None of us knew this part of the tunnel system, but I had no fear of becoming lost. Kael’s instinct for the stone around and above him, combined with his study of the maps, meant that he led us unerringly to a familiar tunnel. When we passed a door to the wine cellar, Ish released his two guards. We scrambled around to find something to cover his head, and Tarn’s, eventually persuading Lenya out of her tunic and Hestaria her cloak.
Then there was the long, wearisome walk back through the tunnels. With two sightless members in the party, we shuffled along at the pace of a snail. Kael and Dern, leading the way, had to stop repeatedly for us to catch up. Lenya led Ish by the arm, but even so he bumped into one wall or another, or tripped over a rough spot on the floor, every few steps. He bore it all without complaint, or at least no more than a heavy sigh from time to time. Tarn and Hestaria, arm in arm, chatted constantly, with little shrieks from Hestaria and giggles from Tarn whenever either one stumbled. It was all terribly trying.
As we finally drew near to the Rillett House, I detected swords ahead of us, five of them, all sheathed, but accompanied by a worrying quantity of mail and armouring and daggers. Kestimar! I inhaled sharply, my heart racing. I didn’t want to meet that barbarian again.
I called the others together and explained. “Kestimar – must have tracked down our escape route.” Kael whimpered. “Dern, can you tell?”
He frowned, his eyes losing focus, then shook his head. “I cannot be sure it is him. There is anger – they are spoiling for a fight – but also bewilderment.”
“They think they have found how we come and go, but it is all bricked up.” And thank the Goddess we’d taken that precaution after we left. At least there was no danger of armed men bursting into the cellars and rampaging through the house. And we had two other ways in.
“Kael, we need to find our way to one of the other entrances. The one behind the wine racks.” It was further to go, but at least the route took us away from Kestimar’s sword.
Kael nodded, eyes gleaming in the dim light of Hestaria’s glow ball. He clutched Dern’s arm tightly with both hands.
Drin touched my arm, pointing to Ish and Tarn. “We should uncover these two. If it comes to a fight, they need to be able to run.”
“Good point. And you and Lenya guard our backs.”
Ish and Tarn emerged from their coverings only slightly dishevelled. We turned back the way we’d come. Now that we could move freely, Kael led us swiftly through a maze of passageways, driven by his own terror. None of us complained. Although we moved further from the house at first, I was still aware of the five swords not far away. Even though I knew in my mind that I could deal with Kestimar – as I already had – still fear clutched at my throat, and my breath rasped harshly.
It seemed an eternity before we came at last to the door, this time covered with solid grey stone slabs. Kael melted them away without difficulty, and we poured through the gap into a narrow space behind the wine racks, and out into the cellar.
It was lit up like brightmoon, and for a moment I was dazzled. Then a roar, and a huge, dark shape came hurtling towards me, and swept me off my feet.
“Gods, Fen, where have you been? I’ve been worried half to death!”
I had never been so pleased to see my great bear of a husband. Well, perhaps there had been one or two other times, but I confess it gave me a thrill to know that he’d been awaiting me so anxiously. How husbandly of him. I wondered if he’d been there the whole time I’d been gone, perhaps pacing back and forth, or running up the stairs to check the hour with the house controller. It was gratifying.
He set me down on the ground again, arms wrapped tight around me, and kissed me with a fierce passion that left me glowing and giggling.
“Are you all right?” he said, when we finally broke apart. “What took you so long?”
“We had to—”
I felt rather than saw the moment when he noticed Ish, for Mal twitched and then went rigid. “What the fuck is he doing here?”
It wasn’t a promising start.
Ish wanted to talk privately to me, but I wasn’t having that. I insisted on Mal being there, and also Losh, since he was the principal representative of Bennamore. Drin talked his way in, too.
Hestaria took Tarn away to find hot water and clean clothes, and I ordered Dern out of sight. Despite the fact that he was my brother, I had no idea where his true loyalty lay, and I didn’t trust him not to start manipulating our minds. He disappeared happily with Kael. Lenya said nothing, but I saw her signal to another mage guard, and they went back to the cellar, presumably to raise the alarm if Kestimar found a way in.
Ish had said almost nothing since we left the Water Tower, although he’d eyed Dern darkly from time to time. Now he calmly allowed the house controller, her face white with shock at his appearance, to brush the tunnel’s dust and cobwebs off him, and sat himself down in the best chair in Losh’s study. Losh’s chair, in fact.
I dragged over another comfortable chair for Losh, and a hard one for me, positioned on the other side of the desk. Mal set his own chair at the end of the desk, and, legs stretched out and arms folded, glowered at Ish. Drin settled on the window seat. The house controller fussed around us, setting out jugs of wine and bowls of sweet nuts, until she was satisfied that the proper protocols for the Holder had been met.
Ish did all the talking at first. He spoke well, as always, with both clarity and honesty, explaining the whole of the plan involving the Bennamorian ships, and the intent to force Convocation to accept him as their ruler, so that they could present a united front to Bennamore. He was open, too, about the night Kestimar had attacked us as we left the moon feast.
“That was not done on my orders, I assure you. I had no knowledge of it until afterwards.”
Losh hissed softly, but I waved him to silence. “Yet you have not punished him.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Because he is even now prowling around in the escape tunnels outside this house, with four of his men, all of them armed.”
Mal started and half rose. “What? Shall I…?”
“No, sit down. They cannot get in. We just have to be careful, now that they know about the tunnels. As you do, Honourable.”
He looked me in the eye, his face composed. “I shall tell no one, you know that.”
The blue flare around his head was unmistakable. Mal grunted, and I glanced at him and caught his eye. He’d seen it too.
“That is just as well, Honourable, for if I thought you would betray us, I would be obliged to kill you.”
There was a sudden silence, the tension palpable. Ish’s eyes widened as he watched me. Assessing, no doubt, not only whether I really meant it but whether I had the power to do it.
Then he laughed. “Fen! You were always so clever at that – saying the most outrageous things with a straight face.” He chuckled again, seemingly relaxed, but it sounded a little forced to me.
“Why are you telling us all this?” I reached for some nuts, but when they lay in my hand, my stomach rebelled, and I let them fall to the desk.
“You are not surprised. I think Nord told you much of it.” His lip curled in distaste. Yes, he would dislike any betrayal by one of his own advisors.
“Dern,” I said. “His name is Dern.”
Ish made an impatient gesture with one hand. “He has turned you against me, I think. I hoped he would help us, but now – well, it is done, and he has chosen. He has not been as useful as we would have liked, so perhaps it is for the best. But we should not be enemies, Fen. We should work together, for the good of Dristomar and Shannamar – the whole coast. You and I – if we are united, think what we might accomplish.”
Yes, indeed. Think what we might have accomplished, if only… For an instant, I softened. He leaned towards me, his eyes filled with affection, and a half-smile teasing the edge of his mouth, that gentle mouth that I loved. I forgot the others in the room, forgot almost everything but those eyes, th
at mouth, his melodic voice, the hair softly flowing to his shoulders.
There was a huffing sound from my right. Mal drew his legs in and straightened his back. “So what are you going to do about Kestimar?” As an afterthought, he added, “Honourable.”
Ish’s face fell instantly into annoyance. “That is for me to determine.”
Another, lighter, blue flare. That was interesting.
Thank the Goddess for Mal. He brought me back to reality again. “It is a good question,” I said. “The man tried to kill us, locked up the Moon Holder and sent men to kill her! The Moon Holder! You cannot allow such a man to go unpunished.”
Anger flared in Ish’s eyes, but he exhaled sharply and brought himself under control. “It is not as simple as that,” he said stiffly.
“Why not?” I said. “You are the Holder, you command all the Defenders.”
“He is my wife’s personal guard.” He shifted on his seat. I don’t think I’d ever seen him so uncomfortable. “He answers to her, not to me.” To my shock, that was true.
“What? But you are the Holder, you command everyone at the Hold. Goddess, Ish, you command everyone in Dristomar! Yet you let this man do as he pleases, even murder. It is not acceptable!”
I was on my feet, righteous anger boiling through me. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. He jumped up too, hands out placatingly.
“Now, Fen, do not take that attitude. I have to consider my wife’s feelings in the matter.”
“Your wife’s feelings? Are you insane? You would set your wife above the law?”
His face was white, but he would not surrender the point. “It is – complicated, Fen. She is not from the coast, her ways are different. I have to make allowances.”
I was too angry to speak. I stomped across to the window, where Drin leapt out of my way, then leapt again when I stomped back to the door and swung it open.
“You had better go, Honourable. We cannot talk further until you are prepared to deal with Kestimar. And your wife.”
“You forget yourself, Fen,” he muttered, fists clenched. “But I can see you are too upset for rational discussion. Perhaps when you have calmed down you will see how both Shannamar and Dristomar will benefit if we join forces. We have so many common interests, as you know better than anyone. Will you think about it? For I should like you to be at the Hold during Convocation. I should love to have your advice, Fen.”
“I shall not enter the Hold while Kestimar is there.”
A long pause. Then he brushed a small speck of dust from one sleeve. “As you wish. I should like to return to the Hold now, if you please.”
“By all means. The door to the courtyard is just along the passage here.”
His eyes widened. “You will not let me use your tunnels?”
“And risk bumping into Kestimar and his thugs? I think not. There are scores of your Defenders outside the gates who would be happy to escort you home.”
He nodded acceptance, but his lips were thin lines of vexation. Back straight, head high, he walked out of the door. After some murmurings with the house controller, who loitered close by, I heard the front door open and then close again.
Drin crowed with delight. Losh merely reached for the wine and poured himself a large glass.
Mal swept me into his arms with a shriek. “Gods, Fen, that was magnificent!”
I pushed him away. “Yes, yes. But I’m tired and filthy and I never want to go down into those tunnels ever again. I’m going to find some clean clothes.”
I trod wearily up the stairs. Somehow it didn’t surprise me when Mal followed me, capering excitedly round me like a puppy.
But when we reached the bedroom, he sobered up and said quietly, “You should have something to eat. You’ve missed two meals.”
“Not hungry.” I carried on rummaging through drawers for clean clothes.
“At least go to bed for a while. You must be exhausted.”
“I’m fine.”
In two strides he was across the room, pulling me towards him. “No, you’re not fine.” He cupped my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “Fen, you’ve carried the burden of all this for the Gods only know how long, and you’ve done it wonderfully, but it’s too much for you. You’re not eating properly, you sleep too much or not at all, you’re far too pale – even for you. You have to take care of yourself.”
I was too tired even to argue with him. I’d been all fired up with Ish, but now that it was over, I was drained, my legs shaking. I clung to Mal as if he was my rock in a shipwreck. He enfolded me in his arms and held me, not saying a word. He was such a comfort to me.
After a long time, he said, “Food or bed?” as if there were no other possible choices.
I thought about food, realising that he was right, I’d missed morning table and noon table. I should be starving, but my stomach was roiling, as it often did these days.
“Bed,” I said. “But only if you come too. Make love to me, husband.”
I saw the hesitation in his eyes. How humiliating, that my own husband didn’t want sex with me.
“Fen…” His voice was gentle. “If that’s what you want, then of course. But only if you want. I hate it when you’re not fired up. It makes me feel sordid, as if I’m treating you like a whore. And especially lately, when you’re so – so ill. It doesn’t feel right to me at all. So you decide.”
“And if I want to, then you will?”
He nodded. He helped me undress, and as soon as the jade belt came off I wilted like a moonrose past its blooming. It was as much as I could manage to crawl into bed and lay my head on the pillow. I was asleep instantly. I don’t know whether he even came to bed, for when I woke he was gone.
~~~~~
The Convocation fleet arrived on the next darkmoon, in its usual spectacular style. All the lights around the harbour were doused at dusk, apart from the light towers. Then, as soon as the Hold bells sounded midnight, great bonfires were lit at either side of the harbour entrance to guide all the visiting ships. They sailed majestically in, line astern, identification lights blazing at the prow, and were towed into position along three long pontoons.
Shannamar was the first to appear, of course, and my heart jumped a little with pride to see it there at the head of the line, as always, first and greatest of the port Holdings. Dristomar was next, eliciting a big cheer from the crowd, and Dellonar was right behind, a newcomer in age but almost as important now by virtue of its industry. The three Greater Holdings. Then the others in order of importance, drawing up to one of the three pontoons according to which orbit they were aligned with. Shannamar’s boasted the longest line, having the most Holdings in its orbit.
Half the town turned out to watch the show, naturally, the black town folk crowding noisily onto the beach and the merchants and shopkeepers and craftspeople more decorously along the harbour wall and the sea wall. Mal and I were amongst them, jostled by the crowd, overheated by the impromptu bonfires that sprang up all around the harbour’s edge, our noses assaulted by wafts of roasting meat. My stomach had been more settled lately and I was hungry, so we bought flame-charred meat on sticks. While we ate, I identified each ship as it passed into view.
It was the first time in an age that we’d been outdoors without having to sneak through the tunnels first. The day after Ish’s visit, our besieging army of Defenders disappeared leaving us bemused, if pleased. Within an hour, notice came from the Hold that our house arrest had been rescinded.
“It’s a trap,” Mal had said darkly, but for once I wasn’t concerned. Our freedom meant that we no longer had to come and go underground, and risk meeting Kestimar and his thugs in the confines of the tunnels.
The wealthier townsfolk had quickly discovered that the mages were available again, and queues of hopeful customers appeared at the gate. From having nothing to occupy us, suddenly we were working every hour of the day.
After a few nervous days, we decided it was safe to release Arin’s Sea Defenders fr
om their guard duty, and then everything felt normal again. The return to routine was good for me, I think, for I felt less tired and I was at last sleeping and eating properly. Mal even reduced his anxious enquiries about my health to no more than a dozen or two times a day.
That was a good night. We sat on some empty fish boxes on the harbour wall, Mal’s cloak and my coat discarded in the heat of so many bonfires, chewing our half-burned meat, as the last ship of the aligned Holdings – Carrinshar – was tied up at Dristomar’s pontoon. Behind it, only a small number of independents, who docked on a small pontoon to one side.
It felt so strange to be amongst the crowds watching, and here, of all places. Many times I’d watched the Convocation fleet arrive at Shannamar from one of the towers at the Hold, for my mother would never allow me to go down and mingle with the townsfolk. Just once I’d gone to Convocation myself, which was at Dellonar that year. I stood on the Shannamar flag ship in the midst of all the ceremony, the Sea Defenders lined up on deck, my father in his chair watching everything and muttering, “Dellonar is sloppy, there, do you see?” And I would look to the impeccable lines of our own sailors and smile with pride.
I didn’t attend Convocation itself – I was too young, my father said – but it was thrilling to be there, to be part of the ceremonial. I’d loved that moment, standing beside my father’s chair, knowing that one day I would take his place and perhaps, a long way in the future, teach my own Designated Heir the proper way for a Holder to act.
That was a long, long time ago. A lifetime ago.
Yet I wasn’t resentful. I was calm and even, in an odd way, contented now with the life I’d chosen. The anger that had been coiled inside me for twenty years, corroding me and creating an insuperable barrier against the world – that was gone. I didn’t know how or why, but I was different.
Maybe it was Mal who’d made the difference, burrowing under my skin like an annoying sand fly that I just hadn’t been able to swat away. I’d started by disliking everything about him, but he’d been kind and generous and I’d grown to like him. It wasn’t love, but it was a kind of friendship and I’d miss him when our marriage came to an end.
The Mages of Bennamore Page 41