"I'm here."
"You had a call today from your agent. He wanted you to get in touch with him as soon as possible, that it was very, very important and you could reach him all weekend at his number in Palm Springs."
"Thanks. I'll get back to him tonight." She hung up the phone, wondering what new havoc Russell was about to cause in her life. After the Vegas date, she'd put her foot down—no more shows until after Christmas. He hadn't liked it, but he'd agreed. Now what?
Maddie called from the living room, "Miss Caitlyn, come see the tree—it's so tall!" and Cait decided not to worry about Russell until she had to. Tonight, for the first time in ten years, she had a Christmas tree to help decorate. J
Much later, after the tree had been made beautiful, after Maddie and Shep were in bed, Ben walked her out to Anna's car. The snow that had been so heavy in the mountains was just a light dusting down here in the valley, j
"What a day." He took a deep breath and lifted his chin to stare at the cloud-covered sky. "I ought to apologize for risking your life." |
Cait shook her head. ' 'Accidents happen, Ben. You did everything you could to keep us all safe." j
Maybe." After a long silence, he looked at her again. I've always wondered if there was something Valerie could have done to save herself, to avoid being killed.''
"And I bet you've wondered if you could have changed what happened somehow." I
"You know too much." But he gave her his half smile. "Today answered that question, I think. Valerie did everything possible, in those last seconds, to save Shep. She turned the car so that her side took the impact. She made a choice—the same one I would have made today, if I'd
i t 11
had to. If I could have. So... that's the answer. We do our best at any given moment. And what happens...happens."
He studied her face for a minute, his expression serious, his eyes dark. "Like this," he said finally. Taking her face in his hands, he gave her a sweet, deep kiss.
And then drew back. "Can I take you to the Christmas dance?"
Still reeling from his touch, Cait wasn't sure she'd heard right. "The what?"
"The Goodwill Christmas dance. Held in the town hall. I've never been, but they tell me it's a nice evening."
"W-when?"
"Tomorrow night. It's short notice. I wasn't going this year, either, but—" he ran a fingertip lightly down her cheek ''—I just changed my mind. What do you think?''
She thought about dancing with Ben in front of the entire town, the kind of mistaken expectations which would arise.
Then she thought about leaving Goodwill in less than three weeks without ever having danced with Ben at all.
"What time should I be ready?"
"No. Absolutely not."
Three thousand miles away, Russell sighed. "C'mon, Cait. This is a big chance for you—standing in for a major name in a sold-out concert."
It's a week off. She'll be over the flu by then." Uh, well...let's just say she's checked into a California facility to deal with this particular virus on an inpatient basis."
"Oh." So much for that excuse. And why did she need one? Six months ago Cait would have given anything for this opportunity. She wouldn't have so much as breathed before jumping at the offer.
( 4'
(1
And at any other time, she still would. But not this particular week. "I told you, no more shows until after Christmas."
"Don't make me go through the tough-guy routine again. Hell, the gig's in D.C., an hour away from that little hamlet you're trapped in." He sounded like he'd been drinking, as was usual for Russell on most nights. And afternoons. "You drive in Friday morning for rehearsal, drive back Saturday at the latest. What's wrong with that?"
"I have a-an appointment Friday morning. I wouldn't be able to get to D.C. until midafternoon." Maddie's Christmas program was this Friday. Cait had promised to be there. She did not intend to renege on her word.
"Appointments are made to be rescheduled, babe."
"This is a one-shot deal. No rescheduling." Through the phone line, she heard the clink of ice, the gurgle of liquid.
After a minute, Russell said, "Well, this is a deal breaker, Cait." His words were more slurred now. "You don't show up for this gig, we don't have a contract anymore. And—excuse me for borrowing somebody else's line—if you dump me, you'll never work in this town again."
For an instant, she was ready to tell her so-called agent what he could do with his contract. Who needed this kind of pressure? If she couldn't choose when she wanted to work, what kind of career did she have, anyway? s
Reason kicked in before she did something stupid. Give it all up? Throw away ten years of work? Prove that her father was right, that she should've settled for the safe, manageable career he wanted her to have?
Maddie's program was at 10:00 a.m. "Can you schedule the rehearsal for noon?''
a
"That's cutting it close. Sound check's at three."
"We played six shows two weeks ago. I think we all remember the basics."
He sighed again. "Yeah, okay. Just be there on time. I've got press meetings lined up before the show."
Her least favorite part of the job. "See you Friday, Russell."
"Cheers."
Dropping the phone, Cait flopped back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. D.C. was more than an hour away by car. How was she going to be in two places at once on Friday morning?
Why would you want to? Think about the audiences in Vegas. Then decide what matters most — your career or an elementary school play in Goodwill, Virginia.
For better or worse, she fell asleep before she'd forced herself to choose.
"Pll be back sometime around midnight."
At the sound of Peggy's voice, Harry drew his gaze from the newspaper he wasn't reading. She stood in the doorway of the den, wearing a deep-red dress that showed off her figure and made her hair shine silver, the pearl necklace and earrings he'd given her for their thirtieth anniversary, and high-heeled red shoes.
"You look nice." When they hadn't spoken for days, he couldn't use a more enthusiastic word without sounding hypocritical. "Where are you going?"
"Tonight is the Christmas dance. As I said, I'll be home around twelve." Her heels clicked briskly on the floor as she went toward the front of the house.
Pushing himself out of the recliner, Harry followed. "You're going alone?"
Peg pulled her coat off its hanger. "I assumed you
weren't interested." When he tried to help with the coat, she gave him a cold look, jerked it out of his hands and put it on. I
"Peggy—"
She picked up a large tray of her famous Virginia ham
biscuits from the table by the door. "Don't wait up."
Before he could move, she'd opened the door herself, and
was heading down the front steps. |
Harry closed the door and leaned back against it. Well, okay. He didn't have to go to the dance this year. That was a relief. 1
Except that he always enjoyed dancing with his wife. Used to, anyway. There wasn't much of anything he enjoyed these days. |
As he glanced around the front hall and the living room, he saw that Peggy had brought out the Christmas decorations. Preparing for Christmas had always been a family activity for the Shepherds, especially these last two years without Valerie. They'd needed each other to get through the holiday with any kind of spirit. |
This year, Peg had gone on without him. What did that say, except what he already knew? He wasn't much use to anybody.
On the way back to the den, he stopped by the refrigerator for a beer. The case he'd bought just a few days ago was more than half gone. Had he drunk all those beers by himself? And why was he drinking alone on a Sunday night during the Christmas season? Why was he putting off the confrontation with David Remington over the missing money? He'd always been one to face a conflict head-on, get it solved and move on to the next. What was wrong with him?
/>
Harry didn't have any answers.
Or maybe he just didn't want the answers anymore.
Cait showed off her outfit to Anna. "Think this is okay?"
"No, I think it's fabulous." Anna motioned her to turn around. ' 'Especially if your purpose is to have every man at the dance watching you instead of their date." Then she sighed. ' 'Remember all those nights you watched me get dressed for dates and whined because you wanted to go along?"
"I was a real pain, wasn't I?"
"Now I know how you felt. It's terrible, watching someone else get dressed for a party you can't attend."
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Cait brushed the curly bangs back from her sister's eyes. "Next year, you'll have a baby-sitter come over so you and David can get out."
"A year from now, who knows what will have happened?"
In the soft light of the lamp, Anna's face was pale and thin, her eyes shadowed. She wasn't the picture of health an expectant mother should be, though the doctor said the baby was growing as well as they could hope. But instead of being relieved that the baby hadn't been born too early, Cait was beginning to think that the longer Anna was pregnant, the more she suffered. And David's erratic behavior didn't help at all.
So much for the joys of marriage and parenthood. If Anna couldn't be happy as a wife and mother, who could?
The doorbell rang. "That's Ben." Standing up, she looked down at her sister. "Try to sleep," Cait suggested. It was all she could think of.
Anna shrugged, avoiding her gaze. "What else can I do?" Then she shook her head and attempted a smile. "Have a great evening."
Grinning, Cait nodded. "I'm going with Ben. What else can I do?"
"The town hall's been here since the 1870s," Ben said as he parked the sedan he'd rented across the street, "when they rebuilt after the war."
Cait glanced at him and smiled. '' 'The war' ? Should that be capitalized?''
"Definitely. This place takes its history seriously." He was babbling, had been since they'd gotten into the car. But he still hadn't recovered from the sight of Cait in red and black, her hair piled high, her arms and long, slender neck bare. Then there was the view from the back—the low cut of that crinkly top, the snug fit of those slacks...
"So, should we go in?" Cait's voice brought him back to reality. 1
"Uh...yeah." Grateful for the bitterly cold night, he got out of the car and came around to open her door. The heels she was wearing added a couple of inches to her height, which would make kissing her so incredibly easy—just a tilt of his chin would bring their mouths together. I
Ben cleared his throat. "Let's go see who's out on the town tonight."
He spotted Peggy right away, beautiful and elegant as usual in her red dress. She waved, but continued a lively conversation with Ellen Morrow. Harry wasn't as obvious. All Ben knew for sure was that he wasn't among the men staring at Cait when he took her coat. He wanted to tell the bunch of them to pick their tongues up off the floor.
"Dance?" he said to Cait, instead. And couldn't restrain a rush of masculine pride when she smiled up at him and moved into his arms. j
The music was supplied by a deejay and compact disks
rather than a live band, but at least the tunes weren't exclusively Christmas. Big band, easy listening, contemporary country and...
"Oh, no," Cait said, resting her forehead against his shoulder.
"They're playing your song." Ben obeyed an impulse and pressed a kiss lightly against her temple. "I like it."
"Rainbow Blues" had been her first number-one single, he knew, a torch song, with jazzy chords showcasing the husky voice he'd grown to love.
Yes, love.
The recognition didn't come as a surprise, but more like greeting an old and dear friend who'd been gone for a long time. He drew back a little to look into Cait's face. "I haven't danced in years. But it's easy with you."
"I wouldn't have known," Cait said. "I guess we just naturally share a rhythm." Even as she finished the sentence, her cheeks flushed, her eyes darkened. "I mean—''
"I think you're exactly right." He placed another kiss along the curve of her jaw. "Sometimes, two people just...fit." Then he took the kiss he wanted from her lips.
Cait felt her knees shake as that kiss went on and on and on. There was something different about Ben tonight, in his eyes, in his hands on her back, in the sweet caress of his mouth. She couldn't define the change any more than she could break away from the kiss. For the first time in years, she wished "Rainbow Blues" would play all night long.
But it didn't. The music stopped and, eventually, Ben lifted his head. "Something to drink?" His voice was as unsteady as her pulse.
Cait nodded and followed him off the dance floor, her hand tightly wrapped in his. But she wasn't so bemused
that she didn't notice the glances they got, the whispers around them, especially among the women.
"They're talking about us," she told Ben as he handed her a plastic glass of golden punch.
He surveyed the room as she'd seen Secret Service agents do on TV. "I'd say you're right about that, too." Over the rim of his glass, his gaze met hers. "Do you care?"
His eyes held the promise of something she thought she might have been searching for a long, long time.
Cait smiled and touched the rim of her glass to his in a toast. "Not at all."
"Don't you make a gorgeous couple?" Peggy appeared beside them and put an arm around Cait's waist. "I don't have to ask if you're enjoying yourselves. It's a good party, isn't it?"
Ben nodded. "As long as you brought your ham biscuits."
Peggy reached up to kiss his cheek. "Of course I did, since you always ask for them." !
"I guess that's where we'll find Harry. He comes in second in number of biscuits consumed," Ben told Cait, "but he pushes me hard."
Peggy seemed to withdraw a little. "Urn, Harry didn't come tonight. So," she said, too brightly, "that will leave you his share of the biscuits. Works out well, doesn't it?"
It wasn't hard to see the glitter of tears in the older woman's eyes. Cait looked at Ben, wondering whether to disappear or offer comfort.
"Harry's still having trouble with the retirement issue?" Ben handed over his handkerchief. "Do you want me to beat some sense into him?"
That got a watery chuckle. "Not just yet. I've made an appointment with David. I'm hoping Harry will go with
i
me." She looked at Cait. "I'm sorry. I know this must be terribly embarrassing—having to sit through my pitiful problems."
Cait took Peggy's fine-boned hand. "Not pitiful or embarrassing. I wish I could help, is all."
"Well, you can." Peggy sat up straight and squared her shoulders, gave a final sniff and handed back Ben's handkerchief. "You two go back out on the dance floor and have a wonderful time. That's the best thing you could do for me. I'm so glad to see Ben getting out, having fun...." She leaned over to Cait. "Falling in love," she whispered. Then, with a watery smile, she went to talk with the deejay.
Without a word, Cait and Ben put their glasses on a tray and moved back to the dance floor, back into each other's arms. "White Christmas" came over the speaker system.
"That night at Regina's, you really blew me away," Ben said in a low voice. "Your harmony was incredible. I know you're not crazy about this time of year, but you ought to record a Christmas album. Give all your fans a chance to hear what you can do."
She drew back a little to look up at him. "I just might do that."
He smiled. "I heard what Peggy said, you know."
Cait felt her cheeks heat up. "What she said?"
"Tailing in love' was the phrase."
"Oh. Yes." She looked down at their feet. "Well, even Peggy doesn't know everything."
"Maybe not. But she's right about that. I love you, Cait."
Suddenly, it hurt to breathe. "Ben—"
"I know there are issues to resolve. But I'm more convinced every day that we belong together."
He brought
their joined hands up, kissed each of her knuckles. "So I think it's time I put this question on the record, so to speak. And the town hall seems like the perfect place."
The music stopped, and so did Ben. Even through the sudden increase in conversation, she heard him very clearly.
"Caitlyn Gregory, fellow grinch, will you marry me?"
ii
and navigate as we go along. You're great with Maddie and Shep."
She glanced up at him, smiling again. "You make things seem so easy."
He shrugged. "Life supplies the tough stuff without any help. I'm just trying to keep the situation from being worse than necessary."
"You were married before. I don't know anything about being married, either."
"Being married to Valerie was...what it was. Being married to you will be totally different, and I'll be starting at the beginning of the process, just like you." He heard his own words and shook his head. ' 'Damn. I sound like the man with all the answers."
Pulling Cait with him, he went to an empty corner and sat down, seating her in the chair facing him. "I thought I had it all worked out, Cait. Your career, my life—no possible common ground. My kids didn't need an intermittent mother. I wanted the standard package—both of us home together in bed every night, Saturdays spent fixing up the house or playing in the park with the kids."
She looked down at their joined hands, but Ben tightened his hold until she met his eyes again. ' 'The truth is, Valerie and I didn't have that kind of life together, either. I was on the road or pulling some kind of weird duty, she had business trips...and then, all at once, she wasn't there at all." ]
But-
4..a '»
"There are no rules, Cait. No guarantees. That's what yesterday showed me. And I care about you so much that I'm willing to settle for what we can have, instead of holding out for a perfection that might never happen."
Gazing at Ben, Cait thought she'd never been so tempted to stop thinking altogether, to let her heart and
her body choose which path to take. She wanted to believe they could work everything out, that there would be feasible compromises and sacrifices that didn't cost too much to accept.
Mostly, she just wanted to keep seeing the love on Ben's face, as she saw it now. And she wanted to spend as many nights as possible in his arms.
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