Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him

by Clair Delaney

  “Shit, sorry!” She gasps, then runs over to me and pulls me into a bear hug. “My little sister,” she chokes, “finally getting hitched!”

  “Yeah…” I gasp. “Debs, you’re crushing me!”

  “Oh sorry,” she sniffs, stepping back. She smiles warmly at me, her cheeks red and tear stained, but I can also see the apprehension behind her smile – she’s worried.

  “When you come over, I’ll tell you everything,” I whisper to her.

  Her mouth pops open in surprise.“Oh…ok.” She nods once at me, her eyebrows still pulled together then turns to Tristan. “Congratulations!” she says reaching up to hug him.

  Tristan and I are then passed from person to person for more hugs and congratulations. Gladys, Debs, Joyce, Erin and Ellie all admire my ring, and agree it’s a beautiful piece. Yep, Tristan did very well, I think to myself.

  Until finally, I am back in Tristan’s arms and everyone is chatting again.

  “Coral,” Rob says marching over to us. “We have so much to do. Have you two really thought about this?” He adds, crossing his arms.

  We both grin at Rob. “Rob, we haven’t just decided to do this on a whim!”

  He shakes his head in frustration. “Ok, ok. But there’s so much to do,” he frantically says. “But first things first, you guys need to get your wedding rings sorted,” he orders.

  “Coral and I will take a look online tomorrow,” Tristan tells him.

  “Oh…ok good.” Rob says. “I’ll get onto the registrar, and Coral, you need to take a look at wedding dresses – like today! If you like what I picked out we need to order it Pronto!”

  “Ok, Rob, calm down…” I say, but Rob seems frantic. “Rob, if this is going to stress you out…?”

  “No, it won’t,” he says. “But we need to get organised!”

  “Ok, ok, come by tomorrow and we can spend all afternoon getting organised,” I giggle.

  He seems to relax a little. “Ok, tomorrow,” he says…

  TWO HOURS LATER WE FINALLY have the house to ourselves. Nurse Terry has been and given me another shot, Edith and Stuart have both retired for the evening, and after a wonderful spread of food, and plenty of champagne, my family and friends have gone home; a little worse for wear I might add. It’s weird not drinking when other people do!

  I am stood in the bedroom, gazing out at the stars, it’s a really clear night tonight. Tristan wraps his arms around me, his front to my back and kisses the top of my head.

  “Hey beautiful.” He says, kissing my hair.

  “I’ve been spoiled,” I say.

  “You think so?” He says.

  “Yes, so many presents. It’s…overwhelming!”

  “Coral, sometimes I don’t think you realise how much everyone loves you.”

  “I do…I just…” I trail off, turn around and wrap my arms around his back. “Thank you Tristan, for my presents, for today…for everything.”

  He chuckles slightly, I feel it vibrate through me.“You are most welcome,” he says.Hmm, feels so nice, wrapped up in his warm arms, I could stay here forever.“Come on, let’s get ready for bed.” He says, kissing the top of my head again.

  “Ok.” Reluctantly, I release my arms from his waist.

  Tristan helps me undress, until I’m practically naked; well apart from my knickers.“Tired?” he asks as he slips one of his t-shirts over my head.

  “No,” I say. “Why are you putting this on me?” I ask.

  “So I can't see that gorgeous naked body of yours,” he says, grinning widely at me. “Come on, into bed.”Tristan pulls the covers back and I gently slide myself in.

  “I’m not tired,” I say, in-fact I feel wired. “I spoke to Bob.”

  “Yeah?” Tristan unbuttons his shirt, and pulls it off, revealing his very sexy torso.I immediately lose my train of thought.Every muscle down below instantly clenches in delight – Man I want him!

  He slowly saunters over to the chair in the room, throws his shirt over it and strips off his trousers, so he’s just stood there, naked in the room; well apart from his boxers.

  “Tristan, can you please stop parading round the room half naked and put on some clothes!” I scold. He stops, slowly turns to me and smiles that enigmatic smile of his. Holy Crap!

  “I’m not kidding!” I squeak, wanting to throw a pillow at him. “You have the same effect on me you know,” I grumble.

  “Ah, then I’m not being fair,” he says and quickly covers himself up with a t-shirt.

  I shake my head at his teasing ways.

  “So,” he says climbing into bed. “What did Bob have to say?”

  We both scoot down so we are lying on our pillows, facing one another.

  “What were you talking to George about?” I question.

  “You first.” He grins – Git!

  “Fine! I gave him our offer of moving in with us,” I say.

  “And?” Tristan prompts.

  “He said he’ll think about it. Oh and he’s coming over tomorrow for a roast dinner.”

  “Did you tell Edith?”

  “I asked Edith and she said yes. Oh, and I invited Rob and Carlos, if they’re coming over they should eat too,” I say.

  “Good idea.” Tristan grins.

  “Now, I don’t want you to moan at me, because it will only take about ten minutes, but I will be in the kitchen tomorrow. I’m going to show Edith how to make West Indian Roast Chicken.”

  “Are you now?” Tristan teases.

  “Yes, I am.” I say a little petulantly.

  “As you wish,” he teases some more. I laugh and shake my head at him, then my face falls remembering what’s going on tomorrow. Ugh!

  “Nine o’clock,” I grumble.

  “For the detective?” Tristan guesses.

  “Yeah…I’m looking forward to that like a hole in the head,” I grumble.

  “Baby, if this is too much…?” He says.

  “No, I think I’d rather get it done, out of the way,” I muse.

  “Ok.” He says.

  “So…” I say tucking my good hand under my pillow.

  “So…” Tristan says doing the same. I can't help giggling, Tristan starts chuckling too.Why am I finding this funny?

  “Why are you laughing?” I laugh.

  “I have no idea!” He chuckles.

  “We need to talk,” I titter.

  “I know,” Tristan sighs.

  “Do you want to go first?” I ask.

  “Do you want me to answer all the questions you fired at me earlier?” He teases.

  “You remember?” I ask, quite astonished.

  “Yes baby, I do.”

  “Ok,” I whisper.

  Tristan shakes his head. “I’ve changed my mind, ladies before gentleman.”

  I frown back at him. “Ok. Why were you frosty with Dr Green?”

  “Next question,” Tristan says, his jaw clenching, his pupils dilating. Grrrrr!

  “Why?” I question, frowning at him.

  “Next question,” he warns. Ok, maybe leave that one for last!

  “Ok,” I sigh. “Why did you want to walk out on me, after I told you about Susannah?”

  Tristan sighs. “I am so very sorry that I reacted that way Coral. I pride myself on being able to read people very well, and I got it so wrong with Susannah; and I was so mad, about so many things’ – “What things?” I interrupt.

  “Well, when you showed me that report, I realised I had got it completely wrong with Olivia.’ – My heart sinks – ‘You were right Coral, I should have believed her, not Susannah. But then again I’m glad it ended, because if it hadn’t I wouldn’t be here now with you.”

  Ok, feeling better!

  “Ok, but it still doesn’t explain why you picked up your jacket and went to walk out on me? It really hurt me when you said ‘I have to get away from you’ I never thought you would ever say anything like that to me.”

  Tristan closes his eyes for a moment.“I know, I was mad with you for n
ot telling me sooner, mad with you for investigating it all, mad that it was you stood in front of me with information that was making my whole world shift on its axis, and I was mad with myself because I had put you in harm’s way. If you were right and Susannah was unstable, I’d not seen it and she could have done anything to you…” Tristan trails off.

  “So you just wanted some space?” I question.

  “Yes, I was never going to leave you Coral. I was just so frustrated, I can remember thinking, ‘why couldn’t it have been Joyce, or Stu that was handing me this information?’But oh no! It had to be you. I was also worried, I didn’t want you involved, especially if it was true, which it turned out to be.” He says, his cheeks flushing, his eyes darkening.

  I can't help frowning, it still doesn’t answer the question.

  “What?” he asks, gently stroking my cheek.

  “When I grabbed my bag and I asked you if it was over’ – His lips press against mine, instantly silencing me.“I never answered you,” he says.

  “I know, but you know me, I think the worst, I can't help it.”

  “Coral, never in a million years…I just needed some time alone.”

  “Then why didn’t you just say that at the time, like ‘no we’re not over I just want some space’ that wouldn’t have been hard to say, and I’d at least have known where we stood. But instead, you tell me to go?”

  “I know…I know it was stupid and wrong and…” Tristan shakes his head. “I think it’s fair to say that I’ve learned a hell of a lot. About myself, about you, about relationships…I want to put this right Coral. The last thing in the world I want is for us to be fighting and you’re secretly wondering when I’m going to walk out, because I’m not, and I won’t, ever. I promise you that.”

  “I promise I won’t either,” I say. “No matter how mad I am with you.”

  “Good.” Tristan leans in and softly kisses me. Oh boy! Here we go again, my libido is wide awake and ready to rock.

  “Stop,” I mumble against his lips. “No more kissing,” I breathe.

  “Why?” Tristan smiles.

  “Because I can't take it any further, and right now I want to!”

  “Me too,” he says, smirking at me.

  I shake my head and laugh. “Stop it, it’s not funny!”

  “No, it’s not!” He says, still chuckling.

  “What did you do when I left?” I ask.

  Tristan instantly stops laughing.“I told you, I called Susannah, we talked and she denied it. Then I went for a swim to clear my head, I was about to head out to find you when Susannah knocked on my door.”

  “You…you were going to come and find me?” I squeak.

  “Yes. I figured you were at Rob’s, but I didn’t know where that was, so I was about to call Joyce see if she knew.”He was going to come and get me, just like before!

  “Oh!” I swallow hard. “Any more questions?” He asks.

  “Yes,” I whisper, closing my eyes. “Did you speak to Olivia?”

  “No, I didn’t get the chance.”

  I open my eyes and gaze at him. “Do you want to call Olivia?” I ask, biting my bottom lip.

  Tristan leans forward and releases my lip from my teeth.“Coral are you asking out of curiosity, or because you think I still have feelings for her?”I snort, caught out!

  “Both…I think?” I say frowning.

  Tristan frowns back at me. “Coral, there’s no feelings there’ – “So if you had to choose?” I interrupt.

  “It would be you,” he tells me firmly.

  “Ok, good.” I breathe, feeling satisfied.

  Tristan chuckles again. “Green eyed monster!”

  “I know, it’s not nice. I just…if you do still like her, I’d rather know now. I just want you to be sure this is really what you want, not what you think you want. I want reassurance that if Olivia was suddenly back on the market, you wouldn’t go running to her.”

  “No way,” Tristan says shaking his head. “Is that ever going to happen. What you and I have is so much stronger than what I had with Olivia. It’s you I want,” he reiterates.

  Ok, feeling loads better about what happened, and Tristan’s feelings for Olivia.

  “Would it bother you if I did call her?” he asks. “I’d like to apologise to her, maybe she’ll forgive me?” He muses.

  “I don’t mind,” I say. “But it’s doubtful she’ll forgive you. She sounded angry and upset on the phone.”

  “Oh…” His face pales.

  “Hey, we all make mistakes. No one’s perfect,” I add.

  “I guess,” he says, staring down at the bedding.

  “Tristan.” He looks up at me. “I want to organise a grave for my Mom tomorrow?”

  He frowns, looking worried. “We already have enough going on tomorrow. I don’t want you over exerting yourself. Besides, after speaking to Gladys I called the Psychiatric Facility. They kept your mother’s belongings along with her ashes for you to collect, and I have located a plot at Hove Cemetery, or you could go for an alternative,” he says.

  “An alternative?” I question.

  “Yes, when I did some research, I found there’s a place called Woodland Burial. It’s a non-traditional, echo friendly way of burying someone. Instead of a grave stone, you plant a tree.”

  “A tree?” I squeak.

  “You don’t like the idea?” He asks.

  “Tristan, I love it…and I think we should go with that option, but when did you sort of all this?” I ask incredulously.

  He shrugs. “While you were recovering in hospital.”

  “Oh…” Wow, he’s done so much! – He’s talked to the detective, re-designed this bedroom, got Edith and Stu living here, organised the party, sorted out my mother’s burial; and bought me two beautiful birthday presents.“Tristan,” I whisper, tears pooling in my eyes. “Thank you, you’ve done so much, you’ve been wonderful,” I sniff.

  “Oh baby, don’t cry.” He says, as he gently strokes my cheek.

  “Sorry,” I sniff again.Tristan gently pulls me to him, wrapping his arm carefully around me. I snuggle closer to him, feeling safe and protected.

  “Know this, my beautiful girl. It’s not that I don’t want you to cry, I’d rather you do it in front of me than hide it. It just…hurts, a lot, to see you upset. I want to see you happy, not sad.” He kisses my head again. Oh Tristan!

  I look up at him. “Ok. You can always cry in front of me too, you know that, right?”

  Tristan chuckles, but I notice his cheeks flush red. “Yeah baby, I know.”

  “Can we go see my studio tomorrow?” I say, feeling weird about going out.

  Tristan frowns deeply. “No baby, how many times do I have to say it? I don’t want you over exerting yourself. What are you worried about?” he asks.

  I feign innocence. “I don’t know… I just want to see it I guess.” I say, looking away.

  Tristan scoots down, and takes my face in his hands. “Coral, be honest with me,” he says. “You looked a little frightened then, what is it?”

  I sigh inwardly. “Ok…ok…I’m freaking out about going outside again, and I don’t know why?” I say, feeling stupid.

  “That’s normal baby,” he says.

  “It is?” I squeak.

  “Yes, victims of traumatic events often take several weeks to process what happened, and even then, it can take a while to get back to normality.” He softly says.

  “Normality?” I snort. “Tristan, you should know I’ve never been normal,” I tease.

  “Hey!” He warns. “Stop making a joke of it.”

  I frown again. “Maybe I need to see Cindy?” I muse.

  “That’s a good idea. George said you’ve spoken to him and he’s coming here Tuesday afternoon. Maybe he can bring Cindy with him?” He strokes my cheek again, calming me.

  “Ok, I’ll call him. But I still need to sort my studio,” I say.

  His puppy dog eyes are back. “Darling, I had your studio packed u
p. It’s all in boxes downstairs.” He says, looking a little guilty.

  “It is?” I gasp, staring back at him with wide eyes.

  “Yes, in the big reception room.” He says, smoldering me.

  I swallow hard. My studio, all packed up! How weird is that? “Why did you do that?” I ask.

  “Well, when the detectives had finished…Edith and I boxed everything up for you. I didn’t think you’d want to go back there, and I knew you wouldn’t be in any state to pack it all up. I threw away the clothes Susannah shredded though, I hope you don’t mind?” He softly says.

  “No, I don’t mind. So my studio is empty and locked up?” I say, blinking rapidly. I’ll never live there again – That is weird!

  “Yes, apart from the furniture.” He says, smiling softly at me.

  “Ok,” I say. I’m not really sure how I feel about that.

  “You just need to decide what to do with it, when you’re ready that is.” Tristan adds.

  Then it hits me, my bills, my mortgage! Holy crap! – I go to scoot out of bed so I can fire my laptop up and transfer some money, but Tristan stops me.

  “Coral, what are you doing?” He asks, his arm stretched across me.

  “I need to put my laptop on Tristan!” I squeak in a panic.

  “Why? Why do you look panicked?” He asks, his jaw clenching.

  “I’m not panicking Tristan, I just don’t want to get charged.” I say a little breathlessly.

  He frowns deeply. “Charged? For what?” He asks.

  “For being late on my mortgage, and my bills. I need to transfer some money across to-” I stop talking because Tristan is looking very sheepish right now. “What have you done?” I huff. I already know this is going to have something to do with money.

  “You had your monthly wage go into your account from Garland’s, so you have no need to worry.” He says, his eyes cast down, his face serious, but I can see his lips trying to twitch up into a smile – He’s definitely done something!

  “And?” I prompt. He’s still not looking at me. “Look at me Tristan.” He knows I’m not going to like this. He sighs, then trying to fight his smile, he looks up at me.

  “I transferred some money across to your account. I wasn’t sure if your wages covered everything, so I thought better to be safe than sorry.” He says, smiling widely at me now.