Tristan puts his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels, looking every inch the millionaire mogul.
He stares at the floor for a moment.“I see your point, I’ll go talk to her,” he says, walking past my desk.
“No!” I shriek in a half whisper, stopping him by touching his chest. It sends an electric shock through my system.
“Susannah won’t say anything, even if she did find out,” he says trying to assure me, subtly entwining his fingertips with mine.
I sigh heavily, closing my eyes to the feel of his fingers wrapped around mine.
“Give her a chance Coral, she’s a nice girl. I think you two will really get on with each other.” I narrow my eyes at him. “She’s happily married,” he states.
How do I tell him I know she’s got it really, really bad for him?
“She’s not!” I retort. “She’d dump her husband in a heartbeat if she knew she could have you,” I manage to whisper.
Tristan sighs and runs his hand through his hair.“So maybe she still holds a torch for me, I don’t know, and quite frankly I don’t care. It’s her problem not mine,” he snaps.
“But she wants you,” I quiver. The very thought of him with another woman is unbearable.
“But she’s not going to get me, is she?” he softly says, his eyes going all warm.
“Damn right she’s not!” I say, crossing my arms.
Tristan chuckles at me.“Am I detecting a little jealousy?”
“No!” My voice does not hide anything for me.
“Relax Coral, she holds nothing for me, there’s no interest there at all.”
I look up into his eyes, I see no contradiction, still not going to be very comfortable though.I decide to implement my plan today, shopping can wait till tomorrow. I will bombard her with questions until she admits it, then I can warn her to stay away from my man, and stop eye-fucking him.
“Ok?” Tristan asks in that sexy, husky voice of his.
I look up into those deep, chocolate eyes of his.“Yes,” I whisper incoherently. “What are you doing here anyway?” I add.
“Meeting got delayed, I'm leaving now though.” He softly says.
I look down at my desk, my heart constricting – A whole day without him, I feel sick.I close my eyes and try to push the nauseous feeling away. I feel his fingertip start to trace a line from my temple, across my cheek and down to my lips.
I exhale loudly, and look up meeting his deep brown eyes. We’ve been saying our goodbyes since five o’clock this morning, neither of us able to sleep.So why does this feel so hard, why do I feel like my soul is cracking in two?
“I feel the same,” he whispers, leaning down he gently kisses the edge of my lips.
I place my hand on his cheek, savouring the feel of his skin. I take a mental picture of his face, trying to imprint every curve, every line. I run my thumb across his bottom lip, trying to get the feel of it etched into my brain, so I can call upon it whenever I want him.
I gaze up into his eyes,memorising the deep chocolate colour, the hazel flecks, the perfect large round shape. And his thick eyelashes, remembering how they rest on his lower lids as he sleeps. Tristan suddenly pulls back and stands upright, hearing someone coming down the stairs.
I take a step back, and turn to see it’s one of the other secretaries, she half smiles at me as she reaches the bottom of the stairs, then stops and dashes a full blown smile at Tristan.
“Good morning,” she says all breathless and pink cheeked.
Tristan nods to her with a stony face. “Good morning.”
She blinks several times, her smile fading, then turns and walks down the hallway, turning back twice to ogle at Tristan.
“See,” I whisper, crossing my arms.
“I couldn’t give a fuck!” He snarls, surprising me. “I don’t care what any other woman thinks about me. It’s only you.” He adds.
My mouth pops open – Oh Tristan!
“I know,” I whisper. “Me too, only you baby.”
He leans down once more and caresses my cheek.“I have to go. See you soon baby,” he whispers.
I swallow hard and fight the urge to cry, I must be strong. I know Tristan can see that I’m upset. A whole week, a whole week without his lovely face, his strong body, his loving words – Don’t crumble Coral!
I take a deep steadying breath and smile up at him.
“See you soon,” I whisper back.
He hesitates for a moment, just as reluctant to leave as I am to see him leaving. I square my shoulders purposely, so he can see I'm ok. I'm handling it, well sort of...
“Tristan go…I don’t want you rushing in your car and…” The thought of him having an accident because he’s late grips me – Stop!
“I won’t, I’ll be careful,” he assures me.
“Ok. Call me when you get there?” I whisper.
“I will. Bye baby,” he whispers.
“Bye…” I croak back, unable to say anymore.
Tristan gazes down at me looking totally lost.Then he takes a step back and stares at the floor a moment, before marching off without looking back at me – Ouch that hurt!
I stare at his retreating figure for a moment, then stepping around my desk, I run down the hallway so I can see him one last time. I watch his tall, manly figure cross reception, and walk through the glass doors.
“Bye Tristan,” I whisper, trying to tell him telepathically that I love him.
A strange melancholy washes over me. I wince at the feeling and hug myself tightly, I feel like I’m breaking in two. I squeeze even tighter, almost as though I’m trying to hold myself together.
The very thought of having to wait so long to see him again is unbearable. I'm sure that’s not normal behaviour, I'm sure you’re supposed to feel elated, and all dreamy and loved up when you’re not together.So why am I suddenly feeling so low? - See, this is the very reason why you didn’t want to get involved with someone, cause they just get you feeling all fucked up inside!
I find myself nodding in agreement, this it too much, it’s too scary.
Maybe I should talk to Tristan when he’s back, face to face, tell him the whole marriage thing has got me all twisted up inside?
I hear my mobile buzz in my bag.I dash over to my desk, pick up my bag and yank my mobile out. I'm about to switch it to silent when I notice I have a message, I haven’t actually started work yet, so I allow myself to check it out, I close my eyes for a second hoping it’s Rob with some sort of news.
*Be Good Wife. I Miss You Already - Tristan Xxx*
I cover my mouth with my hand to stop the sob that wants to escape me, and fall into my chair. I sit, staring blankly at the message, feeling totally lost and withdrawn. Fuck!
One minute I feel like it’s too much and I want to run a million miles away, then I'm instantly pulled back, not wanting to be apart from him for a single second. So my ego is telling me to run, and my soul is whispering to stay.Can I be that brave, can I take a huge step like this?I already know the answer to that question.
It’s simple, I love him, I adore him.
My stomach turns, I clutch it tight, and I have to question - Is it really possible to feel this much love for another person, to have it run so deep it feels as though they reside in every cell of your being? I fight the urge to run after him and kiss him just one last time, feel his arms around me, his breath on my cheek.
I decide to text him back, tell him how I feel.
*Nearly ran after you for one last kiss. This is crazy, scary. I love you so deeply it hurts, this day is going to suck big time!
I miss you too. Hurry home Hubby Xxx*
I press send, and check the clock on the wall, its nine o’clock, time for work. I put my mobile onto silent, place it in the top drawer of my desk and get on with the letters that Joyce has sent across to me. At least if I can concentrate on that, I don't have to think about the hollow feeling in my chest…
CHAPTER TWELVE
TH
ANKFULLY, THE MORNING FLIES BY. I thought it would drag like crazy, but there are a lot of new programmes I need to learn. In all fairness Susannah has been pretty good, friendly, a little over-friendly if anything. As elevenses rollsaround, we both go for a coffee in the chill out room.
“Mr Freeman’s a fantastic boss Coral, I'm sure you’re going to get along just fine, everybody likes him. He really is one of the nicest people I have ever met.” Susannah says.
Jeez, she’s simply gushing about him.
“Yeah…he seems like he really looks after his staff. Joyce said he really cares, which is pretty unusual,” I reply.Play it cool Coral!
“Of course, you wouldn’t know why?” She says with a smug smile on her face. Grrrrr!
“Sorry?” I act bewildered.
“It’s not common knowledge.” She says flicking her long blonde, perfectly straightened, shiny hair.
“What isn’t?” Susannah looks around her to make sure no one is within hearing distance. So she’s a gossip too, I hate gossipers!
“The suicide?” She whispers, her eyes sparkling. That’s weird? Why would someone’s eyes sparkle about that?
“Suicide?” I whisper, frowning at her.
Susannah nods once, and moves closer to me, I don’t like it.
“Ten years ago, an employee killed himself. The cleaners found him, he’d…well you don’t need to know the gory details. Point is, after that happened Tristan changed. I think he felt guilty that he didn’t know that the guy was having so many problems. Anyway, after that he pulled everyone in individually, some people left, some stayed. Rumours flew around that he was helping some people out financially, but no names were ever mentioned.”
“Why did the guy kill himself? Did they find out?” I whisper.
Susannah’s eyes sparkle. “Apparently he was a secret gambler. Had a wife and kids, but was buried up to his ass in debt.” She really seems to be enjoying herself. Who thinks that giving news out like that is fun? Ok the guy had an addiction, but that’s no reason to think it’s cool to gossip about his death. The guy died for goodness sake, left a wife and kids.
“Do you think Tr–Mr Freeman would have paid off the debt?” I ask, thinking back to what Tristan told me about his other P.A, what was her name?
“Probably, want another?” She asks, pointing to my cup.
“No, no thanks,” I say, trying not to frown.
Susannah walks away which gives me a moment to take in what she’s said.Now it all makes sense, Tristan did feel guilty about what happened, that’s why he helps others out so much, he doesn’t want the same thing happening again, which of course is understandable. But I don’t understand why he thinks it’s his responsibility to be like that, he runs a business not a charity.
Ok, maybe I'm just too cold hearted about people, and Tristan is the opposite. Maybe it comes from his folks, caring about others, helping them out.Either way, I feel sick to my stomach. Why didn’t he tell me? I hate that Susannah knows and I don’t - Boy we’ve got some talking to do!
I feel a little dazed as we head back to my desk, but I'm soon pre-occupied with these stupid ass new programmes.
Grrrr I hate this, I hate change!
There’s no way I'm going to remember all of this, not with Tristan buzzing round my head and little miss prissy sitting next to me.I decide to ditch my plans for lunching with her, I really feel like I need a break from her.There’s something I can’t quite put my finger on, something strange and unnerving about her, she’s too friendly, and I don’t like the way I can feel her watching me.
I shrug it off, deciding it’s probably my own petty jealously and the fact that she’s another new person I have to deal with, either way, I'm lunching on my own.
When I look up at the clock for the fifth time since our break, it finally says 12.30pm.
“Well, I’m off for lunch,” I say to Susannah.
“Oh, ok.” She seems surprised.
I smile weakly at her, and head for the ladies, thinking about last night and what Tristan said to me about dresses, he can be so sweet and romantic!
Oh Tristan!.....
WE ARE SAT ON THE SOFA IN THE CINEMA ROOM. I’m trying to concentrate on what Tristan’s telling me, but I just keep going back to eating out and what the hell I’m going to wear. I decide in that moment to be brave, get my arse out there tomorrow on lunch and buy a god damn cocktail dress –Be confident Coral, you can do this!–I have to agree with myself, but before I attempt to do this, I have to ask the question.
“So hopefully, once that plan is put into action, I should only have to go up to Leeds once a month. You can come with me if you like, meet Karen.” Tristan has thrown me from my question.
“Um...sure, that would be nice,” I say picking at the blanket Tristan draped over us.
“What? You’ve gone serious?” He says.
“Tristan are you...do you like dresses? You know cocktail dresses, and heels and all that kind of stuff?” I exhale loudly, glad I got it all out in one go.
“Why do you ask?” His face falls as he frowns back at me.
“Just curious,” I say trying to act casual, I take a big glug of my wine hoping it will give me some DutchCourage – I think I need it!
Tristan is watching me, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.
“Coral as far as I'm concerned you would look sexy in a bin-bag. Wear what you want darling, what you feel comfortable in.” Damn it! How does he do that?
“So you don’t like’ –“I'm not saying that,” he interrupts, staring at his wine glass.
“Then please answer the question,” I plead.
Tristan sighs, then looks across at me.“Yes, yes I do.”
“And stocking and suspenders and all that lingerie kind of thing?” I squeak.
Tristan’s eyes dilate.“How did we go from dresses to’– “I just want to know,” I interrupt, batting my lashes at him for optimal effect.
Tristan shakes his head slightly as though he’s been stunned, picks up my hand and kisses the back of it, then leaning forward, he moves in so we are almost nose to nose.
“Baby you are the sexiest woman I have ever met… the most attractive woman I have ever seen in my life. I really meant it when I said you could make a bin-bag look good. So please, if you want to wear that kind of thing then do it for yourself, not for me. Ok?” Wow, he sure knows how to melt my heart with words.
“Ok,” I squeak in reply, but it still hasn’t answered my question. So I'm going for a yes, I mean, what man doesn’t right? So tomorrow, I’ll be lingerie shopping too…
THE DOOR TO THE LADIES SWINGS OPEN. I look up and see it’s one of the other secretaries, she smiles awkwardly at me and goes into one of the stalls. I look down and see I still have soapy hand-wash dripping between my fingers.Good God Coral, get a grip!
Frantically washing and drying my hands, so I don’t have to make conversation, I quickly exit the ladies.Returning to my desk, I see Susannah is sitting in my seat and she’s already on the internet.
“Well I'm off,” I say, picking up my handbag and my mobile from my desk drawer. Knocking on Joyce’s door, I walk in and check if she needs anything.
“No darling you go on ahead.” Joyce tells me. As I'm stood in her office I think about the dress I'm about to purchase, and the fact that I don't have Rob or Carlos to call on to help me choose the right one. So maybe Joyce is my best bet?
“Um...Joyce,” I look up at her.
“Hmm?” She’s concentrating hard on whatever she’s reading.
“Where...” I sound croaky, so I clear my throat. “Where would I go to get a cocktail dress?”
Joyce cocks her head to the side, looks over the rim of her glasses and smiles at me.
“Shopping on lunch?” I nod vigorously, hoping and praying she won’t ask me what it’s all about.“No time then, I’d say Coast. It’s down on East Street.” God I'm going to miss her. “They have some lovely dresses, and their sizing is good, none of this ‘it’s half t
he size it says it is’ nonsense.” I chuckle knowing exactly what she means.
“Thank you Joyce.” I walk over to her desk and kiss her lightly on the cheek. “You’re a life saver.” She beams up at me.
“Don’t worry if you run over a little bit, I’ll keep Susannah busy.” Joyce adds.
“Oh, ok thanks.” I walk out of her office with renewed enthusiasm. I am going to buy a dress!
“Hey Coral,” I stop just as I'm walking past my desk, and look down at Susannah.
“Yes?” Maybe she wants me to pick something up for her?
“Are you free tonight? I thought it might be nice for us to get to know each other a little more.” She smiles sweetly at me, but her eyes are hiding something. There really is something weird there!
“Actually, I have a gym class Mondays and Thursdays, so I can’t, sorry.” I go to walk off, but she stops me again.
“And tomorrow?” she shouts.
I turn back and stare at her, she has her legs crossed, her eyes narrowed, and she’s tapping her pen on the paper pad. Is she trying to work out where I go and what I do?
“I have a regular spa appointment.” I lie and go to walk off again.
“And Wednesday?” I turn around again and see she’s trying to hide the fact that she’s gritting her teeth. I feel a strange warning sensation start at the back of my neck and trickle down the length of my spine –She knows! I swear to god she knows about me and Tristan! Shit!
“My mother invited me this morning to have tea with her Wednesday,” I answer. Trying to work out what it is about her that I recognise, something that I’ve seen before?
“Well as you’resobusy in the week, how about Friday?” she bites.
I glare back at her. Why do I get the feeling the answer to this question is pivotal?
“Can’t, out with friends,” I answer artlessly.
She glares at me for another moment then turns back to the screen. I frown deeply at the very odd conversation that just ensued and scuttle out of the office, down the stairs, through reception and into the bright sunlit day. That was weird, she’s weird!
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 60