“Careful baby,” he says, gently rubbing my back. Then he takes my arms from around his neck, and skims my cheeks with his knuckles again. “Are you in pain?”
“Yes.” I say, trying to catch my breath.
“Nurse Terry will be here soon.” He says, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him, I wrap my arms around his torso and rest my head on his shoulder.“Joyce is out, with Gladys,” he adds.
“Oh, I'm sorry baby.” I lean up and run my hands through his hair; he looks a little upset about it. “Oh!” Brainwave! “Tristan, call Malcolm. I know he plays and Gladys told mein the hospital that he really likes you, thinks you’re a fine man!” I say.
Tristan gazes adoringly at me.“You...are so sweet,” he says brushing his knuckles down my cheek.I laugh and smile shyly at him.“It’s a great idea baby, I’ll call him.” He adds, leaning down to peck me on the lips, then he stands and walks back into the house...
I AM STOOD ON THE DOORSTEP kissing Tristan goodbye. Apparently, Malcolm jumped at his offer, and also suggested they eat out too, so I know I won't see Tristan for hours – It’s already killing me knowing that fact.I hear the Jag rumbling down the driveway so I pull back and gaze up at Tristan.
“Have a good time baby,” I say, leaning up to peck him on the lips once more.
“Please, for me, be careful,” he says, kissing me back with a worried expression.
“I will, I promise.” Tristan pulls me into his arms and hugs me tight. Nurse Terry has been and given me another shot, so it doesn’t hurt too much.
Stuart pulls to a stop and Tristan, the gentleman that he is, walks over and opens the back door for Debs. She jumps out without even thanking him and runs towards me, arms open wide, and I can see she’s been crying, a lot –Oh no! Debs.
Reaching me, she hugs me a little too hard. “Oh Debs, what’s wrong?” I gasp, wincing in pain.
“Oh crap! Did I hurt you?” she says pulling back and checking me over.
“It’s ok,” I gasp again.
Tristan returns to us and leans down to kiss me goodbye again.
“See you soon baby,” he says, we gaze at one another for a couple of seconds.
“Bye,” I whisper, my heart cracking in two.
He takes my good hand, squeezes it once then turns to Debs. “Debbie, whatever is wrong, I hope you...well get it sorted,” he says, his cheeks flaming.
“Thanks.” She sniffs.
Tristan smiles softly at me once more, before heading over to the car. Opening the door, he looks back at me again, and holds my gaze for a couple of seconds, then he smiles at himself, gets into the car and shuts the door.
With a goofy grin on my face, I wave at Tristan as Stuart pulls away.“Come on,” I say, linking my arm in Debs. “Let’s get you a drink; you look like you could use one!”Debs smiles at me, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
We wonder back into the house and head straight into the kitchen.
“What do you fancy?” I ask.Debs shakes her head at me then bursts into tears, she puts her face in her hands and sobs, uncontrollably! – “Debs!”I dash around the breakfast bar and pull her into my arms, then I shuffle us over to the sofa and we sit, silently, with Debs cradled in my arms while she cries it out.
I don't know how long we stay like that for, but finally she stops crying, turns her head so we are face to face and swallows hard.“Scott’s having an affair,” she whimpers, blinking rapidly as fresh tears silently stream down her face.
“What!?” I bellow, jumping to my feet, my hands automatically bunching into fists.
“Calm down Coral,” she sighs, blowing her nose.
“Calm....do....” I can't even get the words out, I am that livid!
“Coral, I can't take it if you’re going to be like this. I know you love me and that’s why you’re so mad, but I need you to be calm, for me, please...” she begs, drying her tears with fresh tissues.
Oh!I take a deep breath and slowly blow it out – Ok, ok, calm Coral...calm...I nod at Debs and sit next to her. I take her hand in mine, linking our fingers together – she feels cold.
“Debs, your hand is cold, when was the last time you ate?” I softly ask.
“I...I don't know,” she whispers.
“Debs...you should eat,” I softly tell her. Jeez, I sound like Tristan!
“I don't have any appetite,” she sniffs.
I nod understanding that completely.“Do...do you want to talk about it?” I tentatively ask, knowing she has never confided in me.
Debs sighs heavily and seems to regain some of her composure. “It was a year ago...” She drifts off again. Huh?
“A...a year ago?” I say, frowning in confusion.
“Yeah...a new girl that started at Scott’s place...it had been going on for three months when...” Debs stops again and squeezes her eyes shut.
“Oh Debs, I'm so sorry,” I offer not knowing what else to say.
“He...Scott just came home one night, he’d organised for Lily to stay at her friends, said we needed some quality time together, then he sat me down and told me.”
“He...he told you?” I squeak.Debs nods several times. Whoa! I try to think of something logical to ask.“Um... well is it still going on?” I ask, she shakes her head at me.“And you know this, for certain?” I ask, she nods again.“That bastard!” I spit, I can't help it – He is a father to my niece, my sister’s husband, how dare he!“Sorry,” I immediately say. “I'm calm now,” I add, although I feel anything but calm – I need a drink. “Debs, let me get you a drink?”
“Please,” she sniffs.
“What would you like?” I ask, searching her face.
“I don't know,” she says, sniffing again with a little laugh.
“Wine?” She shakes her head – Hmm? “Vodka and orange?”
“Sounds good,” she sniffs.
“Be right back,” I say and head over to the kitchen. Edith appears with some clean washing in her hand.
“Hello Coral, would you like me to – Oh!” Edith stops as she sees Debs, sitting on the sofa.
“Edith, you remember my sister, Debbie?” I whisper.
“Yes,” she whispers back, her eyes wide. “Is she alright?” she asks, as I add ice to Debs drink.
“No, she not,” I say frowning deeply.
“Oh dear...Is there anything I can do?” she asks sweetly.
I turn and place my hand on her arm. “No, but thank you Edith, it’s very kind of you to ask.”
“Well...” She looks around the kitchen, not knowing what to do with herself. “I’ll...I’ll just be downstairs then, in the garden. If you need me just shout,” she says heading off in that direction – I can almost see the comedy side of it, almost.
I head back over to Debs. “Here you go,” I say sighing deeply and sitting next to her. “Debs, I don't quite understand, if it happened a year ago’ – “Spain.” She interrupts, taking several gulps of her drink.
“Spain?” Ok, now I'm really confused.
“I knew there was a part of me that had to forgive him, we hadn’t exactly been getting along that well’ – “It’s no excuse!” I spit. “Sorry, I won't interrupt again,” I quickly add.
Debs nods and continues.“Coral, take it from me, it’s not easy married life. You have to work at it, you have to make the time for one another, you have to keep letting each other know that that person is still so special to you, no matter how long you’ve been together. But Scott and I...I don't know we just kind of...started to drift apart.” She takes another drink.
“We love each other, make no mistake about that, but...I don't know, I think when you both work, you have a house, a kid, life just kind of gets in the way sometimes and you forget about each other, in that way I mean.”
“What are you trying to say Debs; you guys weren’t...having sex anymore?” I say, trying not to cringe.
“No of course not, we were...it’s just...” Debs stops and shakes her head. “You know if there’s o
ne thing I’ve learned is that men are more insecure than women, they just don't show it, or talk about it like women do. And believe it or not, what makes them feel secure is knowing that that can still satisfy you like no other man can.”Ew! Not sure if I want to hear this!
“Debs’ – “Fact of life Coral, you’d be wise to heed this information. Don't make the same mistakes I did.”
“What do you mean?” I whisper.
Debs sighs, takes another drink then laughs at herself. “Fantasies.” She says, draining her glass – Ok, I definitely don't want to hear this.
“Another?” I say taking her glass of her and walking into the kitchen, unfortunately, Debs follows me.
“You don't want me to tell you, do you?” she says.
“No...it’s not that, I just...” I shake my head, make her another drink, pour myself an orange juice and turn to stare at her. “Debs, sex isn’t exactly something I can...comfortably talk about.” There, I said it!
“What do you mean?” she asks, taking her drink off me. “I know you’ve always been shy...but that’s not what you meant, is it?”I slowly shake my head at her.“Then what do you mean Coral?”
“Come on, let’s sit,” I say heading back over to the sofa. We both sit and Debs waits patiently for me to continue.I take a deep breath, steel myself and say it. “Before I came to live with you and Gladys, I was sexually abused by a paedophile ring.”
“What!?” She screeches launching to her feet, her vodka and orange sloshing everywhere.
“Debs, this is going to sound ironic, but I need you to be calm right now.” I look up at her, my eyes pleading.
“Oh!” She stares down at me for a moment, blinking rapidly, then she knocks her drink back in one go, grabs a load of tissues, gets to her knees and cleans up the sloshes of liquid.When she done, she silently takes a seat next to me and takes hold of my hand.
“Why didn’t you tell me Coral?” she whispers, staring at the floor – I think she’s in shock.
“Not easy to tell someone something like that,” I say, taking a sip of juice. “Anyway, this isn’t about me, this is about you. I did plan on telling you everything, but in all honesty it’s not important. It was in the past and this is the present – and right now, we should be talking about you. So, fantasies?”
Debs turns and looks at me, her blue eyes wide. “Just like that?” she whispers.
I sigh inwardly, maybe I shouldn’t have told her yet? “Look Debs, you can ask me about it, but not now, some other time ok? What’s going on with you and Scott is much more important, so I’ll say again, fantasies?”
Debs swallows hard, frowning deeply and nods once.“Ok. Well, we weren’t being honest with each other; well actually, more like Scott wasn’t being honest with me. I thought we were satisfying each other in that area, but apparently not!” she scoffs.“So with that going on and us not really having the time for each other...well...Scott said he doesn’t feel anything for her, that he loves me, it’s just she was giving him his kicks, making him feel good about himself and I wasn’t.”
Talk about a kick in the teeth! – Keep it zipped Stevens!
“Ok,” I mumble, trying to understand.
“Coral, you can never blame one person when either partner has an affair, both people are to blame.” Debs tells me.
“Um...I guess,” I say, remembering Justin, remembering how he wanted to explore, try different things and I wouldn’t.I suddenly see things in a different light, I see things from his perspective. Still, I wouldn’t have shagged around, I’d have talked and then left if it didn’t work out – not done the dirty – but I guess everyone is different, that no-one’s perfect!
“Debs, I'm confused...this happened a year ago, but you guys are still together? I'm presuming you forgave him?”
“Not at first, in fact he moved out.”
“He did?” I squeak.
“Yes. I told him to go stay in a hotel, which he did; we told Lily he had to go away for work. When he first told me, I thought about a lot of things...and the last thing I wanted was for us to split, for Lily to grow up without her Daddy there. I don't know about you Coral, but as a teenager, I used to hate it when my friends used to talk about their Dad’s, I didn’t have one, and I really felt like I missed out. Maybe that’s why I married so young?” She muses, staring at the floor for a moment.
“Anyway, he’s at the hotel and I don't speak to him for a month. Then he calls me, says he’s missing me and Lily. By then I’d calmed down enough to actually have a conversation, so I met him at the hotel, we had a meal and we talked all night. And I realised it felt like it did when we were dating, just fresh you know...” Debs stares down at the floor for a second. “So he moves back in, and we start...well dating again. We took it in turns each week, booking a different hotel for the Saturday night – you know Gina?”I nod, her friend at work.
“Well, she knew what was going on and said she would have Lily stay over at hers, so that’s what we did. We dated, stayed in hotels and well, got back to us being good again. I'm not going to say the hurt is gone, and I'm still working on trusting him again...but I don't want to lose him Coral, I love him.”
“I know,” I whisper. “You could have asked me to have Lily,” I add, feeling sore that she didn’t.
“I didn’t want you or Mom finding out. I needed to do this on my own, Gina understood, she’d been through the same thing with her husband.” Debs tells me.
Ok, I actually feel sick now. What if Tristan does that to me? What if we get bored with one another? My heart starts palpitating, my breathing hitching up. I feel a panic attack coming on. I quickly get to my feet and throw a fake smile at Debs.
“Loo break,” I offer and scuttle off to the downstairs bathroom. Ok, I am definitely freaking out here!
What the hell am I doing marrying a man I hardly know? What if Tristan has all these fantasies going round in his head and he won't tell me, and the same thing happens to us, some girl comes along and plays out those fantasies with him?Oh god! Oh no!...
I fall to the floor, my bottom hitting the hard linoleum surface. I put my head in my hands and start a mantra...That won't happen to us....That won't happen to us....That won't hap – “Coral?” Debs calls outside the bathroom door, interrupting me.
I lift my head and call out to her. “It’s open,” I tremble, she pushes the door open and gasps when she sees me.
“Coral!” She breathes and sinks down next to me. “What’s wrong?”
“I'm freaking out!” I choke. “That’s what’s wrong!”
She looks relieved. “Bloody hell Coral, I’d thought your stitches had split.” She shakes her head, then asks, “what are you freaking out about?”
“Tristan!” I squeak.
Debs smiles at me. “You have no worries there Coral, he can't take his eyes off you.”
“And Scott couldn’t with you either, you two used to be so lovey–dovey it was almost sickening! Why do you think I said no so many times when you offered for me to stay over with you?”I blurt, then take a deep breath.
“Oh!” Her cheeks flame. “Yeah, that can be uncomfortable,” she adds.
“You don't say!” I retort dryly.
“Sorry, didn’t realise that’s why you kept saying no,” she giggles.
“Debs, it doesn’t matter,” I say trying to calm my racing heart. “Fuck!” I hiss and squeeze my eyes shut. “I can't lose him Debs, not ever, not to anyone!” I balk, my hands bunching into fists.
“I know, but you’re really worrying me now, please calm down little sis!” Debs softly says.
Following several deep breaths, I start to feel a little better, but either way, it’s made me realise Tristan and I need to lay everything out on the table, I need to know if I'm not fulfilling him, giving him his kicks as Debs put it – I can't have the same thing happen like it did with Justin!
“Feeling better?” Debs softly asks, reaching out and tucking my hair behind my ear.
“Yeah...I
think so,” I mumble. “My ass hurts, let’s get out of here,” I add.
Debs stands and helps me to my feet.“I do mean it Coral. I don't think you need to worry about Tristan at all, but I am surprised you’re marrying him,” she says as we head back to the sofa.
“Why?” I say, frowning at her.
“Well, it’s just...it’s not like you’ve played the field, seen all your options before making a choice’ – “Neither did you, you married the first guy you met in college!” I retort.
“Oh I dated, I dated loads and Scott was one of them, but I soon realised he was the one I had the most fun with, the one I missed, the one, even though we weren’t dating, that was my best friend, he was always there for me to talk to. I chose Scott over all the others, I didn’t know I was going to marry him. I just realised I loved him and I wanted him in my life.”
“Well that’s how I feel about Tristan, I don't need or want to play the field, I don't need to see what my other options are, I'm not stupid Debs, I know I can pretty much chose any guy I want, and I choose Tristan, end of story. Did you want another drink?” I ask, trying to get off the subject.
“I’ll get it!” Debs smiles wryly at me then heads off to the kitchen. I think about what Debs has told me, and I can't help wondering why she’s upset now, especially as this happened a year ago?
Debs returns and sits next to me. I turn and frown at her.“Debs, if this all happened a year ago, then why are you upset now? I don't get it?”
“Yeah...kind of didn’t explain myself very well there did I?” she laughs.
“You’re laughing?” I choke, then I glug the rest of my orange juice back.
Debs frowns then takes a sip of her drink. “When Scott told me, I asked him to quit the company. There was no way I could even begin to try and see clearly if he was seeing her every day, and give him his dues, he walked into work and quit the very next day. But they told him he couldn’t leave without giving his notice, so he had no choice but to come clean to his boss – who’s a woman!” Debs giggles, then sighs.
Darkest Fears Trilogy: Fallen For Him / Freed By Him / Forever With Him Page 114