by Claire Adams
“What does that have to do with Renée?” I asked.
“Renée and I don't see eye to eye when it comes to the press,” I admitted. “She likes to be in the spotlight. And I sometimes think that she'll do anything to get in the spotlight. If she knew that I had a daughter, I wouldn't put it past her to spill the beans on that one. Or at least to use that as leverage against me.”
“Hmm,” was all Lexi said.
I didn't want to phrase it in so many words to Lexi, but I was trying to keep her safe. I didn't want to compromise her anonymity.
I was a good judge of character. You couldn't work in business like I did without being a good judge of character, I didn't think. Renée had a predatory spirit. I had known that since the day we met. It was one of the things that attracted me to her, to be honest. But I wasn't a fool, and I wasn't about to leave an opening for her. I shuddered to think of the kind of stunts she could pull, with knowledge of Lexi and Emma as ammunition.
“Well, I guess if you have a hard time trusting your girlfriends and find that lying to them is the best solution, then maybe it's no surprise that you have a difficult time holding down a steady relationship,” Lexi said, surprising me with how snide she was.
I drew myself up to my full height. “At least I can keep a job and—”
“Wait,” Lexi interrupted before I could go any further with my indignation. She ducked her head, biting her lower lip. “I'm sorry,” she said, sounding sincere. “We just had a really nice night, and now I'm ruining it by escalating things. How you want to handle your relationships is none of my business. If you don't want to tell Renée about me, if you don't think it's a good idea for Renée to know about me, then I'll do my best to make sure that Renée doesn't find out about me.” She paused, and I could tell that there was something else on the tip of her tongue.
“Go on, say whatever it is,” I said.
“She came over here this afternoon. Renée. I answered the door. She wanted to know who I was, and Janice lied and said I was her niece, and that Emma and I had come to stay with you for a little while because of some family troubles back home.”
I frowned at her, mulling over that new bit of information. Finally, I shook my head. It would do no good to dwell on that now. If there was any damage done, it was already done. “I always appreciate Janice's quick thinking,” I said.
“Yeah,” Lexi said. She paused. “Seriously, thank you for spending some time with Emma. I can tell that she really likes you.”
“But?” I asked, wondering what she was holding back on now.
She shook her head, though. “There is no 'but,’” she said. “While you were on your business trip, I had a lot of time to think things over. For the past couple years, I've been just reacting. All I could do was worry about keeping a roof over our heads and food on our table. Once those worries were taken care of, for at least a little while, I was able to think of something else. And I think it would be really good for Emma to know her father. I only hope that you want to get to know her as well.”
I frowned, wondering where this was coming from. “So, you just woke up one morning and were like, hey, I think Emma should get to know her dad?” I asked dubiously.
She took a deep breath, rubbing her palms nervously against her jeans. “I had a difficult relationship with my father,” she finally admitted. “Things were strained. It wasn't the best situation to be raised in. I've cut him out of my life at this point, but I still have all those feelings inside me. And when I look at Emma, I can only imagine what things might be like for her, if she has a father who is just like mine was.”
“And you think I'm just like he was,” I surmised, feeling surprisingly bitter about that.
“I don't, actually,” Lexi said softly. “That's the thing. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I'm only projecting my fears onto you. And that's not very fair.”
I ruminated on that for a moment. “I didn't have the best relationship with my own father,” I admitted at last. “Or with my mother, for that matter. Both cold, but in their different ways. The closest thing I had to family, growing up, was my sister Katherine.” I cleared my throat. “But I don't want to be that guy, Lexi. I want to be better than them. I really want to try.”
“Okay,” Lexi said simply.
We sat there in silence. Finally, I laughed. “You're going to have to forgive me, though. I'm still new at this. Where do I even get started?”
Lexi laughed as well. “Spending time with Emma is a great start,” she said. “I know you're busy with work, but even if you could spend some time with her in the evenings, that would be a huge step in the right direction. She already likes you, but I want her to trust you, too. And maybe, once she trusts you some, we can go ahead and let her know that you're her dad.”
“I am busy with work at the moment,” I agreed. “But this is important.” I frowned, thinking over my schedule for the next day. There was nothing critical, nothing that I couldn't delegate. “Why don't I make some time tomorrow, and we can do something together? Just you, me, and Emma.”
Lexi sighed. “Don't go making promises that you can't keep,” she said. “And spending time with Emma doesn't count if you're on the phone to work the whole time that you're there.”
“Nah, don't worry,” I told her. “There's nothing big on my schedule tomorrow anyway. I can push some of those meetings off. This is important. Getting to know my daughter is important.”
“Are you sure?” Lexi asked dubiously.
“I'm sure,” I said. “It won't be anything too big, just something simple. Something fun. Just something where we get to know one another a little better.” I paused and rubbed at the back of my neck. “To be honest, I don't really know what kids like to do. I wouldn't know the first thing to suggest for tomorrow.”
Lexi laughed. “Well, what did you like to do when you were a kid?” she asked.
I frowned, thinking back. “That was a long time ago,” I said. “And I never really had time for fun, once Dad really started getting me into the business stuff. I went to school, and then I came home and had private tutors so that I could learn everything else that I needed to know. Every once in a while, we got to go to the park.”
“The park would make a nice outing,” Lexi suggested. “Emma loves going to the park. She likes to climb on the jungle gym, and if the weather's nice, we like to take a picnic over there. With some extra bread, so that Emma can feed the birds.”
I laughed. “Sounds like you have the day all planned already,” I said. “But come on, I want to do something special. You guys could go to the park without me. It doesn't have to be something special for every outing, but for the first one, maybe we could go someplace that she's always wanted to go but never been able to before?”
Lexi was quiet for a minute, and I wondered if I had offended her by reminding her that I was able to give our daughter things that Lexi had never been able to before. But when she spoke, she didn't seem upset. She just sounded like she'd been thinking.
“What about the Seattle Children's Museum?” she suggested. “Tickets are a little pricey, but maybe we'll qualify for a family discount if there's three of us. Or maybe Lexi is young enough to get in for free. I don't remember anymore. I haven't looked at it in a long time since it was so out of the question for us before.” She paused, looking uncertain. “I can research all the information tonight, if you want. If it's too expensive, we don't have to go.”
I reached over and put a hand over hers, squeezing lightly. “Lexi, relax,” I said gently. “I don't exactly know what a children's museum is, but I doubt it costs so much that a billionaire wouldn't be able to afford three tickets for his family to take a day trip there.”
She ducked her head, looking embarrassed, but I reached out with my index finger to tilt her chin back up. “The Children's Museum sounds like a great idea,” I told her. “But let's not spoil the surprise for Emma. We'll just tell her we're going somewhere and let her figure it out when w
e get there.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Lexi said, smiling back at me. Then, she yawned, belatedly covering her mouth. “Sorry,” she said. “I think that's my sign to go to bed.”
“We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow,” I said, standing up off the couch and holding out a hand to help her up as well. Impulsively, I drew her into a hug, feeling her warm curves pressed against me. “Sleep well,” I said as I broke away, feeling sheepish.
“You too,” Lexi said softly, smiling as she turned to head back upstairs.
Chapter Nineteen
Lexi
I watched Lexi scamper through the fake landscape that they had set up in the Children's Museum, flipping over rocks in her search for “bugs.” I glanced over at Andrew, who was also watching Emma, looking amused but also a bit perplexed.
“Having fun?” I asked.
Andrew shook himself, turning towards me. “Oh, yeah,” he said. “Having fun.” He frowned, though, waving his hand towards the exhibit as though he just couldn't figure the place out. “To be honest, I didn't know that places like this existed.”
“You never came here as a kid?” I asked, feeling surprised. For someone who had grown up in the city, it was hard to believe that he had never been here before.
“Never,” Andrew said, shaking his head. He paused. “To be honest, running around tubes and frolicking weren't really big in my childhood.”
“You definitely missed out,” I told him.
“Yes, god forbid that I wasn't out here finding fake bugs beneath fake rocks,” he said mock-seriously.
I laughed. “It's not all about finding fake bugs under fake rocks,” I said.
“True,” Andrew said. “Actually, I never built a fort when I was a kid either. Out of blankets or out of boxes.” He laughed, sounding a little self-conscious. “I don't know what my father would have said if he found me practicing my architectural skills rather than working on something to do with business, but I don't think he would have praised me for my creativity.”
I winced, struck again by how normal my childhood had been in comparison with his. Sure, I didn't get along with my father, and my mother was something of a flake, but at least she had always been there to encourage me in whatever pursuit struck my fancy. I was lucky to have that.
And I only hoped that Emma had that as well. But from watching her father watch her as she scampered around through the exhibits, I found that I didn't really have any worries.
“We're going to need to build a blanket fort back at home,” I told him. “You can't go through life without having a blanket fort.”
Then, I blushed brilliantly, realizing what I had just said. “I mean, when we're back at your home. And maybe just you and Emma should focus on building the blanket fort. I guess that might be a little too intimate for us, to be together in such a small space.” I coughed uncomfortably.
“Relax,” Andrew said. “I knew what you meant. And I wasn't worried.” His phone rang just then, and he glanced over at me, a querying look on his face.
“Go ahead and answer it,” I said. “I'll keep track of Emma if you need to go someplace quieter.”
“Thanks,” Andrew said, turning partially away from me as he answered the phone. “Hey,” he said warmly to whoever it was on the other side.
He listened for a minute, walking a couple steps away from me and then half-turning towards me, as though he was about to start pacing right here in the middle of the museum. I raised an eyebrow at him and was surprised to see him blush faintly and turn away.
“I'm not home right now, babe,” he said.
Renée.
“I don't know when I'll be home today.” He paused, listening. “That's a nice idea, but I'm not at work, actually. I took the day off. No, I'm not sick.”
I wondered how he was going to explain this one to her. He was such a workaholic that there was no way she was going to buy the notion that he had just decided to take a day off work, for no reason whatsoever. The sick excuse would have been a good one if he was looking for an excuse. Otherwise, he was going to have to tell her exactly what he was up to, but I couldn't see him doing that, either.
He started to look agitated, beginning to pace and to fidget. His fingers drummed against his leg. “Look, I'm a little busy right now, so why don't I call you tonight?” he finally suggested. “I promise I'll explain everything then.” He paused. “Yes, okay. Talk to you then. Bye.”
He hung up, looking towards the sky for vindication.
“Why don't you just tell her about us?” I suggested, carefully not looking at him.
I knew, again, that I had no right to tell him how to handle his relationships. Still, I couldn't help thinking that things would be easier for both of us if he just came clean to his girlfriend about the fact that his daughter was currently living with him. Besides, it wasn't as though he could hide that forever.
Or if he could, he wasn't the kind of man who I wanted to have around my daughter.
“As I said, it's complicated,” Andrew said, frowning over at me. “I don't want to risk telling her just to potentially have everything blow up in my face.”
“It's not the media that you're worried about, is it?” I asked.
“How do you know?” Andrew asked sharply.
“Because if you were worried about being found out by the media, you probably wouldn't have come here with us today,” I pointed out. “Don't you think this little outing could seem suspicious if someone were to notice us and recognize you? You're here with a mysterious woman, not your sister, and a young girl. You know the conclusion that people would be drawing.”
Andrew was quiet for a minute.
“Look, honesty is really the only way to handle this,” I told him. “If you're not honest with her, that's how you're going to lose her.”
“And I, of course, should trust you, because you're a woman and you know these things,” Andrew said snidely. “Never mind the fact that you've never had a conversation with her, let alone dated her for a few months.”
“I'm not trying to start a fight,” I said. “Let's not do this here. But how else are you going to explain where you were today if you're not sick and you're not at work?”
“I shouldn't have to explain where I am,” Andrew said, sounding cranky. “I'm a grown man, and she's a grown woman. We should be able to do what we want to with our own time, without being subject to scrutiny by the other person. I don't ask where she is every day. I don't ask what she gets up to. For all I know, she could be fucking someone at the gym, or bringing someone home after her nights out at the bar with friends. But I trust her not to do those things, and she trusts me in the same way.”
I blinked at him, surprised that he was getting this worked up about it. He must really have feelings for the woman.
Suddenly, Andrew was off. At first, I thought he'd decided that he'd had enough and he was leaving. But when I looked, I saw that Emma was on the ground, crying loudly and holding her hands out in front of her. She had clearly fallen hard, probably tripping over her own feet in her excitement.
And Andrew was there to kiss it all better.
I watched as he knelt down next to her, concern etched in every line of his face as he inspected her hands and helped her wiggle all her fingers. Once he was satisfied that there was nothing broken, he bent down and kissed both of her palms. Then, he reached out and ruffled her hair.
Emma chirped something at him, and he threw his head back and laughed, opening his arms to her. Emma hopped up and leaped into his arms, letting him catch her.
Andrew came slowly back over to me. “Emma says she's tired and wants to go home now,” he said.
I raised my eyebrows at her in surprise, but her shriek of laughter confirmed that he was just kidding. “That's not what I said!” she giggled.
“It isn't?” Andrew asked, widening his eyes at her. “Silly me. That's what I heard.”
“I want to go play with the theater stuff,” Emma said. “Please.”
I smiled. She always did like to play dress-up. “All right, let's see if we can find that,” I said, consulting the map that they'd handed us when we came in.
“I'm gonna be a princess,” Emma announced, digging out a bright pink dress and a purple tiara. She found a golden crown and expectantly held it out to Andrew. “Come on; you have to be the prince.”
Andrew blanched, looking over at me, but I just smiled sweetly at him. “Don't look at me, I'm not going to be the prince,” I said to him.
He frowned, twirling the crown around in his hands. But then, he looked at Emma struggling into her dress, and I saw a soft smile break out on his face. He put the crown on his head and rummaged through the bin of clothes until he found a cape to wear with it.
“I guess I have to rescue you, Princess Emma?” he asked.
Emma rolled her eyes with all the self-assurance of a three-year-old. “Princess Emily,” she said.
“Should I rescue you, Princess Emily?” Andrew corrected.
“Nah,” Emma said, grinning at him and brandishing a sword. “I can fight just as good as boys. See!”
I watched them race around for a while, plastic swords in hand, until Andrew dramatically “died” when Emma slashed him across the chest. I clapped my hands as they both stood up and bowed.
Then, Emma skipped over to me, tugging at my hand. “Mama, Mama, wasn't Mr. Goldwright great?” she asked excitedly.
“He was,” I agreed, looking over to where Andrew was standing. He looked almost bashful, and I had to remind myself that this was all new for him. I smiled, hoping some of the pictures on my phone had turned out. I couldn't wait to send them to Misty.
For the first time in three years, I actually felt attracted to Andrew again. Seeing him interact with Emma like that did something inside of me. It made me want him. As he scooped Emma, sans princess costume, up into his arms, I could see his biceps flexing, and as he pulled her close and kissed her on the nose, I had a sudden flashback to the first kiss that he and I had shared.