, he rolled out of bed. He knew if he didn’t that the guilt over standing Aaron up and the depression from letting in the memories would just eat him up inside all day. After a quick shower he went out to find Beau sound asleep on the couch and Shawn in the kitchen making toast and coffee. Shawn looked up as he came into the kitchen. “Hey, does Luke have an appointment today?”
Conrad poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned into the counter. “No. I told Sam’s brother I’d take him to sign up for driving school.”
“Ah, driving school…I remember that. I gave my instructor a few new gray hairs. I think she only passed me to get rid of me.”
“And you still can’t drive.”
Shawn pulled the toast that had just popped up out with one hand and gestured at Conrad with his middle finger with the other. “So why you?”
“Why me what?”
“Why are you taking Sam’s brother? Why not Sam or Luke?”
Conrad shrugged and sipped his coffee. “I volunteered actually. I feel bad for the kid. He’s had a crappy life and he needs someone to show him there’s more to it than that.” Shawn glanced at Beau’s long, sleeping figure on the couch and back at his buttered toast. Conrad looked at him too, speaking of crappy lives. “Is he okay?”
Shawn sat down at the table and looked at Beau again before taking a bite of his toast. “As good as ever, I guess. The old man went after his mom last night and Beau stepped in. He said the old man wouldn’t hit him though and he just kept going after his mom. You know the old man loves beating on him. It must be a new kind of torture now that Beau is finally starting to fight back. Anyways, Beau finally punched him in the gut and he backed off and eventually passed out. Later on Beau went to sleep and woke up sometime after midnight to the sounds of his mom screaming and the bedroom door locked. He couldn’t get in and he thought the old man was killing his mother so he called the cops.”
Conrad raised an eyebrow. Beau never called the cops. They were one of those families that didn’t involve outsiders in what they referred to as family matters. “So did they arrest his father?”
Shawn snorted and said, “When they got there his mom told them it was just a misunderstanding and she wouldn’t press charges. Her face was all busted up so the cop told her it wasn’t her call. While they were hooking up the old man mom turned her venom on Beau. She told him he was the problem, the reason his father drank and was pissed off all the time. She called him a loser and told him she wished that she’d never had him.” Shawn shook his head. He was raised by a single mother who devoted her life to what he needed. Conrad knew that he couldn’t imagine any mother not wanting to protect her son.
With a sigh C
onrad said, “Fuck, what the hell is wrong with people?”
“I have no idea,” Shawn said. “I just wish the crazy ones would stop having kids.”
“Yeah, me too. Speaking of being raised by crazy people, I’m surprised Casey isn’t here. It seems like she’s been around almost every time Beau is lately.”
Shawn nodded. “She worked until closing at the bar this morning. She text him while we were still up around four, I think. Those two are getting awfully close.”
“Yeah, I’m afraid the way Casey cares about him is not exactly the same as the way he’s looking at her,” Conrad said. He suddenly had a headache as he wondered what kind of problems that would cause for Beau in the future. Sometimes it was all too much. He finished what was in his cup and then said, “Why are you up so early if you stayed up with him until four?”
“I have a breakfast date with my mom,” he said.
Conrad smiled. “Then why are you eating toast?”
“Because when she takes me out to breakfast she insists on paying. I don’t like to go in too hungry.”
Laughing, Conrad said, “Jesus we’re all a mess, aren’t we?”
“Yep.”
**
Conrad was secretly relieved when he got to Luke’s and saw that Sam’s Mustang was gone. The idea of seeing her always thrilled him, but the idea of looking her in the eye after yesterday made him slightly nauseated. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was messing with her head. It’s just so damned hard to be around her and keep his hands and lips to himself. If he could kick himself in the ass for crossing that line…again, he would. For now he was doing it mentally and adding it to the list of things he’d screwed up in his life over the past five years.
He let himself in the back door and found Aaron having breakfast in the kitchen. The thrilled look on the teenager’s face when he saw Conrad erased any doubts he had about following through with his promise. “Hey Aaron, where’s Luke?”
“Hey,” Aaron said with a grin. His smile fell though as he said, “Sammy tried to get him up for breakfast before she left for work but he was too tired. She told me to let him sleep.”
Conrad pulled his brows together. In the three years that he’d known Luke he’d never known him to sleep past seven a.m. Most days he was up by five whether he had work or not. The chemotherapy must be getting to him already. “I’m gonna look in on him and then I’ll be ready if you are,” he told Aaron.
Aaron grinned. “I’m ready.”
Conrad couldn’t help but smile at the boy’s enthusiasm. He left him there and went down the hall to Luke’s room. The door was open a crack but it was dark inside. He pushed it in gently and after his eyes adjusted to the darkness he could make out Luke’s form in the bed. He was lying on his side with his back to the door. He didn’t have a shirt on and Conrad noticed that he could almost count Luke’s ribs from across the room. He hadn’t noticed how much weight he lost and he wondered if it was the clothes Luke wore or if he’d just been that self-involved.
“Hey Luke,” he said in a loud whisper, not wanting to wake him if he’d gone back to sleep.
Luke stirred and groaned as he turned towards the door. Conrad saw him squint. “Yeah?”
“It’s Conrad. I’m sorry to bother you I just wanted to see if you needed anything before Aaron and I took off.”
Luke’s voice sounded strained as he said, “No, I’m good. You boys have fun.”
“You want me to bring you some breakfast?”
Luke grimaced. “No, thank you. My stomach is a little queasy this morning. Sam tried to force me to eat. That girl is as stubborn as a mule.”
Conrad chuckled. “I’m finding that out,” he said. “Luke, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” he pushed himself up against the headboard. “Come on in here where I can hear you better.”
Conrad moved into the room. When he got close to Luke he could see how pale he was and there was a slight sheen of sweat across his forehead although it wasn’t hot in the room at all. “You know what, it’s not important. I’ll let you go back to resting. I’m sorry I bothered you.”
“Knock that off. I know I look like shit. I feel like shit too. But none of that changes the fact that I still want to be a part of this family for as long as I can. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
Conrad breathed in a long, slow breath before saying, “It’s Sam.” Luke didn’t look surprised and he didn’t say anything. He waited for Conrad to go on. “Before I knew that she was your daughter, we were getting kind of close. I really liked her.”
“You don’t like her anymore now that you know she’s my kid?” Luke was smiling and Conrad knew him well enough to know he was trying to lighten the mood.
“No, that’s not it. I still like her. I just…shit, this is hard. I like her too much if you know what I mean.”
“Does she like you the way you like her?”
“I think so.”
“Then I’m not sure I’m getting the problem. You’re both adults and both single as far as I know.”
“She’s my step-sister.”
Luke chuckled. “Is that what the problem is?”
“It just feels…creepy.”
“Being with her feels creepy, or the idea of being with your step-sister?”
“Definitely not being with her. I enjoy her company…a lot. It’s the idea of it. You know I’ve never really been in a relationship, and I’ve never really wanted to be. But from the moment I met Sam I knew that the way I felt about her was different. I was already thinking about exploring that when I found out that you were her father. I guess it almost feels like karma.”
“Karma? You mean part of your punishment for your imaginary crimes?”
“I left Jake alone, Luke. I left him alone to die.”
“You left an eighteen year old young man downstairs in the same house you were in. If you had dropped him off there and left, what happened to him still wouldn’t be your fault. He was a legal adult. He made his own decision to take those pills. The outcome was horrible and tragic, but it was in no way your fault. And I’ve told you before; your mother’s death was not your fault either. She was depressed. She was devastated by the loss and she never got over it, but if Jake’s death was not your fault…and it wasn’t, then her death was not your fault either. So, long story short, karma has no reason to be out to get you. You cannot let what happened in your past leave a permanent stain on your future. Take it from a guy who knows from experience that you don’t always have the kind of time you think you do. Sometimes people you care about are taken away way too soon or you have to go yourself. Time is too precious to waste on a past that you can’t change. You miss the present and put a damper on the future.”
“You’re pretty smart for an old guy,” Conrad told him with a smile.
“I know. Now, go away and let this old guy get some rest.”
Conrad put his hand on Luke’s shoulder. “Okay, but you’re sure you don’t need anything before I go?”
“Not a thing. Thank you for taking Aaron.”
“No problem.” Conrad started to leave as Luke was getting comfortable again. That was when he noticed the clump of brown hair lying against the white sheet next to the pillow. Luke’s hair was falling out. He felt a lump in his throat and had to propel himself out the door before the tears welling up hit his eyes. Although he knew what was happening to Luke, the reality of his step-father’s situation hadn’t really hit him until that very moment, and it sucked…badly.
CHAPTER 23
Sam showed up for the race Saturday night slightly less enthusiastic than she normally was. Shawn had called her earlier in the week and she was excited about being there right up until the time tonight when it dawned on her she’d have to look Conrad in the eyes. She hadn’t seen him since Thursday afternoon. If she’ hadn’t had to ride home with him from Malibu that day she wouldn’t have. After he kissed her he got all weird and di
stant again. The hour and fifteen minute drive back to her car at the shop was silent and uncomfortable and the more her thoughts were allowed to stew the more pissed off she’d gotten at him. He couldn’t seem to make up his mind what he wanted, but instead of figuring it out on his own, he was sucking her into that chaos.
On Friday afternoon she’d gotten a call from Drew. They were all meeting at the Island that evening and Drew asked if she wanted to go. Sam told her she shouldn’t leave Luke. It was an excuse, but not really a lie. Luke hadn’t been doing well. He never got out of bed on Friday and by Friday night he was looking sallow and weaker than ever. She’d spent her Friday night watching him sleep or arguing with him about going to the doctor when he was awake. Saturday wasn’t much better and she’d almost passed on the race before Aaron volunteered to stay and keep an eye on Luke. She was reluctant to leave them but Aaron reminded her once again that he wasn’t five. She knew she had to start trusting him and letting him grow up or he’d just keep pushing and doing dangerous things to prove to her that she wasn’t in control of his life. Reluctantly she left the house, but driving elevated her mood, as usual and by the time she got to the race site she’d almost convinced herself that Conrad’s inability to get his shit together and figure out what he wanted or didn’t want was not her problem. She saw him as soon as she drove up and wished that her stomach didn’t do somersaults every time she looked at him. It didn’t matter how pissed off she was at him, she still wanted him and that made her angry with herself. The feelings were all so new…and so very raw.
She parked the Mustang and sucked in a deep breath before walking over to where he and Shawn and Beau stood looking under the hood of Beau’s car. “Hey guys, are you racing tonight, Beau?” He looked at Sam and she had to consciously make herself not wince when she saw his face. The bruises were old, but it still pained her to look at them.