So everything was working out fine, and I started thinking how it had turned into a great day. After we got Professor Reese settled back at her house, we’d be able to go back to our house before Mom noticed we’d been gone long enough to get worried.
We crossed the bridge and got out at the transfer station and then transferred from the blue to the green line. When we climbed onto the green line streetcar, I finally leaned back in my seat and felt myself relax, because we were almost home.
But just as the streetcar doors were closing, I looked out the window and saw Detective John Jacobs of the Portland Police Department (who I had totally forgotten about, and who was just climbing into his car with a cup of coffee, probably about to drive up to Professor Reese’s house again). He was staring right at me and TJ and Baxter, who had his nose pressed up against the glass. I could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to figure out if the little old lady sitting next to us was who he thought it was.
I slumped down in my seat, wondering if it was too late to pretend I hadn’t seen him. But just as the streetcar started to move, TJ stood up, waved both arms above his head, and cried, “Hey! We found her!”
Detective John Jacobs’s eyes practically popped out of his head, and I knew at that moment that he’d be waiting on Professor Reese’s front porch when we got home, and that meant we only had a short streetcar ride to figure out what in the world we were going to tell him.
27
Mutant Frogs and Nuclear Ants
The rest of the way home on the streetcar, we tried to figure out what to tell Detective John Jacobs—because we knew he’d be expecting answers.
Professor Reese said, “Maybe I should tell him I got so busy at work that I didn’t notice the time.”
“But for three whole days?” I said. “It doesn’t seem believable that nobody else at work would have seen you when they were all worried and looking for you.”
“Wait! How about this!” TJ said. “We say you were kidnapped by bandits who came in on a helicopter while you were going to work on Thursday morning. They grabbed you from behind and tied you up and stuffed a sock in your mouth.” He sat up a little bit more in his seat. “Yeah, a sock. A dirty one. They flew you to their secret hideout in the jungle with vines growing all over the front of it so no one could see it. There were snakes in the vines that could kill you in a single bite and spiders—big spiders—” He spread his hands wide to show how big. “No, wait, tarantulas, the big hairy kind, crawling all over the walls inside the hideout. And that was only if you could get past the attack Dobermans whose fangs were dripping blood from their last victims . . .”
TJ went on and on as we got off the streetcar and walked through the neighborhood back to Professor Reese’s house, but his idea didn’t seem very believable, either, and by the time he was finished telling it to us, we were out of time.
But as we helped Professor Reese up the front walk, with Detective John Jacobs standing on the porch with his arms crossed, glaring at us—I suddenly knew, and I whispered, “Don’t worry, I have it all figured out.”
I’d figured out that the best thing to tell him was the truth because you should never lie to a policeman, even one as crabby as Detective John Jacobs. Besides—when Detective John Jacobs barked out, “Just where have you been? I have a report to fill out, you know!” and I said, “Professor Reese teleported herself to the science museum, and my magical dog helped find her,” and Professor Reese smiled and said it was true, he muttered, “Unbelievable!”
Then he stomped to his car and drove away. Just like I thought he would.
I helped Professor Reese upstairs. While she was in the shower, I came back down and made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cut up apples, and TJ made cracker stacks for everyone, even Baxter.
And then Professor Reese came downstairs looking better, and we ate together. First Professor Reese told us what it was like when she teleported and landed in the pitch-black storage room. “At first, I must admit, I panicked because I couldn’t see anything, and I wondered if teleporting made you blind,” she said. “But after I calmed down and explored my surroundings, I realized that I might just be in a dark room. I crawled until I found the wall and then felt around for the door, and then I stood up and found the light switch.” She shook her head and smiled. “I felt much better after that.”
I told her and TJ what it felt like when I teleported, and Professor Reese and I agreed that the landing was pretty hard. “We’ll have to work on that,” she said.
We all ate a little bit more, and suddenly I remembered, “Oh! Your daughter is flying in from Australia this afternoon.”
Professor Reese got all excited and happy, and then we noticed the light on her answering machine was blinking, and it was six calls from her daughter, each one sounding more worried and the last one saying she was flying to Portland and landing on Sunday at 2:47 p.m. and would take a cab straight over.
“Are you going to tell her what really happened?” TJ asked.
Professor Reese nodded slowly. “I suppose I’ll have to. She’ll be angry that I took such a big risk teleporting myself—but she’s my family. She loves me, and she deserves to know.”
“Professor Reese?” I said. “When you tell your daughter, can we tell my parents, too, even though it’s supposed to be a secret? ’Cause they’ll be mad that me and TJ didn’t tell them what was going on, and that I teleported, and that TJ walked across town in the middle of the night and snuck into the science museum to get us—” And when I listed it all in a row like that, I started getting nervous at just how mad Mom and Dad were going to get.
“They love you,” Professor Reese said, “and they deserve to know, too.”
I nodded.
And so we worked it out that when Professor Reese’s daughter got there, Professor Reese would invite me and TJ and Mom and Dad over, and we could tell everyone at the same time and all get in trouble together instead of each of us getting in trouble separately, which always feels worse.
“And now, my dears, I need to lie down for a little while.”
TJ looked at the clock. “We’d better go over to Dad’s. It’s already waffle time.”
And even though I’d just eaten, I knew I still had a little bit of room for half a waffle, and TJ probably had room for a whole. “OK, tell him I’ll be over in a minute.”
TJ grabbed an apple slice and ran down to the lab to give it to Spike, and I helped Professor Reese upstairs, with Baxter leading the way.
“It must be a relief knowing you won’t have to save any little old ladies tomorrow,” she said as I helped her into bed. “You can just go to school and have fun.”
“Yeah.” Then I remembered that tomorrow was Monday. “Well, I’ll have fun on Tuesday. Tomorrow I have to go hide in the stupid bathroom.”
“Oh my. Why is that?”
So I told her the rest of what had happened in Study Buddies and how I thought Mrs. A. chose me first because of my excellent people skills, but really she just thought I was unfocused. “And the whole time I thought I was helping Katie and Maya.”
“You know,” Professor Reese said, patting my hand, “scientists usually review all the data they’ve gathered before drawing any conclusions.” She lay back on her pillows. “And now, I really must take a nap.”
I tiptoed out of the room, past Baxter—who was snoring on his smooshy dog bed—and down the stairs. TJ had left, so I washed the dishes and then closed the front door behind me.
But I didn’t want to go over to Dad’s—not yet. I knew that he was probably mixing the waffle batter, and TJ had probably turned on Dad’s TV to watch some dumb movie about giant mutant frogs or a colony of crazed nuclear ants that march across whole towns eating every living thing and leaving skeletons behind with their skull jaws open, screaming because ants are crawling out their eye sockets.
Before I sat down to watch with him, I wanted five minutes of peace and quiet.
I wandered over to the middle of
the park and sat down beneath a tree. To my left was the dog playground, where Baxter was King of the Bounce. To my right were the basketball courts, where Tyler was already out shooting hoops.
I wanted to think about what Professor Reese had just said: that a scientist reviews all the data before drawing any conclusions.
Before I’d done Study Buddies, I’d assumed Tyler was the worst kid in the whole class. But now I knew him a lot better.
He got in trouble in class all the time. And he told way too many butt jokes. But he was also funny and nice to dogs and nice to other kids. And he’d turned into an outstanding Study Buddy in the end.
Tyler said Mrs. A. thought we were both losers. But, I realized, she’d never said that. When I looked at all the data I’d gathered about Tyler, he didn’t seem like a loser. And if Tyler wasn’t a loser, did that mean maybe I wasn’t one, either?
As I watched him make a shot, I wondered, What if neither one of us is a loser?
Maybe I was a tiny bit unfocused—or at least, not focused on what Mrs. A. wanted me to focus on—because I did sort of whisper a lot when she was starting her lessons. But if I’d been too focused—as focused as Detective John Jacobs—I never would have looked at things from a different angle and figured out how the teleporter worked or how Baxter followed the bounce or anything.
And in Study Buddies, I’d helped Maya be a little less shy and Katie be a little less sticky—and that was pretty good for only two weeks.
So when I looked at all the data I’d gathered about myself, it didn’t seem very loser-y at all.
I didn’t realize I’d been holding my breath until it came out in a big sigh, like the kind of sigh Baxter made when he flopped down next to me, cozy and warm—a sigh like he knew he’d found a really good home.
I could hear Tyler’s basketball thumping as he dribbled it across the court. He faked left, went right, and nailed it.
“Nice shot,” I called out.
He looked over, surprised. “Uh, thanks.” He charged the net and nailed a layup, too.
Then I stood up to head to Dad’s—because if TJ was facing giant mutant frogs and flesh-eating nuclear ants, he could probably use some company.
28
A Pink Box the Size of Something Delicious
When the phone rang at five thirty, I let Mom get it. I heard her say, “Oh! I’m so glad you’re all right!” and then, a minute later, “Why, yes, that would be lovely. Are you sure there’s nothing we can bring?”
Professor Reese had invited us to dinner to explain why she’d been missing, Mom told me and TJ after she hung up the phone. So I ran to get Dad, who had just gotten home from the music store, and we all trooped over to Professor Reese’s house.
Her daughter, Lydia, was there, and she was very nice and looked just like Professor Reese, only with brown hair, not gray, and without the wrinkles.
I smiled at Baxter, and he grinned back.
As soon as we sat down in the living room, the doorbell rang and it was the pizza delivery boy, so we all moved into the dining room. And just as we were getting our pizza and salad, the doorbell rang again. Lydia went to answer it and came back with a pink cardboard bakery box the size of something delicious. TJ’s eyes got big, and I could tell he was excited.
While we ate, Professor Reese explained all about T-waves and promised to demonstrate teleportation to prove it. And when Lydia said, “Mom!” Professor Reese added, “I’ll prove it with the hat, not myself!”
Mom and Dad and Lydia promised not to tell anyone else about the teleportation experiments because it was Professor Reese’s announcement to make when she was ready.
“But I’ll be ready soon,” Professor Reese said, “and that’s because of the fine work of my lab assistants, who aren’t just assistants anymore—they’re truly scientists now.”
I explained how the hat bounced and the microchip number changed and how if Baxter wasn’t King of the Bounce, we never would have been able to help Professor Reese with her scientific discovery.
“Our scientific discovery,” Professor Reese said. “You and TJ have made a real contribution to science.”
“And Baxter,” I added.
“And Spike!” TJ said. Then he explained all the parts about the latitude numbers and helping Baxter follow the hum to the science museum—
“Hold on, TJ,” Mom interrupted. “When did you go to the science museum with Baxter?”
“Um,” TJ said. He stuffed a big bite of pizza into his mouth and looked at me, like, You tell them that part.
I took a deep breath. “Yeah, well, I had a whole bunch of great opportunities to be dependable because Professor Reese was counting on me.” Only the more I told the opportunities, one by one, the less great they sounded. Mom’s eyebrows got higher and higher, and pretty soon no one was eating anymore, not even TJ, just waiting for me to finish them all. Lydia and Dad were shaking their heads.
And when I finished, for about five minutes everyone was talking all at once, and boy, did me and TJ get an earful—though Mom and Dad finally did admit that if we had tried to tell them about teleportation without Professor Reese there to back us up, they wouldn’t have believed it, because, seriously, who would?
But even though Lydia and Mom and Dad were really mad, they weren’t completely and totally mad because mixed in with all the stuff we got in trouble for were a lot of great things, too—like Professor Reese inventing teleportation but me and TJ being the ones who figured out how it worked. Plus, us being able to find her when no one else could, and also us maybe even keeping her from starving to death a little bit.
So all that was really impressive and made Mom and Dad and Lydia at least a little bit less mad.
I winced. “So how long are me and TJ grounded for?”
Dad shook his head. “This is way bigger than being grounded,” he said. “This is the biggest thing ever, Jordie: we’re a family, and families look out for each other.”
“Like a wolf pack,” I said.
“Well, yes, exactly: like a wolf pack,” Mom said. “And your dad and I can’t look out for you and TJ when you don’t tell us what’s going on.”
Mom looked long and hard at TJ and even longer and harder at me. She even looked long and hard at Professor Reese. “Agreed?”
We all nodded. And when I looked over at Baxter, he was nodding, too.
“So we’re not grounded?” TJ added and flashed Mom and Dad a big grin, like, Pleeeeease?
Everyone laughed.
So the day turned out great (even though it had started out really exhausting). Plus, inside the pink box was cake.
Professor Reese told us that after her nap, she’d called around to find a bakery that delivered. And it was the greatest cake I’d ever seen because it was huge and chocolate and had My Heroes written on it (in purple frosting to match Baxter’s collar), and the heroes were me and TJ and Baxter.
“I think you only invented a teleporter so you can see your grandkids more often,” Lydia said and laughed as she cut the cake.
“It did occur to me.” Professor Reese smiled and started passing the cake plates.
“You have grandkids?” I said.
“Yes, a boy and a girl, only the boy is the one who’s a year older.”
“Ha!” TJ said.
Once we all had our cake in front of us, Professor Reese put a slice of pizza on another plate and placed it on the floor for Baxter, since dogs can’t have chocolate.
“There’s only one thing I’m wondering about,” I said, watching him wolf it down (which was still not as messy as TJ wolfing down his pizza, even though TJ is the one who can actually pick it up since he has thumbs). “If Baxter just follows the hum of his microchip, does that mean he’s not magical?”
Baxter turned toward us, and his crazy silver eyebrows went up and down as he looked back and forth among us all.
Professor Reese thought about it a minute. Then she smiled. “Well, who would have ever guessed that the key to unlocking o
ne of the greatest scientific advances in the history of mankind would be a shaggy gray dog named Baxter—King of the Bounce.”
She dug her fork into her cake. “That seems a little bit magical to me.”
29
Pretty Outstanding at the End
In the morning, I ran over to Professor Reese’s as soon as I finished my Crispy Rice. TJ was still eating his so slowly that it would be a bowl of slimy mush at the end (seriously), and I wanted to get there early.
I rang the doorbell, and Baxter started woofing. His ears were getting better.
Lydia answered the door. “Hi, Jordie!”
Baxter nosed his way past her and licked my hands, his tail wagging so hard he practically fell off his own back feet. I kissed the spot between his eyebrows, and Baxter kissed me back, between mine.
I went into the living room. Professor Reese was wearing a silvery-gray leotard and gray tights, looking a little bit like Baxter. “Good morning, dear,” she said, writing octagonal in 23-down (for “having eight sides”).
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
She patted her stomach. “Much better. I’m stuffed! Lydia has been spoiling me silly.”
“I like taking care of you,” Lydia said. She kissed the top of Professor Reese’s head, which was nice, because even when you are all grown up you are still somebody’s mom and somebody’s daughter. Then she went into the kitchen.
“So, Jordie,” Professor Reese said, “what did you decide—are you still going to hide in the bathroom today?”
I scritched Baxter’s shaggy gray chin. “No. I decided that I really was a pretty outstanding Study Buddy.”
Professor Reese nodded. “Good.”
Then TJ got there, and the whole way to school, he was all excited because he’d just figured out how his short was going to end.
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