“Well I am,” I retort, feeling shocked by his words.
“Yes, I can see that,” he says a ghost of a smile on his lips.
“Look, Justin’ – “I am sorry Coral, for everything, for doing what I did, for hurting you...I guess you could say I’ve grown up, seen the light...and in all that time we’ve been apart, there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I haven’t thought of you.” No fucking way!
“Justin...” I swallow hard, then look across at Tristan, he looks like he’s about to expire. “You need to go, now.” I say, and turn to unlock the patio door.
“That’s it?” He says, his voice trembling. “I tell you all of that and that’s all you have to say?”
I take a deep breath and turn to face him.“Justin I'm engaged. This is my fiancé Tristan Freeman.” His mouth pops open, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of us. I don't think he believes me.
I lift up my left hand, he stares down at the ring on my finger for a moment. Putting my hand down, I take a step closer to him, we are only inches apart, and I'm thrown back in time for a moment – Whoa! I always did like his smell!
I look up at him looking down at me, his baby blue eyes scorching me. He’s tall, but not as tall as Tristan, but his body has changed so much, he’s bulked up like Tristan, but not as big, and this t-shirt he’s wearing...it looks really, really good on him – Coral, what are you doing? – I shake my head to get myself together, then I take a deep breath and say my piece.
“Look J, it doesn’t matter that your back in Brighton. It doesn’t matter that you’ve missed me, or that you want me back. It’s never going to happen, ever. I love Tristan’ – “He doesn’t know you like I know you.” He interrupts, his voice giving away his feelings – He’s hurt!
“No J that’s where you’ve got it wrong. You remember how you were always trying to get me to talk to you, to tell you things about myself, why I'm the way I am?” I softly say.
He slowly nods once.“You...you wanted so much from me that I couldn’t give you, that’s because it wasn’t meant to be with you, it was meant to be with him.” I say glancing over to Tristan, I can see the relief in his eyes. “Tristan knows everything about me, you don't.”
“But that’s not fair Coral, how can I compete with that...if you won't let me in...?” He says, shaking his head in disagreement.
“Justin. You and me, it’s never going to happen. I'm getting married in two weeks.” Justin looks completely devastated.
“Please...” he begs, swallowing hard. “Don't do this Coral, give me another chance. Just...let’s meet up, try again. I’ve missed you treacle, so badly.”
Oh!...I used to love when he called me that – Get a grip Coral! – I take a deep breath, pull my shoulders back and look him square in the eye.
“Justin, you ripped my heart out and stamped all over it. I don't care what your excuses are for your actions back then, the point is, I would never, ever have done that to you, no matter how unhappy I was. That’s a huge difference in values don't you think? And well, Tristan and I, we share the same values. I know that without a shadow of a doubt he would never, ever do that to me’ – “Damn right!” Tristan pipes up, interrupting me. It makes me want to smile, but I don't and continue.
“And you did Justin! It’s something I can forgive, and I do forgive you, and part of me will always love you, but it was over the moment I caught you two at it!” I spit.
“Please...” He begs again, his eyes closed for a second. “I can make you happy, you know I can, let me make it up to you.” I suddenly start to feel faint. I'm not sure if it’s the relentless sun beating down on me, or Justin’s words, or both, but either way I need to sit down before my legs give way.
“Tristan.” I reach my hand out to him, he’s instantly over to me.
“What is it?” He softly asks, gripping me by the waist.
“I feel faint.” I whisper, closing my eyes and leaning against him.
“Keys?” I drop them into his hands. He walks us the couple of steps to the door, unlocks it, yanks it open, lifts me into his arms and carries me over to the sofa. Releasing me, he dashes over to the sink, fills a glass with water and comes back over to me. Kneeling in front of me, he hands me the glass.“Here, take a sip, it’s nice and cold.” He adds.
I put the glass to my lips and take a welcome sip. I'm instantly reminded of the first time he was attentive like this, the day of my hangover, the day he was at the office and caught me scoffing that muffin, then my reaction when he told me Joyce had sold, he dashed off to get me water back then – I shake my head and almost laugh at the crazy situation.
“Coral?” Justin goes to take a step inside the studio.
Tristan is instantly to his feet.“You need to leave. Now.” He threatens in a cold, hard voice – He is radiating tension.
“No.” Justin argues, crossing his arms.
“Do you want me to help you leave?” Tristan threatens. Oh crap!
Justin holds his arms out wide, a slight smile on his face – Oh, you really don't want to upset Tristan like that!
“Bring it on!” He sneers at Tristan.
Tristan’s hands bunch into fists. I can tell he’s itching to chuck Justin out. “If you actually did give a fuck about her, you’d see she’s in no state to be dealing with this!” Tristanhisses through gritted teeth.
“Justin!” I shout. “Go now, I mean it!”
Justin puts his hands in his pockets and stays where he is, he hasn’t taken his eyes away from me. “Do you want me to leave?” He asks me.
“Yes! I’ve already asked you to!” I snap, glaring at him.
Finally, after what seems like an eternity, he nods once looking down at the floor then looks up at me. “I’ll see you soon Coral,” he says with a determined look on his face.
I shake my head at him and look away. He always was a cocky son-of-a-bitch!
Tristan walks over to the air-con, switches it onto full, then heads over and pulls the patio door shut.
“Is he gone?” I ask.
“Yes.” He hisses.
“Thank you,” I whisper, taking another sip.
“What for?” Tristan asks, his hands fisting at his side as he stares out at Justin’s retreating figure.
“For not trying to take over, for letting me say my piece.” I watch him walk back over to me, kneel down and gently stroke my cheek, then he leans in for a kiss.
I pucker my lips playfully, and press them hard against his. Hmm he tastes so good.
“I'm very proud of you,” he says pulling back.
“You are?” I squeak, surprised.
“Yes, I thought you were going to punch him in the face, but you did really well. You were mad, I could see that and you handled it.” He says, I think with pride.
“I don't feel like I handled it,” I choke.
“You did Coral.” I can't help laughing at that one. “Now, tell me, how are you feeling? Are you still faint?”
“No, I'm good now,” I say.
“Well I think we should go home, you’ve had enough excitement for one day.” He firmly tells me.
“I thought we had a deal?” I say, purposely pouting.
“A deal?” He questions.
“Yes! No moaning about going home and no broodiness?” I firmly say. Hmph!
“Yes...well, that was before’ – “Tristan, I’ll say it again. When are you going to learn that I'm stronger than I look?” He smiles, then frowns as he stares down at my hand with the catheter in it.“Look, I will admit, if you weren’t in my life and Justin had turned up, I would be a mess, and I’d be running to Rob to help me assimilate it all, all the feelings that I know would have come up. But you are in my life, and I couldn’t give a damn about what just happened. It’s no big deal, and I don't want it to affect our day together – capiche?” I add in an Al Capone accent.
“That was really good,” Tristan chuckles.
“I know, I can do accents quite well,” I say, chuckling along with
him.
“So it would seem.” He teases in an equally impressive Al Capone voice.
“Wow! So are you,” I say, chuckling some more.
Tristan suddenly stops laughing, his expression turning serious.“So really, you’re ok?” he asks.I lean forward and squeeze his cheeks so it makes his lips pucker up and kiss him.
“Yes,” I say, realising his cheeks.
“Ow!” He says, flexing his jaw. I giggle again. “Right, well I’ll be back in a second,” he says heading off for the bathroom.
The moment he shuts the door, my head falls into my hands – What the fuck just happened?
I stare blankly around my almost empty studio. I mean, everything I just said to Tristan is true, I don't care that Justin’s back, or that...he wants me back...or that...I drift off, my mind flooding with memories of Justin and I, because we were, at a certain point in our relationship, so in love with one another – No!
I grip my hair in my hands and try to push the images away. It’s Tristan I want, it’s Tristan I love, I can't live without him. Right on cue I hear Tristan washing his hands, any second now he’s going to come through that door – Right, game face on Coral!
I take a deep breath, push all thoughts of Justin away, get to my feet and walk over to the kitchenette. Opening one of the cupboards, I see my plates, cups, and glasses are still here. I can't really see the point in packing them up, taking them back with us, Tristan and I already picked a set that we are using – Hmm...what to do?
“Uh-oh,” Tristan teases as he reaches me. “Should I have packed those?”
“No...” I shake my head and close the cupboard. “I was just thinking what to do with them?”
“Oh.” He says lightly.
“Actually I was thinking about all the furniture...If I rent this place out, it will need all this stuff anyway, won't it?” I say gesturing to the general area.
“Yes, it will. But you might want to change the sofa.” He suggests.
“Why?” I frown up at him.
“Most people who rent these out have a futon or sofa-bed instead.” He simply says.
“Why?” I ask, incredulously, those things, as far as I know are really uncomfortable.
Tristan shrugs his shoulders. “Get more money if it can sleep four people.” He tells me.
“Seriously?” I scoff. “Even though it has an open gallery bedroom? I mean...it’s not like...you know...either couple would be able to’ – “Have sex without being heard?” Tristan says, finishing my sentence for me with a wicked grin.
“Yes!” I giggle, feeling a little nervous that he can read me that easily! “You did a good job,” I add, looking around the baron room. I suddenly realise there’s no blood stain on the floor from where Bob was lying – I quickly squash that line of thinking.
“Shall we go up?” Tristan asks.
“Up?” I question.
“Yes. Don't you want to check if I got everything from your bedroom?” He asks, with raised eyebrows.
“Oh...well I suppose so,” I say trying to work out Tristan’s odd expression.
Taking his hand, I follow him up the creaking stairs.What is that sweet smell?The moment we reach the bedroom, Tristan takes a step back and gestures to the room – Oh wow!
There are twinkly lights, lots of electric candles, and wild flowers everywhere making the room smell divine. Why has he done this?
“When did you do this?” I squeak, my mouth hanging open as I scan the bedroom.
“I didn’t, well I wanted to do this, but I didn’t want to leave you either, so I asked Edith, she came down early this morning with Stuart.” He smiles. “Do you like it?”Is he kidding?
“Like it?” I scoff. “Tristan, it looks magical,” I say, beaming from ear to ear. “But why have you’ – “Why have I done this?” I nod, unable to say anymore.
Tristan takes my hand, leads me over to my bed and sits me down, then kneeling down in front of me, he looks up at me with those puppy dog eyes of his.“What’s the last memory you have of this place?”
I swallow hard. “Seeing Bob on the floor...” I whisper, unable to say anymore.
“Thought so, well I wanted to change that.” He softly says.
“You do?” I squeak.
“Yes.” I stare around the room again. “Plus, I’ve never made love to you here,” he adds.
My mouth pops open. I stare down at him, a little shocked.“You...you want to make love – now?” I manage to squeak out.
Tristan smiles shyly at me. “I thought it would be a nice way to replace the old memory,” he says a little nervously, looking down at my hand again.
“Make love – now?” I choke, almost laughing.
“If you don't want to...” He says, looking a little hurt.
“Yes.” I smile down at him. “I do.”What a wonderful thing to have done. See Justin wouldn’t have done something like this!
“But can you tell me something first?” I ask.
“Anything.” He smiles his dazzling smile at me.
I swoon for a second then snap out of it.“Are you ok?”
“Me?” He questions, his brows knitting together.
“Um...yeah,” I shake my head. “Tristan, my ex just turned up on my doorstep confessing his love for me – aren’t you upset about that?”
“Should I be?” He questions. Huh?
“You mean...me?” I quickly surmise.
“Do you still have feelings for him Coral?” He asks, his brows pulled together.
“Tristan, what I said to him was true. There will always be a part of me that will love him, but it’s over. It’s you I love, you I want, it’s you I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
He smiles shyly at me.“Then I have nothing to fear, and no, I'm not upset. I'm not going to say it didn’t kill me to see you standing so close to him though...” He trails off.
I smile shyly at him, lean down, take his face in my hands and softly kiss him....
TRISTAN IS HELPING ME PULL my t-shirt over my head. I can't help giggling as I look up at him. That was fun, very sweet and will – without a shadow of a doubt – be the best memory I will ever take away from this place.
“Thank you,” I whisper, smiling shyly at him.
“Oh Coral...it is indeed my pleasure.” He teases, his eyes glinting wickedly, I can't help laughing. “So what now my beautiful darling girl?” He asks, leaning down to kiss me. Oh!
My heart melts, he really is on top form today. “Um...” I try to get my brain firing again. “How about some ice-cream?” I say.
“Ice-cream?” He asks frowning down at my odd reaction – Get a grip Coral!
“Uh-huh! Ice-cream and a walk on the beach.” I manage to squeak out.
“Your wish, my command.” He says leaning down to kiss me again. I watch Tristan walk over to the candles and starts flicking them off, he does the same with the twinkly lights.“Shall I get Stuart to take the flowers back to the house?” He asks.I don't answer him, because something’s really bothering me...niggling away in the back of my mind. I try to work out what it is?
“Coral?” He stops what he’s doing and stares down at me.
Then I remember – Holy fuck! – Bile rises into my throat.I whip my head round to look at Tristan, my eyes wide with fear.
“What’s wrong?” He whispers, frozen just like me.
“The CCTV,” I mouth, my voice unable to get the words out, my mouth completely dry.
I squeeze my eyes shut. It will have recorded us...having sex...just like...just like when I was a kid – Oh god, I feel sick...No, no, no....I sink onto the bed feeling completely horrified.
“Coral?” Tristan is straight over to me, his one hand on my forehead, his other hand holding my good hand.“Baby, what’s wrong, you’ve gone as white as a ghost.”
“The CCTV,” I whisper, my voice barely audible.
“Gone,” he says, frowning up at me.I instantly relax, but now I feel a cold damp sweat layering my body, the afte
r affects of the shock.“Coral, you didn’t really think I’d’ – “No,” I interrupt, “Not intentionally, of course not.”
Tristan sags with relief. “Good, you ok?”
“Getting there,” I breathe.
Tristan leans forward and kisses my forehead. “You’re sweating!”
I look down and see my hands are shaking – Fuck! Not now...please....we’re having such a wonderful day.
“Back in a sec!” Tristan dashes off, moments later he returns with a tea towel in his hands.“Here baby,” he kneels down again and places the cold, wet towel against my forehead – Oh that’s so nice!
I close my eyes as it soothes and cools me. “Thank you,” I whisper.
“Coral, this is my fault. I'm so sorry baby. I should have told you I had it removed when we packed this place up – Shit!” I open my eyes and see Tristan run his hand through his hair in frustration.
“It’s ok,” I whisper. “Don't be mad at yourself.”
“Well I am.” He snaps.
“Please...don’t be. This has been such a great day so far, well apart from the crappy parts. We both seem so much happier, more relaxed. I want the whole day to be like this, so please...I’m begging you, don't spoil it.” I croak.
Tristan takes a deep breath in and slowly blows it out.“Ok baby.” He smiles up at me. “Feeling better?” He adds.
I smile down at him, that was not a nice feeling!– I need to get out of here!
“Yeah. Let’s go!” I say, slowly getting to my feet.
Tristan nods, takes the tea towel off my forehead, and we slowly head down the stairs...
WE’VE HAD THE MOST WONDERFUL MORNING. We ate ice-cream – which was another surprise as my favourite is rum & raisin, the same as Tristan - as we strolled hand in hand along the beach. Popped into the office, much to Joyce’s surprise, I met Karen, she’s really cool and I think, possibly, is going to become a new friend – who’s actually a girl!
And Joe, ah sweet Joe, is getting her kids back on Friday, she is beyond excited – I'm so pleased for her. I said I’d pop over to her place on Sunday, meet her kids, say hello.
And now we are sat inside a cute little bistro on North Laine as Tristan was too hot to sit outside, and we’ve just tucked into a really delicious salad.
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 112