Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him

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Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 7

by Clair Delaney


  “Coral, why are you getting yourself so worked up about him?”

  I sigh heavily and turn to face Rob.“I don’t know it’s really weird, I feel like he can see straight through me or something?” I answer trying to get my own head around it.

  “Is that such a bad thing?” Rob whispers.

  “It’s not that...I,” I take another big gulp of J.D. “I just don’t think I’m ready or capable of anything right now, not with everything going on at work...” I drift off again, staring at the boats bobbing on the water.

  Rob knows nothing of my horrid past, my reasons for dodging men and relationships. George is the only one I’ve ever opened up to, and even then it took ages for me to do so.

  “Look we’ve discussed the work thing, it’s a given right?” I nod in agreement.“Ok, good. But this guy Coral, he seems really great and he’s got it real bad for you.” I go to interrupt him, but Rob holds up his hand.

  “Let me finish. Now I mean that, as in it could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Look, I hate to say this, but you’ve been on your own way too long. It’ll send you mad you know.”

  I roll my eyes at him.“It’s not that easy.” I reply shuddering slightly as the memory of my last date comes unbidden into my mind.

  “What’s hard about it?” Rob argues. “It’s simple, you like him, he likes you. You give him your number, you go out on a date...?” Rob shakes his head at me. “You know Coral, for such a smart woman you can be a real dumb ass sometimes.”

  My mouth pops open in shock.“Nice, thanks so much,” I hiss.

  “Sorry babes, but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind.” He adds flippantly.

  “So much for cheering me up tonight,” I say gritting my teeth at him.

  “Coral, just...why are you so against relationships? I’ve never been able to get my head round it.”

  I instantly feel like I'm having a session with George.“Look, if you’re not going to cheer me up I'm going home.” I tell him firmly.

  “Oh come on...I mean I know about Justin, but there’s got be more than that?” He asks.

  “You don't know what you’re talking about Rob.” I spit.

  He stares back at me with a wounded look – Christ!

  I run my hand through my hair in frustration.“Rob, you don't understand, I...I’m not like other people, I don't run right, never have, never will, so a relationship is just...” I stare blankly out the window.

  “Why?” Rob whispers.

  “It’s...complicated.” I whisper back, keeping my eyes on my glass of amber liquid.

  “And you can't tell me?” He asks.

  I slowly shake my head at him.

  “Great, I’m your best friend. You should be able to tell me anything.” He rightly points out.

  “I know.” I whisper back, feeling melancholy – I hate it when people probe, why can't he just let it be?

  Rob cocks one eyebrow up at me. Great, so much for a fun evening out!

  I go back to staring blankly out the window. Rob runs his hands through his black hair and takes a gulp of wine, then he claps his hands together making me jump, I turn and look at him.

  “I’ve got it,” he says looking triumphant. “Ok, so think about Twilight,” he adds excitedly.

  “What?” I ask, frowning in confusion.

  “As an example,” he says enthusiastically.

  “Still not with you?” I say staring blankly at him.

  “How many times have you watched those films?”

  I grimace feeling too embarrassed to actually say out loud.“Too many times,” I say squirming.

  “And what is it you always say to me?” He questions.

  “What?” I slap my hand to my forehead, the alcohol finally kicking in, my head feeling a little woozy. “Rob you’re really confusing me,” I slur.

  “You always say ‘I’d love a man to look at me like that, like I’m his sunshine, the air that he breathes’,” he says in a girly voice.

  “I don't sound like that.” I grumble, then I think about what he’s just said. “Edward loves Bella, deeply and passionately, they are made for each other.” I say as though I’m announcing it to the world – Whoa alcohol!

  “Exactly, and that is what you always say you want.” Rob takes a sip. “Well, when you’re drunk you do,” he adds.

  “Ok back up, what the hell has this got to do with anything?” I ask totally bemused. “Besides the fact that their relationship is based entirely on fantasy, people don’t actually feel like that about each other Rob, they just don’t.”

  When I’m finished my tirade, I take another gulp of J.D and congratulate myself on being honest.

  “Noah and Allie,” Rob pipes up. What?

  “We’re quoting romantic couples now?” I stare into his deep black eyes as he sits there smiling goofily at me. Ok, he wants me to play.

  “Christian and Anastasia,” I retort.

  Rob snorts and rolls his eyes. “Darcy and Elizabeth.”

  “Romeo & Juliet,” I say.

  “Heathcliff and Catherine,” he counteracts.

  “Lancelot and Guinevere,” I smile – Ok, starting to feel better.

  “Orpheus and Eurydice,” Rob chuckles.

  “Rose & Jack,” I blurt, trying not laugh.

  “Who?” Rob asks, his head cocked to the side.

  My mouth pops open, how can he not know?

  “Titanic!” I gasp in mock horror.

  “Oh yeah...I always think Kate and Leo,” he chuckles. “Garrett and Theresa,” he adds, trying to keep the game going.

  I squint my eyes shut trying to work out who it is.“Oh, Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle, I got it,” I chuckle gleefully, then frown – Doesn’t Garrett die?

  “Holly and Gerry?” I say. Rob shakes his head again. “P.S I Love You,” I add. Then I frown again remembering that Gerry definitely dies, not such a happy ending.

  Rob leans forward and takes my hand in his. “Tristan and Isolde,” he whispers.

  I cock my head to the side – Bastard knows that’s my favourite film! I grit my teeth at him, then take a long drink of my Bourbon and stare out of the window.

  “What’s your point Rob?” I bark.

  “Another?” He asks pointing to my almost empty glass, avoiding my question.

  “Sure.” I swig the last of my drink and hand my glass to him. I suddenly remember I wanted to tell Gladys about Joyce, I quickly pull my mobile out and speed-dial her.

  “Hello?” Gladys sounds out of breath – That’s odd?

  “Are you ok?” I ask feeling instantly worried.

  “Oh Coral! Yes, darling...I’m fine.” She pants.I pull my mobile away from my ear and check I’ve called the right number. Yep definitely Gladys!

  “Ok, I’ll be quick, I’m out with Rob.” I say, still a little mystified.

  “Oh, lovely dear,” she says, still panting.

  “I saw Joyce tonight. Gladys I think you should call her, she looked really sad. I think the deal went through, I think she’s selling.” I say feeling nauseous again.

  “Ah...so you know,” she softly says.

  “Yes,” I whisper. “I’m ok.” I add for good measure. I know she’ll worry. “I’m more concerned with Joyce, we saw her in the Restaurant tonight, I don’t think it’s really hit home what she’s doing.” I close my eyes and bite my lip as I try not to think too hard about it.

  “Leave it with me darling, I’ll call her now.”

  “Thanks Gladys.”

  “You’re such a sweetie.” She gushes.

  “Um, no, I’m not.” I answer feeling embarrassed.

  “Yes you are, you’re always thinking of others, you have a big heart under that big sleeve of yours.” Crap, not this again!

  “Gladys, I’ – “Goodnight Coral,” she interrupts, I can tell she’s smiling. “Don’t drink too much and say hello to Rob, sleep well darling.” She adds.

  “Night, sleep well.” Just as I'm about to hang up, I s
wear I hear a male voice mumble something in the background and Gladys giggle at him, then the line goes dead – Ok, way too much alcohol, I'm hearing things now!

  As Rob sits down in front of me, handing me my second double J.D he takes a deep breath, twirls his glass round a couple of times then stares back at me.

  “So you want a man to look at you the way Edward looks at Bella?”

  I shrug, he knows this is true, impossible, but true.

  “Lucky you, your wish came true.”

  I pull a face at him.“Shut up!” I slur.

  “No, I mean it Coral. Tristan looked at you like that tonight.” I stare, frozen and wide eyed at Rob, trying to get my brain to compute what he just said.

  “No he didn’t.” I argue.

  “Yes,” Rob says so softly it’s almost a whisper. “He did.”

  My breath leaves me in a long exhale.“You think?” I squeak.

  “Coral, it was written all over his face,” he says. “So what’s the problem? He’s rich, handsome and has it really bad for you?” he adds.

  “Well for a start you know I’m not motivated by money....” I stop talking - What the hell am I on about?“He should pick someone else,” I snipe. The words twisting my stomach, for some inexplicable reason I don’t want him to like anyone else.

  “Why?” He questions.

  “Because I’ll kill it before it even gets started.” I snap, quickly standing. “I told you Rob, it’s...complicated.” Rob eyes me suspiciously. “Loo break,” I say and stomp off in the direction of the restrooms.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  AS I’M WASHING MYHANDS AT THE SINK, I hear Rob’s words going over and over in my head – ‘Tristan looked at you like that’ - Something way deep down inside of me keeps giving me a little nudge, telling me that I should go for it, but I know it will all end badly and will be totally messy.

  He is my boss for Christ’s sake, and either he, or I, will end up sitting in the corner of a darkened room, licking our wounds like an injured animal – It’s just not worth it.

  Shaking my head at myself, I take a good look at myself in the mirror.

  My eyes are slightly bloodshot and I look as though I’ve lost weight, like literally overnight. I move closer to the mirror, leaning forward I see my cheeks look slightly sunken too – That’s too much exercising for you! I scold, and quickly turn away from my reflection.

  Sometimes, I really hate what I see staring back at me.

  I close my eyes and grit my teeth at myself, I really shouldn’t go down this melancholy road, not when I’ve been drinking – Come on Coral! – I take a step forward and stagger slightly, guess the alcohol is finally kicking in.

  As I head back through the bar, I’m reminded of Lily’s birthday party. I need to invite Rob and I’m hoping if I mention it, we can get off the subject of Tristan.

  “Hey.” I sit myself down. “Before I forget, its Lily’s birthday party this weekend. Are you and Carlos coming?”

  “Are we invited?” Rob asks.

  “Of course you are. You came last year, and Debs said she’s looking forward to seeing you both.” I add, even though she didn’t say that, but I know she will be.

  “Well as far as I know we have nothing on, so yes. Count us in!”

  “Great! Oh and we’ll need to go shopping for a birthday present, can you make lunch tomorrow?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.”

  “What time?”

  I shrug my shoulders un-sure of what will be happening tomorrow.“Can I text you?” I ask.

  “Yes, that will be fine. I have nothing booked till next week anyway.”

  I try to hide the smile creeping across my face.“Was she really that bad?” I question.

  “Who?”

  “The evil witch in London?” I say.

  “God was she! And she was more like ‘Daddy has too much money for his own good’ kind of spoilt little bitch.” Rob sniggers; good he’s off the subject of men.

  “Nice!” We both laugh and click our glasses together.“To spoilt bitches that earn us a living,” I say.

  “And rich bosses who send shivers down our spines!” Damn it!

  I scowl at Rob, then bob my tongue out.“Enough with the rich boss thing,” I snipe.

  “Ok, ok. I’m done.” Rob laughs, holding his hands up in defeat.

  Good, now we are off the subject of Tristan, we can really have some fun...

  I WAKE UP WITH A JOLT, my mobile buzzing loudly beside me. As I sit up and look around me, I realise I’m in my studio and I’m on the sofa? I look down at my body and see I’m still fully dressed with a blanket draped over me. I do not remember getting here.

  Ugh! I feel so disorientated.

  With half-closed eyelids, I fumble in my bag for my mobile and quickly answer it.

  “Hello?” I croak.

  “Ola darling!”

  “Carlos?” I whisper - Stop shouting!

  “Yes sunshine, it is me.” He chuckles.

  I look up at the clock on the wall, it’s 7.35am. Shit, I should be swimming now!

  “What happened?” I ask trying to recollect the previous evening, and slump back down on the sofa. As I do, I can see a big glass of water on the side.

  “I came down to pick Rob up, he was too drunk to do anything – honestly, you two when you get together, you’re such a bad influence on each other! Anyway, I carried you home, made you take some Nurofen, and got you settled on the sofa.” Sweet!

  “You did?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper. Realising the Nurofen must be the reason my head doesn’t feel too bad, my body however has different ideas!“Is Rob ok?” I ask.

  “Still sleeping it off,” Carlos advises.

  “Sorry.” I whisper.

  “What for sunshine?”

  “Taking him away from you,” I croak.

  “We needed the space.” He tells me.

  “Did Rob tell you about Lily’s birthday?” I suddenly recollect asking him about that.

  “Yes, we’ll be there.”

  “Good, I miss you.” I haven’t seen Carlos in ages. I feel my eyes closing on me again, I really want to go back to sleep.

  “You saw me last night.” He chortles.

  “I don’t remember.” I answer groggily.

  “Well, either way, time to get up.” I wish he would stop shouting. “Lots of water and a cold shower, you’ll feel right as rain in an hour.”

  I snort loudly. “I very much doubt that.” I turn on my side and the room starts to spin.

  Shit! Coral you idiot! Why d’ya get so messed up when you know you have work the next day?

  I squeeze my eyes shut. “I think I might bail.” I groan.

  “Oh no you don’t, come on, up!” he tells me sternly.

  “My body doesn’t feel like mine,” I tell him.

  “I’m coming over,” he tells me. Rob and Carlos have always had a set of keys to my place, it means I don’t have to get up and unlock the door.

  “Ok,” I whisper.

  “See you in ten,” he softly says.

  “Ten.” I whisper back and pass out.

  A SOFT VOICE IS CALLING ME. Trying to wake me from my peaceful slumber. No! Go away!

  “Coral come on, time to get up sunshine!” The voice chortles softly.

  “No,” I grumble and push the hand away that’s trying to gently wake me.

  “Coral, wake up.” A stern voice tells me.

  I open my eyes, blinking several times and see Carlos sitting on my coffee table, looking as handsome as ever; sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, gorgeous tan and a body to die for.

  “Carlos?” I mumble. Ugh! My mouth feels so dry.

  “Sit up.” He orders and I quickly do so, my stomach objecting, my head spinning again. I wince as I turn to face him, my ribs throbbing with the movement. Why are my ribs hurting?

  “You ok?” He asks looking amused.

  He never takes my hangovers se
riously.I slowly shake my head then quickly stop, everything still seems woozy and it’s so bright in here. Who turned up the sun?

  “Here drink this.” He hands me a pint glass of my pre-made vegetable juice, guaranteed to kill any hangover.

  “Thank you,” I whisper and drink the whole thing down without coming up for air.

  “Come on, you need to shower and get ready. I’ll take you into work.” I lie back down and throw my arm over my eyes, trying to block out the sun that’s blasting through. I just want to go back to sleep.

  “Coral, seriously it’s ten to eight. You’re going to be late.” I listen to his words, my brain taking a moment to process them and when it does, full scale panic sets in.

  “Fuck! I’m late.” I shout and jump up from the sofa, swaying slightly as I do.

  Carlos quickly grabs both my arms and steadies me – I don’t mind Rob and Carlos touching me.

  “Slow down darling, you have plenty of time. I’m taking you into work,” he repeats.

  I swallow hard and launch myself into his muscular chest. I always feel emotionally raw the day after a heavy night. “Thanks Carlos, I owe you, big time.”

  He chuckles hard and wraps his arms around me.“How do you feel?” He asks rubbing my back.

  “Um...I don’t know yet, my head doesn’t feel too bad though, considering!” I think Rob and I must have got really hammered last night!

  I feel him chuckling.

  “Thanks again,” I say feeling utterly grateful for last night, and him being here now.

  “My pleasure. Now, go take a shower, I’ll get your work clothes ready.”

  God I love having gay friends!

  Pulling out of his arms, I kiss him on his cheek then sleepily make my way over to my tiny bathroom. Once in there, I attempt to strip my clothing only to bash my arms several times on the shower door – Damn it

  I'm finding it hard to keep my eyes open; I just want to go back to bed. I wonder what time I was put to bed?

  Bashing my arm again, I decide it’s probably best to sit down to do this, so I put the toilet seat down and gently lower myself down onto it, once there I am able to get all my clothes off me without hurting myself.

 

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