Cissy gripped the glass tighter, the warmth of Dominic’s touch having faded. “Is it soon?” she asked, clarifying at Colt’s bewildered glance, “The next trip?”
“A couple weeks or so,” Colt said, running a hand through his blond hair. “In Atlanta. Not too bad of a drive.”
Cissy lifted her eyebrows and smirked as Colt took a swallow of Jen’s coffee. She’d driven down that road before. And “not too bad” wasn’t an accurate description.
“Some of the best bulls are supposed to be at this one,” Colt added. “Chaos, Slammer. Those jokers can break your back.”
Jen nudged Colt’s broad chest with her elbow, muttering, “That’s enough, Colt. You’re scaring her.”
Cissy followed Jen’s eyes to the death grip she held on the glass. She relaxed her hold and settled back in the chair.
“Why does he do it?” Cissy wondered out loud. “Why do any of you do it when it’s so dangerous?”
Colt grinned, a note of reverence coloring his tone. “Because it’s a hell of a ride. Nothing else like it.” He shrugged. “Some guys do it for fun. Some for money. Dom, well, he’s just wild himself. Been that way since the day I met him. Lives like a hellion.” He chuckled. “Like the damn sun’s burning out and won’t rise again.”
He sobered, dropping back into his seat. Cissy squirmed under his scrutiny.
“Though, I gotta say, he’s slowed down since I last saw him,” he said. “Never known him to hang around home for so long.”
Cissy’s stomach dropped. Which meant it wouldn’t be long before Dominic took off again. About two weeks, in fact. Her mind hung on that thought before snuffing it out and conjuring up Dominic’s words from last night.
I want it all, Cissy. I want everything.
Whatever Dominic saw in her was attractive enough to draw him to her. Make him feel she had something valuable to offer him. Maybe that’d be reason enough for him to stay.
“Aunt Cissy!” The door banged a couple of times, shattering the comfortable silence at the table.
“Aunt Cissy,” Kayden shouted, clutching a bundle at his middle and throwing himself into her arms. Jayden was hot on his heels, clambering up on Cissy’s lap to hang on to her other side.
“There they are,” Colt boomed, sexy smile and sunny disposition back on full blast. “Whatcha got there, man?”
Kayden pulled back and jerked his wrist out toward the floor. A long rope flicked out, knocking against the table leg and Jen’s foot. She let loose a squeal.
“Sorry, Miss Jen.” Kayden’s jubilant expression was anything but. “Mr. Logan found me a new rope. And it’s a long one, too.”
“Is that right?” Cissy ran a hand through the soft layers of his hair, breathing him in. He smelled of fresh air and sunshine. And dirt.
“And Pop took us fishin’ again down by the creek,” Jayden added.
“We got to ride in a canoe.” Kayden hastened to add, “We wore life persurvahs.”
“Preservers,” Cissy corrected.
Kayden shrugged. “Yeah, that.”
“And we used crickets instead of worms.” Jayden bounced on her left thigh, making her wince.
“And we roasted marshmallows.” Kayden flicked the rope again.
“And Kayden got in trouble because he—”
“Hush, Jayden. Aunt Cissy don’t want to hear all that.” Kayden wrapped his arm around her neck and gave her a peck on the cheek. He whispered in her ear, “Mr. Logan said I wasn’t bad. I asked him. He just said I was givin’ him a run for his money.” He pulled back, contemplating that. “You think he’s gonna give me some allowance?”
Cissy cringed despite the humor in the situation. At least the others got a kick out of it. Laughter was on all sides of the table.
She tugged the boys in and hugged them close. Last night’s fun aside, this was the highlight of her weekend. Having the boys here, healthy and happy. And she’d had a hand in that.
Her money pile had multiplied. She only needed two more weeks of wages to get her head fully above water. And she planned to use that money to start over and provide a safe, secure life for the boys.
How could she have forgotten that? Even for a second? She squeezed them tighter and kissed the tops of their heads.
“We missed you, Aunt Cissy.” Kayden snuggled back up to her ear, his voice soft. “You’ll go camping with us next time, won’t you?”
“Of course.”
“Good.” Kayden examined her face for a moment, then tucked his small hands around her neck and leaned against her. “I knew you’d still be here. We’re a team, right? Just like you said.”
Cissy’s heart clenched. She hadn’t realized his uncertainty ran so deep. How had she not seen it?
Heat washed over her face and chest. Cissy firmed her mouth. She hadn’t seen it because she’d been too concerned with her own uncertainties. Uncertainties that had seemed all consuming at the time but now held no weight.
Jason hadn’t been completely wrong about her running from things. She had been running—from her fear of not being strong enough or good enough for the boys, fear of not being able to love them the way they deserved to be loved.
But she did love. And her love was valuable. The boys treasured it. And Dominic had asked for it almost as though he’d known...
Cissy straightened. It was time to follow through with something she’d been avoiding for several months now. Even before Crystal’s death. She’d put it off long enough.
After breakfast, Cissy bustled the boys to her room and shooed them into the shower. They resisted, the long night of camping having left them tired and cranky. Eventually, they bargained for a bath instead. By that time, it no longer mattered. Just so long as it involved soap and water.
Jayden caught her wrist with a sudsy hand as she pushed up from the tub. “I told Kayden you’d still be here.”
The trust on his smiling, upturned face strengthened her resolve.
Leaving the bathroom door open a crack, she made her way over to the nightstand and picked up her cell phone. Her heart skipped a beat as she plopped onto the edge of the bed. Her gaze strayed around the room, snagging on the closed bedroom door.
Her body came to life, humming with remembered pleasure. Dominic wanted it all. He wanted her love. And she was discovering she wanted to give it to him. But there was no way she could do that without taking care of the boys first.
Dominic wasn’t the only one who wanted everything. Kayden and Jayden did, too. They had to take priority over everyone—she couldn’t imagine her life any other way. This was something she had to do. For her peace of mind. And, more important, for theirs. The boys needed to know they would be taken care of. And by whom.
Their delighted giggles drifted through the cracked door, punctuated by the splashes and squeaks of their bottoms scooting across the tub.
Cissy straightened and renewed her grip on the phone. No. She wouldn’t allow Kayden and Jayden to continue to worry about where they belonged any longer than necessary.
Scrolling through her contacts, she found Jason’s number and made the call.
* * *
DOMINIC EASED OFF DESTINY, speaking to the horse in soothing words as he untacked and settled her at the edge of the paddock. He paused for a moment and stroked the mare’s neck. It’d been ages since he’d enjoyed a good, relaxing ride. And Destiny had delivered. She’d definitely earned a good rubdown.
“You done with that hose yet?” Dominic asked, glancing over his shoulder.
“In a minute.”
Logan continued angling a spray of water over his horse’s back. He followed each pass with his hand, smoothing out any matted clumps with gentle rubs. White foam slid over Logan’s fingers with each pass.
The summer sun had beat down on them, causing the horses to sweat more than usual. The trail ride had gone smoothly. Only, Dominic had caught his mind drifting away from the chatter of the guests and lingering on thoughts of Cissy. How he’d rather be back at her sid
e.
Back at the main house.
His gentle strokes along Destiny’s back slowed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually wanted to be in Raintree’s main house. Or at home for this long, come to think of it.
Colt was right. He had spent a lot of time off the circuit. And he was afraid the longer he stayed away, the harder it’d be to go back.
Brushing aside the nagging thoughts, Dominic studied Logan’s movements. “You sure do baby him.”
Logan didn’t respond. Just kept up the methodical motions, rubbing out each sweat mark and making sure every strand of Lightning’s hair was refreshed.
Logan pulled out more slack on the hose and lowered the pressure to a gentle stream. Lightning tilted his head to the side right before Logan reached up and glided a light sheen of water over his eyes, taking care to clean his face. Contrary to most horses, this one seemed to enjoy it.
“You take him out a lot?” Dominic asked.
“Almost every day. Mainly on the trails.” Logan moved the spray to the horse’s back again.
“He’s gotten a lot calmer.”
“He’s always been calm.”
“Not always. Used to be, Amy was the only one that could—” Dominic snapped his mouth shut. He’d gotten too comfortable. Forgotten some things were off-limits.
Logan’s movements became jerky, sloshing the water in uneven patterns. His boots held a heavier tread on the ground when he stepped farther away and turned his back. Wasn’t hard to read the signs. Every inch of his frame screamed, Back off.
Dominic sighed, stroking Destiny’s back and weighing his options. It’d be easy to shrug this off. Give Logan his space and ignore the problem. He should just leave well enough alone.
Hell, he’d done exactly that for the past year. And before that, even. Kept a firm distance from his brother, his father and anything else that he couldn’t ride out in eight seconds or less.
And damned if that didn’t make it all the harder to bridge the gap.
Destiny’s head jerked with a snort. Seemed more like a warning than encouragement. Still, he had trouble letting it slide. One of the main reasons for his return home had been Logan. He’d missed his brother like hell. Missed being able to talk to him. The more successful Dominic’s rodeo career had become, the more his relationship with Logan had eroded. And at this point, there hadn’t been much left to lose between them.
Dominic swept his chin over his shoulder, flinging off any regrets, and faced his brother. “You heard from her lately?”
Logan maintained his bullheaded silence. Back rigid, still rubbing that horse down.
Well, damn. He was all in now. Might as well meet the stubborn son of a gun head-on.
“You know,” Dominic prodded. “Amy. Your wife.”
“What the hell, Dom?” Logan swung around and glared. He kept his voice low, no doubt for the benefit of the horses, but fury blackened every word. “What’d I tell you when you swept back in here?”
“Not to stir shit up,” Dominic recited.
“Right.” Logan turned away.
“That’s not how I see this, though.”
Logan snapped back around. “Well, how do you see it, then? Because the way I see it, you’ve been gone for more years put together than you’ve actually been here. So how the hell would you know anything about my life?”
“I know enough to see you’re not happy. Can’t be, not having Amy around. I also know it took two of y’all to get pregnant. You had a hand in that mistake as much as she did. And losing the baby wasn’t her fault any more than it was yours.”
Logan clenched his fists, chest rising on a sharp inhale. “I’m not discussing this with you.”
“Why?”
“It’s none of your business,” he snapped.
“Should be. You’re my brother. And Amy was more of a sister to me than any blood-born one could’ve been.”
“I told you. This is none of—”
“How’s it go, Logan? You ride Lightning every day? Treat him the way you should’ve treated her? Think if you love that horse of hers enough, she’ll just appear one day?”
“All right.” Logan flung the hose down, eyes flaring. “Long as we’re getting in each other’s business, let’s talk about Cissy.”
Dominic splayed his legs, digging his heels into the dirt. “Have at it.”
“You taking to playing at home now instead of on the road?”
Dominic winced. That dagger hit its mark. “Watch that, Logan. I’m beginning to hate that damn word.”
“What?” he mocked. “Playing? That’s what you do isn’t it? Play for a living? Play for fun? You haven’t had a serious relationship with a woman in your entire life,” Logan scoffed, chin jutting. He scuffed the ground with the toe of his boot. “Hell, you haven’t had a serious relationship with anyone in your life. You just grace people with your presence long enough to get a smile, then haul ass to the next interstate. Forget about responsibilities or duty.”
“And you’re definitely the expert at those things, aren’t you?” Dominic drawled. “Amy was a prime example. You only married her because she got pregnant. Followed through with your duty. Did pretty good until the occasion called for more than just fulfilling an obligation.” The bite in his words gnawed his gut as well as his tongue. But damned if he could muzzle them. “You weren’t the only one hurting. You had no right blaming her. And no right making her leave. So what if she didn’t live up to your damned high standards? I sure as hell never have.”
Logan’s face darkened, his body drawing tight as a bow. Dominic tensed. For a moment, he expected his brother to land a fist in his gut. And he couldn’t blame Logan. He deserved it.
He was beginning to think he should’ve just let it go. Not pushed or pried.
Logan hissed out a soft breath and dragged a hand over his face. The shadows hovering around his eyes deepened and spread, cloaking his entire body. He’d never looked so defeated. Or so alone. A stillborn baby and broken marriage had clearly taken its toll.
“I had good intentions toward Amy,” Logan said, his voice husky. “No matter what you think you know, I did have the right intentions.”
Dominic dropped his head. He wouldn’t meet Logan’s eyes. Couldn’t face the pain in them. “I never said otherwise.”
“I don’t want you to say anything, dammit. I want you to listen.” Logan’s boots scraped over the ground on his approach. “I had good intentions. The best. Fact is, intentions don’t always prosper. Sometimes the best intentions end up hurting the very ones you’re trying to protect.”
Dominic’s head jerked up. “Is that what you think’s going to happen with Cissy? Because that’s not the road I’m taking with her.”
“I’m just saying to tread carefully.”
“I have no plans to hurt Cissy.”
Logan laughed at that. Threw his head back and let the cynical chuckle taper off before peering at him again.
“The warning’s not for her, baby brother. It’s for you.” His tone turned serious. “There’s no guarantee on her end. She’s not one of these girls you’ve known. The ones you’ve played around with. And I’m telling you, you better not proceed if you’re not willing to follow through. Cissy’s a strong woman. Knows her own mind. And she’s not on her own, either.”
Dominic waved a hand in the air. “You can rest your principles on that, Logan. I’m well aware those boys hang on her hip, and I’ve taken to them. I don’t run screaming at the sight of kids.”
“No. You don’t. But you’re also not in the habit of running toward them. I’m telling you, I don’t see Cissy letting those boys take a backseat to anyone. And as long as I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you happy with anything but the driver’s seat.” Logan turned, gathering up Lightning’s lead. “She might not intend to hurt you. But if it came down to you or those boys, it’d take her a lot less than eight seconds to buck you off.”
Dominic’s limbs morphed into lead, pinning him
in place as Logan passed on his way to the stables.
“I know you.” Logan’s expression softened as he took him in. “That kind of fall would break you in two, Dom.”
Dominic struggled to find a rebuke, a defiant phrase or even a string of words that made a sentence. It proved impossible. His mouth ran dry, his tongue weak. Fears he didn’t know he harbored gripped his throat. Insecurities clamored through his frame.
Bye, Dominic. That damned memory of his mother returned. The last time he saw her. On the day she’d discarded him for another man and a richer life.
Dominic clenched his eyes shut. Figured that memory would choose this moment to rear its ugly head again.
He spun back to Destiny and stroked her neck with a shaky hand. Leave it to Logan. Hardheaded fool was always looking at the negative side of things. Not to mention, he had a knack for tossing his two cents into everyone’s corner.
Dominic shook his head. That was just Logan. Had a bad taste in his mouth and a broken heart. No blame could be laid there. It was what it was.
“He’s just hurting, girl,” he whispered, touching his forehead to Destiny’s neck.
The horse snorted once more before nuzzling Dominic’s arm.
“I know. About time for that cooldown, isn’t it?”
Dominic retrieved the hose and began rinsing Destiny’s legs, letting her get used to the spray. He shifted the hose from hand to hand and flexed his fingers. They still trembled.
A good man. That was what Cissy had said.
He rolled his shoulders, digging deeper into the task of cooling down the mare. Logan was right on one count. Cissy did know her own mind. And she’d settled it on who she thought he was.
But hell if he knew whether he could deliver. Or if he’d be enough.
Chapter Eight
“Come here.”
Cissy gripped her knees, doubled over with laughter and tried to calm the excited breaths bursting from her lips. She tossed her hair out of her face, glancing up at an equally giddy Dominic.
Twins for the Bull Rider Page 12