She would see them pulling that sheet over his pale body every day for the rest of her life. Oh Ricky, she thought where is the good here? I’m not seeing it. She thought of how he’d laughed when Steven was being carried in a very non-co-operative way at the park.
Steven. He’d been so good to her. In any way she could think right now. She closed her eyes and rolled her shoulders trying to relax. She couldn’t dwell on him. If she did she would call him or go see him and she had to find a way to fill this void inside her now and she needed to do that on her own.
Sighing, she put the candle out and went to her room. She just wanted to sleep through this pain.
She’d already turned off her phone and her cell phone, she’d locked the doors and made sure no windows were unlatched.
My whole world changed when that little boy closed his eyes, she thought just before the exhaustion grief brought finally forced her to accept sleep.
Chapter 16
“Did she answer the door?” Steven dropped back into the chair of his office.
“No. She’s there though; I watched her move around in the kitchen after she’d just ignored me knocking on the door.”
“Fuck! She won’t answer the phone or messages either.” He tossed his pen across the room, because he needed to throw something.
“It’s only been a day,” Dade said quietly.
“Yeah. Have Cora let me know if she goes into work tomorrow. I have about a million favors to repay here after taking four days off.” He rubbed his aching eyes.
“I’ll tell her. We’ll keep an eye on her while you’re busy.”
“Thanks. I’ve been keeping an eye out here for someone to come and get Ricky’s stuff. Maybe I can catch Connie and talk to her.”
“Keep us posted if you find out anything.”
“Will do. Later.” His beeper went off as he hung up. Sighing, he got up and went to find out who needed him now.
*
Steven glanced at the clock. He was out of here. He paused at the desk and looked over to where Ricky’s books and toys had been. They were gone. He turned to the nurse. “Who picked up the boys stuff?”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure but it was still here ten minutes ago.”
Steven nodded and walked quickly towards the exit. He rounded the corner to the parking area and came to an abrupt halt. A man was walking beside Rachel; his hand was on her lower back guiding her towards the car.
He stood there with his heart in his throat. When she reached the car and turned, she was smiling. It was a real smile. She reached up and grabbed the man and kissed him. Steven put his hand over his heart and stood there like that as she hugged the man before getting in her car.
He didn’t look at the man walking away, he just watched Rachel pull out of the parking lot and drive down the street. *
He forgot he hadn’t slept. He forgot where he’d been heading. When he found himself sitting in car in Dade’s driveway he didn’t remember driving there. Why did she kiss that man? She’s smiled at that man.
The door opened. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you were stalking me. You getting out? You’ve been sitting here for fifteen minutes. Doc?” Dade stuck his head in. “Hey!”
Steven turned and looked at him trying to focus. “What?”
Dade watched him as he got out of the car and walked away leaving the door open. Shaking his head, he closed the door and followed him into the house. “Did I miss something?” he asked watching Steven get a beer out of his fridge and walk by him.
Steven dropped down onto the couch. “Rachel.”
“Okay.” Dade said sitting on the table in front of him. Steven sat in front of him with a look he couldn’t figure out. “Now you’re just freaking me out.”
Steven took a drink of the beer and then shook his head. “She came and picked up Ricky’s stuff.”
“And?”
“I ran to catch her... some man... she smiled and grabbed his face and kissed him.”
“Oh.”
Steven waved the bottle around. “His hand was almost on her ass.”
“Oh. Well.” Dade stood up and went and grabbed his own beer. When he came back he noticed the Doc still had that stupefied look on his face. “So did you ask who it was?”
Steven focused on him and frowned. “She left.”
“You didn’t talk to her?” Dade sat down and got comfortable, knowing, just knowing this was going to be one of those discussions.
Steven waved the bottle around again. “She wanted time, so I walked away to give her time.” He took a drink. “Just walked away. I’ve been losing my fucking mind trying to reach her and she’s kissing some other man.” He took another drink. “Fuck!”
Oh good, Dade thought, blank rambling I don’t do, pissed off I can handle. At least he hoped he could if Doc started shaking his house. “I think you should talk to her.”
“What?” Steven leaned back. “What? She’s spent the last three weeks telling me how much she doesn’t want to have a relationship, usually just before we’re all over each other...” He scowled at the floor. “Fuck!”
Dade rubbed a hand over his face. “So, what are you going to do?”
Steven studied the bottle in his hand for a long minute before taking a drink. “Nothing.”
Dade’s eyes widened. Well that was first. No threat of pounding the other guy or dragging the woman away. “Nothing?”
“Exactly.” Steven set the bottle on the table and got up. “Thanks. I’m going home to try and sleep.”
Dade lifted the bottle. “Oh anytime, bro.” After the door closed he shook his head. He didn’t need to take drugs he had friends to create the completely lost, floating, don’tknow-what’s-happening feeling in his life. Grinning he drank his beer then went to call Cora, at least he had someone to hash it out with.
*
“What?” Cora gasped into the phone. “Nothing?”
“That’s what he said.”
“How does that help? What if the man was a friend or something and had heard about Ricky and was offering his condolences? How is doing nothing going to clear up a misunderstanding?”
Dade shrugged to no one. “I dunno, Honey. I was hoping your female mind had the answers.”
“Dade, the ancestors themselves couldn’t figure out the logic in this!”
Dade laughed. “Good to know I’m not confused alone for a change.”
Cora sighed. “I can’t even talk to her about this without telling her it came from you because she doesn’t know you’ve known what she didn’t want anyone to know from the start. Does she?”
“Hang on.” He closed his eyes running that through his brain. “No. She doesn’t know I know.”
She sighed again. “Oh Dade, what do we do?”
His eyes popped open. “We? How did I get involved here?”
“You’ve been involved from the beginning. Who was it that lied about an all night event at the temple to give them time?”
He frowned into the phone. “Fine, I’m involved. But I don’t know what to do.”
“Neither do I.”
He leaned forward. “So we’re going to...”
“I’ll keep an eye on Rachel at work and see where she’s at, you handle Steven.”
“Okay. Handle him how?”
“Aren’t you paying attention, Dade Jones?”
He rolled his eyes “Honey, I’m paying attention. It’s not my fault that anything anyone says today is so screwed up I don’t know what they’re saying.”
“Poor Dade, all this emotional love stuff is messing him up.”
“Cute.”
“Okay, you keep an eye on Steven and see if you can get him to talk to her.”
“Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?”
“I thought I did.”
He shook his head and searched for a new topic that didn’t leave him fuzzy. “How’s your side, Honey?”
“Good I can stretch and wiggle and bend...”
He closed his eyes and smiled. “Now there are some images.”
“You behave.”
“I always behave.”
“Oh really? The night I had to stay with you to cover up your lie, asking me to lift my shirt was behaving?”
“I had a weak moment, Coralee,” he said softly. “The night you danced and... well you can’t blame a guy for trying.”
“Say good bye, Dade.”
He grinned into the phone. “Good bye, Honey.”
He picked up his bottle only to realize it was empty. So plan of action, give Doc a few days to stew then go piss him off enough to go see Rachel. Or worry, making him worry would work too. He nodded to himself.
*
Steven hadn’t had time to focus on Rachel, had barely had time to focus on focusing. A lovely virus came to town and he was sure every person under the age of fifteen contracted it. One of those change-of-season viruses that no matter what you did always showed up and sticking with the unwritten law, it showed up just before school was to start up again.
Which meant every parent who was counting the hours until the first day was panicking and bringing their sick ones in, hoping for them to be well enough to start school.
Not to mention those last minute parents that knew several months ago their children would need their immunization before September, yet still waited until the week before school to bring them in.
His appointment book was full, beyond full. He had to admit a few younger ones just weren’t bouncing back. He wasn’t sure where all these children came from. Was the town that large? The waiting room to the clinic was packed when he arrived each day to do his shift.
He’d checked his records to see how many women would be delivering in the next week and almost cheered to see only one, well maybe two were due in that time.
Of course that didn’t include the ones who were traveling, why would a woman go on a three thousand mile trip with her due date a few weeks away was beyond him. Then there were always the ones that decided to deliver while their own doctor was on vacation.
He almost ran to his office to do a little happy dance, okay, an exhausted happy dance, the waiting area was empty. Opening the door he stopped and looked at Dade sprawled in one of his chairs. “Well you’re too old for me to take you on, unless you think you’re pregnant and then I’m sure we can set something up.”
“You’re in a happy mood.” Dade grinned at him.
“Oh no, this isn’t happy. This is exhausted, to the point of giddy.” He dropped down in his chair and leaned back. Closing his eyes he let out a relaxing breath. “Tell me, how many hours until eight o’clock gets here?”
“Almost three.”
“Three hours,” Steven sighed. “I’m at the bottom end of a double here and three hours better fly.”
“So back to pregnancy, has Leena been in yet?”
He shook his head gently. “No she felt mercy for me and is waiting until the rush is over.”
Dade grinned. “So how’s that gonna feel having Owen standing over you scowling while you examine his woman?”
Steven sighed. “Only you would go there.” He shrugged. “Unless something turns up with a few routine tests, I don’t really need to do full exams, just weight them, measure the growth and I’ll leave Owen for Leena to handle.”
Dade chuckled. “Have you eaten recently?”
Steven opened one eye and looked at him. “You have food?”
Dade held up a bag. “I stopped by to check on Cora and she’d been playing in the kitchen, so I wheedled enough for two.”
Steven sat up. “I would drop to your feet and kiss them, but I might never get up.” He held out his hands flexing them towards him. “Gimme.”
Dade handed him the bag with a grin. “Guess Cora will be pleased to know it went to a begging doctor.” He watched Steven pull things out and set them on the desk. “She’s really worried.”
Steven opened a container. “Who?”
“Cora.”
Steven reached and grabbed a fork from a drawer and handed Dade one. “About?” He wasn’t sure what it was but it smelled like something he could eat all of and still want more.
“Rachel, there’s something not right with her.”
He glanced up but kept shoveling it in. Between bites he mumbled. “Not right how?”
Dade picked up a container and took a bite. “She doesn’t call anyone. Barely speaks at work.” He paused and took another bite. “Cora’s afraid she’s repressed all this and is sinking into a depression or something.”
“Hmm.” He took another bite and swallowed it quickly. “It’s not uncommon.” He took a few more bites. “She been eating? Going out?”
Dade shrugged. “I’m not sure, she turned down girl’s night though and according to Kasey she hasn’t even been to the community center once.”
Steven sat back and looked at the container in his hand. Setting it down, he spun and grabbed two bottles of water. “Did she go back to Owen’s?” he asked between sips.
Dade took a drink then grabbed another container. “No.”
Steven raised his eyebrows. “How’s she getting to and from work?”
“Cora’s still picking her up. Kasey’s been picking up Leena for a change of pace. They keep switching it up, you know so if they’re being watched they’re not being too predictable.”
Steven set the water down and sat back. “But if Rachel’s going home alone every night, that’s pretty predictable.”
Dade nodded as he took a bite.
Steven squeezed the bridge of his nose sighing. “Why didn’t she go back to Owen’s?”
“Said she wanted time and she didn’t care, well her words were she didn’t give a fuck if someone was watching her.” Dade shrugged.
Steven sighed and rubbed his face. “Tell Cora as soon as I get a chance to get out of here and take a damn nap, I’ll see if I can talk to her.”
Dade nodded taking another bite. “Will do.”
Steven grinned. “And thanks for the food, although now that I’ve sat and eaten something I could just curl up here and go to sleep.” His beeper went off.
Dade grinned. “No rest for the wicked.”
Steven grimaced.
*
Steven stared at the phone and then finally picked it up and dialed. It rang at least five times. He was just going to hang up when she answered.
“Oh good your there, I’m far too tired to get up and drive over.”
“Hey, Doc, how goes the back to school rush?”
He grinned. Of course she’d realize. “I think they’re shipping in kids from across the country just to run me into the ground.” He closed his eyes. “Sorry I haven’t called.”
“I understood when I realized which week it was.” She laughed. “Remember last year we found you sleeping behind Dade’s couch when the rush was over.”
He groaned. “And took pictures of the poor exhausted doctor just wanting to nap for a half hour.”
“It took Dade and Chris to get you to the couch and last I heard you didn’t move for twenty-four hours.”
“Yeah I may repeat that this year, minus the floor part.” He paused for a minute. “How are you doing?”
“Hmm. I’m good.”
He groaned. “Are you lying so I don’t have to drag my ass over there?”
She answered quickly. “No. I’m doing okay.”
“Will it cause a fight if I ask why you’re not staying at Owen’s?” He leaned back against the couch. He missed her. He knew this, but now he felt it too.
She sighed. “I just couldn’t deal with people, I love Cora don’t misunderstand but she just looks at me with those sad, concerned eyes and I want to scream.” She huffed out a breath. “I can’t pick up and carry on if I’m coddled to death, you know?”
“Yeah I get that. I could use coddling right now, no wait I’m thinking of pampering.”
She laughed. “No you need sleep, Dr. O’Reily.”
&nbs
p; “Maybe.” This was hard. He missed talking to her of course. And he’d spent years watching her with other men or talking about them. But it was different now. She’d been his so completely in every way.
“Did you fall asleep?”
He opened his eyes. “I don’t think so. Just lost in thought.”
“I’m glad you called. I don’t know if I thanked you for everything, it’s kind of a blur, but thanks for everything.”
Brush off was his first thought. “You don’t have to, Rach.” He heard her take a shaky breath. Not a brush off stupid! “Rach...”
“No I’m okay. It’s just you didn’t have to do everything you did but you still did it anyway because that’s how you are. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”
What did one say to that? “I wouldn’t be anywhere else, Angel.”
“So will you be able to make it to brunch on Sunday?”
“Sunday?”
“Yes three days from now is Sunday.” She chuckled.
“Right. Good. I’ll be there... ah...”
“I’ll send you a message Saturday and remind you.”
“Perfect.” He smiled, she knew him so well.
“Steven, go get some sleep.”
“Yes I think I’d better. You call if you need me.”
“I will.”
“Rach?” He wanted to say I love you but knew she’d run fast the other way.
“Yes.”
“Try to stay out of trouble until school season is over.”
She laughed. “I’ll try. Good night.”
“Nite.” He tossed the phone down and picked up his cell. His eyes were blurring as he sent a message to Dade saying all was good with Rachel she just need space.
Chapter 17
Steven had survived hell week. Well, sort of, he didn’t know how to spell his own name but he’d get a week of peace before the parents of the children that hadn’t gotten the virus before school started got it from the kids whose parents sent them to school sick. But that was fine; he had two days off and planned on sleeping at least one, maybe one and a half of them.
He’d just leaned back on his bed sighing with the sheer pleasure of it when the phone rang. “The doctor is unavailable to take your call, go away.” It kept ringing. He grabbed it. “Yeah.”
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