“Get some rest,” she murmured, smiling gently. “We have a busy night ahead of us.”
“Not yet. Teach me first.”
“Teach you what?”
“The right words to use tonight,” I said, determined to stand with my father and sister during the ceremony. “I want to ask the Goddess to accept Mom’s spirit with you. It’s important to me.”
Chandler watched me quietly for a moment before she finally nodded. “Okay.”
That night my sister and I stood on the bank of a large lake out behind The Manor, our hands clasped tightly together, dressed in white robes that touched the ground given to us by my grandmother just a couple of hours before. Our mother was beautiful, in a long white gown adorned in lace. She lay on top of an alter that was placed on a small wooden boat, surrounded by dozens of candles. Her hair was down, and a wreath of red and white roses was placed as a crown on her head. Her hands were crossed, and rested lightly on her chest. Her feet were bare, and pink polish glistened on her nails. Pink, her favorite color. She appeared so elegant and full of grace, almost ethereal, and my heart hurt as I watched my father light the candles around her. When they were all shining brightly, he pushed the boat out into the water, and it slowly drifted into the middle of the small lake.
My grandparents, Alyiah, and the group of kids that I had yet to meet, stood behind us. My grandmother was dressed in a white robe that matched ours, as was my father, but the rest were all in black. I could see several different weapons on each of them, and from what Chandler told me, it was their job to protect us until the ritual was complete. Since the ceremony took place at night, there was always the chance of it being interrupted by vampires. My grandmother was a High Sorceress, which meant she would participate in the ceremony. As far as I knew, no one suspected that I would also participate. They had given me a robe to wear out of respect for my mother. I had been practicing with my sister most of the day though, and I was ready.
My breath caught in my throat when my father stepped to the edge of the water. It was time. I removed a long, white candle from my robe with trembling fingers, and moved to stand beside him. My grandmother came to take her place beside me, and Chandler went to Dad’s other side. At precisely the same moment, we all held our candles high, and a flame appeared. I heard the collective gasp behind me, and knew it was because my candle lit with the others. I could feel my grandmother’s shock, but I ignored it all as I began to chant with my father and sister.
Goddess of Fire,
Goddess of Earth,
Goddess of Water,
Goddess of Air,
We call upon you,
The wind picked up and the water rippled in front of us. I swore I could feel the heartbeat of the earth beneath me as my bare feet sank down deeper into it. The flame of my candle grew higher, as did the ones on the boat with my mother. Raising my other hand, I flung my head back and continued,
Great Goddess above,
We ask for your mercy and compassion,
Your kindness and forgiveness,
Your daughter is in need of you,
My robe whipped around me, the flame on my candle flickering wildly. The ripples in the water became rough waves, and the earth beneath my feet began to tremble,
Take her spirit,
Lift it high,
Keep it with you,
To be reborn once again,
I could hardly see in front of me now. Everything was becoming a blur, but I stood my ground. My sister had warned me that something like this would happen. She said if I moved it could break the spell. If that happened, our mother might never be accepted by the Goddess.
We ask this of you,
Great Goddess above,
We give you Amelia,
Until we may see her again.
The ground shook, water covered my feet as the waves pushed it up onto the banks. My candle flared higher and higher, but still I held my ground, until suddenly it all stopped. The water gentled, the earth ceased trembling beneath my feet, the air stilled, and the flame on my candle extinguished. I held my breath. We were at the final point in the ritual. My mother would either be accepted, or she wouldn’t. Since she was not a part of our world, and had never had any magic to speak of, it could go either way.
I didn’t have to wait long. A soft mist dropped down, hovering over my mom out in the middle of the lake. It seemed to slide down over her, holding her close, and then it rose again and headed toward the heavens. Once it was gone, flames engulfed the boat, and then the water opened up and poured over it, taking what was left of it along with my mother’s body down to the lake’s bottom. It was over. The Goddess had accepted her.
Several days later I stood by the lake, looking out at the clear, still water. I felt so lost, unable to move on with my life, even though I knew that I needed to. Everything had been thrown at me so fast, that it was hard to comprehend what was happening. I had lived through a fight with rogue vampires, been reunited with my birth mother, and sent the spirit of the mother who raised me to the Goddess above, but it all still seemed so unreal. Even after almost a week where I did nothing but spend time by myself, I still did not want to accept it all. I continued to mourn the loss of my mom while Chandler spent her time getting to know everyone else at The Manor, and continuing her training with my father and grandmother. She said we needed to be prepared because it was now our job to protect the lives of the innocent. I didn’t want to train, and I did not care what my future held right now.
What I wanted was to be home with my friends, getting ready to cheer for the last football game in just a couple of hours. Putting on our makeup as we talked about boys, and whether or not there would be a party later. I wanted to wake up the next morning to the smell of bacon and eggs, and my mom’s voice hollering up to tell me it was time to get up and help clean the house. I wanted so many things, but unfortunately it didn’t matter what I wanted. I was stuck here, sidestepping the woman who I was afraid was hoping to step into my mom’s shoes, and ignoring the other kids in the house. My sister tried to tell me about them, but I refused to listen. I didn’t care who they were, or where they came from. Until now, I had stayed in my room the entire time, listening to an iPod someone let Chandler borrow, and wishing I could just go back to the way things used to be. Today was different, though. Something had drawn me out to the lake, and I was unable to resist its pull.
The water was calm, and just being near it somehow soothed me like nothing else had been able to since the funeral. Everyone else called it a ceremony, but I stubbornly continued to think of it in human terms, hoping that I could somehow keep some normalcy in my life. Crossing my arms, I swallowed hard and fought back the tears that threatened to escape. I wanted my mother back. I needed her with me. When one tear slipped free, I swiped at it angrily. Why was she taken from us? Why?
I felt her presence before she made it all of the way to where I stood, and stiffened when I heard her whisper, “Hi.”
A part of me wanted to stay silent, hoping she would turn around and leave again. Another part of me wanted to start a fight. To unleash the agony and anger that consumed me. I did neither. “Hi.”
She stood beside me for several minutes before she finally said, “My name’s Brielle. Brielle Compton.” When I didn’t respond, she continued hesitantly, “I’ve been here for just a little over a year now. I was twelve when my mother left. She couldn’t handle this world anymore. And I was fifteen when my father went missing. I didn’t have anywhere to go, so your grandparents took me in.”
I tried to remain quiet, but I couldn’t. Despite myself, I was intrigued with her story. “Your mother is human?” I asked quietly.
She nodded, her dark curls bobbing up and down as she said, “Yes.”
“Where is she now?”
Brielle shrugged, looking out over the water. “I have no idea. I tried to contact her when I couldn’t find my dad, but she wanted nothing to do with me. She said I was just like him, and that the demons c
ould have us both.”
I could hear the hurt and betrayal in her voice, and without thinking, I reached out and rested a hand lightly on her arm. “And your father?”
“We still don’t know where he is,” she whispered, “which means he’s probably dead.” Shaking her head, she glanced over at me, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I guess I just wanted you to know that you aren’t alone, Blayke. Everyone here at The Manor has a story just like mine. Some worse.”
Not sure how to respond, I turned back to the lake. The water out in the middle rippled lightly, and my breath caught in my throat. It was the last place I had seen my mom’s body. I think that was what drew me out here in the first place. It was a way to be closer to her somehow. I wanted to feel her near, even though I knew she was really gone and never coming back.
“A few of us are meeting in the basement after dinner to spar, if you would like to come?” Brielle offered. “Well, just Asher, Eben, and me. Dahlia is too young, and I think your sister is going out to the barn to practice some spells with Gwen.”
“I will think about it,” I said grudgingly, my gaze still on the water. I heard Brielle leave quietly, but my mind was already on my mother again. There were things I needed to tell her. Things she needed to know that I had never shared with her before.
“Mom,” I whispered softly, wiping at a tear that escaped before wrapping my arms tightly around my waist. “I miss you so much.” Inhaling deeply, I tilted my head back, looking up at the sky as more tears fell. Her spirit was up there with the Goddess now, so maybe she could hear me. I hoped so. “You’ve always been here for me, no matter what I needed. Even when you didn’t realize it. It is because of you that I am the person I am today. Every time I had to make a choice, I always asked myself, what would mom do? It was always you, Mom. I wanted to make you proud of me, because I was so proud of you.” Swiping at my wayward tears again, I went on, “I know I need to move on. I am a part of this new, terrifying world filled with demons and vampires, and who knows what else.” A shudder ran through my body. “Just saying that out loud makes me feel like I’m crazy. I know I’m not, though. I’ve seen so much these past few days. Things I never would have believed could be real.” Lowering my head, I stared out at the spot in the middle of the lake again. “I wish you were here to tell me what to do now. To help me through all of this.” There was no response, but I didn’t expect one. I just needed to tell her how I felt. “I love you, Mom.”
I stood by the lake until night began to fall. When the sun hid behind the clouds, I whispered goodbye to my mother, and turned to go. I stiffened when I saw someone standing by the house, watching me. I swallowed hard when I realized it was my dad, and slowly made my way up the small hill to him. I stopped a few feet away, unsure what to say.
“Hungry?” he asked quietly.
Taking a deep breath, I nodded. “Starving.”
Dad smiled, holding out a hand to me. I took a hesitant step in his direction, then another, and then I was in his arms. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said, holding me close. “It’s going to be okay.”
I couldn’t stop the sobs that shook my body as I clung to him. “I’m scared, Daddy,” I cried. “I don’t know what to do. Everyone expects so much from me, but I don’t know anything about this world.”
“That’s my fault,” he said gruffly. “I am so sorry, Blayke. I should have been training you years ago.”
“I understand,” I murmured, holding onto him tightly. “You and mom were hoping this time would never come, and now I’m wishing the same thing.”
“Well it’s here,” another voice interrupted, “and it is time to face it, whether you want to or not.” I looked over to see Alyiah standing in the shadows watching us, and anger began to fill me. “Look,” she went on, “I understand, Blayke. I do.”
“You understand nothing,” I spat.
“Blayke,” Dad muttered, stepping back from me, but keeping a firm hold on my elbow, “it’s time for dinner.”
I knew he was trying to distract me, but I was too upset. Yanking my arm from his grasp, I closed the distance between Alyiah and me, stopping just in front of her and placing my hands on my hips. “Until last week, I was Blayke Wynters,” I growled, my body shaking in fury. “I was a sophomore at Blue River High. A cheerleader, a dancer, and daughter of Daniel and Amelia Wynters. Sister of Chandler Wynters. I knew nothing about you, nothing about this hell you live in.”
“Blayke.” Even the warning note in Dad’s voice wasn’t enough to stop me. I had something to say, and Alyiah was going to listen, whether she wanted to or not.
“No! She needs to hear this,” I insisted. “She thinks she understands what I am going through. She has no idea!” Glaring at Alyiah, I snapped, “You want to know how I found out who I really was? Do you? Well let me tell you,” I sneered, unable to stop myself. “The dreams came first. Then the voices. I seriously thought I was going crazy.”
“Voices?” Alyiah asked in confusion.
“Yes! I could hear them everywhere. My friends’ thoughts, my mom’s, my dad’s.”
“What are you talking about, Blayke?”
I looked back at my dad. “I can hear what everyone is thinking,” I admitted. “I can’t control it. It comes and goes, but I heard yours at the dinner table the other night. You were worried. You were wondering if we should leave the next day instead of waiting until Monday.” I shrugged when he stared at me in shock. “I can’t help it.” Even though I had told him that night that I heard the thoughts of the vampires, he had either forgotten or thought it was just a slayer ability that was associated only with vampires.
“Hearing others’ thoughts is a very rare gift.”
My hands clenching tightly into fists, I turned to face Alyiah. “I wouldn’t exactly call it a gift.” When she didn’t answer, I went on, “Let me tell you how I received the Jackson mark. It was after a football game. I was all alone, and had no idea what was happening to me. Which was a good thing, because how would I have explained it to everyone? I was in so much pain, I blacked out in the girls locker room. If my sister hadn’t come to get me, I don’t know what I would have done.” When she tried to interrupt, I held up my hand, “The next day I find out that my parents, the people who I have called mom and dad for years, aren’t really my parents. And do we really want to talk about who I think my biological father is?”
“Blayke, no,” Alyiah gasped.
Shaking my head, I spat out, “And that night, the woman who had been there as my mother for the past ten years was killed. By vampires. Demons I had no idea really existed.” Inhaling deeply, I paused before I ground out, “Don’t tell me that you understand what I am going through, Alyiah, because you have no idea.”
Alyiah held her head high, but I could see the pain in her eyes. It took a moment for her to respond quietly, “You are right, Blayke. I obviously have no idea what you have been through, or what you are going through right now. I don’t know how you were raised, what you were told growing up. I know nothing about your life. What I do know, is that I have thought about you every single day since you left. You may have forgotten me, but not once did I ever forget you. I have always loved you, and I always will.”
Not waiting for a response, she slipped away into the dark, taking with her all of the pain I could feel radiating from her. I watched her go, the fight slowly leaving my body. A part of me knew I was punishing Alyiah for my mother’s death, even though it was not her fault. I was keeping her, along with everyone else, at a distance because of all of the anger I held inside. I honestly did not know if I could let it go. However, maybe if I couldn’t let it go, I could at least put it to good use.
My grandfather’s loud, booming voice reached me first. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs, one hand on the wall, and looked back up at the door to freedom. Was it too late to back out? I didn’t think anyone had seen me yet.
“Pull your foot back, Brielle. Now sweep!”
There was a loud
thump, and then I heard Brielle say weakly, “Give a girl some notice, Eben.”
A small grin slid over my lips at the other girl’s sassy comment, and then a giggle slipped free at Eben’s drawled response. “Show me a girl and I will.”
Brielle sprang to her feet, and just as quickly, caught Eben’s leg with hers, sweeping it out from under him and whooping loudly when he smacked hard onto the floor. Dahlia clapped her hands together in glee, laughter spilling from her lips, from where she sat across the room next to Asher.
Asher, the boy who had caught my attention since the very first time I saw him. I didn’t know what it was about him, but he was on my mind often. The moment I realized his gaze was pointed in my direction, I wiped the smile from my face, bowing my head in shame. I shouldn’t be laughing right now. It was too soon. Wasn’t it? I had never lost anyone before, so I had no idea how long someone was supposed to mourn the loss of a loved one. How long before it was acceptable to allow the pain to fade away? It was still there, but after the time I spent talking to my mom at the lake, my heart did not feel quite so heavy. The anger at Alyiah hadn’t lessened at all, though. If anything, it was growing.
“Blayke, I’m surprised to see you here,” my grandfather said, interrupting my thoughts.
I shrugged, looking over at Brielle. “I was invited.”
“Yes, you were,” Brielle said brightly, walking over to slip her arm through mine. Her eyes alight with mischief, she went on, “I was hoping you would come. Asher needs someone to spar with. Someone who can take him, because neither Eben nor I can.”
My cheeks flushed as my gaze met Asher’s, and then skidded away quickly. “Well,” I said softly, wincing at the confession that was about to emerge, “I won’t be much help, either. I’ve never been in a fight in my life.”
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