by Dawn Martens
CHAPTER Nineteen
Jenna
I wake up smiling from last night’s fun. I’m so sore I can barely move, but it was so worth it. I think Kidd and I had sex in every way possible, and I know I’m going to pay for it today.
Having anal sex with Kidd was something new. It wasn’t about pain. It wasn’t even truly about pleasure. It was all about trust, and him proving to me that he would never hurt me. I’ve done it before. It was either forced on me or something I did to keep one of the guys happy, but I never enjoyed it. Last night, I loved it. Kidd made me sing the fuckin’ American Anthem. It wasn’t just good, it was fan-fucking-tastic.
I stretch out and realize I’m alone in bed. I look towards the clock and see that it’s still early, so I start to wonder where Kidd went to. I take a second to shake off my sleep before I get up and get ready for the day. I start to head to my room when I notice some of my stuff on Kidd’s dresser. I look around a bit and realize that everything I own is in here now. Shit! When did he do this?
I rush through getting dressed then head out to give Kidd an ass chewing for moving my stuff without asking me first. It took me three years to earn my room in the clubhouse, and I’m not giving it up without a fight. I go straight to his office and open the door without knocking. I’m about to start bitching, but I stop when I see Kidd, Chipper, Reese, Timber, and Preach sitting around Kidd’s desk talking. Rum and Wayne are standing a few feet away, watching the rest of the room. I can tell by their vibe that they’re standing guard, making sure no one gets too close. Something’s going on, but I have no idea what.
I start to walk towards them, but stop when Rum rushes towards me. “Sorry, Ice. The meeting is private.”
I’m about to ask what’s up when Kidd motions towards us. “Let her in. This involves her too.”
His words send chills down my spine, because I just know that shit is about to hit the fan. I walk slowly towards Kidd’s desk and ask, “What’s going on?”
Kidd looks towards the guys then back to me. “The crew from Mateland are coming for a visit.”
My heart starts to pound, and I have to struggle to take a breath. I knew this was coming. I knew it the moment I heard Timmons was in town, but a desperate part of me had had hoped that he’d just go away. “When?”
“They’ll be here this weekend,” he says, watching closely for my reaction.
“Who’s coming?”
He shrugs. “I’m not sure about everyone. I doubt they’ll travel light, but I know at least Killer and Brew will be here.”
As soon as I hear my dad’s name, I turn around and start to run. I rush past Rum and Wayne before they even realize what’s going on. I go straight to Kidd’s room and start tossing my stuff onto the bed.
“What the hell are you doing?” Kidd asks as he walks in the room behind me and slams the door shut.
“I’m getting the hell out of here,” I say, digging in the closet for a suitcase.
“You ain’t fuckin’ going no where.”
I dig out an old duffle bag and rush to the bed. “I have to get out of here. I have to be gone before they get here.” I’m about five seconds from completely losing it.
He walks to the bed and leans over to face me, placing his fists on the mattress. “I said, you’re not leaving.”
“You don’t understand!” I shout, fighting desperately to hold my fear back.
“I understand more than you think. I understand that your Dad gave you to Timmons, and you’re scared out of your fuckin’ mind that he’s gonna get his hands on you again, but you need to understand that I would never let that happen. Never, Jenna. You are mine.”
No, no, no…. He can’t know about Timmons. That was my secret to tell, no one else’s. “Who told you that?”
“Chipper finally broke down and told me the truth, a truth that should have been told many years ago. I don’t give a fuck what Pop said. I should’ve known. If I had, the bastard would be dead now and you wouldn’t be standing there scared out of your fuckin’ mind.”
My heart starts to pound, and my fear crashes through me in waves; waves that are so strong that I just know at any given minute, they’re going to take me under. “What are you talking about?” I whisper, hoping that I misheard.
“I’m telling you I finally know everything, and I’m gonna deal with it from this point on. All you need to do is step back and let me take care of this shit for you. I’m your man. It’s my job to protect you.”
No! I don’t want Kidd involved in this. I don’t want anyone to deal with Timmons. That man is evil, and I refuse to allow him around the people I care about. “You don’t get it. Chipper might have told you what he knows, but you still don’t know shit about my past.”
He steps back and stalks around the bed. “And whose fucking fault is that? I've known you since you were sixteen years old, and not once in those years have you let me in. I've tried to get you to open up to me, but every time I crack the door open to Jenna’s world, you slam it right back in my face. Shit, Ice. What the hell can I do to get you to let me in?”
He reaches out and places his hands on my face and gently rubs my tears away with his thumb, tears that I didn’t even realize had started to flow. “I know I screwed up before. I should've been by your side since the day you turned eighteen, but I was angry with myself. I was too angry to see the pain I was causing you, but I got my shit together. I’m here for you now, and I’ll never let anything hurt you again.”
His words crash straight through the layer of ice that I’ve been living in, and the words come tumbling out. “My father’s name is Peter David Brewster. You know him as Brew.”
“Brew’s your dad?” His words come out in a shocked whisper. If he thinks that’s all that I’ve been holding inside of my head all of these years, then he’s fixing to be rudely awakened. Now that the ice wall has been broken, nothing will stay inside.
“I grew up in trailer park a few miles out of Mateland, Missouri. It was just my mom and me most of the time. Dad would show up every now again, mostly when he needed somewhere to lay low for a while.” I wrap my arms around myself, trying to fight off the chill that my memories always bring. “I swear my mom lived for the times Dad was there. It's like her life was put on hold when he wasn't around. She barely even noticed me. Sometimes, I think she forgot she even had a daughter. To her, I was just part of the scenery.”
I look up and see the confusion on Kidd’s face, but I don’t stop. “Every time he came home, she'd work her ass off to make him want to stay. The house would be so clean, it would shine. She’d make these amazing dinners, stuff we couldn't afford. She’d make prime rib and all this other shit that cost out the ass, even knowing me and her would probably go hungry until the next round of food stamps came in. She'd dress up, do her make-up and hair, just to get his attention, and she'd get it, but only for a day or two. It didn't matter what she did, nothing was taking Dad away from the club. A wife and a kid was nothing compared to the freedom he got from being with his brothers.”
“Baby girl,” Kidd breathes out, still catching my tears with his thumb.
“When I was little, I'd listen to Dad talk about the Renegade Sons. Shit, I'd even dream of someday being a part of it. I wanted to be someone’s old lady, wear their brand. I wanted it all.” I step back and walk towards the window. “That was until I figured out why he loved the club so much. It wasn't the brotherhood that kept him at the club house so much. No, it was all the easy pussy. My dad was addicted to that shit.”
I see Kidd walking towards me, and make a bee line for other side of the room. I know I can’t stand him touching me right now. “Half the club didn't even know that dad had an old lady, and less than that knew about me. Dad had a different girl on the back of his bike every damn day. It killed my mom, and I grew up watching her slowly fade away to nothing. The pain of knowing he was out there with other women, night after night, literally killed her. It wasn't the damn pills that took her away. It was him.
It was his betrayal.”
“What pills? What are you talking about?”
“When I was sixteen, I came home from school to find my mother had OD’d on the kitchen floor.” I close my eyes to hide my pain from him. “She left a note to Dad, but she never even mentioned me in it. Not one ‘I love our daughter’ or ‘take care of Jenna.’ Nothing. All she said was how much she loved him and how she couldn’t live knowing he was with all those other woman.”
“Shit, baby. I’m so sorry,” Kidd says as he starts towards me again.
I place my hands out in front of me, letting him know that I don’t want to be touched. “Don't you see, Kidd? I can't let you in. I can't give you my heart again, because I know if I do, you'll end up shattering it. You did last time. If it happens again, I’ll end up just like my mom.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, Kidd grabs my hands and pulls me flush against his body. “No fucking way, baby. If you give me your heart, lay it right in my hands. I promise I will protect it until the day I die.”
Kidd
Hearing Jenna tell me about her father put together all of the pieces of why she was so against becoming an Old Lady. It’s not just my fuck up that I’m fighting against; it’s her past as well. Still holding her close to my body, I whisper into her hair, “I would never stray, baby. What we have now, we’ll have until the day we die, and it will be fucking amazing. I would never hurt you in that way.”
“I love you,” she whispers out.
My body goes taut, and I pull her even closer to me. “What did you say?” I ask, wanting to hear the words again.
“I love you, Kidd. I do, but I’m scared. You hurt me so bad, and not just with the words you said. It was how you just walked out on me after. That was the first time I had ever willingly given myself to anyone. I may have had my body’s virginity stolen from me, but I gave you the virginity of my heart. I know that doesn’t make sense, but that’s how it felt.”
“It does make sense. That’s why I told you thank you that night. I was thanking you for giving me that part of you. You may not have had that little piece of skin, but you were a virgin all the same.” I place my hand on her cheek. “I’m sorry I walked out on you without telling you how I felt. Just so you know, I felt same way then as I do now. I love you, Jenna. I love you with everything I am.”
She reaches up and kisses me. When she pulls back, she smiles up at me. “If you love me, and I love you, then why in the hell aren’t you making love to me?”
I smile and pull my shirt over my head. Then my hands go under her shirt and start to pull it off. I reach down and wrap my arms under her ass. Lifting her up, I walk us over to the bed and lay her down. I take my time removing her clothes, getting off on every inch of skin I expose before I take my own clothes off and crawl over her.
I spend time making love to her with my tongue before venturing down her body. I make sure to kiss every inch of her, starting with those gorgeous tits I love so much. I make my way to that sweet pussy of hers, and as soon I get a taste, my balls start to tighten.
When I feel her first release against my tongue, I crawl back up her body. Looking into her eyes, I say, “Baby, no more condoms. I want nothing between you and me anymore.”
She nods yes, and I slide into her. She feels like fuckin’ heaven. I watch her face as she takes me, her love for me shining bright. This is the same face I stared into when I had her on her eighteenth birthday; the same face I fell in love with six years ago. I lean into her, my face tucked into her neck, thrusting hard towards our release. “I love you, baby girl. Love you more than anything in the whole fucking world.”
A few minutes later, we lay quietly beside each other. I have her held tight to my side, and she’s holding onto my hand like there’s no tomorrow. Finally, she breaks the silence. “This isn’t a game, is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You and me. You’re for real, aren’t you? It isn’t just some game. This time you mean it. I’m really your old lady.”
I lean my forehead against the top of her head. “No, baby girl. This isn’t a game. You’re my old lady, and you will be until the day I die.”
She doesn’t respond, just rolls over and throws her leg on mine. She then burrows her face into my neck. Within minutes, her body goes lax and her breathing evens out. I relax and try to join her in sleep, but my mind keeps wandering back to her words from earlier. I still can’t believe that Brew’s her dad. I remember him asking about her. Shit, he was asking about his own daughter. The bastard denied even knowing her. Well, he won’t be able to deny it much longer. When he gets here, he’s gonna pay for the shit he put her through. Brew’s sorry ass is going to die, and the motherfucker is going to die in pain.
CHAPTER Twenty
Kidd
I slide into my normal table at The Kitty Kat and motion for a waitress to bring me and the boys a round of drinks. As soon as my beer’s in front of me, I turn to Reese. “Any news?”
He shakes his head. “Nah, man. It’s like the motherfucker disappeared overnight. Not one brother or any of the girls has seen him. Timmons is a ghost, man.”
Timber leans into the table, placing his palms on top of it. “I got an idea. Don’t know if it’ll work, but it’s worth a try.”
I lift my chin. “Tell me.”
“I think we should consider sending Preach to Mateland.” Timber motions towards Preach. “You all know that he’s got a talent for getting information. He’s got a way of getting a guy to talk, and you never even realize you’re telling him all your fuckin’ secrets until it’s too late. If they know where Timmons is, he’ll find out.”
Preach nods. “I don’t know if it’ll work, but I’m willing do anything to keep Ice safe.”
I nod my head. “Sounds like a plan to me, but I don’t want him going out on his own.”
“I’ll ride with him,” Reese offers.
“As much as I’d like to get your ass away from Jenna, I think it’d be better if you stayed here. I’ll need all the help I can get if Timmons goes after my old lady.”
“I think you should send Maker with me,” Preach says. “He’s a good brother, but he’s dumb as fuck. You send him with me, it’ll help get their guard down. There’s no way the Mateland crew will think I’m searching for information with Maker around.”
Chipper clears his throat. “That’s a good plan. The only hitch is that Kidd already called Brew. They know we’re on the war path, but they don’t why. It doesn’t matter though. They’ll be keeping shit tight until they find out.”
“If that’s true, why don’t you just ask Brew? He hates Timmons. If he knows anything, he’ll give it up,” Preach says.
Timber’s right: Preach is good at getting information. He learned a lot of shit when we were in Mateland, including that Timmons and Brew didn’t see eye to eye.
Reese shakes his head. “No he won’t. He’s protecting Timmons, so that Timmons will keep protecting him. Brew doesn’t want his secret getting out.”
I cut my eyes towards Reese. “You know about Brew and Ice?”
He nods. “I’ve known since the day Chipper took her out of that shithole.”
“What in the hell are you two talking about?” Chipper asks, looking between Reese and me.
I hate to tell my brother this shit, but it’s all gonna come out anyway as soon as Brew’s sorry ass steps foot in Big Clifty. It’s gonna kill him that Jenna didn’t trust him more. I hope he can understand that she was too scared to tell anyone. “Brew is Jenna’s father.”
His body goes rigid. “No, he’s fucking not. Her father’s name is David.”
“Her father’s name is Peter David Brewster,” I say, watching for his reaction.
He looks at me for a while, as if he’s searching for truth in my words, and then slams his fist onto the table. “She fuckin’ lied to me. I took care of her ass for years, and she fuckin’ lied to me.”
He starts to get up, but Reese grabs his arm and pus
hes him back down. “She was a scared kid. All she knew about the club was what her dad and Timmons told her. Timmons had her convinced that no one could take her away from him. She was afraid that you’d be forced to take her back to him.”
“Why the fuck would I do that?” Chipper asks, clenching his teeth together.
Reese looks towards me then back towards Chipper. He reluctantly says, “He claimed her, made her his old lady. Her dad and Timmons told Jenna that no one can take an old lady away.”
“What?” Chipper and I ask at the same time.
Reese shrugs. “I’m not sure of everything that happened when she was there. She refuses to talk about it, but I do know he claimed her. I also knew she was Brew’s daughter the moment she told me her name was Jenna. I wasn’t in Mateland long before I came here, but long enough to know that Timmons had claimed Brew’s daughter, Jenna. I was also told that she didn’t get a choice in the claiming.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Chipper shouts out. At the same time, I ask. “Why the hell didn’t you help her?”
Reese ignores Chipper and looks at me, fury flashing in his eyes. “I never saw her. I didn’t know she was just a kid. Didn’t have no fuckin’ idea what he was doing to her, or that she was being abused either. Do you honestly think I would just stand around and let her be hurt?”
I take a deep breath, trying to bury my anger. “No, I don’t. I know you better than that. I shouldn’t have even asked that shit.”
Reese cuts his eyes to Chipper. “As for you, I didn’t know you well enough at first. By the time I did, you and your father had made me swear not to tell anyone about Timmons. If I remember correctly, your father threatened to cut my fuckin’ balls off if I did. I figured if I had to keep one secret, it was best to keep them all.”
Chipper places his elbows on the table then buries his face in his hands. “She never trusted me. All this time and she never trusted me.”