AS WE DRINK MORE WINE and browse the menus for our mains, my mind keeps rushing forward to their wedding, my birthday – I still don’t know if I can get the time off, and I like things to be set in stone. I mean, I’m pretty sure Tristan will say yes, but I just want to be sure.
In that very moment, I feel his card glow red inside my purse. It’s as though it’s pulsing at me to call him. In fairness I’ve been waiting for an excuse to hear his voice since he walked out my door yesterday afternoon, so much seems to have happened since then.
I debate for a good five minutes about calling him, yes –no, yes-no; until I just can’t take it anymore. I pick up my handbag and excuse myself from the table.Once inside the restroom, I get myself into a stall, lock the door, put the toilet lid down and sit.
My leg instantly starts jigging up and down – I’m so god damn nervous.
Taking a deep breath, I open my purse and pull out his card. I run my fingers over his name. I feel my stomach flip over then start fluttering madly. The card in my hand is rapidly shaking, giving away my nerves – God damn it!
Trying to ignore all my body’s reactions, I take a deep breath, fish my mobile out and punch in his mobile number. I take another deep breath and press dial, it starts ringing.
My leg goes into full scale jigging mode, and I am biting my bottom lip in nervous anticipation.
It only rings three times.
“Coral.” He sounds relieved.
I frown deeply.He knew it was me!
“H-hi,” I stutter a little astonished. “You knew it was me?” I gush, all the air leaving my lungs.
“Yes.” I can tell he’s smiling. “It’s good to hear your voice,” he adds sleepily.
“Did I wake you?” I gasp.
“No,” he chuckles. “I was relaxing on the sofa, reading.”
“Oh!” I answer breathlessly - Come on Coral, you can do better than that!
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Tristan’s voice is husky and soft and sexy all at the same time.
Is that even possible… or legal?
“Um...I was,” I stop for a moment. Where do I start, so much has happened? – “So Gladys is getting married,” I say. “You know my adoptive mother?” I add.
“Is she?” He asks his voice full of surprise.
“Yes, I only found out yesterday. We’re at the Hilton, they’re having the wedding here, next month.”
“Wow, that’s...quick.” Tristan still sounds shocked.
“Tell me about it, I didn’t even know she was seeing anybody.” I answer dryly.
“Are you ok?” He instantly sounds concerned.
“Um...quite honestly, I don’t know...well, yeah I guess. I’m happy she’s happy, and has found Malcolm’ – “Malcolm?” Tristan interrupts.
“Yeah, the guy she’s going to marry. He’s nice.” I say trying to placate him.
“Hmm.” Tristan doesn’t sound convinced.
“Honestly...he is,” I sigh. “I feel comfortable with him...which is surprising.” I roll my eyes. “And you should see the way they keep looking at each other, all gooey-eyed and loved up.” I add dryly.
“That’s good though right?” Tristan says still sounding concerned.
“Of course I’m...h-happy for them…but,” I break off.Why do I feel the need to spill my guts to him? I was only supposed to be checking it would be ok to get the time off!
“I’m coming to see you,” he says, his voice low, but full of a deep and profound promise.
And I believe him. I think if I asked him, he would come to me. I can hear his footsteps moving quickly across a wooden floor. Then I think about the guilt I will feel afterwards, the fact that I just need someone to lean on because I don’t have anyone right now.
“No Tristan, don’t. I...” He sighs heavily. I can no longer hear his rapid footsteps across the floor. “I’m ok.” I try to sound convincing, then I sigh feeling the weight of my words.
“I’m not convinced.” He states.
“It’s just all…a bit of a shock,” I croak.
“I’m sure it is. Have they known each other long?”
“A year, Gladys didn’t want to tell me until...” I sigh again feeling a little of the betrayal I initially felt when she told me.
“Until what?” Tristan asks a little annoyed.
“She wanted to wait until, well, that they were both sure. I guess they were just being careful, they’ve both been hurt in the past.” I say, I don’t mean to sound gloomy.
“Well that’s understandable,” he says. I wonder for a moment if he’s actually right?
“Either way, the Wedding isn’t the worst part of it.” I say somberly.
“Then what is?” He asks.
“Oh they’re leaving,” I croak, my eyes filling with unshed tears - What’s going on? I was fine a minute ago!
“Leaving?” He says his voice low and dark.
”Yeah...Gladys wants out of Brighton. Malcolm likes Cornwall, or Devon, they’re not sure which yet.” Tristan is silent, I hear nothing and I wonder if I’ve lost signal.“Tristan?”
“I’m here.” He answers.
I take a deep breath and compose myself.“So anyway, the reason I was calling is to see if it would be ok to get the time off.” He doesn’t say anything, so I continue while I can. “For the wedding...I mean...it’s going to be on a Thursday, the 8th August’ – “Your birthday?” He interrupts.
He knows when my birthday is too?
“Um...yeah, I...well that’s why I’m calling...will I be able to get the time off?”
Tristan is still silent. What’s wrong with him?
“Tristan, are you there?” I ask.
“Yes.” He exhales loudly like he’s been holding his breath for a long time. “Of course you can have time off,” he adds, sounding annoyed.
“Well, I just thought I’d check...you know with the take-over and everything...” I say scowling at the floor.
“It’s no problem at all Coral; you shouldn’t even have had to ask.” He scolds.
“Sor-ry!” I bite back.
“No...I didn’t mean...” Tristan exhales in a rush. “I really would like to come and see you, see for myself that you’re ok.” I close my eyes and swallow hard, my throat seems so dry.
Get off the phone Coral!
“I have to go,” I tell him. “They’ll be wondering where I am.”
“Can I call you later?” He asks his voice a somber whisper.
“Sure.” I reply before I’ve even thought about it – No Coral, what are you doing?
“I’ll let you go…I miss you.” He whispers then hangs up.
I stare at my mobile in disbelief. Did that conversation really just happen? Did he really just say I miss you?
I feel a strange fluttering in my belly – “Coral?” Shit Gladys!
“Yeah...I’m here!” I scramble out of the stall.
“We were wondering where you were?” She says, her cheeks a little flushed.
“Sorry.” I mumble and walk over to the sinks to wash my hands.
“Darling, are you really ok about the date?” She looks so worried.
I quickly dry my hands and hug her hard.“Yes, I really am. I’m not just saying it.” I feel her shoulders relax. She hugs me back for a second then pulls back with her hands still on my shoulders, studying me intently.
“Who were you talking to?” She quizzes, her eyes narrowed – Shit!
“Rob,” I lie. “Something’s really wrong with him.” I frown hard. “He won’t tell me what it is, and he’s not coming on Saturday, which reminds me, can I get a lift with you and Malcolm?”
“You don’t need to ask that.” Gladys softly scolds.
I pull my lips up to smile.“Bob’s coming too.” I add feeling a weird fluttering race up and down my body, and I know it’s because I'm going to hear Tristan’s voice later.
“Oh lovely, haven’t seen him in a while.” She says warmly.
I nod with more enth
usiasm that is necessary and pull my lips up to smile again, it feels odd.
“Come on, let’s get back to Malcolm, he’s going to think I’ve deserted him.” She chuckles.
I follow Gladys out of the restroom and back into the main restaurant…
MALCOLM HAS WALKED ME BACK TO MY STUDIO. He was insistent, even though I told him I was fine at the car park, I unlock the door and smile up at him.
“Thanks Malcolm.”
“My pleasure,” he smiles. “Now go on, get yourself inside and lock up behind you.” He adds.
“I will.” I say, pulling the patio door open.
Malcolm watches me lock the door behind me, smiles, nods once, then waves as he walks away.
Well, that felt nice, how protective of him – Then I realise how hot it is.
Dashing over to the air-con, I switch it onto full to cool the room down. I feel exhausted, my belly is full and I’ve had far too much wine. Kicking off my stilettos, I pick them up and make my way up the stairs. My head is swimming again, so much is happening, I don’t even know where to begin trying to assimilate it all.
As I’m getting changed into my sweats, I feel my heart start fluttering, like a bird in flight – which is very worrying – because I know it’s because I’m going to hear Tristan’s voice soon, that’s if he calls.
I sigh inwardly and head back down the stairs. I decide to call Carlos, Rob’s been on my mind since this afternoon, I’ve been trying to work out how I can reach him, so I can find out what’s wrong, maybe Carlos can shed some light on the situation?
I check the time 10.20pm, it’s not too late, so I call him, but I get no answer, which is strange, Carlos always answers his mobile. I check the number to make sure I got the right one and press call again, only this time it goes straight to voice-mail.
I instantly feel angry, he knew I was calling and pushed me to voice-mail - Arghhh! – I chuck my mobile on the sofa in frustration. Why won’t they talk to me?
I AM STOOD STIRRING MY CUP OF hot chocolate when my mobile starts ringing. I spin around and dash over to it, hoping its Carlos calling me back, but it’s not, it’s Tristan.
“Hello,” I mumble feeling a little deflated.
“Convince me not to come down there and see you.” He replies sharply.
“Um...” I pinch my nose trying to think of something to say. “I’m really ok,” I say.
“You don’t sound it,” he states sternly.
“Ok...ok,” I sigh heavily. “I’m not 100%, but I need to learn to stand on my own two feet Tristan, that much is evident.” I huff.
“Coral, having your family around you to be there for you in times of need doesn’t mean you can't stand on your own two feet. You seem very capable of doing that to me.”
“Look, it’s just’ – I sigh again – ‘there’s just a lot going on right now and...” Why am I telling him this? – I exhale loudly. “It just feels like my life has gone from being very organized and balanced, to messy and complicated in a nano-second. It’s a little disorientating that’s all.”
“Spill,” he orders.
“I...I” I stop there. I don’t need any more complications right now – Especially with him.
“A friend in need is a friend indeed,” he reasons.
I sigh again, and against my better judgment I start babbling it all out.
“Ok, well my job is changing. I’m losing Joyce, Robs weirding out on me, Carlos won’t answer my calls and then I find out Gladys has kept this relationship a secret and well, I’m happy for her of course, but I’m so gutted she’s leaving. Gladys and Joyce are my family and in one foul swoop they’re gone, just gone...” I stop and think about what I’m saying. That must have been what it felt like to Tristan when he lost his folks, well his grandparents.“Incidentally, how did you know it was my birthday?” I say changing the subject.
“Had something planned,” he tells me.
“You...what? Why?” I gasp trying to get my head around it.
“It’s not a problem, I can move it. Do you have any plans the Saturday after?”
“Um...I...” My head feels scrambled. He had something planned?
“Coral?” Hearing his voice pulls me from my musing.I think back to what Malcolm told me while Gladys was in the ladies, “I’m taking her to Bali, she’s always wanted to go, we leave Saturday after the wedding”
“Why?” I ask, wondering what he has planned. I'm not so great with surprises.
“Believe me, you’ll love it,” he says with full confidence.
“You don’t know me Tristan so how can you say that?” I argue.
“Are you free?” He asks again changing the subject.
I give in, I'm too tired to argue.“I guess, but I warn you...I’m not too good with surprises.”
Tristan chuckles. “How did I know you were going to say that?”
“When’s your birthday?” I ask wondering who he’ll be spending it with now that his folks have gone. My mind instantly speeds forward to Christmas. Who will Tristan spend it with? And what about New Year? He can’t be alone, that’s just…just awful...
“Coral, I heard you gasp then, what’s wrong?”
“I...nothing, when’s your birthday?” I ask again.
“November,” he tells me.
I roll my eyes.“What date in November?”
“25th” He answers.
“Do you have any plans?” I ask sweetly.
“It’s a little early to be’ – “Do you?” I ask more forcefully.
“No actually, I don’t.”
“What did you used to do?” I enquire.
“Not much. I don’t really agree with the western way of thinking...you know the age thing.”
“Age is just a number baby.” I giggle.
“Exactly,” he says in agreement.
“What about Christmas and New Year? What did you used to do then?” I question.
“Hold on a second I thought this conversation was supposed to be about you?”
I ignore that one.“Please,” I whine. “Answer me this one and we can go back to me.” I say with my fingers crossed.
“Fine!” He barks, then he’s silent for a long time. “I’d.... be with my folks,” he answers somberly. I knew it!
“I guess this year’s going to be pretty rotten huh?” I say my voice sounding a little sad.
“I was planning to go abroad actually, as I did last year, completely forget the holiday season,” he says.
“Really?” I squeak. “Where to?”
“Oh…I don’t know…somewhere warm and tropical, not really sure yet.” His voice sounds wistful.
“Sounds delightful…” I’m already day-dreaming about it.
“Want to come?” Tristan asks playfully.
“Can’t, Gladys would never forgive me if we weren’t all together for Christmas. So I’m officially inviting you, I don’t want...I don’t think you should be on your own at Christmas Tristan...that...it’s just...wrong.” I stutter.
“Is it now?” I can tell he’s smiling again.
“Yes it is!” I state.
“Well, thanks I accept your offer, if I don’t go away that is.”
My eyes start to feel heavy, the evening’s events catching up with me.“Well, I better go.” I stifle a yawn.
“Am I boring you?” He chortles.
“No. Just tired, it’s been a long day.” I offer.
“I’m sorry Gladys is leaving,” he says.
“It’s ok,” I yawn again. “I’ve got Rob and Carlos and my sister.” Well I think I have Rob!
“And me,” Tristan says.
I frown at the explosive feeling that begins fluttering away in my stomach.
“Have you thought anymore about us?” He whispers.
“Yes.” I answer breathlessly.
“And?” His voice sounds hoarse.
“Look Tristan, there’s a few things I need to sort out, get straight in my head, I...” I instantly think of George’s words
“talk to Tristan” I shake my head, it’s just too hard.
“So that’s not a no?” He questions.
I sigh heavily. Is it?
“It’s not a yes either.” I mumble.
“I can live with that,” he croaks sexily. God damn it, please stop doing that!
“I...I have to go.” I breathe.
“Coral, I’m here for you either way, whatever you decide, you need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on. I’m here.” He sounds so determined.
“That’s sweet Tristan, and very kind of you, considering we don’t know each other,” I say, my stomach twisting at his words.
“Getting there though.” I can tell he’s smiling again.
“Goodnight Tristan,” I say, shaking my head at his confidence.
“Goodnight Coral, sleep well beautiful.” Damn it!
“Tristan!” I moan.
“What?” he chuckles. “I can’t call you beautiful?”
I shake my head at him.“Nevermind. Night, I’ll see you when I see you.”
“Sooner rather than later,” he teases and hangs up before I can say anything.
I growl at my mobile. What the hell does he mean by that? – Oh god, I hope he’s not coming back down here. I don’t think I could take it. I close my eyes and try to blank him out of my head, but all I keep picturing is him smiling at me – Man that smile gets me every time!
Stop it Coral, you and him, it’s never going to happen you know that!
I nod in agreement with myself, pick up my hot chocolate, switch off the air-con, and drag my tired butt up the stairs...
CHAPTER NINETEEN
THE ROOM IS FLOODED WITH SUNSHINE, but I can't work out where I am. I turn around and realise I’m somewhere strange, a place I haven’t been before, and the strangest part about it is the earth isn’t still. I am moving back and forth even though my feet are on solid ground.
I hear Tristan call me, I walk forward trying to locate his voice, and as I do, I look down at my feet. No shoes? – My toes look brown, my toe-nails pink, like I’ve been sunbathing. How odd?
As I walk forward, I catch my reflection in a mirror. I’m in a khaki bikini and my body looks tanned and healthy. As I stare back at myself, I don’t recognize the girl staring back at me, I look so happy.
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 23