by Shell Taylor
Riley swept his bangs to the other side of his face and hoped that would do something to hide the ginormous cowlick that forever plagued him.
“Something like that,” Riley said and flipped his hair back the other way.
“So why you got your panties in a twist over tonight? Fixin’ to get lucky?” Riley opened his mouth to answer, but Greg held up his hand. “Wait. Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”
“I’m coming back here when we’re done, so unless you plan on watching….” Riley spun around to look at Greg. His hair was a total loss. “Nothing like that will be happening tonight.”
“Then what’s got you in a tizzy?” Greg turned up his bottle of beer and chugged half of it down.
“I dunno. Who says I’m in a tizzy?”
Greg rolled his eyes. “Me. You’re fluttering all over the place. Changed shirts four times and then put the first one back on. Brushed your teeth twice and took a thirty-minute shower.” Greg popped another chip in his mouth and waggled his eyebrows. “I don’t know how things work in your world, but in my world, a thirty-minute shower equals bow-chicka-wow-wow.”
Riley shook his head and gestured toward the beer. “Dude. How many of those have you had?”
“This is only my third one,” Greg said, derision lacing his voice.
“I’m just saying. You’ve hardly said this many words to me the entire time I’ve known you.”
Greg shrugged. “Rough day, man. Hell. Rough week. Needed to take the edge off. And I miss my wife. I’ll be glad when this job is over.”
“Yeah.” Riley couldn’t say the same thing, but he wouldn’t point that out to Greg.
“You gonna be coming back with the rest of us after we’re done here?”
Riley looked up, surprised. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
Greg tried to sound casual but failed miserably. “Seems like you got a good thing going on here. Why would you?”
Riley stared at him. Wasn’t it obvious? “My job is back in Boone. I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that after everything you’ve done for me.”
“You don’t owe me nothing, kid. It’s just a job. Life’s more than who signs your paychecks.”
“What’re you trying to say?” Riley asked. “You think I should stay here?”
Greg burped. Loudly.
Riley rolled his eyes and tried not to laugh.
“I’ve just never seen you this… content in Boone. I’d hate to lose you, kid.” Greg waved his bottle toward the wall, where some of the other crew had rooms. “You’re a hell of a lot more dependable than most of these bozos, but you don’t smile like that back home. You don’t seem to have much purpose there either.”
“Uh, thanks?”
“Don’t mean it like that.” Greg shook his head. “This is why I never say much of anything. Nothin’ ever comes out right. You got a good thing going here. Friends. Things to do. People who care about you. You got me in Boone, and that ain’t saying much of nothing.”
Greg’s words made Riley smile, not only the ones about everything Riley had here, but also how Greg, in his own roundabout and subtle way, let Riley know he cared. Riley knew any form of reciprocation would make the uncomfortable moment even more unbearable, but he couldn’t resist his own roundabout admission of appreciation. “I dunno. Says something, I reckon. Besides, it’s not so bad. Your mom’s cooking is worth the three-hour drive to see my friends here.”
“Might have to agree with you there.” Greg cast a side-eyed glance at Riley. “Just don’t tell my wife I said that.”
“Mum’s the word.”
Riley started cleaning up the mess he’d made while he was choosing his outfit. Greg was right. He had no idea why he was so nervous about his date with Kollin. They were just going to a movie—an early one at that, because Kollin had class first thing in the morning and, of course, Riley had to work. There was absolutely no chance that he and Kollin would do anything more than kiss good night.
But it was the first time they were going out on a real date not at a gay bar. They’d be out together. In public. Like a normal couple.
Even though they were anything but normal.
Riley shoved that thought aside and, instead, pondered everything Greg had just said. Could he really stay in Cary? Where would he work? Where would he live? He couldn’t camp out in Elijah’s basement forever, and the area wasn’t exactly known for its cheap real estate. Asking for a transfer when Drummond’s opened up a Durham office was one thing. Moving back home without a steady income was another ball of yarn entirely.
Riley tucked his discarded shirts back in the dresser drawer and looked at Greg. “When do you think Drummond’s will make a decision on the Durham office?”
Greg wrinkled up his nose. “Decision’s made as far as I can tell. I guess they can still change their minds, but they’re looking for a place to set up base.”
“Do, uh… do you think they’d let me transfer here?”
Greg didn’t look at Riley, but he smiled into his beer as he took a sip. “I might could make that happen, if it’s what you want.”
Riley shrugged. “I’m not saying it is. Just wondering, is all.”
“Mmhmm…. Gonna miss seeing you around, kid.”
Riley grinned and looked down. He could feel his cheeks warming.
“Me too.” Riley turned back to the mirror and grinned. “I mean, if I move, that is.”
A knock at the door interrupted their conversation. “Am I supposed to make myself scarce?”
“So I can answer the door?” Riley rolled his eyes. “I think it’ll be fine. Besides, he wants to meet you.”
Greg grunted. “Why the hell would anyone want to meet me?”
Riley grunted back. “What can I say? You’re one of a kind.”
He walked to the door and opened it. Then he laughed out loud when he saw Kollin, holding the biggest muffin basket he’d ever seen in one hand and a basket full of beer in the other.
Kollin flashed a sheepish grin. “Figured I’d cover all my bases. I refuse to believe the man doesn’t like muffins. You’ve just never seen him eat one.” He stepped through the doorway, crowding Riley, and he planted a kiss on his cheek as he passed by.
“Sure. Come on in,” Riley muttered as he closed the door.
Kollin hefted the beer onto the desk and set the basket of muffins on Riley’s bed. “Nice to meet you, sir,” he said and approached Greg’s bed while holding out his hand.
Riley covered his mouth to hold in his laughter at the look of bewilderment on Greg’s face. Always full of surprises, though, Greg took a moment to brush off his Doritos-powdered fingers on his shirt and took Kollin’s hand. Then he looked around Kollin at Riley. “He think I’m your dad or something?”
Unable to speak from trying not to laugh, Riley shook his head.
“I’m not old enough to be his dad,” Greg insisted, looking back at Kollin.
Kollin shook his head and looked at Riley with wide eyes. “Of course not. What….”
No longer able to take it, Riley burst out laughing.
“Will somebody give me one of those beers and tell me what the hell is going on here?” Greg demanded, which only served to make Riley laugh harder.
Kollin jumped at Greg’s words and hurried to take the cellophane wrapping off the basket of beer.
“Aw hell, kid. I wasn’t being serious.” Greg looked at Riley. “He’s a bit skittish, isn’t he?”
Kollin held a bottle of beer in his hand and looked back and forth between Riley and Greg while Riley composed himself. “You’re a horrible person,” Riley finally said.
Greg shrugged.
Kollin held up the beer. “So… I should put this back?”
Riley snatched the beer out of Kollin’s hand and put it back in the basket. “I think he’s had enough for tonight. Can you please be nice to my boyfriend now?”
Greg huffed but apologized to Kollin and tacked on, “Thank you for the… goody baskets.”
>
“Yes, sir,” Kollin replied, seeming to gather his wits again. “I know it seems strange, but Riley recently told me how much of a help to him you’ve been over the past several years. I wanted to thank you, and… well, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like muffins. Or beer.”
Greg’s expression softened as Kollin spoke, and this time when he thanked Kollin, his voice held more sincerity. “That was very thoughtful of you. Thank you. And I’m glad I was able to help Riley. He’s a good kid.”
Kollin looked at Riley and smiled. “Yes, sir. He is.”
Greg grunted and waved his hand toward the door. “Y’all get on out of here now.”
Clearly not needing to be told twice, Kollin grabbed Riley’s hand and pulled. Riley barely had time to snatch his wallet off his bed on the way out. Kollin didn’t slow down until they were outside of the building, where he rounded on Riley.
“Dude.”
Riley grinned. “Yeah?”
“Dude.” He pointed at the hotel in the general direction of Riley’s room.
“Yeah?” Riley intoned his voice to match Kollin’s.
“I thought Greg was the strong and silent type,” Kollin screeched. “What the hell was that? He made fun of me.”
Riley laughed. “Technically he didn’t make fun of you. He poked fun at you.”
“You said he’s the most serious person you know. You said he’d be nice to me.”
Riley grabbed Kollin’s flailing hands. “First of all I’ve never seen him have more than two drinks. Apparently any more than that brings out his fun personality.” Riley wiggled their joined hands. “Second of all I didn’t think you were actually going to bring a muffin and beer basket.”
“Okay.” Kollin held up their hands, popped up his first finger, and then mimicked Riley. “First of all there are two baskets—a muffin basket and a beer basket, not a muffin and beer basket. Second of all”—he held up another finger—“you haven’t hugged me yet today.”
A slow grin spread over Riley’s lips, and he closed his eyes. Kollin’s off-the-cuff romantic gestures never failed to surprise him or make his insides turn to mush. With a quiet chuff, he leaned into Kollin and wrapped his arms around Kollin’s waist to hug him in the middle of the hotel parking lot. When he pulled away, he said, “I still can’t believe you brought muffins. I told you he doesn’t eat them.”
Kollin grabbed Riley’s hand and pulled him toward the car. “There are over twenty different kinds of muffins in that basket. If he can’t find one he likes, I’ll find a basket of scones.” Kollin opened the driver’s side door and looked over the roof at Riley. “But you’re going to have to give it to him on my behalf because I never plan on being in the same room with that man again.”
Riley laughed and settled into his seat. “You’re being a bit dramatic. He’s just a big teddy bear.”
“Nah, ah, ah.” Kollin backed up and pulled out of the parking lot toward the movie theater. “Eli is a teddy bear. There’s no way you can honestly tell me Eli is worse than that man. He made me get him a beer two seconds after I met him.”
“He was joking.” Riley lay back against the headrest and grinned. “Besides, Elijah—your dad—threatened to ban me from your house while waving a bottle of scotch around. I’d say that’s a mite scarier than my boss teasing you for all of thirty seconds.”
“Eli threatened to ban you from our house?”
Riley shrugged. “I deserved it. And worse. He came down the night after we got in that fight and found me packing everything.”
Kollin frowned and cocked his head to the side. “So the only reason you didn’t leave that night is because of him?”
Riley’s heart sank. So much for a perfect first real date. “In a roundabout way, I guess. I’m not saying I would’ve definitely left if he hadn’t come down, but I’m glad he did, and I’m glad I stayed. Running again would’ve been the biggest mistake of my life, and I owe you—and myself—better than that.”
“Huh,” Kollin said.
Riley remained quiet. He figured silence was always his best bet whenever Kollin learned new, possibly troubling information. Eventually Kollin glanced over at Riley and smiled. He reached across the console and took Riley’s hand in his own.
“What movie do you want to see?”
Riley let out a low sigh of relief. Maybe it was taking longer than either of them liked, but he and Kollin were finally on the right path to balance their proven and faithful friendship with their budding new romance. For the first time, Riley truly believed they might actually have a shot at making it. Together. As a couple. In the happily-ever-after type of way.
With that thought in mind, he smiled and squeezed Kollin’s hand. “Whatever you want is fine with me. I’m just glad to be along for the ride.”
Chapter 17
“ARE YOU nervous?”
Riley cast a side glare at Kollin. “Are you? Because you’re the one who won’t stop fidgeting.”
Kollin stilled his legs and folded his hands in his lap. “Why am I nervous?”
“I dunno, but could you stop? You’re making me nervous, and this is nothing to be nervous about.”
Kollin grabbed Riley’s hand. “I’m sorry. I just want this to go well.”
Riley sighed and looked at Kollin. His face held so much sincerity, Riley couldn’t doubt how much Kollin cared for him. “It’s not a big deal if it doesn’t. I’ll still join the group thing. I want to get better too. I promise.”
Kollin’s answering smile made Riley’s heart flip, and when Kollin laid his head on Riley’s shoulder, he thought maybe he knew what Greg meant when he said Riley looked content.
“There he is,” Kollin whispered and raised his head from Riley’s shoulder.
“I know what he looks like,” Riley whispered back.
Joe, the trans male who had recently started to show up at the center, walked across the playground as Kollin and Riley stood. He held out his hand when he reached them. “Hey, Riley… Kollin.”
They all shook hands, and Riley figured he better take the lead, since he’d invited Joe to their little shindig. He waved toward the bench. “You want to sit or take a walk around the trail?”
Joe looked around the park. “I’m up for a walk.”
Kollin squeezed his hand. “I should probably head out, actually. I don’t want to be late to class, but thank you for lunch.” He planted a quick kiss on Riley’s cheek and turned to Joe. “Good seeing you again, man.”
“You too. See you around the center.” Joe waved as Kollin retreated to his car, and then he shoved his hands back in his pockets. They walked around the trail in silence until Joe looked sideways at Riley. “Was Kollin trying to mark his territory or something? Because I’m straight. He’s got nothing to worry about.”
Riley tripped over his own feet and stopped to gape at Joe. “What? No.” He shook his head. “No. We have lunch together here sometimes, so he decided to hang out until you got here. He just wanted to say hi.”
“If you say so.” Joe shrugged.
“I do. Trust me. Kollin is not like that.” Was he? Truth be told, Riley didn’t know if Kollin was a jealous person or not. He’d never had the opportunity to find out, but the emotion didn’t really fit the rest of Kollin’s personality.
Joe held up his hands. “I believe you. I was just trying to put your mind at ease.”
Riley fell silent again and anxiety began to creep in. The little meet and greet wasn’t going as well as he’d hoped so far, and once again, he felt stupid. Did he really expect them to bond instantly and be lifelong buddies because both of them had been born in the wrong body? Joe had barely said ten words, yet Riley already found him a bit too abrasive.
“Sorry.” Riley wasn’t sure why he was apologizing, but he felt like he needed to. He took a deep breath and looked at Joe as they walked. “Thanks for meeting me. I’m not really sure what to say or where to start.”
Joe frowned at Riley and then asked, “Is there anything spe
cific you want to know?”
Everything. Riley wanted his entire life story so he could compare and contrast, but how would that help him? According to gossip around the center, Joe’s parents were very supportive of him and allowed him to start transitioning at an early age. Riley’s own experience couldn’t have been any more different.
When he asked Adam to help him approach Joe about getting together to chat sometime, Adam had basically taken over and handled the entire meet-up. Riley had no idea where to go from here.
“I’m not sure,” Riley admitted after a few moments of silence. “I’ve gone through most of this alone. I don’t know what’s okay to talk about and what’s not.”
A jogger passed them by, and Joe waited until she was out of earshot to continue. “Have you transitioned below yet? Or are you going to?”
“No. Dr. Maggie wants me to deal with some shit first. Hence her encouraging me to speak with other trans people.”
Joe nodded. “Probably a good idea. My parents are awesome. They’ve always supported me. And I still went through a period of depression after my bottom surgery. It’s better than what it was before, but it’s still not what I picture in my head. It took me some time to accept that and then some more time to be okay with it.”
Riley frowned. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. “Do you do any of the trans group things?”
“I have in the past. Most of the people in those groups were older than me, though. It felt good to know I wasn’t alone, but… I still felt alone because I was so young. That’s why I started coming to HOPE. I thought I’d be more likely to meet trans people closer to my own age, but you’re the first to show up.” Joe laughed humorlessly. “And apparently you’re some kind of legend or something there.”
Riley scoffed. “I doubt that.”
“You shouldn’t.”
Joe didn’t offer any further explanation, and once again, Riley became frustrated with his lack of inclusion and empathy. Wasn’t that the point of the whole meet-up?
“I’m not sure I understand what you mean,” Riley said, hoping Joe would elaborate.