“You really do jump ship don’t you?” I frown back at him.“What I mean is you can go from one emotion to another, instantly; it’s quite fascinating,” he says matter-of-factly.
“Oh well, I’m glad I...fascinate you,” I answer sulkily.
“Hey now, that’s not how I meant it.” He says, his tone soft.
I pull out of his arms.“I know you didn’t,” I say, but I still don’t like the fact that he said it. I frown at myself as I place the plates and cutlery in the dishwasher and switch it on. “Incidentally how did you get this place so quickly?” I add, trying to change the subject.
“Gave them an offer they couldn’t refuse?” he answers smugly.
“Which was?” I question.
“Six months worth of rent, so they could look for another place.”
“You’re kidding?” I choke.
“No.” He looks so proud of himself.
“Do you always get what you want? When you want it?”
“Yes, well most of the time,” he says, shrugging his shoulders at me.
“Except me,” I retort.
Tristan’s face falls, his features grimacing. “I thought’ - “Noone ever really owns anyone Tristan, not really.” I stare back at him feeling pissed and moody and I know exactly why.
I shake my head at myself, feeling guilty I just said that.
“Tristan, please just ignore what I just said, I’m feeling a little…off,” I tell him bluntly.
“So the car?” he says a little unwillingly.
“Yeah...the car,” I sigh and walk over to the kitchen table. “More?” I ask.
“Please.” I pour more wine into both our glasses and hand one to Tristan. I know I need to make amends. I don’t like hurting him, and I don’t like feeling like this. I want it to go back to how it was half an hour ago.
“I am so sorry, that was out of line. When I get upset or scared about something, I blurt things out I don’t really mean, it’s something I’m working on with George. So yes, I would love to drive your car tomorrow, if you don’t mind me taking it for a spin, and no, I didn’t dream like all the other boys and girls.”
“Apology accepted, not that you need to apologise,” he says, leaning down to kiss me.
“Yes I do,” I murmur against his lips. “I’m not blind Tristan, I could see you were hurt,” I add, swallowing hard.
“Coral, you didn’t hurt me, what upset me was that I knew you were upset. So don’t beat yourself up so much, everybody says things they don’t mean when they’re scared.”
I nod once. How can he be so...so forgiving?
“If I put the fire on will you curl up on the sofa with me?” he asks, stroking my cheek.
“Yes.” I whisper, gazing up at him.Picking up our wine glasses, I walk into the livingroom and as I get myself comfortable on the over-large, very squidgy sofa, I watch Tristan turn on the fire.“Hey sexy,” I say handing his wine to him, as he sits next to me.
“Hey yourself,” he says taking a sip and gazing adoringly at me. “Your bruises have almost gone,” he says, tracing his forefinger under my right eye.
“I know, at least I won’t have to cake my face in tons of make-up on Monday,” I chuckle, thinking back to how dreadful I must have looked.
“Coral, I want to ask you something?” Oh boy here goes!
“Ok,” I sigh.
“If you could go away tomorrow, anywhere in the world, where would you go?” That’s easy!
“The Hawaiian Islands,” I answer a little too eagerly.
“Why?” Tristan asks, his head cocked to the side.
“Are you kidding me, the scenery, the amazing beaches, need I say more?” I squeak.
Tristan chuckles at me. “Ok, I’ll give you that, it is beautiful,” he nods in agreement. “But?” he adds.How does he know there’s more?
I glance shyly at him.“Tell me,” he croons.
I take a deep breath.“Ok, I picked Hawaii because every since I was about eight years old, I’ve wanted to go watch the big surfing competition they hold there each winter.”
“Why?” I can see Tristan is finding this quite amusing.
“Ok, don’t laugh at me, but I kind of find the big waves fascinating, and the mad surfers who ride them even more fascinating. I mean, who does that? Who risks their life for the ultimate wave? I know it’s kind of stupid, but it doesn’t mean I'm not in awe when I watch them on T.V.”
I take a deep breath, feeling stupid for sharing. “I’ve always wanted to see it in real life, you know, hear the roar of those gigantic waves, the wind in my face.” I shrug my shoulders and stare at my glass of wine, Tristan thinks it’s stupid I know he does.“Plus, they have a really amazing cuisine over there, I’d love to try the food and wine,” I add.Maybe that can be our first holiday together?
“They do, do they?”he grins.
“Yes, they do,” I answer smartly, trying not to laugh.
“I should have known you’d pick a place with great food,” he chortles.
“Why would you say that?” I question.
“Because you have a passion for food and cooking,” he simply says.
“Yeah, I guess I have a thing for it, but it’s just a hobby.”
“Hmm…I’m curious Coral, if you could do or be anything you wanted, wake up tomorrow and you’re living that life, what would it be?”
“Jesus Tristan I don’t know!” I say, feeling exasperated. How did this change from places to visit to life affirming questions?
“Haven’t you ever thought about it?” He asks, his voice low.
“Well...no I haven’t,” I answer, wondering where all this is going.
“Ok, well I want to set you a challenge,” he tells me.
I shake my head at him.“No, I have enough of those,” I answer darkly.
“You do?” He says, his head cocked to the side in amusement.
“Yes, George is forever setting me new challenges,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Like what?” He asks, evidently intrigued.
“Trust me. You don’t want to know the answer to that one.”
Tristan frowns and is quiet and contemplative for a moment,then continues.“Ok, well not a challenge, but something I’d like you to think about.”
“What do you want?” I ask gloomily.
“It’s not bad Coral, relax.” He soothes.
I’m tense, worried already about what he wants. I feel my shoulders start to work their way up to my ears. Be brave Coral!
I take a deep breath.“Ok, shoot,” I blurt.
Tristan chortles.“Ok, I’d like you to think about the question I asked. What would you do if you could, no questions asked and no excuses either. Money doesn’t matter so don’t think about that part of it.”
“Um, ok, that sounds easy enough,” I answer, but I’m curious as to why he wants to know, then I realise – Crap! This has something to do with my job.
“You...why do you want to know that?” I ask, my voice wobbling slightly.
“This has nothing to do with your job Coral!” he admonishes in a deep and powerful voice, freakily reading my mind again. “And I’m not going to keep repeating myself on that one, it’s a given. But I suppose the question I’m asking is to do with it, and whether you would choose to stay, or go for a different career?” He looks a little pissed at me.
“Why are you so interested in what I do for a living?” I ask questioningly.
“Because I think you’re wasting your talents.” He states.
“You do?” I frown, then snort sarcastically. “And what talent is that, may I ask?”
“You’re a chef, a cook, a natural. I’m surprised you’ve hung onto your job for so long, and you haven’t left out of sheer boredom.” He says sarcastically.
“What?” I scrutinise his face.
“Most people who are creative, have creative talents like chefs, artists, writers, actors, dancers and so on. They are all artistic, creative personalities that are living their
lives as they are meant to. You, on the other hand, are definitely creative, yet you sit at a desk everyday typing out what must seem like very mundane letters,” he says, gazing down at me.
“I don’t just type letters,” I spit back at him.
Tristan narrows his eyes at me.“I know you don’t,” he barks and runs a hand through his hair. “Look, I want the best for you, which means I want you to be really happy in what you do. I want you to wake up every morning with a big smile on your face knowing that what you’re doing day in day out is what you truly love to do.” He says, sounding frustrated.
“Oh!” I hadn’t thought of it like that - Too quick to jump the gun Coral!
“Oh!” Tristan repeats my words back to me, when I look up, I seehe’s smiling at me.“So you think you can do that?” He adds dryly.
“Think about what I want to do?” I squeak.
“Yes.” He states firmly.
I frown back at him. I’m trying to work out if he’s right?I thought I would always be at Chester House right until I retired, but now Tristan’s said that, I don’t know what to think. Maybe that kind of stuff just isn’t for me?
“I don’t know Tristan,” I say biting my lip, feeling the nerves creeping in.
“What don’t you know?” He says, with a slight sigh.
“I just…I just think some things are best left alone,” I answer begrudgingly.
“Like what?” he asks.
I sigh inwardly.“Like...look, I never...” I look away from Tristan for a moment trying to gauge it right, what I’m trying to say, it’s very difficult to have any kind of coherent thought when he’s gazing at me like that.
“Ok, so I’m in school and I’m a nightmare. My grades are terrible and none of the teachers like me. I have no future, no prospects and no dream. I have no goal of going into further education like college or University, because as far as I’m concerned school sucks, big time. Like you’re supposed to know what you want to do with your life at fourteen years of age,” I blurt out as dryly as I can, then I continue.
“So I finish school at home, my exam results were just...well tragic, I was so nervous about letting Gladys down if I didn’t get high scores that I built myself up into a frenzy, and failed most of them. I knew there was no way I was going to do it all over again.I guess I just figured I’d go out into the world and just get a job, just like everyone else does.
I sigh heavily. “I suppose, if I’m truthful, I was more concerned with keeping myself on the straight and narrow. I didn’t want to go down the same path as my mother. So for me, staying straight and holding down a job was, and still is a big achievement for me. I’m not walking her path.”I take a deep breath, then a big glug of wine.
Tristan’s eyes darken. “When you say straight and narrow?”
“Tristan I swear to god if you mention a word of this to anyone, especially Gladys’ – “Coral,” Tristan barks in frustration, interrupting me. “You should already know you have my complete trust, whatever you tell me stays with me, I give you my word for god’s sake!”
“Fine!” I huff back. “I was drinking alcohol and smoking pot at school, I was heading down the same path.” I say, turning away from him.
“Ah, I see,” Tristan turns away from me and stares out the window.
“Running for the hills yet?” I ask observing his reaction out the corner of my eye.
“No, just thinking how bad you must have been feeling to resort to those measures.”
“Anything to block out the pain,” I bite, my brain to mouth filter failing on me again.I notice Tristan’s demeanour change to shock and squeeze my eyes shut for a moment – Coral you idiot, keep it zipped or he’s going to find out!
His mobile bleeps at him, Tristan takes it out his pocket, and stabs his code in with his forefinger. “Damn it!” He hisses, as he gets to his feet.
“What’s wrong?” I whisper.
He doesn’t answer me, he just marches into the kitchen, and disappears from view. For a split second, I feel like that’s it, he’s ending it all, and I don’t blame him.I’m jumping from one emotion to the other, it’s tiring, and I’m feeling constantly on edge in case I blurt something out that I don’t want him to know, then it gets all uncomfortable, well it does for me, and I’m left hanging…just like now – God damn it, where is he?
“Tristan?” I call out for him but there’s no reply. I go to stand, but see him re-appear with his mobile to his ear. “What are you doing?” I question.
He holds his forefinger up to me.He’s speaking rapidly at whoever is on the line. As I look up at the new clock on the wall, I see it’s ten past ten in the evening.I can't help wondering who he’s speaking to at this time on a Saturday night.
“Sorry about that,” he says, joining me on the sofa again.
“Late night bootie call,” I chuckle,but really I’m checking on him.
“No, a meeting I’d forgotten to move, so I left a message for Susannah.”I grit my teeth, her.
“Ah Susannah,” I say trying not to sound jealous. Although why I should when I have the gorgeous Tristan Freeman sitting next to me I don’t know!
“Problem?” Damn he’s razor sharp today!
“Nope.” I answer dryly.
He narrows his eyes at me. I stare blankly ahead.
“Want to watch a film?” he asks.
I think that’s a good idea, my mouth can’t run away with me then.
“Sure, yeah...that sounds nice,” I answer glumly.
Tristan flicks on the T.V, which instantly illuminates the large room.
“Just for the record,” he says staring ahead. “It doesn’t matter what road your parents travelled down Coral, we all have choice and free will. So please, try to free your mind and expand it to the possibility that there is a better, more enjoyable career out there for you. That’s all I’m saying on the matter.”Tristan dashes a scornful look at me then starts scrolling through the selection of films.Hmph!
My mouth sets into a hard line, I guess that told me!
CHAPTER SEVEN
I AM DREAMING I’M IN A BUSY, BUSSLING PLACE. Steam keeps rising around me, and someone is shouting my name. When I turn to see who it is, he shouts at me again.
“Coral, I need two beef wellies, three salmon, and one pork loin. Pronto.”
I turn around again and realise I’m in a kitchen, a big professional kitchen. Everything is stainless steel, and there’s lots of chefs all wearing white uniforms. When I look down at myself, I see I’m in a white uniform too, why am I...?
“Coral?” I blink my eyes open and see Tristan gazing down at me. “Good morning sleepyhead.”
“Hi,” I croak, blinking around the room. Tristan is sitting on the bed fully dressed and he smells divine.I lean up on my elbows.“You’re up already?” I grumble.
“Yes, we have a big day today,” he tells me. It takes me a moment to ascertain what he means.
Then it comes to me – The Car!
“Yes!” I beam, almost jumping out of bed.
“Stay where you are,” he tells me, and hands me a big glass of what looks like my vegetable juice.
“How did you’ – “Guessed. Try it. Tell me if I got it right.” I take a tentative sip – Perfect!
“Delicious,” I answer. “You should have one too, it’s good for you,” I add.
“Already have.” I narrow my eyes at him and drink the remaining juice. “Oh…I had a really weird dream?” I say staring blankly ahead, trying to remember it.
“And?” He chuckles.
“I was in a chef’s uniform. I think I was running a restaurant?” I say
“Hmm, sounds like you’ve been thinking about what I said,” he says, his face looks smug.
“Well forget it! It’s very long hours, working weekends, I’d never get to see you,” I say sullenly.
“Hmm…” Tristan is not convinced. “Come on, get up baby, take a shower and meet me downstairs. I have a surprise for you.”
“Tri
stan,” I groan. “How am I supposed to keep up when you keep being the wonderful one who bears gifts all the time?”
He smirks at me, then leans down and pecks me on the tip of my nose.“It’s not a gift, now come on, out of bed. The sun is shining and it’s our last day together, I want to make the most of it,” he tells me firmly.
“I have a good idea how to make the most of it,” I say seductively, pulling the quilt down to reveal my pert, toned breasts.
“Oh no you don’t, there’s plenty of time for that later, come on, up!”
I groan and fall back down onto the pillows.
“Definitely not a morning person,” I hear him chortle as he walks away.
I stare up at the ceiling and try not to think too hard about the fact that Tristan will be gone all week, that this is our last day together.My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach, I have no idea how I’m going to handle it – Stop it Coral!
I nod in agreement and push the thought to the back of my mind…
GETTING OUT OF BED WAS FINE. Walking however was not! Muscles I didn’t even know I had are aching so badly, it’s hard work trying to walk in a straight line. Damn, I thought I was fitter than this! – Tristan looked fine when he walked away, which is quite frankly, rather annoying!Maybe my body will get used to it, and the muscles will repair quickly? I hope so, I don’t want him thinking I’m a total flake!
Walking into the bathroom, I feel as though Tristan is in the room with me, his smell is everywhere, that delicious mind boggling scent of his, his shower gel and his aftershave, mixing into one and wafting around everywhere is making it hard to concentrate.Ok Coral get a grip!
Walking over to the sink, I pick up my toothbrush, squirt some toothpaste and start cleaning, but I can’t help thinking back to the dream and what Tristan asked. Do I really want to try out a different career?Is that something I really want to do, cooking, be a chef?I always thought of it as a kind of hobby, not a career, but maybe Tristan’s right? Admittedly, there have been times when I’ve been bored out of my head at work, but that’s normally when it’s quiet, and Joyce has gone home early, and I’ve got no work to do!
Hmm, definitely something to keep thinking about…
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 52